1. A jeep with ‘revenue’ written on it passes by. Just outside the Hargovind Hemal Park. A man on bicycle spits. I realize that the definition of the word revenue that i told her might be wrong.

2. I have corrected myself umpteen number of times. It’s good that she asked me the meaning of a word. We could actually have looked it up online.

3. Should I feel ashamed that I don’t know the meaning of a word? No.

( edit: my definition of word was correct. I was not sure of it because of lack of interest. 4.12.2020)

4. Should I be made to feel ashamed that I don’t know the meaning of a word the night after I played 20 vocabulary jams? No.

5. Who put her to ask me the meaning of a word? The details are important. If she knew that I was wrong she should have told me then and there.

6. If she was innocently sincere: who tapped into our class or got in touch with her and later organized it so that I would be given a lesson with a spitting guy and a revenue jeep? It’s this monitoring that matters more than the lesson for a simple reason:

7. Consider this family. They can’t give me bare minimum to survive. It has been more than 8 years. The employers start looking sideways when asked for money. Five rupees per hour. Slave for a month merely to get an internet recharge. They don’t have any money to help me buy a pair of slippers or a new dress or a decent meal.

8. They have plenty of money to look down upon me. To teach me the meaning of a word they employ a group of people who drive a vehicle through a certain spot and spit to prove a point.

9. I asked Anmol Khare the meaning of ‘panache’ and ‘denunciation’ in academy ground. The next day i am taught the meaning of word revenue by a crooked method: first the student pretends to be innocent or is put to the task of asking a question. Later a jeep appears with ‘revenue’ plate on it. A bicycle is employed to spit.

10. To perform that revenue act would at least cost 100 rupees worth of teaching. Oil and coordination included. Similarly: Imran Akhtar Beg making a dashing entry just outside the Chhatrasal’s Horse as all autowallah give me way: to prove a point that it’s contacts and friends which let you pass: it would have taken at least 1000 rupees to perform.

11. The point is: if those 1100 rupees were given to me: I would have fed myself and bought things necessary for my day-to-day expenses. The coordination is wasted to monitor and control you by state, family and police.

12. I must be very important. A single tuition in three years of seeking and trying to work which pays 1000 rupees. And that’s also used to monitor my ideas and discussion instead of letting me do as I please and deem fit. I haven’t seen a more pathetic monitoring and governance than this ever before in my life. This is merely being afraid of an individual. A whole lot of people working together to suppress freedom of one. This is what society and culture is about. So much for Adinath motors. So much for Shri and so much for Gandhi Smarak Bhavan and so much for that Revenue jeep and so much for monitoring me.

13. USA spends 30000 dollars: that’s 15 lakh rupees per year or more than 1 lakh rupees per month on its prisoners. Here you can create random laws and imaginary diseases to feed medical industry and mask makers and make people prisoners in their homes by not letting them be gainfully employed. The whole system works to keep in place those who walk with a straight spinal chord. This is the Gandhian Way. This is the religious way. This is the state of modern education and training. This is the state of society. Just spend thousand rupees per month to keep one employed and spend thousands of rupees in monitoring and teaching lessons. If I had a choice: I would never have been born in this place and time. If I really had a choice: I would have disappeared. There’s no sense in wasting your time, money and energy in monitoring and governing me.

14. Ghanshi: the homeless woman has been sitting outside this house. Has anyone from Pradhanmantri Aawas Yojna taken care of her? Why not to send her to an old age home or a mental institution? What purpose does she serve-especially outside this house? I must have talked about her at least thrice on this blog. The last time I did that : she pretended to sweep the floor outside neighbor’s house. That’s it! The whole world to monitor me but none of them to ensure that homeless get shelter in appropriate places or get proper medical care. Why do you waste resources like water outside Narasimha temple?

15. It would merely have been a looking up of word on Google with her. It would have been enough. But you needed an elaborate charade. A wasting of resources. What a pathetic way of using youngsters, resources and money. This is the contemporary society. Encroachment of land and hardly any space to walk. Population explosion and wasting of resources to deliver lessons to an individual who doesn’t belong to any factions.