humour – Dancing light of grace

Posted on April 10, 2022April 11, 2022 by dancinglightofgrace

Why Maroon Pant is Fast Asleep in the Flash Fiction?

1. I don’t like stediam.

2. Gold medelist.

3. Jyfçotidip mention.

1. It’s 12:52 PM 10.04.2022, Sunday, in Chhatarpur, Madhya Pradesh, India, inside Pundit Baburam Chaturvedi Stadium. I am sitting under a banyan tree. It reminds me of Gandhi’s fondness for Ruskin Bond’s Unto This Last.

2. I had a chapter in my class 11th text book. The chapter was called:

“The Banyan Tree.”

Or was it

“The Old Banyan Tree?”

I don’t remember. S. S. Khare used to describe passages to us and he used to take long breaks to exalt a mechanic who was a driver in comparison to a driver who had to take his bike to a mechanic too frequently. Agrawal was surname of his favorite student and he used to repeat ‘samjhe?’ in his mouth as an automatic reminder. Strange as it seemed, I gained a greater understanding of his imports for chapters like Reuters and Banyan Tree. He was all for practice. Practice makes a man perfect and perfection can be perfected by further practice.

3. I recently saw many leaves falling from this tree. Yellow. Ripened. Hot wind is blowing. Headline in Dainik Bhaskar Reads :

Game over for Imran Khan.
-Dainik Bhaskar, 10-04-2022

4. Fuel prices are soaring. CK told me that petrol costs 119 rupees per litre.

5. I had a lassi at Chai Vibhaag.

6. Lassi was worth twenty rupees. White bread was worth twenty rupees. CK bought a tea for me. We shared bread with each other. We played the game of scramble. It took us two minutes each to score. Two minutes to evaluate. Two minutes to set up and two minutes to conclude. A total of ten minutes. How much did we both score? My score was thirteen points higher than his score. He teaches mathematics to primary school kids. I teach English to all people I meet, unless they want me to teach them something else.

7. I need to update the article on Chai Vibhaag in Google maps. Their timings might adjust to evening-night pattern. April fool and scorching tropic of Aries. Sun and the North node enter the dragon.

8. Music is a big factor which creates environment. I got to hear some of my favorite songs in my personalized Spotify Jukebox today at Chai Vibhag as I connected my smartphone via bluetooth connect. Tenet soundtrack. Travis Scott. Ludwig Goransson. 2020. Then I heard some of CK’s favourites. He prefers Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber and Bhojpuri songs.

9. What’s with bets?

10. Legal betting odds and evens out and out innards ardent dentistry trysts tsimsum. Summer wine by Lana del Rey. What’s it with ten to the power ten? What’s with cursed lands to be bought in the next year and half which would, by some unseen cosmic powerful beings serve as graceful ambrosia producing wealthy thymus nustard oil? Loincloth. Yes oaths are meant to be for ants. Who cares about care English vocabulary?

11. Here it gets murkier: I heard a news: 12 galaxies spotted together in the sky in some observatory. Virgo supercluster being eaten up by some galactic tic tac toeuvrevenantennamesakeitloafern.

12. Lewis Carroll’s Curiouser and curiouser:

Becomes:

13. Ophelia’s Siriuser and Siriuser. Abcederian. Ian. Anemone. Prandial. Dialtone. Tonesure. Sureshot. Hotpot. Potpourri. Rialta. Altar. Area.

14. I scored 100 on UNWFP Free Rice app. It can be downloaded from Google Play store.

15. What does RFS mean?

16. Sometimes it seems: I ask more questions than I answer. Sometimes. At others i try to imitate Einstein. I try to spell. I try to ascertain the nature of problem before coming up with the answers.

17. I briefly tried to solve paradoxes posed in H. C. Verma’s textbook for CBSE class 11th. Another physics lecturer has a nameplate which reads:

Gold medelist.

18. Why piglets can’t rest under this banyan tree this afternoon? Why does this land burn so much? Why did that gold medelist boy wear maroon pant on the day he was supposed to wear white?

19. I don’t have all the answers. But his pant was short. The bearded guy was named Joseph Garvashish.

20. Joseph is not my cup of tea. Garvashish is an amalgamation of Garv and Ashish. Garv stands for pride and Ashish for grace. That guy was general manager of the high school at that time. We used to call him Father.

21. Almost all my friends remember being called out of classroom once in a while in the office of Maria Mata Convent High School which was run by sisters of Nazareth then. We were spoken key words in our ears: silently: “Faffa se bolo ki fees jamaa kare.”

22. Faffaa was busy playing cards or ludo or chitfund or whatever the heck you want to call gambling and alcoholism. Not to mention: gold medel faded like mendelieves (believe it or not Ripley or not!) Periodic Emily Dickinson fashion.

23. It gets even murkier and ends up in business as usual. Hollywood. Bollywood. Matrix grade 1992, 1999, 2000, 2014, 2021. Truman Show is the easiest way out of it!

24. The guy in white pants was a son of an engineer in public health engineering. He recently departed(ode to Leonardo DiCaprio/Matt Damon/Anthony Hopkins/Mark Wahlberg starrer movie which highlighted police procedural in dark knight fashion in contrast with Akira Kurosava’s police procedural in High and Low. Which one do you like and why? Let me know in comments. Or watch Parvarish in which Shammi Kapoor nourishes Amitabha and Vinod. Yes, heroes not characters. Stranger than fiction is reality.

25. Mazhar met me yesterday with Suresh who didn’t tell me about his last name. My doggedness with badminton hall in Baburam Chaturvedi Stadium Chhatarpur Madhya Pradesh India Area 51 being obvious raised some eyebrows:

A. What’s with your financial condition?

B. What’s with your bag?

C. Why do you play loud music?

D. Why do you stand in that corner?

E. Why do you watch us play?

F. Can you sit down there so that I may hear walkie-talkie and continue to play badminton?

Mazhar is a constable in superintendent’s office. Suresh looks like he’s a sibling of Sumit Upadhyaya, who’s a poster boy and a badminton player.

Mazhar invited me to his office and I felt like being interrogated. Why not his living space? Why not a tea stall? Why superintendent’s office?

I told him about despicable state of badminton hall as well as Baburam Chaturvedi Stadium Chhatarpur when it comes to cleanliness.

26. A student scored highest marks in English. Forty nine out of fifty. I scored forty eight. I don’t know what was score of the guy who had white pant well pressed on the day picture was captured. His mother was furious when I went to his house with excitement and scores. Obviously : R or V should have gotten the first merit. Conspiracy begins.

27. Who reported you the news tells a lot about news provided you know how to read advertisement. An obvious allusion to Arthur Conan Doyle for my reading in detective fiction doesn’t exceed more than a whit of Sherlock Holmes Canon.

28. Antyodaya means “Raising the most downtrodden and outcast.” Deendayal Rasoi is a scheme which has supposedly fed 7600000 poor people in 58 cities:

The scheme is a superflop advertisement campaign like Swacchh Bhaarat Abhiyaan.

Look at this: after having experienced advocates of scheme and donators: I find it locked on occasion of festivals. Is a real charity supposed to be lock at any time?

Where does all the money go?

It goes to maintain gardens in collectorate.

It goes to create hoardings.

It goes to give mic to Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian and other propaganda creators like devotees of motherland, English, Hindi or style or big English vocabulary or Cricket or environment.

Consider last three events in this stadium where I am writing this brief essay on my own shortcomings. An admission of my lack of abundance.

29. Someone committed suicide in my neighborhood. The family is a family of jewellers. Suicides were regular. Sushant Singh Rajput committed suicide in the same year. Eleven people committed suicide together. A town inspector’s son used to play cricket with the guy in white pant. I used to play with the guy in the white pant. There was another guy who used to play cricket with us. He got another gold medal five years afterwards. But before that I broke the record of crossing fourth stage of eighth round of Super Mario Bros’: Nintendo games. I was thrilled to report that to all three of them. Our names began with V: twenty second letter of English alphabet.

30. Another town inspector’s son. A bridge. Jyotidip Mansion is written as Mention.

31. How much time it took you to read through this article? How much could you learn. How can I work on improving my physics, income and relevance to stay on course? The bet guy promised to produce evidence. Ten to the power of eighteen is just four less than what North node would continue to indicate for next year and half as per the sidereal zodiac. What’s your age? You’re probably young and feel immortal! Have you watched SciFi movies like In time(2011), Tenet(2020), Inland Empire (2006;) and Richard Linklater’s Waking Life?

32. Bonus:

Are you interested in nails?

Raw?

My economic status?

Are all people working in April, May, June, July and August fools according to British Empire?

How did April Fool and Mayday came to be?

Do let me know if you didn’t like my picture. Grimace. Pants. Sarcasm. Italian pasta or tie. Or the resolution of pictures.

Posted on February 13, 2022March 27, 2025 by dancinglightofgrace · 2 Comments

The Trip to Chita!

1. Articles 13 and 14 of constitution of India. Equality before law and exemption from certain laws in special cases(ex: article 31)

2. I went on a trip. The plan was to watch a football match in the local stadium. A tournament. Something else happened. There were some kids in the nets. There used to be a cricket academy couple of years ago which is not extant anymore.

3. I picked up my grains and started walking towards the next destination. The Railway station.

4. I met a neighborhood friend on my way who was heading towards a medical agency.

5. I promised to meet him later as he had offered me a lift for 30 meters. Strange; isn’t it? I intended to walk many kilometres but mere two blocks needed to be crossed-over via a lift. It’s strange indeed.

6. I heard a call from behind : “Anand.”

7. Pandit Goswami measures Paras Garments from ward no. 9 called out my name. I turned back, greeted him and asked if he had a Jockey underwear at his shop, to which he replied: “no, but we do have isha underwear.” I emphasized importance of getting the specific item I intended to buy. Then we exchanged our whereabouts.

8. I met the neighborhood friend on aforementioned medical shop as promised. He was buying medicines for his mother.

9. He has returned after taking an examination in Bhopal. He’s an aspirant for IES. Another exam to take next week. He broke the news of his elder cousin clearing first phase of screening test in a company.

10. I spoke to him about my new Pytm account. We scheduled a meeting for this evening. I counselled him to take it easy as two exams within a fortnight is not an easy affair. The meeting began after some delay as he had some other tasks to attend.

11. I bought a Chutki pouch for five rupees near Chandrashekhar Azad Square. It was the old icecream seller. Sahuji Barafwaale from old new panna naka. The bus stand for Panna has had way too many variations: what was is was is merry-go-round. A hodgepodge. A medley. A maze. A deja vu. A strange verisimilitude of etude. It’s a mixture of cardamom, catzu, betel nut, flavored natural substances. Mint. It is used as a mouth freshner. Not for minors.

12. I had a cup of tea outside the Chaay railway station. A cutting chai. It was worth five rupees. Pleasant in taste. Entered the premise with caution. Observed recent developments, cleanliness. Arrangements in the waiting rooms. Water is available, cleanliness is above average. Schedule for trains is clearly available at the tickets window. A lot of ongoing development. I kept walking besides the railway tracks. Took some pictures:

TimeStamp: 04:00 AM 14.2.2022. Revised and edited. Delhi. 2846 characters. Before someone claims a copyright violation: term ‘bareeb’ is a Homonym of Gareeb(transliteration for word Hindi word for noun ‘poor’) picked right off from Carry is live YouTube show. Only in tags. Accredited. As a void.

Posted on January 4, 2021 by dancinglightofgrace

Language Log! Pronouns.

1. I asked her to wish them.

2. She asked him to wish them.

3. He asked him to convey the message.

4. Three different days, three different scenarios, three different messages. One witness, one initiator, one recorder, one order.

Posted on December 16, 2020December 17, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace · 4 Comments

For a few rupees more!

1. I asked her if she needed my services in the month of December-January. She asked her daughter who told her that she would continue to take classes.

2. Then she told me she needed my services until her exams are over: that’s until March.

3. This conversation took place yesterday afternoon inside library of Gandhi Smarak Bhavan at about two o’ clock. There were only three of us.

4. It was second such conversation after our conversation under banyan tree. Since then: i have taught her some 400 words, played at least 20 games on Free Rice site with her to help her augment her vocabulary. Also helped her learn creation of Vocabulary jams on vocabulary.com

I helped her learn doing diary entries but she refused to do them : like she refused to write verses or reports. An assignment to compare Meera/Arukka Mahadevi/Andal was given. It was from her book and she didn’t do it repeatedly for at least five days until i helped her with it in class. It was easy to do. She is smarter than other students i have taught so far but not anywhere near what my ‘ideal’ student would be like.

Her mother overlooks my reports about her not working enough on assignments. But when i am questioned for teaching her words in the most scientific way: she begins arguing and questions my integrity.

5. The last time around i was helping her with the vocabulary jams on vocabulary.com : a notification from her school comes on Whatsapp.

“You need to attend a test.”

6. Her school, her parents and others don’t have a sense of schedule or time when it comes to learning. I have to ask her three questions everyday:

A. Do you want to take class today?

B. Did you do your homework?

C. What do you mean by 5 minutes? Would you come for class at the appointed time which keeps changing at your convenience? It’s usually 20 to 30 minutes delay everyday.

7. They take the teacher for granted because there’s the teacher: punctual and always available. Selling himself short. Content.

8. All that for a mere 1000 rupees!

Image credit: Self, inside Gandhi Smarak Bhavan.

Posted on November 6, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace

Updates! AKA Decipher!

1. The H was for helipad. PWD people made it. Suyash wanted to know if he could come back to stadium to play Cricket. Kids are already playing.

2. The booth is not to mimick the movie “Phone Booth,” it’s a latrine. A toilet. A defectation room. I came to learn about it only when I opened it yesterday.

3. When I realized that it was a toilet seat and not a polling booth or phone booth: I realised: sometimes my IQ tends to zero.