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May you rest in peace

1. I had a nice meal and now feel comfortable under the blanket.

2. We enjoyed catching practice: Piyush and I. We practiced it 1008 times. It was the most significant event of the day.

3. Piyush arrived as gloaming light was filtered through clouds. I had bowled 45 times and I wanted to reach the figure of 60 balls or 10 overs.

4. We had chat and chaat together.

5. I showed him Jupiter, Moon and Pluto conjunction. His Pluto is located in the second house. Pluto is Yama. Coldest. Gajakeshari Yoga formed in the sign of Sagittarius. I told him how to navigate in sky and find planets with the help of any kundali software. After Jupiter enters its sign of debilitation soon: Mars would take over as Atmakaraka.

6. I showed him the graffiti which I posted earlier on blog.

7. We played vocabulary jam together: I got 421 ranks in three of them respectively.

8. I recalled a dream in which I saw Ashok Arjariya under a bridge or in a tunnel. That seems to have come across as a message as I was meditating this morning. I found Vimla, the name of his wife written on pillar. I also found Appi/Arpit written nearby. These messages were received in advance before I read graffiti. I asked about an unclear word in which ‘s’ wasn’t clearly written to a boy standing nearby.

9. For many years I kept seeing picture of Ashok Arjariya in grandmother’s house. He was in military and used to drink a lot.

10. In Kota a strange thing happened: he was driving and moving slightly ahead of the goals. Santosh was getting angry at him for he valued oil too much. At a dhaba they went ahead leaving us behind and brought liquor for consumption later on.

11. I kind of woke up in evening by a noise at door. Drunk Santosh was trying to enter the premise when a bunch of college kids stopped him. I told them that I knew him. Then I felt anxious beyond description.

12. Ashok had returned for Chhatarpur after their drunken brawl.

13. When I came for Diwali vacation I realized that he had died in an accident. It was strange.

14. I felt bad for him. I was told : he was driving a bike towards Khajuraho when a bus struck it.

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Accidents were all orchestrated!

1. If every passing stage seems like a world of possibilities: you have lived enough. I took picture of the Surya Namaskar postures as I was returning from library.

The 12th man

2. If you count from the left: it’s 6th. If you count from right it’s 7th.

3. Service is the only resolution: is the motto of the community which established this one. Under it: you have people marching behind Gandhi.

4. The 6th or 7th salutation is known as Sashtang dandavata or salutation with all eight limbs. What are they? Hands and feet: 4. Forehead, nose, stomach and the rest. There are three or them with “Namaskar” posture.

5. I used to do many such salutations in Vrindavan. I never felt scarcity of food in Vrindavan. I was given the job of a priest. I volunteered for food distribution and then cleansing of pots etc. There were days when we only had rice or slept hungry because some pilgrims came unannounced but it was rare and the management wasn’t good. It became so hectic as to not allow any time for study.

6. When I came here from Vrindavan: many false promises were made. Many crocodile tears were shed and then I was questioned by all and sundry who regularly visit Khajuraho to quit internet or porn. To not read books online. To give up luxuries which were only food. Food became scarce because fat pigs ate what didn’t belong to them. They used fake handicap certificates. I always had enough. Even my caution money of 30000 rupees was consumed. The 66000 were used up by thugs. I was pursued to stay by people who said: don’t let him go because there’s a case against him(Rahul). What case was that? They were acting on a script of revenge all along. They added one family first: then another to it.

7. I would have disappeared from this world if I could. That’s what my every ounce of energy was spent for. Is it really so with others? With moaning grandmother lying outside like a dead corpse? Does she want euthanasia?

8. I never felt scarcity of food until these people who promised it in 2014: blocked both: a way to escape: by snatching away documents as well as completely blocking the chances of any lucrative employment.

9. Who would give employment to a renunciate? Even if I was a normal man: it needed contacts. Prashant Gupta once said: if you need to teach kids I would send many. Instead : his sim card which was issued in the name of Saddam was used to monitor my web activity. That’s all Adhar card and other technology was for: to prevent you from jerking off and to force you into reproducing babies into a world where crops of hatred and factions are sown. Gandhi Maarg. Vivekananda Maarg. Bullshit Maarg. Go fuck yourself and yours.

10. Sister in law was not brought in this house for my comfort. My space was sacked. Same with Rahul. After using bike and laptop : they were unhappy if I needed a little privacy. Passout of 2013: he got no job. Fake handicap certificates. Satya Prakash should have been put behind bars a long ago along with his father. I was already suffering from cerebral palsy when I agreed for that. I didn’t use them. Then I escaped to save my life. They haunted me for long. Then they started taunting about food.

11. Fuck a woman or many if you can and have a job. In other words: take responsibility for rotting flesh and be doomed further while they laugh on top of pyramid.

12. What a world behind prayers and worship. What a rotten system! Kabir righteously called it the village of dead: murdo ka gaanv. Mohanjodaro. cremation ground.

13. The suggestion about Vimla was put prior to my mind before I entered stadium. Then I saw beatific vision. It had started to drizzle when I was about to step down after my morning breathing on roof.

14. Vimla was the name of Ashok Arjariya’s wife: a friend of Santosh. He was his friend for 30 years. He died dramatically in an accident while travelling towards Khajuraho. I was shocked when the news was given.

15. They both drank as they went to Kota with many of us: in 2003. On a dhaba we were waiting for them. They brought liquor. I suspected but by evening Santosh was so drunk it was impossible to control him unless Ram Prakash Shukla had intervened. He kept him company in the jeep whole night. The next morning there were flies on his mouth as he lay sleeping near a drainage line outside the building. All my pride was gone: the second or third dark night.

16. Like grim reapers: they kept coming back for more. Be it Rahul in 2016 or Gudda in 2012. I still don’t understand: how that accident near Vaibhav’s house happened. I was supposed to drive but he took the reigns and then some boys on bike came from left. My knee was hurt again. Ankur, Arvind uncle and Ankur’s grandfather stopped riding bikes because of such people. I was hit with bike on purpose in 2018 as I began visiting library.

17. Organized and orchestrated hurting of most harmless individuals. Because they’re not in any yaana system you call them Heena.

18. This indeed is a fucked up world.

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Vishnu Sahastranama!

1. As one Rama is equal to 1000 names of Vishnu. One Gandhi is equivalent to 1000 Ramas. By logic: a picture is worth thousand words.

2. One jnana siddhar like: Vallalar or Patanjali or Kabir or Aandal or Meera is worth 1000 gandhis.

3. One of the last verses by Vallalar in which he talked about his names: he told his names to be:

Narayana. Arukkar. Adept. Civan. Shakti Civan. Sadashiva. Natarajan. Buddha.

All names are his names.

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Shri Sampradaya!

1. Diwali is the festival of worship of goddess.

2. Ramanujacharya established Shri Sampradaya.

3. His guru asked him to keep the mantra secret. He went on top of the ashrama gate and loudly called one and all: giving them all the mantra.

4. This didn’t offend guru. It made him happier. Such was sage Ramananda. He opened his door for all. Such was Kabir. Such was Guru Nanak Dev.

5. Om Raan(anusvaar for Rahu: the dragon’s head) Ramaay namaha is the mantra.

6. I don’t know if Ramananda chanted the same mantra.

7. Kabir chanted Rama. Prahlad chanted Rama. Ramanand chanted Rama. Ramalinga chanted namahsivaay. Manikavacchagar chanted namahsivaay.

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Anniversary!

1. Lest I forget: this completes: 9 year anniversary of my article “How to hoodwink.” Article is extinct. Memories are not.

2. It ousted me from heaven made by Saurabh Vyas. He thought he made my career. Hamare saath rahoge to aise hi aish karoge. He and his good looking mom. Genteel lady. Upper middle class. Have right to hoodwink. Not keeping words. Not planning well.

3. Satya Prakash Shukla and company: kept pestering me until I wrote that article. Akhand Jyoti Shukla. Prabhat Chacha. Veerendra Yadav. Neeraj who watched porn in class. Poor communication skills. Hindi medium. Lower middle class.

4. And: Saurabh’s friend Siddharth Khare. Code Frux.

5. Anu Garg’s annagram server.

6. Rameshlal Bhatija’s house in Pie Layout. Bangalore. Karnataka. Om Shanti Shanti Shantih.

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The Cult of Dancinglightofgrace!

1. I met Suyash who is preparing for competitive exams. He said he would give feedback to my blog posts if I share the link to my blog. I told him to google dancinglightofgrace WordPress. You know: this is bound to be read by at least one person. You know where I wrote that word(feedback) recently in comments. You know…

2. He emphasized on my being late for walk. Dr. Juhi Published an article on CFS. Aditi published a verse on ocean. You know who used to publish every poem within five minutes?

3. I was given only rupee note printed in 2020 today. It was given by Purushottam: the Juice seller guy. I should have taken a photo. It’s the only current currency.

4. I jogged in stadium after walk. The measurements between goal posts: 130 steps approx. Between the pillars: 10 steps plus.

5. I played five vocabulary jams. I scored 43525 ranks when about 80, 60, 70 players participated in various games.

6. Momos guy told it would take 10 minutes to fry them. I had a cream roll. My cream roll had no connection to a bearded guy smoking and looking at the Gaya Prasad Singh entrance. I enjoyed the cream roll. You may bypass the additional information.

7. Only guy who spit clearly this evening was the host of a bunch of gossiping people. The family ration store owner: my answer is: udaar charitanaam tu vasudhaiv Kutumbakam. Sanskrit dictum.

8. It’s translated as: for noble people the entire world is one family. Rise beyond kith and kin. Hindu and Muslim. Indian and Chinese. Rise and attain the heights attained by Vallalar.

9. I read a book written by Tagore. It had couple of Ekankis. Ekanki means: with only one number. The first one had a masters in art. The second one had Dukhiram(Dhaniram) and Vaidya(Ramcharan). The illustrations are new. The kitten was being teased by kids. The second one had corona like scenario. It took us a little time to read that book. Shri brought that book to library from her home. I read couple more plays written by Bhaas: one was about Bheem winning over Ghatotkacha. The other one was named Pancharatra. I couldn’t finish any of them because they weren’t intriguing.

10. There were three dogs in the field. Sitting peacefully. Moon is in Moola quarter two. I played free rice.

11. I keep reading some questions put to Gandhi in interviews. One of them is about his being made dictator.

I don’t think that high. Dictators die a bad death. Always. Look at Saddam. Look at Gaddafi. Look at Hitler. Gandhi also had a violent death after a prolonged fasting in which he was among rioting people in Kolkata. Osho was poisoned. Socrates was poisoned. Poets die peacefully. Look at Vallalar. He didn’t die. I would love to vanish leaving a fragrance of camphor behind me. The gutta purcha in my teeth first needs to get converted into some other matter.

If I were to make a cult:

1. Walking 10000 steps. Everyday. Bowling: 10 overs everyday. At least 4 days every week. Drinking plenty of water.

2. Chanting 10000 names everyday. Or playing games like vocabulary jams or crosswords. Equivalent of 5 jams. Cult should be open to all adult members. If they’re masters: they can also be teenagers. Donating food to poor people or animals or insects via trustworthy media such as free rice. If you can’t donate food: give your time for charity.

3. Listening to inner music or music of spheres. Meditation on dancinglightofgrace. Composing verses to exalt it.

4. Being vegetarians unless it was absolutely necessary to eat meat in a climate where nothing else was available.

5. Not being fidel to husbands or wives.

6. Not being fidel to parents or siblings or sons or daughters.

7. Speaking only Truth. But not to hurt others. Only to serve justice or to teach. Writing only Truth. Not stealing unless it was absolutely necessary to feed hungry stomach or mind.

8. No interdiction on pornography. No ban on jerking off. No ban on sexual intercourse. If you can afford it: have it. By mutual agreement. Not producing offsprings by understanding that the living areas are already overpopulated.

9. Not being fidel to romantic partners. Not being fidel to causes in any absolute sense but being fidel to experiments.

10. Not doing unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.

11. Not speaking loudly. Not being fidel to posts like humanity or godliness.

12. Listening music only with earphones.

13. Meditation. Reading. Learning. Teaching. Exercise. Staying fit. Never going to doctors unless it was an emergency.

14. Never hurting others except by being silent. Not talking to others shouldn’t be taken as an offence.

15. Not giving unto fake religions or propaganda like corona.

16. Practicing breathing deep and mindfulness. Aspiring for nectar of immortality and Sanmaargam. The perfect understanding that you’re godhead as much as any other being or process is.

17. Mozart or instrumental music played as vehicle horns. On traffic signals. In schools. No verbal jargon.

18. Not producing offsprings. Not living in overpopulated areas. Everyone should have enough space where they can dance or sing or watch porn or themselves naked if necessary.

19. Being of help but not to thwart someone else’s progress. Never conspiring. Never joining groups like: Bajrang Dala, RSS, Bharat Swabhiman, Vishwa Hindu Parishad, ISIS, Jews, Christians, Atheists, Buddhism, Sikhism, Islam Humanity or Nagas. Or political parties like : Congress, BJP or Shivsena etc. Never voting.

20. Conversations should mostly be one-on-one. I would never be a leader. You see the cult and you move on as you know it’s same old same old.

21. Time travel is something worth being investigated. Like: leaving body at will.

22. Record your ideas. As often as you want to or need to. Even if nobody reads them.

23. Be fidel to yourself. Set your own goals and achieve them. Be a freelancer. Play your own games. Doubt : blue pill. Read. Trust: red pill. Experiment and learn.

24. Learn about darkness and light.

25. Know the light but hold onto darkness. Or know the darkness and hold onto the light.

26. Never take any life. Never kill any life forms unless your life is threatened. Even if you need to save yourself : try to escape. It’s your own life force that you weaken by killing a life form. Don’t take part in wars. Sports are best forms of channeling your anger and energy. Watch Grave of fireflies. Cry as often as you need to: even if you’re a male.

27. Eros and Thanos. Bal and Mot. Logos and Sophia. Husband and wife. Sister and brother. Darkness and light. Two friends. Two neighbors. Two enemies. Two languages. Two rivals. Two colors. Two fragrances. They’re worth being watched. Be a witness.

28. Be a witness to waking, sleeping and dreaming. Understand work, power and energy.

29. Live young, live free. Free from aging, decay, death and fear. Free from hunger and craving. Work for your own freedom and that of others.

30. None of what is present in my cult is new. Yet it’s fresh. You can’t bathe in the same river twice.

31. As of now: on 17112020: there are no members in my cult.

32. I am the only member of my cult. Cult can’t do anything illegal. Its members have to comply with the law of the lands they live in.

33. Death, sex and any other discussion isn’t taboo in my cult. But watch out for practice. You need to please kabbalists to get published. Theirs is the easiest system(the man model: purush sukta) of understanding reality. It matches with Hinduism to a great extent. Trust numbers. They’re secular. Keep counting.

34. All life forms are interdependent. Read a lot. Read at least 10 books per month. If you can’t: listen 10 books per month. If you can’t: watch ten movies per month. If you can’t : be a Hellen Keller to world.

35. Jishnu G. Nair: in the hall facing South East: in Oriental Institute of Science and Technology Bhopal in 2005 in presence of Swati Chugh and Amrita Bajaj: upon being asked by her(Swati): about me: said that I would find a cult. That I would create a new Dharma or religion.

36. It has been 15 years. I didn’t create any new cult. Jishnu was wrong.

37. Jishnu was only child of his parents. Jishnu had good powers of imagination. He helped me with Engineering drawing. Originally from Kerala. Could speak Malyalam and English along with Hindi. The first thing Jishnu did after getting a job: he got married. He appeared busy if asked any philosophical questions.

38. Jishnu made a remark about Swati’s braces. I hope Swati is comfortable with her teeth and symmetry now. I was charismatic indeed. Good long term memory. Emerging hero of EC branch, genius, psycho, baba, etc etc.

39. Jishnu was proud and told me: you have a superiority complex. Jigyasu was far more positive in his attitude. Every time I expressed a worry he came up with a positive reply. A Gemini to my Saggitarius. An optimist to my brooding nature. The duo always spent time in computer lab. They must be making millions now. Geeks.

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Ghanshee is a Banshee!

1. Only for ledies. Kariyen yog Rahiyen Nirog.

2. Ladies. E.

3. Banshee. Extra e. Ban she.

Gaelic death spirit. Irish folklore.

4. Krishna plays the flute.

5. Ghanshee is the name of lady who has made her job to guard this house. Even in such cold weather.

I appealed the secret police. Kesariya squad. Kabbalists. Philanthropes to get her settled in an old age home. Nobody heard. Why?

Ghanshee is a Banshee!
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Whirlpool Cave and the Beetle’s Song!

1. A biker with “Jai maa Bhaanvari” passes by. It’s what they call as “whirlpool cave.”

2. Dhaniram spotted just outside Sulabh Complex with a yellow paper in his hand.

3. A tale about samosa:

They were practicing writing descriptive paragraphs. Based on the samples given the teacher asks her to write one about herself. She writes. A few words. Not enough. He then asks her to tell about her skills. She begins with languages she can speak. Then her ability to dance and sketch are brought into light by the teacher. It was near the aquarium painting on wall where he told her about deja vus he had. The very next day she had a fever upon her. The turmeric kadha. He told her in the end to write about her ability to cook and also told about his own abilities. He asked her if she could cook samose. Her answer was in negative.

The very next day as he went to teach: the mother greeted him with a strange appearance. Asked him to make the student sit for an hour even as it was Diwali. They offered him mooli as they were eating it. He politely refused because he had had breakfast just a while ago. She startled him only to tell him about not attending the class. It was Diwali day after all.

A few days ago: when he had received his payment : he asked about the crops in the field. The secretary told him that they were kharif crops.

That day she offered him to take some spinach to which he refused as it merely added to more expectations. Everything has to be paid one way or the other.

After spinach and mooli: as the guy who wanted to donate clothes, a twelfth class student, was taken to her by the tutor: he was again offered samosa that they brought for breakfast. Occassions matter?

He didn’t have samose by Asatiji. Everything has a reason. He didn’t eat kheer at home. It seemed that Asatiji wanted him to eat them. But it was only with Vaibhav that he enjoyed them. Then something happened and they appealed him no more, though he ate them sometimes when hungry. When he had to dance because of the stipulation created by Shri as he carelessly called her by her given name: he was force fed bananas.

Kela uncle. Little pittle. Rumpledstiltedskin. Kinnardoldrumlautarkrakenophibeliskilletiologyrationoisomesugasconade.

Today: Asatiji was standing near him as he played vocabulary quiz. It was the same reflex. Then he saw a guy taking samose at the usual poha thela. He wanted samose for a change on impulse. The poha guy suggested him to have poha instead because he wanted to tell him that he would be charged only ten rupees.

If he hadn’t inquired about his daughter’s tuition fee: the cardboard with price tags for poha wouldn’t have appeared.

If I had marijuana regularly: the story would have been richer. But that was only for thugs. Same with alcohol. Even my breakfast was questionable. Purushottam said something. The man reading newspaper asked about the price of the juice. The lawyer who had insulted me on that shop was again walking with a farmer like pagdi on head. He was there last evening as well. Deri road. Late road. The guy who came to play cricket with him in Shatabdi: a guy with dirty teeth like his. Though he ate no gutka. The bus going to Seedhi had Samaya Shatabdi written on it. The labour inspector examination. He had scored 130. He saw his aunt’s husband in dream. He said he was coming for rescue! Ah deliverance!

Who connects the dots but the creator! Satna was a pain but Seedhi was all temples painted with snakes. It seemed whole lots of nagas attacked him together. He had some samose to eat then he had dysentery. That was one of the most difficult of passages. He recalled the govindpur valley: a majestic beauty. A jeep with Bundela written was spotted outside the stadium as he entered. Who connects the dots but creator.

If the poha guy directed him away from samosa: the uncle of the kid offered him samosa: then it clicked.

It was orchestrated.

Samose were connecting thread. The class struggle.

Today he was again offered kaadha. He had suggested her to have some as a cure for cough.

A boy in white was wearing jercy number 09. Void and Shri. Police. Police. Police.

Two of them walked and another was on a bike smiling : he wore the cap similar to the one worn by the dermatologist.

I wanted to teach her Mudralankar. I am the teacher. The tutor. The Sutra kaar.

Tiwari and company were not found inside stadium today. I played only one jam.

The story took contribution from: Gandhi Smarak Bhavan. Asatiji. Rohan’s uncle. Dolly’s father. Couple of college guys. My memories. And grace from dancinglightofgrace.

The story wouldn’t have been possible without that exercise in descriptive paragraphs. Descriptive is deshgat. Deshraag. Dependent on local conditions. Narrative is minimal.

That was initiated by the student. The class was initiated after an agreement under banyan tree. A tree under which a Shivalinga is worshipped. I once captured a picture and later I was abused. I once danced near it and later I was abused. I taught under it when Vidyasagar was residing in this township.

The class was initiated by Ankit. The class was initiated by me. Kirti madam appeared as soon as I began teaching. I didn’t know I was surrounded by so many high profile people. Not yet.

I asked her about the publishers. I wanted to initiate Shri, Ankit, Golu into kabbalistic mysteries. I felt she was telling only bit of it. Those people looked with surprise at me. Madam said her daughter would attend the class. She didn’t. Not on that day.

Who connects the dots?

Who creates the dots.

What comes out of it?

It takes communication, words and connected action to bring it about. A guy was donning a t-shirt with ‘freedom’ written on it. Another rode a hercules bicycle. Hercules might mean Sankarshana as per Pancharatra or Sisyphus as per the myth. It means purgatory. Rolling stones.