1. If every passing stage seems like a world of possibilities: you have lived enough. I took picture of the Surya Namaskar postures as I was returning from library.
2. If you count from the left: it’s 6th. If you count from right it’s 7th.
3. Service is the only resolution: is the motto of the community which established this one. Under it: you have people marching behind Gandhi.
4. The 6th or 7th salutation is known as Sashtang dandavata or salutation with all eight limbs. What are they? Hands and feet: 4. Forehead, nose, stomach and the rest. There are three or them with “Namaskar” posture.
5. I used to do many such salutations in Vrindavan. I never felt scarcity of food in Vrindavan. I was given the job of a priest. I volunteered for food distribution and then cleansing of pots etc. There were days when we only had rice or slept hungry because some pilgrims came unannounced but it was rare and the management wasn’t good. It became so hectic as to not allow any time for study.
6. When I came here from Vrindavan: many false promises were made. Many crocodile tears were shed and then I was questioned by all and sundry who regularly visit Khajuraho to quit internet or porn. To not read books online. To give up luxuries which were only food. Food became scarce because fat pigs ate what didn’t belong to them. They used fake handicap certificates. I always had enough. Even my caution money of 30000 rupees was consumed. The 66000 were used up by thugs. I was pursued to stay by people who said: don’t let him go because there’s a case against him(Rahul). What case was that? They were acting on a script of revenge all along. They added one family first: then another to it.
7. I would have disappeared from this world if I could. That’s what my every ounce of energy was spent for. Is it really so with others? With moaning grandmother lying outside like a dead corpse? Does she want euthanasia?
8. I never felt scarcity of food until these people who promised it in 2014: blocked both: a way to escape: by snatching away documents as well as completely blocking the chances of any lucrative employment.
9. Who would give employment to a renunciate? Even if I was a normal man: it needed contacts. Prashant Gupta once said: if you need to teach kids I would send many. Instead : his sim card which was issued in the name of Saddam was used to monitor my web activity. That’s all Adhar card and other technology was for: to prevent you from jerking off and to force you into reproducing babies into a world where crops of hatred and factions are sown. Gandhi Maarg. Vivekananda Maarg. Bullshit Maarg. Go fuck yourself and yours.
10. Sister in law was not brought in this house for my comfort. My space was sacked. Same with Rahul. After using bike and laptop : they were unhappy if I needed a little privacy. Passout of 2013: he got no job. Fake handicap certificates. Satya Prakash should have been put behind bars a long ago along with his father. I was already suffering from cerebral palsy when I agreed for that. I didn’t use them. Then I escaped to save my life. They haunted me for long. Then they started taunting about food.
11. Fuck a woman or many if you can and have a job. In other words: take responsibility for rotting flesh and be doomed further while they laugh on top of pyramid.
12. What a world behind prayers and worship. What a rotten system! Kabir righteously called it the village of dead: murdo ka gaanv. Mohanjodaro. cremation ground.
13. The suggestion about Vimla was put prior to my mind before I entered stadium. Then I saw beatific vision. It had started to drizzle when I was about to step down after my morning breathing on roof.
14. Vimla was the name of Ashok Arjariya’s wife: a friend of Santosh. He was his friend for 30 years. He died dramatically in an accident while travelling towards Khajuraho. I was shocked when the news was given.
15. They both drank as they went to Kota with many of us: in 2003. On a dhaba we were waiting for them. They brought liquor. I suspected but by evening Santosh was so drunk it was impossible to control him unless Ram Prakash Shukla had intervened. He kept him company in the jeep whole night. The next morning there were flies on his mouth as he lay sleeping near a drainage line outside the building. All my pride was gone: the second or third dark night.
16. Like grim reapers: they kept coming back for more. Be it Rahul in 2016 or Gudda in 2012. I still don’t understand: how that accident near Vaibhav’s house happened. I was supposed to drive but he took the reigns and then some boys on bike came from left. My knee was hurt again. Ankur, Arvind uncle and Ankur’s grandfather stopped riding bikes because of such people. I was hit with bike on purpose in 2018 as I began visiting library.
17. Organized and orchestrated hurting of most harmless individuals. Because they’re not in any yaana system you call them Heena.
18. This indeed is a fucked up world.