She wanted to give you her everything. All you asked was for her contact number. You gave her up. And you have forgotten about the words of wisdom. I am sure you are doing well and you will find out more information about this…… wrote Wendy in a letter one morning. And get the number of some good company for your friend. Endemic mixed with a friend who was born on July the 13. I know that if you want to find out more information about this….. And when the door opens, there is another room behind Hindsight Hindu Kush cushion ion on onions. I can only offer you a feeling of melancholy, which you have lost and you are never going to get back.
I woke up with wonderful dark clouds all around. Birds are chirping around me. Some of them are heading to their offices. All plants and trees look green and fresh. Air is cool with water sprinkler as I walk on roof clicking pictures. I kept thinking about you. I feel your absence from the back of my heart. I was wondering if there was any compulsion which made you respond to every single call. I guess I’ll have to reach out and touch you. You move my heart. Too profound to describe it. It’s like this most comfortable presence: all doubts and seeking is lost in it. I find myself at home. Beyond worries. Beyond holding.
When I met him I saw a bearded guy in his Forties or fifties and later I was told that he is a retired engineer from Indian Railways I did find him to be knowledgeable person as you have told and I interacted with him in a few meetings when we were in the lockdown situation especially came to Gandhi Ashrama to meet him and we discussed many things including singularity black holes identities and the creation of our past present and future since you were present in that prayer meeting where I participated for the first and the last time this season you remember that I asked him a question about fearlessness one of the mahavratas propounded by Gandhi and I was asked to wait later on when he replied I did not feel content with his response and during the the play full Chat after the meeting I told that he was not balanced on the side of listening because he had upgraded retire of knowledge he was looking for an audience only I did you feel even during my meetings with him he was not a patient listener at all he always wanted to speak speak and speak as if he came here to create some kind of cult or a religion or a group in which he wanted to take the position of a leader this is what I felt about him it might be so or might not be so despite that since there were very few people who were willing to engage in a discussion with me at the time of the lock down I found him to be a very nice company we went on a brief trip to visit the Mahavira Temple as well as that Hanuman toria temple and id3 spend some time together to know ourselves better I do feel that the impression he left on me was that of a knowledgeable person who was somewhat of sceptic and sometimes he did say a few words in just which were the two leftist where he should have a exercise caution of speech this is what I felt about it so I think this is it and I would end this post here with his memory and I do remember that when I try to engage him in the conversation the last 2 days he was not willing to do so he was reluctant you told me that he was not feeling well so on account of that maybe but later on in the farewell he was interacting with everyone so I don’t know what The Grudge with me was in particular he had a pain in ears baby but I tend to overlook these things therefore I am not working on it on the whole he is a nice guy I hope wherever he is he is feeling well and I hope he visits again and I get to meet him again.
1. The waning Moon is the object of the barking dog. Wind is soothing and I wonder if I should call it breeze. As I walk it sussurates into my right ear.
2. The block system of WordPress app indicates that they consider the work to be an architectural design.
3. The Anuradha Moon has its head slightly tilted to the right. Mosquitoes want me to listen to their song in exchange for a few drops of blood, which isn’t too costly as all neighborhood seems to be asleep. In my childhood I used to wonder if mosquitoes existed in the times of Rama or Narada. Scriptures do tell about them.
4. Heavy vehicles keep passing. Singular larkspur landing. Dingdong singsongs of Singapore porous porcelain ain’t so cute more morel more losel selling lingas gastric tricks Asterix Chicago Goa goatee teetotalers Erny.
5. Within a few minutes I observe clouds near Big Dipper:
Hazy Big Dipper
6. Now the Southern dog is resting and Eastern is speaking to North Eastern. The haze is topos. A crane speaks briefly flying about sixty nine degrees before going mum. Mummers and miss summers have gone into the mercurial victory palace and lace ruffle ace the case as I hear crickets chirping.
7. They keep asking me: what am I about? What do I write about?
8. The cloud farming gives no returns.
9. Neither does the cloud computing. Tingling lingas mingling jingling blingbotsslingshotspotsupshots. I need to use smartphone cache to keep some aches at bay time to time.
10. Reading newspaper to Grandma was necessary to keep their demons at bay. By the end she started dozing off.
11. I recall lyrics of a Hindi song which sayeth: my friend Mumbaikar is visiting me: salutations to him. Let’s eat and drink in the night and rest during the day. In GK booklets I used to read that there were no mosquitoes in France. I hear sirens. I also read that there newspaper was printed on paper.
12. Now dogs in the South East are in a melee. A truck passes by on highway. I can hear sounds in 2 kilometres range now. Crickets chirping. Ft t s.
1. Dravidam means dravya or money. Mother was singing this song:
” You’re my mother, father and brother, sister and friend. You are my art, wealth(Dravidiam.) You, oh, divine one art my everything.”
Translated from Sanskrit.
2. Dravid country thus meant wealthy state of Tamil nadu in Bhagvat Puran.
3. IT revolution began in southern states and I lived in Chennai for 3.5 months before February 2010. I visited Mahabalipuram and Pondicherry with colleagues. I found Kannadigas to be sweeter than Tamilan people. I’d have learnt the languages Tamil and Telugu as well as Kannada if I was looking to settle over there. They found me lifeless and I found them full of pride. I never appreciated northern people spitting in public or population explosion creating burden on rich states of Southern India. On the same hand I found southern people especially Chennai citizens to be extremely unwelcoming of a northern guy who was bound by life path to follow a difficult course. I never complained about not getting wheat grains and enjoyed varieties of Dosa and rasam. How could I have found home there as I ever remained an alien in this place where everyone spoke Hindi. The blue water of beach in Mahabalipuram remains one of my sweetest memories and the drive up and down the hill on Thirupathi thanks to a rich friend who could drive. They are distant memories now. Up the Thirupathi I couldn’t understand what the fuss was about. Yet I saw a fresh biosphere better than the rest and later a colleague named Giri used to remind me of the place being a resident of the township surrounding Thirupathi. Without any doubt: except Osho and Maharshi Mahesh Yogi, the spirituality of India after Bengali Renaissance was maintained by stalwarts Ramana Maharshi, Jiddu Krishnamurti, UG, Satya Sai, Muktan anda and Amma chi. They were no match to Ramalinga, Nayanars or Alvars. Chaitanya’s southern journey didn’t seem to have affected the southern mettle and ISXKON in Bangalore merely seems to be an advent of majority of Northern Indians living in the Bangalore. Thiruvalluvar”s attitude towards beggars would never approve of Buddha or Mahaveera. In that regard Kabir and Nanak agree with him. And yet Bodhidharma from Kerala became a messenger to China. He couldn’t stay put with Shaivism which had won over Jainism after a long battle. Neither could Ramalinga who declared that he had gone beyond both Siddhant and Vedant.
2. Akar means shape or to create a shape. Bramha or the creator God worshipped as supreme in the Abrahamic religions. All religions and cults emphasizing creativity would find people to be more neurotic because Adi Naadi or passionate mode of energy also known as rajas is operand. Ida or Surya Naadi. Left brain. Word. Logos. Right nostril. Right hand.
3. Ukar is balancing, protection and harmony providing God indicated by Satva or middle Naadi or Sushumna. Vishnu or Buddha or Vaasudev is worshipped by such religions. Saint Matt or gnosticism. Harmony between both hemispheres, ambidextrous disposition, the alternate nostril breathing, yin and yang. Love.
4. Makar: Capricorn is also known as Makar the crocodile. Right brain. Imagination. The religions worshipping moon or feminine deities have excess of aloofness in them for dissolution and recreation. Like Shaivism of Kashmir in India which actually considered feminine receptive or neutral Shiva to be the cosmic womb of mystery. Pingla Naadi.
My mother told me that early Tantric masters defined five makara as:
1. Maansa or Non-vegetarian food.
2. Madeira or wine.
3. Mainthuna or union.
4. Mudra or postures.
5. Mantra.
Some vajrayana and Mahayana practitioners retained some of them or considered only their inner aspects whereas gnosticism emphasizing on middle path completely focussed on Sushumna, Sukhmani or Sukhavayi the middle narrow path to the golden temple or Amritsar.
The moon shape in Omkar represents Pranav’s sound and dot represents Bindu or indestructible drop in which all such sounds merge in the end. Beyond which Niranjan or formless heavens start getting subtler.
Dancing light of grace 