Dancing light of grace

1. I had a very subtle inkling of what was happening when I used to go to see ranking boards. It was a rare thing to get qualified for Resonance coaching institute in Kota, Rajasthan. The first systematic sacrifice, the first awakening, the first realization, the very first systematic invention of rhythmic breathing, reading Osho because the usual acharya wasn’t available. It looks like it was many centuries ago. The whole gamut included: Raj Bapna. Dr. Win Wenger. Richard Bandler. Uncle who sold his blood to complete his college (words borrowed from old sibling) . Bansal. The Great American dream. Astrologers in my neighborhood and family. Uncles who bet on me. Etcetera. One Usha Shukla’s husband had daring to think that my losing weight was result of being in a bad company. Another good jolt was given by one mister Khare who is still not worth being talked about. Another friend who was cunning, calculative and had his father in bank : he was a miser and kept his appetite in check so that later he might buy some toys for his kids to be and show them off on Facebook. I heard from him only once or twice until he had things to show off. The nightmare I had: the Vaitaal being played by Umang’s grandfather who had to become a great black hole later on. And my being unable to realize that my goblin father was eaten up way too earlier than I thought. I was an alien there and an alien here. An alien everywhere. Never enough smart, never enough wealthy, always in want. R3—R4—R5—R6—R7. What was happening? Bench to stool to tasting death. Why did that guy tell: ” I saw a dream that you died!” I later reflected on the event with the Hawaldar Murlidhar: I had indeed died. Perhaps he didn’t know it then. Maybe he did. It served as a great pointer to note that a new life began. I was creating rains without knowing it. And ironically: later I thought I needed to help people who had no rains or lack of them. How long it takes to grasp mystical from the viewpoint of human beings who reincarnate. It might be an hour or a minute for higher beings or nothing at all : from a standpoint where time doesn’t exist. Instead of reading “how to stop worrying and start living;” I should have been reading “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying”: if its purest version existed which had no emblems from Robert Thurman. That would have been more useful than Osho : his half baked versions of Buddhism. That would have been better than Rao sir’s repeated exhortation about IQ. If I didn’t have the intelligence quotient to get coached: I shouldn’t have been admitted. But they had a big business to run which was started by Nehru and English people. I was not given admission into the fourth class in the school because I only knew twenty something words because that was the range of vocabulary my household or orphanage had: Foster kids home : where they are beaten and systematically raped for trinkets. Until they develop the Stockholm syndrome. They haven’t known any better. Resonance: means living together of people in harmony.

2. It’s a light show here. I bowled 101 times. A few guys joined to practice and field. It was fun though I wondered if I needed to move over to another place. It’s as much of running as I would have done after many months. Old hard work comes like gift or wisdom recollection to help me. It was something similar then: a few jokes by school mates who couldn’t really develop as good a bowling action or speed as I did. For many years. But I forgot everything else in pursuit of superiority. The reason: genuine venom in their jokes. That I didn’t have a round arm action; that I was a chucker: in turn I poured the same venom in my blog article ” a generation of chuckers”: standard actions and what is considered good is set by civilization and zeitgeist and we hurry up to follow through. Until we get tired and retire to see others do that.

3. Son means ‘sound’ as a root form. If extrapolation was right: all goldsmiths should have sound health. No male pattern baldness or aging. The essence is created by the word. The greatest son of father means there is only one son who is the holy Spirit or Logos. He’s the Archon or One of the seven archons. Yesterday I read about Saturn eating up all its male children and Jupiter being saved by Juno in the Greek myth. Add ouroboros or draconid axis to that: the serpent forms a circle and only those who move out of the circle are spared their life. I really don’t want any children to read this as it’s going to give them nightmares but perhaps Jai knows more than this already. My father’s aunt who was one of many tenants used to tell these stories. In some ways: she was more kind than the actual investors. Or it seems from a distance. Like those teachers who created some fond memories: some moments where I felt that I was special or deserving: not realizing the gravity of things to follow: perhaps nobody does that.

4. A written record by Vallalar in the year 2020 was better than a promise made by the teacher who initiated me in 2014. It might be that both were false promises : but the adept status was not claimed by anyone else in such a way after him. And if there is Truth in anything : his must be the final or best to be on the public record without having been suppressed. Lack of popularity can easily be understood by the argument given in favor of beings like Buddha and Gandhi: that they were emanation bodies of a Truth body which had already attained perfection in some other dimensions. Icons for “lokasangraha.” That stands true for all celebrities and if I see bazillion people ahead of me in queue to attain perfect liberation: the tall claims of Vallalar fall flat. It can’t be time or gaining merits via charity. It’s the conclusion I reached via gnosis in 2007. I found that making lists was like using needle in place of sword. It was a puzzle posed by the person who took me to get initiated by the Surati Sabd Yoga master. I couldn’t fathom the mandala scheme for many years until the parallel universes and time travel was understood clearly. I can say: I have a firm unshakable understanding of those two with actual memories of having travelled in time as well as memories being overwritten multiple times. But: I still don’t have a machine which would immediately take me to an old age or a future one. There are barriers which need immense reservoirs of energy to be done away with completely. There are factions: countless: trying to do the same thing. The great time still remains a challenge. Completely timeless beings haven’t met me as friends. People who have no pride for being immortal, young, immune to decay, aging or death(fear). I am waiting. To see beings with countless heads and hands. Giant snakes. Etcetera.