The Costliest Toy I Ever Had is a smartphone worth 13000. How many years would it take to repay the loans?

1. I clearly remember that night: on roof, I was wondering about the nature of reality in between: she was in a petticoat. The lady sent chills down my spine. Later I went to do the last rites with their family members. Today, as I was disposing off the garbage, I burnt an Aadhar number document along with an electricity bill. My brother was present when I was on roof. I had asked him to complete in between when he professed to be a Hindu. I also recalled couple of dreams and an identity card.

2. My father or the man who was exercising stern authority in this house : he was carrying a Jio 4G phone when my previous phone was dysfunctional. The dream had a strange connotation: an eye shown by the cook in this house. She was a dark magician. The phone had a strange but small effect. Three scorpions and then there was a strange sequence of events.

3. Third time around the hope came with the sibling luring me into believing that the parents who were harshest critics in the affairs of eating and sleeping and living were somehow willing to buy cellphones. I declared it to all neighborhood boys who were playing cricket. I seldom realize that they were playing with me all along. The dreams were in sequence given to purturb me. I was never let sleep properly by my brother and grandmother. The phone was merely a trigger to ensure that they not only refuse it to me repeatedly on pretext of salary reasons but also keep making me feel look down because another second hand device was given to me. I invested time and money into a bugged second hand phone which had a cracked screen.

4. After an year: when my brother has revealed that he’s indeed the slave of my parents and grandmother is a devil as well: my mother anandvalli of Vallalar’s most popular decad from Thiruvarutpa appears with a new phone worth 13000 rupees. Who paid for that? She said it was her husband. I knew it was fake. It means slavery. The court case of theirs had a strange argument: the lady said that these people keep their vegetables, store room, and kitchen always locked. When it was revealed to me that it was not merely my neighbours who were practicing kabbalah: it was the whole neighborhood for the whole time. It was a little too much to digest. They still keep the kitchen and Pooja rooms locked during night. The brother was scared of the dark and he’s still scared of the dark. If David Lynch’s Inland Empire and Christopher Nolan’s Inception hadn’t taught me that lucid dreaming had so many locks I would have continued to believe that I was fully enlightened sage like Buddha.

5. Who was it I was living with for so many eons? The movie Dark City gives a hint. Memories. But I really don’t understand when I got trapped into the memories of Sharda Prasad and my aunt on that takht. Sister and me, then other memories. How did I get forced to choose these identities as family.

6. They say that afterlife shows you all events. That you are given a good understanding of all events of previous life: I feel it is false. A lie. Rather group of many lies together. I died many deaths to be here. The experience has been astounding but I didn’t really feel any free will or choice. Only the same memes playing at the different levels .

7. Archons. Devotees. Atheists. Yogis. Materialists were at war with each other. Simulation hypothesis and politics of controlling mind. Take covid 19 for example: I think it is a religion which is advertised by people. Like Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Sikhism, Zoroastrian and Sufism. Why separate them from advertisement for material goods? I understand clearly why Christ might have shown rage against Jewish shops in those temples. I kind of re-lived that with an understanding that the ancient wild force can’t be subdued without awareness and surrender. Whatever was shown to me in terms of Science was too meager. Fulfilment of desire by the same agency which created it after a long time is not the fulfillment. Unless desire is fulfilled immediately: you are a powerless puppet in the hands of powerful people. What is the use of desire if it’s fulfilled after an Eon or two? It’s to build pyramids and tombs and towers by being cruel to animals and slaves. Emir Khusro says: kheer, charkha, dog and tabla. The verse he created in response to water being given by a lady on a well. Akin to Christ’s sermon. And a star is broken again. Tara. Lock is open now.


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