Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

Sallekhana Diet and Middle Class Lunch!

1. 6 rotis with bison ghee spread on them. Two curries: one bowl full of arabi, tomato, green pepper and about four teaspoonfuls of beans. Two teaspoonfuls of apple salad. Having requested just four rotis without ghee didn’t have any effects on the kitchen.
2. Need to compare it with Sallekhana diet: it was one roti with two teaspoonful of curry: it meant 600 rice grains.
3. This plate had 2400 ( 2700 ) rice grains worth of rotis ( though I still consider ghee to be complementary as I had requested to not add it ). Vegetables bowl with arabi is equivalent to at least 30 teaspoonful of rice grains: 3000 rice grains. Bean curry is worth 600 rice grains. Apple salad, two teaspoonful is at least 200 rice grains ( that’s an understatement not litotes or meiosis because apple is costlier compared to rice. )
4. Total: 6500 rice grains worth of lunch. It was posh-No. It was a middle class lunch: it wasn’t posh. It was a lunch I used to have a few months ago. Middle class people here consider themselves kings and queens. That’s where the delusional term posh is born from. Upper middle class people start considering themselves to be sole nutrition givers, as if entire world economy revolves around them. Even in terms of pure rice grains worth it was 10.33 times costlier compared to Sallekhana diet.
Cost comparison:
1. Apple: about 90 rupees per Kilogram it’s 2.25 times costlier compared to rice grains so one on one comparison used here isn’t justified though I have no other way to convert these else I won’t be able to manage on a regular basis in the given rubric.
2. Comparing ghee with apple: ghee wins as the costliest item in your plate. Giving up ghee altogether might save your pocket and do a good, a lasting good to your health and happiness if you can convince the kitchen for it.
3. Ghee is 6.88 or 7 times costlier compared to even apple: the second highest in terms of cost.
4. Wheat is 25 rupees per Kilogram which means it’s one item worth less than rice grains which are 40 rupees per kilogram.
5. On an average, 30 grams of wheat flour or atta is needed to prepare one roti.
6. One teaspoonful of heaped sugar is 7.5 grams of sugar. Normal teaspoonful is 4 grams.
7. Let’s take heaped teaspoonfuls as rubric to measure rice grains and wheat grains.
8. Six rotis are worth 180 grams of wheat which is, at the rate of 40 grams per rupee, less than a rupee per roti. Adding cooking cost, LPG ( Liquid Petroleum Gas) cost and serving, some hotels here sell twenty rupees per four pieces or four rupees per roti. Which means 25 rupees for six rotis. Which means 9375 rice grains at the rate of 375 rice grains per rupee. This won’t be a good conversion.
9. Equivalent conversion which is sustainable is 180 grams of wheat or 2700 rice grains. Here, we haven’t added cooking cost similar to ghee cost. We can update the total rice grains amount today into conversion and arrive at 6500 rice grains. If we added ghee cost it would have been 12-15 times costlier compared to Sallekhana diet. Sallekhana diet was just a few days ago: one roti without ghee and two teaspoonful of curry or rice which was sometimes stale and sometimes fresh.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

Sowing of wild oats stops

1. I remember Dr. Win Wenger, Ph D and his book The Einstein Factor, in which forty years of age was given as some kind of benchmark. I don’t know if ‘life begins at forty or ends.’ I don’t know if sowing of wild oats stops completely at forty.
2. It was this statement “sowing of wild oats…” in the context of “Genetic Study of Geniuses” by Catherine M. Cox quoted by Win that was somewhat difficult to interpret for me when I was reading this book. I asked Arun Sipani who was living in the same building I was living in. He interpreted it for me. It was 22 years ago.
3. This year seemed the most difficult in comparison to all previous years. It seemed more difficult even compared to COVID 19 pandemic years peak. I visited the village where my parents were working when my primary education began. I remember the room where my mother wrote first couple of English language words and drew couple of pictures to illustrate them. I visited the village after two decades. The banyan tree has disappeared. Its descendant is there. Some structures have remained, which sometimes raise doubt if I was at the same place.
4. The journey was difficult. It was as difficult as events preceding the journey were. Then I started walking frequently to escape the daily grind of household. It wasn’t easy out there, yet it seemed it was some source of change, some comfort, perhaps finding new job opportunity to change my lifestyle.
5. I started working in a cafe after meeting some acquaintances from pandemic years. Young entrepreneurs. As I started working I found out how much had changed. Being a regular patron of their services was completely different from being an employee. I thought I deserved respect, I thought I deserved fair treatment from educated enterpreneurs. I even dedicated a weblog to it.
6. The work gradually got hectic. I needed to pay for commute and it exceeded the earning. Almost no balance left. It was merely being employed for the sake of being employed. Their business was faltering. It seemed as if odds were against us. Against me.
7. It wasn’t a wrong interpretation. Soon after quitting the only job which might have meant regular source of livelihood my father who  recently got his retirement from a long career in government service met with a tragic accident and got admitted into a hospital.
8. After a few months I was supposed to be admitted into the same hospital with a similar procedure as if it was due for a long time. Prior to that I had to undergo injuries multiple times. Injuries which seemed strange and inexplicable at times and took longer to heal than before.
9. My mother got transferred to a new work place which only aggravated the situation. There was a birth in the extended family.
10. It rained like never before and roofs were leaking. It was a consistent source of concern without any escape.
11. The tuition jobs were also lost as students disappeared on some excuse or the other. I was supposed to get psychiatric treatment which only aggravated the situation. Students didn’t even pay fees and I kept hearing rumors.
12. Under medication or by design I went through worst kind of conditioning which made me re-evaluate my entire lifestyle. It wasn’t polite. It was as abusive as it gets. It might even qualify as description of purgatory or hell. Though I have already used these for similar upheavals before.
13. I was trying to make sense of the trauma and disaster. Trying to find out if there was an acute famine which necessitates giving up on all sources of comfort. There were no clues. People were keeping up appearances like before. There was no news of a world wide disaster. I thought maybe it was the end for me and after a few days of fasting I would get Sallekhana ( Jainism), Paryopvesh (Hinduism) or Euthanasia ( European English term). It might also have made sense if it was consistent. I kept working on Free Rice website which was supported by United Nations World Food Program. I was working on a difficult project which was supposed to be completed by the end of this year had there not been as many tragedies within a single year as happened in this year or in the last few years.
14.  I was supposed to keep working and following the new code of conduct without going to previous diet or comfort level.
15. I finally got over the forty years mark without getting to see the end. The clearly defined end meant not having to see similar identities or not going through similar events all over again. That criteria was clear even during the acceptance of all the trauma. It didn’t get fulfilled. It wasn’t a typical Sallekhana or Euthanasia.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

Lunch

Lunch 11/12/2025
1. It took me 10:15:66 minutes to finish lunch, put rest of the food on table, put plate to the wash basin and wash my hands in the washroom.
2. Grandmother had served two rotis without bison ghee ( as requested) and a small bowl of moong pulse with three spoonfuls of potato-mooli leafy greens and about half teaspoonful of chutney made with guava, garlic, onion and coriander mixed with salt.
3. She asked me repeatedly if I was keeping an oath. Why wasn’t I eating enough like before. Why wasn’t I taking tea. When I told her I was taking tea, in fact I took tea in the morning -she didn’t believe me. I told her I would prepare tea in the afternoon. Then I asked if she had tea. She said she takes tea many times everyday. I told her I was taking tea only once everyday. Then she left the room with the bowl which had khichdi and potato brinjal vegetable curry in it.
4. I had a roti, one teaspoonful of rice ( not more than 75-80 boiled rice grains) and one teaspoonful of potato-mooli leafy greens with half a glass of water.
5. I have continued with a similar regimen for twenty days now. Almost three weeks. I recall how after the VocabTrainer program finished on November 20th and for the next week I felt very troubled. The coercion was of the worst kind of abuse ever experienced in my life. It brought me to questions about the family, village, neighborhood, city or country : were they going through an acute famine. I was reading a book on Halifax Disaster and I thought we were supposed to cut down our requirements including mobile data used, electricity consumption, water consumption and of course detergent powder ( which was now being supplied rarely, that’s , once per two months. I used to wash my dishes regularly but now no more). I compared the Halifax Disaster with COVID 19 and thought it was the reason. It wasn’t.
6. I decided to find out why were they continuously giving out normal portions which I wasn’t supposed to eat. I was supposed to be a transformed individual who not only touched feet of elders but also cared about whether parents and grandmother had food before me or not.
7. It wasn’t gentle. What I couldn’t figure out was why were they insisting on not just serving normal portions but also on consuming medicines which might have increased hunger in case I was suffering from bulimia. They kept doing that without any sense because eating full meals meant subjecting oneself to even more of abuse of the same kind. I thought it was Sallekhana, Paryopvesh or Euthanasia given without declaration.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

How Does It Matter?

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

  1. However, I would like to share my ideas about why legacies don’t matter from the first person’s viewpoint.
  2. Most of the people who imagine impact of legacies on their descendants or generations that follow believe that they’ll somehow be ( indirectly ) present to experience this impact. And it will cause them pleasure or pain via some invisible connection.
  3. They imagine that impact based on the model of glowing legacies of the worlds they inhabit, though they forget that the impacts of those legacies are not being experienced by those who left them behind.
  4. There’s no logical sense in longing for leaving a legacy or having an impact which is witnessed by some imaginary agents in an imaginary future.
  5. If I am a nobody now, let me be content with it; let there be a complete acceptance of the fact rather than longing for a legacy.
  6. Most of the people who believe in legacies are also the people who believe in either eternal recurrence or reincarnation.
  7. They’re also the people who think and talk like this:
  8. “Think about leaving a better Earth for future generations.”
  9. Why? Maybe because you would be asked by an entity in the afterlife about what you did or didn’t?
  10. It’s all make-believe.
Posted on by dancinglightofgrace · 2 Comments

Why Did I Give Up Writing?

What public figure do you disagree with the most?

Step 1: Imagine a public figure. Stats ( referal in public figure’s stats mostly from Automattic ) booming.

Step 2: Public figure has absolutely no original opinion: disregard.

Step 3: What or Which? Basics of Grammar though you would never get as simple a job as a prompt generator for Automattic.

Step 4: Look what their prompt did! Nothing.

Step 5: There were no public figures I disagreed with.

Step 6: Didn’t mean I agreed with public figures. There was nothing to agree or disagree with. Agreement or disagreement changed nothing in the machinery.

Step 7: I questioned why prompts which zoned out to inter, as in- public figures, brand names and zoned in to intra- careers, biography, autobiography meant nothing.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace · 3 Comments

The Most Truthful Media Outlet and Logical Excellence of Going To Be Popular Elite Leader!

Do you vote in political elections?

  1. No.
  2. However: I wanted to create an archive of what I thought was absurd logic given via a reputed media outlet.
  3. This media outlet has taken complete shelter of one side despite claiming to be impartial.
  4. The usual stance had been to take side of the opposition rather than the ruling party which means they would oppose the very people they’ve been supporting if they become the ruling party.
  5. Reason: to support those in need. To find flaws in the democracy by being the fourth pillar of the democracy.
  6. By the fifth point most of the bots and casual skimmers have gone to sleep. You might need to return to this archive if it survives, if you survive, in a few days, weeks, months or years. Decades would be an exaggeration because literal decadence has set-in.
  7. Coming to the main point: “the popular leader declared their caste to be such to ingratiate masses. First: their academic records are fake. Doesn’t matter. Now their caste records are fake. Doesn’t matter. Does anything matter?”
  8. No. It’s besides the point because I am not a political commentator.
  9. Again coming to the main point: the not-so-popular-leader who might become very popular in nearby future as the person he’s weighing in his argument on a media outlet ( with many people clapping nearby), speaks: “The popular leader who had falsified his caste records to ingratiate downtrodden masses was discerned and judged by me to be from a general caste because I never saw him walking hand-in-hand with common people. Never saw him hugging people from downtrodden classes of society.”
  10. That logic, stated in the point number nine was to establish how this leader was identified to exhibit lack of genuine empathy for a certain group of people.
  11. Wait a minute: it establishes that the accusing person must have genuine empathy for all people. They must have transcended limitations of caste and creed. No, it doesn’t. The argument is petty.
  12. You don’t need to belong to any caste to have genuine empathy. It’s not a sound logic to say that a person born  in a general class, in an elite class or in a downtrodden class can’t have genuine empathy towards all beings because of their birth in those particular classes.
  13. The argument forgets that the person in question himself was born in an elite family. His hugging common people or walking hand-in-hand with downtrodden people would never be considered as genuine empathy unless it accompanies commensurate actions.
  14. “A wasn’t doing this eating, walking and hugging people. I identified him as not belonging to their class. Even research into his documents verified the same.”
  15. “Though I was born into an elite class, I exhibit genuine empathy by hugging ( holding hands of) people from all classes. Especially downtrodden masses.”
  16. If the logic is: a person can exhibit genuine empathy only towards the persons of their own caste: the logic establishes that the person born in elite class CAN’T really hug common people or walk with them even if he pretends to do that.
  17. If the person born in the elite class says that it’s possible to exhibit empathy towards common classes or downtrodden classes despite being born in a general class: there’s no need to use logic of ‘caste’.
  18. By 17 it only becomes a question of whether a person has empathy or not. It’s another matter to decide how to judge whether they have genuine empathy.
  19. It’s completely illogical to use caste as a standard to allege that a person was being more loyal to their own people. By the same logic elite group leader was always loyal to their own: elite group.
  20. General strategy is to pretend to belong to whatever gets things done. Same with the logic of masses being able to sway masses as if they’re blind. Pyramid’s Eye.
  21. Thus: both popular and going-to-be-popular-born-elite leaders keep entertaining masses. The only truthful media person takes shelter because they need to continue earning their living.
Posted on by dancinglightofgrace · 9 Comments

Directions?

What gives you direction in life?

  1. The question presupposes that life is a journey.
  2. The question presupposes that there’s a beginning, an end and directions.
  3. The question presupposes that there’s a clear goal.
  4. Time: after hearing the news of demise of people, when there’s no possibility of seeing them, hearing from them or meeting them in the real time, you estimate their worth. In those moral estimates which are temporal, variegated and dependent on viewpoints you imagine directions as if life was a karmic vector.
  5. Is life really a karmic vector or a mission? Maybe it’s for some people. Then there is weighing of temporal events on a karmic scale.
  6. Is life a scalar, static, immovable quantity? I don’t know.
  7. What’s life if it’s not merely a journey?
  8. Are people, places, things, views and experiences happening in me or am I happening in them?
  9. Does direction indicate a sense of seeing or visual perception primarily or all senses contribute into having moved?
  10. What does it mean to have experience other than a bundle of memories, most of which are being thrown out of your system faster than you hold onto them consciously?
  11. Where am I heading to?
Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

No!

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

  1. No isn’t a quote.
  2. And I am not even trying to be dramatic.
  3. To attract attention of a few numbers which give thumbs up or comments which mean little more than deluge of spams similar to cannabis sellers.
  4. Or the ghosts of Starjade ( The much awaited Deuteronomy Prophet) mixed with Mephiboseth from dilapidated forums of Pam or Lib from two decades ago doing rounds on foreign language speaking alien lady’s weblog-lecturing on tenets of new religion which have longer comments trails than actual weblog posts because practically it’s better to waste your neighborhood’s comment trails by hijacking it despite blogging etiquettes suggesting otherwise than continuing to buy blogging space for your own prophesies.
  5. You only need quotes to convince others about how much of **** it has been and it somehow makes others accept how **** it’s and why it’s not going to be any different.
  6. All great prophets, saints and messiahs, leaders and led leave legacies which are woven to….mislead isn’t even a word….it’s so much off the mark…..I can’t even tell you how much off the mark it’s because there’s no mark.