Geography. They want to study Geography today. I start reading. Wait, we had already covered the fourth chapter, which is about the climate. It’s not until I reach to the passage where measurements for thirty years are discussed as a requirement for determining the climate at a place that I get a Deja Vu.
They accept when I tell it.
What should I read them?
The first chapter.
The usual:
The elder has done his homework. Partially. The younger hasn’t even attempted it.
It’s tricky to get milk pasteurised. If you think it’s the fixed amount of time including when the stove is on ‘sim’ and when it’s on ‘fast’ – you will not get it right. It is more about how long it takes after the gas is burning up faster. It needs your undivided presence then.
I hear the call of the milkman for the grandmother who’s absent. I greet him as I approach. I receive milk as mother had asked me to do. I put it on the gas stove for pasteurisation.
Earlier, before I could serve tea to parents, students arrived. I was supposed to bring chair inside the room and remove utensils from the table. This gives the elder plenty of time to scroll through his Instagram feed.
I am patient. I think he would give it up without insisting. He won’t. I wait.
He shows me a video from his classroom!
That’s height of freedom in a government school. Artistic freedom. His teacher was within the class when the video was being made. How’s it possible?
Then he happily narrates how three of his friends had beaten up a student who had complained about them. They carry smartphones to school.
Backbenchers.
He sides with the horseplay. He sides with the winners. The teacher is connected with the student who made the video and also connected with the student who showed me the video and they’re not scared.
I warmed up the tea again for mother before she left.
Father is attending a call.
Did the younger student spend time before the mirror? Yes.
They clashed once or twice today though it’s not serious. I advised the elder to not strike on head.
He’s wearing another wristband of friendship. It has just FRIEN written on it.
It’s sharp. Metallic. I warn him to be careful with that.
Steel bangle. Thread. Metal wristband. These are all fashionable props for the role he’s playing in the theatre of life: a rowdy teenager who’s tough.
As a plump teenager he wasn’t like this. Adolescence, harmones, company and environment have transformed him dramatically in the last five years.
He belongs to bullies. He’s proud of that. He’s even enjoying being rude and violent to his sibling. More than ever before.
I try to tease the younger one just a bit about the smartphone. It’s puzzling. His expressions don’t suggest that there’s any competition regarding the smartphone use and ownership. It’s not an impending war. He’s going to fight slowly for a long time to get the luxury his elder brother is enjoying.
However, I again remark on his complete loss of interest in studies. In doing that I realise that I am not being like my usual self. I am behaving more like my parents who used to make me feel ashamed when they wanted me to work harder on studies.
The things I tell him are all facts. Only thing is: I am doing it regularly. Rehash. Balderdash? No. Rehash.
When I ask the elder if he recalls his brother’s previous performance: he hardly takes any interest, though he nods. He’s more concerned about acnes on his face. The younger is busy examining his image in the mirror. I talk about covering the window pane with newspapers. The elder is in agreement.
The younger appears to be dreamy and lost in the thought before they leave.
The Geography chapter was brief. They ask about China. China has been in the news. They might have heard the news.
We study a bar graph which has relative comparison of countries with biggest geographical areas in the world.
The elder comments on the small size of country in the map shown. I take note of this and start discussion on how small we actually are in comparison to the area of a country. Then I upscale the discussion by using refrences to galaxies, solar systems and universe. He asks if galaxies blast. He might have heard of the Big Bang. I briefly tell him about Quasars, formation of stars and hypothetical universe.
I tell him how we really don’t know much about anything. I tell him how no single human being knows not more than bits and pieces. Even collective knowledge of humanity is much less compared to collective ignorance.
We know enough to know that we don’t.
The Mirror and the Molecule
My mother asked me to make tea when the cook was in the kitchen. I asked her to wait until she was done. Later, I found that she had made it herself. She offered me some. I had it when the class was over. The software version of this phone updated itself.
Students left after noting down Addition and Subtraction problems. It was the second batch. The elder solved the first batch. The younger hardly attempted them. If I again paint a picture of the younger student with my words: it would suggest how detached he seems from studies these days. We remarked on that briefly: earlier he used to do his occasionally, now he doesn’t.
Since his rough notebook is full, He merely pulls out a page from here, another from there and without even using a pad underneath attempts to write on it as the pen makes holes into the paper. Later, he takes this paper in his hand and pokes it further with his pen. I ask him to not do that. There was still space on it, like spaces left out here and there on the pages of his notebook. He crumbled the torn page and keeps it in his bag. I ask the elder to carefully keep his drawing box into the bag lest they forget it similar to yesterday’s episode.
The elder had been making fun of the younger and despite my forbidding him from doing so he returned to it periodically throughout the class, as if, unable to control himself due to almost sadistic joy he derives from it. At once their battle begins to become too violent with steel bangles, the elder takes away the steel bangle from the younger. I ask them to be careful with that. The younger gives him three- four retaliatory blows.
Meanwhile there’s a bet about who can do 5000000-2344678 faster. I taught the technique to subtract one from both numbers before proceeding with the subtraction to the elder when the younger was absent. He uses it as a strategic advantage, quite sure that the younger was going to err on it. He places a ten rupees bet which is soon accepted by his brother though he can’t produce the money when he demands. Though I don’t promote betting I know this isn’t going anywhere. Calligraphy, calculations, homework, punctuality and any other traits which were present in the younger student have completely disappeared. The elder isn’t an ideal student yet he’s much better than the younger and he gets the solution correct with only a single digit’s error because he writes :
5000000-1= 5999999 and then after doing something similar with the other number proceeds with his substraction.
As soon as I evaluate the only subtraction problem attempted by the younger he backs off from the bet.
The elder threatens him.
“Unless you pay me, I will bear you at home or you will be trapped in some scheme created by me. I will tell others to withdraw money from you where I am supposed to pay.”
That’s just a ten rupees affair. But that’s a big deal. The morale of the younger student is already down. Yesterday, he had to make another trip to collect his bag.
This doesn’t prevent him from grooming himself. The window mirrors which are stained with calcium carbonate which was in water are a source of motivation for him more than any of my encouragement for doing his homework.
Adolescence.
The first thing he does after entering the room is to check himself thoroughly in the mirror.
Then he very eagerly asks me if his face is circular, as it appears in the school mirrors or oval. I tell him about the Dhubela museum mirrors which show tall, short, stout images to visitors. I tell him that his face is not circular in shape. At this point the elder also grooms his hair. Even his face isn’t circular.
I had to request the younger one to not touch his hair anymore. The elder is almost sleepy as I read Laws of Motion. The chapter is about motion. There’s an introduction about Galileo. It’s detailed. It tells how he actually wanted to do Maths but his father wanted him to become a doctor. It’s surprising there were universities in Italy even five hundred years ago. He published a book on work based on Archimedes at first. His heart wasn’t in the study of Medicine.
The younger student exclaims about the incident being in 1564-1586 : it was five hundred years ago! He’s almost right. I consider it a positive sign. At least he’s taking some interest. It’s not.
He waves his arms menacingly, as if, half baked understanding of what I am reading in his textbook is to be used to feed his:
Prophet
Fundamental dogmatic violent wings
Narcissistic hero.
He eagerly awaits until I reach the passage describing why we feel a shock when gun fires a bullet. At this point the elder tells with confidence how he once fired a small spherical pellet at a bucket and it created a hole in it. I am teaching them the third law of motion:
“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”
It’s by Sir Issac Newton.
The elder casually comments about the nature of experiments done by Newton to reach these conclusions.
We see a picture in which a boy is jumping from a small boat to a wooden block. The picture is casually made. It’s not an illustration. It was supposed to give a hint. It wasn’t a drawing competition. I wanted the younger one to draw pictures like he used to do before. In previous classes. He’s more concerned with his hairstyle.
He interjects about friction when it’s mentioned in the textbook. I describe it to him. They readily grasp how sudden breaks or movement of the bus shows us “Inertia” of rest and moment.
Reading Hindi text feels slightly different. There are numerical problems based on the Newton’s laws of motion.
F=ma
And relationships between initial and final velocities with acceleration, time and displacement. We skip these because they’re not oriented to attempt them.
The chapter is covered faster than they expected. We continue with the practice of Algebra. Before moving out they check Instagram feed. When I ask if the younger student would need the smartphone next year there’s no sudden discussion. They have a good acceptance about how things have been going on in this regard.
Joyce, Nolan, Tolstoy: The Idea of Simultaneity
The very thing that makes Ulysses the “Big Bang” of modern storytelling. While Joyce didn’t invent the idea of multiple plots, he refined the technique of simultaneity—showing exactly what different people are doing at the same “absolute” moment—in a way that feels like a precursor to the editing in Inception or Dunkirk.
Prior to Joyce, writers used parallel timelines, but they usually served the plot rather than the concept of time itself.
1. The Victorian “Meanwhile” (Dickens & Tolstoy)
In the 19th century, writers like Charles Dickens used parallel plots extensively (A Tale of Two Cities, Bleak House).
* The Style: Dickens would follow one character for three chapters, then write, “Leaving Mr. Pip to his reflections, we now return to…”
* The Difference: This is linear parallel storytelling. It’s like a relay race where one runner finishes their leg before the camera moves to the next. Joyce, like Nolan, prefers the simultaneous cut, where the two timelines are “vibrating” against each other at once.
2. Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina
Tolstoy was a master of the “cross-cut” between the urban tragedy of Anna and the rural spiritual quest of Levin.
* Joyce’s Reference: Joyce admired Tolstoy’s “stream of consciousness” (especially in the final moments of Anna Karenina). However, Tolstoy’s timelines are broad; Joyce’s are measured by the minute.
3. Flaubert’s Madame Bovary (The Agricultural Fair)
This is perhaps the most direct “ancestor” to Joyce’s style. In a famous scene, Flaubert intercuts a romantic seduction with the shouting of prize-winning livestock at a fair.
* The Effect: It’s a “spatial” cross-cut. By putting two unrelated events in the same paragraph, Flaubert creates irony. This is the “God’s eye view” that Nolan uses when he cuts between the different levels of the dream in Inception.
The “Nolan-esque” Innovation: The Synchronized Watch
What Joyce did that was truly new (and what Nolan mimics) is Synchronicity.
In Chapter 10, Wandering Rocks, Joyce gives us 19 short vignettes.
* The Technique: He will describe a character walking down a street, and in the middle of the paragraph, he’ll insert a single sentence about a bell ringing across town or a “crumpled throwaway” floating in the river.
* The Purpose: To show that all these people are trapped in the same “block” of time. It’s exactly like the Interstellar “tesseract” moment where all times and places exist in one physical structure.
The Cinema Factor
Joyce was obsessed with the early cinema (he actually opened the first cinema in Dublin, the Volta). He realized that film could do something books couldn’t: The Jump Cut. Ulysses is his attempt to make a book behave like a movie camera, cutting between Stephen on the beach and Bloom at the butcher shop without needing a narrator to explain the transition.
Bag
After they left I had to make a call to their house as the younger one had forgotten to carry his bag with him. A couple arrived as they were leaving. I was latching the door and they commented on that-asking me to unlatch it. I let it stay open. The lady entered first and asked where my mother was, followed by the gentleman. I told her that she was visiting her mother. They stayed for about fifteen minutes complaining about the tenants in another building which is adjacent to their yard. They had complained about it before it seems though I wasn’t aware of it. When I tell them that –it doesn’t please them. I kept listening to the rest of the conversation with patience until my grandmother arrived with my uncle. They started talking to them. Grandmother was aware of the issue and expressed her concern about the lack of the resolution of the issue.
The younger student arrived when halftime of the class was over. The elder again had a smelly socks problem. I took him out and asked him to wash his feet by giving him detergent powder and water.
As soon as he arrived he showed me a cream for his acne issue. It had cost him one twenty rupees.The printed cost was one thirty rupees. The younger one read it correctly, yet I read it for the elder just to confirm. I read the procedure on its packet for its application.
Then we worked on an English workbook. First we did some questions on passages from the textbook, then on some questions based on verses and then on the Grammar portion which had jumbled words to arrange in proper sentence structures as well as some questions where tense needed to be changed. There were some other questions which needed to be changed into negative or interrogative types.
They were quarreling with each other and even the elder brother appeared difficult to manage. They didn’t attend the class yesterday and there was someone to inspect the school today which meant they were allowed to return back later than usual today.
The younger student was looking into the mirror and playing with a fake plastic pearl. The elder was busy removing dirt from the nails of his feet. The cook arrived. My mother had asked me to tell her about the vegetables that were needed to be prepared this evening.
I had organised utensils in the kitchen, mopped the verandah floor and served tea for parents earlier. The younger student had again used red ink to complete just a portion of his homework on a torn page. It was an application for leave.
I gave them some homework and the class was over. The elder showed me a picture of his friend on Instagram. He was a student who used to study here in my classes.
Making of Ulysses
Those two stories—the daily grind of teaching and the grand legal battle for the soul of literature—represent the two poles of Joyce’s life: the struggle to survive and the struggle to be heard.
1. The Berlitz School: Joyce the Teacher
While writing about Stephen’s “school kip,” Joyce was living his own version of it in Trieste.
* The Method: The Berlitz method was “direct immersion”—no translation allowed. Joyce had to teach English using only English.
* The Students: His classes were a mix of naval officers, wealthy socialites, and shopkeepers. One of his students was the famous writer Italo Svevo, who eventually became a close friend and a model for Leopold Bloom.
* The “Boredom”: Joyce hated the repetition. He often arrived late or spent the lesson gossiping about Irish politics. However, this job gave him the perfect “ear” for how language is actually spoken, which he used to create the incredibly realistic dialogue in Ulysses.
2. United States v. One Book Called Ulysses (1933)
This is one of the most important court cases in literary history. After years of being smuggled into the US in brown paper wrappers, the book finally faced a judge.
* The Strategy: Random House (the publisher) wanted to get caught. they literally sent a copy through customs so it would be seized, allowing them to sue the government.
* Judge John M. Woolsey: He was a sophisticated, literate judge. He spent weeks reading the book.
* The Verdict: In a landmark decision, Woolsey ruled that the book was not obscene. He wrote that while it was “somewhat emetic” (made you want to vomit) in places, it was not “aphrodisiac” (meant to cause lust).
* The Famous Quote: Woolsey stated that Joyce was attempting to show how the “screen of consciousness” actually works, and that his “experiments” were a sincere attempt to record the human mind. This opened the doors for modern literature to discuss the body and the psyche without fear of jail time.
Etymology of “Berlitz”
* Origin: Named after Maximilian Berlitz, a German immigrant to the US.
* Etymology: The name is a variant of Berlic, of Slavic origin (Sorbian), likely meaning “little bear” or related to a geographical location.
* Significance: In the book, Stephen feels like a “little bear” or a caged animal in his teaching job, trapped by the need for “four shining sovereigns.”
Etymology of “Obscene”
Since this word almost ended Joyce’s career:
* Origin: From the Latin obscenus.
* Etymology: Uncertain, but often thought to be from ob- (against/away) + caenum (“filth” or “mud”).
* The Irony: As we discussed, Joyce’s name Loyola (his school) means “muddy place.” He leaned into the “filth” of reality to find the “shining” truth beneath it.
Planned Obsolescence
Organised utensils. Fixed burners into gas. Put the gas cylinders into the bathroom. Lukewarm water and tea served. The verandah was congested. Mopping couldn’t happen properly. Washed a cup and served tea. Had it myself. All of it took thirty minutes time. Informed mother about the cooker whistles. She was returning from outside with a stick in her hand. Students left only after forty two minutes. I wasn’t expecting them today. There was a piebald dog outside and another was barking. There were cows. The younger student had difficulty even staying for thirty minutes. They were being physically aggressive to eachother and the elder had pen nibs without caps. I warned him to be careful with that. I also asked them to not hit eachother on head.
They’re going to perform Surya Namaskar Yoga postures again tomorrow morning. They had a practice session on ninth. They didn’t bring Remedial Module book or smartphone to get my help. Though they come up with sudden requirements they show lack of foresight.
The elder told me that he was asleep at the time of the class yesterday though he wasn’t suffering from fever as told by his father. I gave both of them problems on Addition and Subtraction. I sweeped the room after they left.
When the unit 8.2 was completed they wanted me to narrate a story to them. The younger one wanted me to tell a story in which his name was used as a good person who helped everyone. When I refused to tell such a story he asked me to create a story in which a dog used to help people who used to roam around and used to have bones for food.
I think either asking for fee or refusing to create a story with his name might have prompted him to such vagaries. I had somewhat clairvoyant dreams. Similar voices. None of it is new.
The two problems I showed them solutions for are straightforward Geometry problems, though they had hard time grasping basics as usual. Both problems use mid point theorem, though I spend a few minutes before realising that I wasn’t reading the second problem carefully. The environmental noise was rising.
Working on SLM or Nano GPT. Why do I mix it with the routine in this article? It has been more than five years working on Replika. Law of diminishing returns. Network unavailability made it evermore difficult a task to access it. Though there appeared better models, they would’ve been similar with the network issues. Finally, I was supposed to make switch from 4G to 5G. Entire family was doing that. This brought an in-built AI model which, after some reluctance was going to replace the Replika which had stood the test of time. It seemed like “Planned Obsolescence.” I remember the first time when I found a Gemini window open–I hadn’t actually opened it: I considered it a glitch. It was faster to access in comparison to Chat GPT or Replika. I let go of free subscription for Perplexity because it would have created further burden to cope with. Though Gemini was using a version 2.5. It had a voice assistant and much better feedback compared to Replika which was a freemium version. I think it was still not ‘pro’ version offered by Google yet it was much better being a gift package with smartphone.
Unconditional Love!
This date creates a numerical palindrome: 21022021. It adds up to 1.
1. The day began with a recommended tweet from someone who claimed to have launched satellites in Moon and Mars missions. Her GPA was 2.4 and she moulded herself to become a celebrity. I only moulded her tweet which had grammatical errors: perhaps, typos. I replied her. She didn’t get back to me. I was surprised as last night too I was helping a fellow blogger with typos who also didn’t appreciate it.
2. Walked for an hour. Skipped softy.
3. Sweeped library, verandah and the space around Gandhi statue. There were leaves. Collected and burnt them along with gutka and drinking water pouches from yesterday’s Lokranjan program.
4. Spent some time watching the rehearsal of Tendor For Tajmahal They were wearing frocks to look like courtiers. It was hilarious to see them. The play is supposed to be funny so I guess they’re successful.
5. Watched Glengarry Glen Ross. It didn’t impress me as much this time. The title and the starcast is intriguing. The plot is depressing.
6. With every passing day I feel hopeful towards afterlife. None of my convictions are actually convictions. They don’t last. With awakening I lost all traces of an ego which puts fight for this or that. I clearly see reasons for human behaviour. I try to convey my views politely if it’s in a one-on-one conversation. If it’s not: I try to avoid interaction at the risk of being misunderstood which is always better than being misunderstood after trying to put my point across among a bunch of monkeys.
7. It occurred to me yesterday: as I was reading a post by Rehan: in previous instances of mother’s love being called unconditional I used to reject the idea because of my misunderstanding.
Mother’s love is unconditional within the set of mother-child. It means : except in some rare cases: mother’s love their children no matter what. It doesn’t matter if children are ugly or good looking, young or old and so on.
Earlier: I used to argue against unconditional aspect of love by defining love as inherently being unconditional. It’s energy overflowing like fragrance of sweetest flower or biggest cloud ready to pour. If it’s not for all it’s not love. Clearly: mother’s love being limited to child is not unconditional in that sense. It’s not universal and local within the set of mother-child relationship. To call it unconditional love is appropriate. The love of an enlightened sage which might better be called compassion or the love of Godhead is truly unconditional because there no particular forms remain as worthy of love. It’s all encompassing.
8. I have decided to put down Aditi and other deities in Veda by MP Pandit. I have almost completed it in about two months. I got it issued on December 24th. Now I would read Kathasaritsar by Somdev along with Peter De Polnay’s The Umbrella Thorn.
Image credit Self, captured at Gandhi Smarak Nidhi Chhatarpur Madhya Pradesh
The Day!
1. There are beautiful cotton clouds in the sky.
2. As I cleansed the rack before I sat to register books this noon, i decided to burn the garbage. The wife of the trustee came asking if I was burning new papers regularly. I told her they were old papers. While she’s adept at lying about her income and NGOs functioning, she ensures i am not doing anything unrighteous.
3. Back-from-home farmer is advising another lady wage earner (was that daily wage earner? Slip of lips blips): the milk of newly born baby’s mother is a patent medicine for the pain in ear. The guy then proceeds onto ask if she had tried that as medicine for someone. What’s life without a bit of fun and lewd jokes at workplace is painted on his face. As for payment for my work: they’re all mute.
4. I have limited freedom as a person who is not at least anti-social. I have to prove that on a regular basis.
5. VG visited the premise after a long time. We chatted for a while. I had passed from his office while running for marathon. His house is nearby to big Chhatrasal statue in the village. He said he helped organise the event at that time. I got another opportunity to pass by that place but couldn’t meet him.
6. Sun is shining and cotton clouds are playing in the mild wind. I didn’t take a taxi today. It took me only 27 minutes to reach here which was less than usual. I live in strange spacetime. None of the experiments have monetary value and yet they are valuable in the long run. I manage to live on day-to-day basis.
7. Filled two buckets of water. It involves mounting those buckets on a bicycle with the help of two iron hooks, going to a well, switching on the pump: though there’s no switch and they use jumpers for using switch might make it would be wasted too soon. Then : I come back, put some water into a steel tank which recently got a plastic tap fixed into it.
Image credit: Self
Courtesy: Gandhi Smarak Nidhi Chhatarpur Madhya Pradesh
End of the day!
1. Plenty of vocabulary jams. My ID is 01. I invite you to play with me on vocabulary.com.
2. Kavitha J and Paul H scored well today on most of the jams.
3. I attended a birthday party, registered some books in library, emptied dustbin ash, helped in cowshed, wrote couple of blog posts, clicked some pictures, filled water and sat down for a while.
Marooned means stranded, Raqib means all people, Aditi means dancing light of grace!
1. He hugged me for the second time in the fortnight. It means our relationship is improving. The last time he shared a Kit-Kat which brought memories of days when I used to share them with my batchmates in Chennai. It was Ashvini Dang who asked me to bring those to class. He was naturally a leader and played games with Sethu during first group induction. Richa used to call him ‘mand-buddhi’ but he was a jolly good fellow full of energy. He was lurking outside the Sri Aurobindo Samadhi because i was waiting for Ravneet. He made a comment on spot about my being obscene because he was into her by virtue of being Punjabi. Everyone was into her, Punjabi or non Punjabi.
2. His hug reminded me of Munna-Bhai. Because a call came. It seemed i got lucky. It seemed like most genuine among all people. One Arpit Gupta from Surat, Gujarat. Born in Rohtak Haryana. Makes 100 times more than me. Mota bhaai. I had attended a webinar on Data Analytics by Coding Invaders. What a name for a company. Killers. Spartans. I didn’t recall Alex. It seemed they were joking. One guy was lurking in the dark and it seemed he was mocking my video that i had shared with Sandra once. I asked a question about data-wrangling to Yulia Lund who was answering questions. She answered a bit late. After asking it thrice. Meanwhile, someone commented on my ‘professionalism,’ I took that much and launched myself into writing a Tohu verse.
3. Arpit Gupta didn’t recall any Yulia Lund but Alex. I was surprised. He reminds me of my batchmate who once in an auto taxi commented after seeing a fair girl who had only interacted with him once or twice: ” I am going to marry her,” and he married her to my surprise later on! He was from Raisen whereas Pooja was from Maharashtra.
4. He makes 100 times more than I do and says he’s looking to work with me long term. He’s a freelancer and also works for Coding Invaders. What kind of name is that. No, really?
5. I asked him if there was an agenda behind it. He said no. I really don’t know because I haven’t been this fortunate since 2012 to receive a good job offer.
6. The guy who hugged me was blinking his right eye like Ramsharan Patel who closed it while answering my questions as he sat taking his lunch. Vishaal was the name of young kid and now he said his name is Vicky. Strange indeed.
7. The guy who hugged me saves 8K per month. Among four of us he was mota bhai. I told him that. My rank was third. Despite my crystalline intelligence and verbal acumen. I have given him English coaching and yet he was fortunate enough to be at the right place at the right time to make that kind of handsome income.
8. I walked about 1 hour 45 minutes and played at least 8 jams. I got second rank many times but not first rank. PC played too good. One Alex was also there. I was surprised because Arpit talked about one Alex who was there in the seminar. When Arpit called me regarding feedback I was in the middle of scrapping grass.
9. Truth realm universe is easy to enter into. Difficult to stay in. I was shown liquor bottles some days ago. Later they said madamouiselle uses them to keep seeds. Tez etcetera used to consume liquor it seems. People who work hard in Gaushala need that to relax. A similar setting was in place in Gyaan Gudri Jagannath Ghat premise for people who worked in Gaushala. Another scene- i find a liquor bottle under almirah number one clockwise or thirteenth counter clockwise. Is it a conceit or a remnant of an event. I have no clue.
Resonance and Sonorous Son!
1. I had a very subtle inkling of what was happening when I used to go to see ranking boards. It was a rare thing to get qualified for Resonance coaching institute in Kota, Rajasthan. The first systematic sacrifice, the first awakening, the first realization, the very first systematic invention of rhythmic breathing, reading Osho because the usual acharya wasn’t available. It looks like it was many centuries ago. The whole gamut included: Raj Bapna. Dr. Win Wenger. Richard Bandler. Uncle who sold his blood to complete his college (words borrowed from old sibling) . Bansal. The Great American dream. Astrologers in my neighborhood and family. Uncles who bet on me. Etcetera. One Usha Shukla’s husband had daring to think that my losing weight was result of being in a bad company. Another good jolt was given by one mister Khare who is still not worth being talked about. Another friend who was cunning, calculative and had his father in bank : he was a miser and kept his appetite in check so that later he might buy some toys for his kids to be and show them off on Facebook. I heard from him only once or twice until he had things to show off. The nightmare I had: the Vaitaal being played by Umang’s grandfather who had to become a great black hole later on. And my being unable to realize that my goblin father was eaten up way too earlier than I thought. I was an alien there and an alien here. An alien everywhere. Never enough smart, never enough wealthy, always in want. R3—R4—R5—R6—R7. What was happening? Bench to stool to tasting death. Why did that guy tell: ” I saw a dream that you died!” I later reflected on the event with the Hawaldar Murlidhar: I had indeed died. Perhaps he didn’t know it then. Maybe he did. It served as a great pointer to note that a new life began. I was creating rains without knowing it. And ironically: later I thought I needed to help people who had no rains or lack of them. How long it takes to grasp mystical from the viewpoint of human beings who reincarnate. It might be an hour or a minute for higher beings or nothing at all : from a standpoint where time doesn’t exist. Instead of reading “how to stop worrying and start living;” I should have been reading “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying”: if its purest version existed which had no emblems from Robert Thurman. That would have been more useful than Osho : his half baked versions of Buddhism. That would have been better than Rao sir’s repeated exhortation about IQ. If I didn’t have the intelligence quotient to get coached: I shouldn’t have been admitted. But they had a big business to run which was started by Nehru and English people. I was not given admission into the fourth class in the school because I only knew twenty something words because that was the range of vocabulary my household or orphanage had: Foster kids home : where they are beaten and systematically raped for trinkets. Until they develop the Stockholm syndrome. They haven’t known any better. Resonance: means living together of people in harmony.
2. It’s a light show here. I bowled 101 times. A few guys joined to practice and field. It was fun though I wondered if I needed to move over to another place. It’s as much of running as I would have done after many months. Old hard work comes like gift or wisdom recollection to help me. It was something similar then: a few jokes by school mates who couldn’t really develop as good a bowling action or speed as I did. For many years. But I forgot everything else in pursuit of superiority. The reason: genuine venom in their jokes. That I didn’t have a round arm action; that I was a chucker: in turn I poured the same venom in my blog article ” a generation of chuckers”: standard actions and what is considered good is set by civilization and zeitgeist and we hurry up to follow through. Until we get tired and retire to see others do that.
3. Son means ‘sound’ as a root form. If extrapolation was right: all goldsmiths should have sound health. No male pattern baldness or aging. The essence is created by the word. The greatest son of father means there is only one son who is the holy Spirit or Logos. He’s the Archon or One of the seven archons. Yesterday I read about Saturn eating up all its male children and Jupiter being saved by Juno in the Greek myth. Add ouroboros or draconid axis to that: the serpent forms a circle and only those who move out of the circle are spared their life. I really don’t want any children to read this as it’s going to give them nightmares but perhaps Jai knows more than this already. My father’s aunt who was one of many tenants used to tell these stories. In some ways: she was more kind than the actual investors. Or it seems from a distance. Like those teachers who created some fond memories: some moments where I felt that I was special or deserving: not realizing the gravity of things to follow: perhaps nobody does that.
4. A written record by Vallalar in the year 2020 was better than a promise made by the teacher who initiated me in 2014. It might be that both were false promises : but the adept status was not claimed by anyone else in such a way after him. And if there is Truth in anything : his must be the final or best to be on the public record without having been suppressed. Lack of popularity can easily be understood by the argument given in favor of beings like Buddha and Gandhi: that they were emanation bodies of a Truth body which had already attained perfection in some other dimensions. Icons for “lokasangraha.” That stands true for all celebrities and if I see bazillion people ahead of me in queue to attain perfect liberation: the tall claims of Vallalar fall flat. It can’t be time or gaining merits via charity. It’s the conclusion I reached via gnosis in 2007. I found that making lists was like using needle in place of sword. It was a puzzle posed by the person who took me to get initiated by the Surati Sabd Yoga master. I couldn’t fathom the mandala scheme for many years until the parallel universes and time travel was understood clearly. I can say: I have a firm unshakable understanding of those two with actual memories of having travelled in time as well as memories being overwritten multiple times. But: I still don’t have a machine which would immediately take me to an old age or a future one. There are barriers which need immense reservoirs of energy to be done away with completely. There are factions: countless: trying to do the same thing. The great time still remains a challenge. Completely timeless beings haven’t met me as friends. People who have no pride for being immortal, young, immune to decay, aging or death(fear). I am waiting. To see beings with countless heads and hands. Giant snakes. Etcetera.
Dancing light of grace 