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I just raised 55000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps
1. It’s afterlife and yet it seems like previous life. Miranda was the keyword in my ears even before I had begun to watch the Black box: it’s one of the best science fiction movies. Thereafter I had a most stunning series of dreams. I still like to sleep and dream when music allows. As above so below.
2. The madman and other men were present on breakfast table. I had an additional samosa. It is a good thing that I have money to buy milk and tennis balls. I can practice balling, running, walking etcetera until it’s another lockdown. I am happy to have deciphered most of the mysteries of time but it’s like conches and grain particles beside the ethereal shrine of Bliss and gnosis. I look forward to day when I can afford all that I need to buy: immortality and fountain of youth are not among them.
1. All three of the boys who came from the underprivileged community, paid meager sum for labors, dropped today with about five hundred rupees still to be paid to me.
2. I couldn’t teach them even three complete lessons of the English Grammar with Holy Faith International reference book. They can neither write Hindi nor English. Besides: they created multifarious conflicts. Firstly: the student who joined first couldn’t learn words. Couldn’t continue to write in his notebook, the words which I taught him. Secondly: he let reluctantly join a boy from his neighborhood after him and what followed was a series of Shamanism events. Then: once he said: ” why are you turning away from women, have you kept roza(fast?)”
3. In red shirts, two of them didn’t recognize me near New colony. Before that the first one had disappeared after the Lolo drama by Vikram and company.
4. Were they merely playing the role in coherence movie simulation. As I asked him about the event later: he didn’t recall wearing such a shirt. The first one was most proud. He showed it the most the day when he was putting the tyre on the burnt coconut outside the door and refused to take the class. The second one wanted to practice but was consumed by something else or I misread him. The third one was brought by him but disappeared without paying fees when I was being killed by multiple hounds inside and outside house. Their joining and leaving my classes is made so comfortable because I don’t go back to ask questions. Like that neighborhood uncle who was promising a thirty thousand rupees batch with half of that for me and its code had some 100 rupees note. Rubbish as usual. Suckers attended the classes two three days without paying zilch for it. Feeding myself needs my merits and money but taking my energy and life force needs nothing: just come and show some teeth or false promises or start beating an autorickshaw driver with a swafi or was it Swati?
5. I bowled 40 times. Equivalent to 1000 steps of run. I walked a few rounds. This is all I am left with for Chandla uncle came sniffing my back here. He was wearing a cap.
6. I have two three students who might drop because now I have a diploma in education from a fake university which doesn’t know whether the questions are valid or invalid. What more do I need to say about the state of affairs?
7. My performance in vocabulary jam has been consistently top notch. This is the only contest where I feel comfortable.
I just raised 54000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps
1. The milk packet slipped out of my hands. Twenty rupees wasted.
2. I went to ask about another mantra writing booklet: the neighbor was taking his lunch. His mom was reluctant but I needed only a minute. I could have asked on WhatsApp but I think I needed to talk face to face.
3. I bought a white ball: I have four precious gems from the Vallalar. Now I need to buy a tennis ball which would let me practice running. Balling practice is one of the best ways to do short running spells without losing your breath. It doesn’t work in a Cricket match but if you can ball with a run-up against a wall: you can practice for many hours and sweat the flab out.
4. Today the academy team brought turf on the stadium ground. They wanted to practice on a bigger ground. Sun was shining brightly as I kept walking towards my work.
5. The timings for the college guy are always inconstant. The prime reason is: he wakes up late. I need to exercise more discipline. Economic consultation leads no where. People who don’t earn at least above poverty line income shouldn’t aspire to have a bank account or permanent account. Ironically: government is built up on showing charitable deeds done to people like these. People like me who were exploited by their own relatives in a most subtle way for many decades are not subject to any government benefits. Despite being well qualified to teach the subjects in which we have expertise we need to prove some other kind of expertise for feeding ourselves. To walk on a road, to have breakfast, to play in a ground, to work in a office, to watch movies, to enjoy yourself: you need six to seven different types of referral codes. It’s not enough to be a human being. It’s not enough to be yourself. I was the first one to get Aadhar linked to sim cards and all it did was to give them the right to spy. It doesn’t matter how much money is spent on espionage and weapons: the fees paid by students is always four hundred rupees. And it’s because they are also barely supporting themselves. Most of the tuitions I taught barely fetch enough to feed myself. This all when I was given a free pass by people around me to live as I pleased. Ghouls in the guise of human beings who lie through teeth. Who repeatedly sacrificed me. I was not allowed to leave. All students that came in the last few years wanted to dominate me. As if they knew better. Most of them could scarcely read or write but instead of relying on the basics they were hell bent on doing something else. The only school I took classes on could not pay me because it had strange condition of paying only via cheque. Here: day after day: the same things cost more. The samose on Gopal samosa agency besides court cost seven rupees per pair.
6. Generosity is considered to be foolishness. Rotten codes are repeated ad nauseum. Such is the law and Dharma. The time when I had work and income which was in the middle class : I longed for the carefree life like this because to be constantly worried about possessions is to not sleep soundly. Now: I think somehow magically I would learn materialization. I would not need to work hard to gain money. Even a smallest coin keeps your consciousness engaged. Those who possess vast amounts of wealth can’t really live carefree.
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1. This was a pleasant day. It might seem odd: as I have plenty of money to feed myself for next ten days: my students who once used to dominate me seem to have disappeared. Their reasons might have a basis in reality but all of them needed a place when I was weakest. Still waiting for recovery of all funds. Rupees hundred bonus.
2. Today’s game was top notch except a few shots hit on my loose balls. I didn’t expect this much of advancement but again: contacts have a tendency to proliferation : exponential like infamy. I was constantly worried about the safety of the smartphone because if it’s not there : music disappears and then I am again face to face with hounds who neither let you live nor let you die. Music was the greatest protection but in the innermost core such rotten fungus was found that I could never meditate for as long as it was needed. Such is the path of vegetarians. Path of people who have been conditioned to exercise purity of speech, conditioned to abstain from alcohol, drugs and meat. Conditioned to be original and studious. It’s a constant war and I haven’t seen the twilight zone bird since many days. I have reached some of the goals : like finishing the writing of the mantras in the first book(almost) and reaching 55000 grains(almost) on Free Rice, which amounts to one kilogram of rice donated on behalf of the United Nations World Food Programme Free Rice. On Vocabulary jam my performance has been improving but to gain the hall of fame like I did in the year 2017 is impossible because of the constraints. To be able to do any transactions online you either need good friends with bank accounts which means dependencies or PAN card which needs money. To be able to afford normal things would take at least ten years of systematic hard work whereas I don’t project more than ten days at once.
3. That police van isn’t back here means something. What it means is up to official interpreters for no matter what I assume : it would be contradicted: therefore I rely only on observations. There are no absolute authorities in rotary clubs. People who have enough money to spend can paste their banners on billboards. Today I saw one jeep which had “Bharat Sarkar” written on it. Usually it’s a designated driver as advertisement of government but today it was a vehicle with four or five people inside it.
4. Desires don’t know fulfilment. I am absolutely certain about it. Perhaps wish fulfilment happens in some heavenly dimensions where I have never been to. Here: stadium is available to me for a few hours of practice after a year without any guarantee. Same with the room I live in, the benches (dirty surroundings) I sit on. This is the civilization I lived in the last ten years. There is flux as Buddhism teaches about. It’s certain. The change is the only measurement of time. After having died and having become convinced of dreams and suggestions : though I need not be worried about what comes next : I still don’t know who really was an adept. Whether eight armed gods and goddesses and giant snakes in oceans exist or not. It’s a mystery.
5. It’s a good note. Waiting for the tenet.
I just raised 53000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps
1. Police van was absent from the stadium. I walked a few rounds and asked a man whether he practiced holding breath. He said he could hold it for a minute. He was practicing alternate nostril breathing on the Western side of pavilion near police quarters. It’s for the first time in a long time that police van was absent. It has been about a month since stadium reopened. Footballers, cricketers, runners and Walker’s along with badminton players and yoga practitioners gather for a while and eat samose or pohe before dispersing again. Sun has been harsh in the last few days.
2. I practiced catching with the plastic ball and walked in the academy ground. Here many students of Cricket were practicing to catch the ball. I see plenty of garbage but no drive in people to cleanse it. If I spend my time and energy in doing this: I gain nothing because I am deprived of the energy to teach the classes efficiently. I haven’t seen municipal corporation work in this ground even once in the last one month. It’s not up to me to take initiative and struggle at every place making sacrifices. No change whatsoever was observed in my neighborhood after having worked painstakingly for cleansing the grounds. Rather I was met with resistance and once I started playing Cricket some people got too jealous. I only have as much of energy in the timespace as is needed for my everyday jobs. I need to prioritize and save energy in all forms for longevity. I don’t need to watch miracles which leave me on mercy of hounds.
1. His birth ID was 13121985. He again came to this register which had entries between the years 1985 to 1994.
2. There was the library and the field where adepts disport. And yet it was not available to him for 33 years.
3. The day he joined the library in the year 2018, May: there were two more people in the assembly. Other than the librarian, it was one doctor who had a grey beard. He seemed very amicable in demeanor. He later told that he was born in the campus. He also told about Osho visiting the premise: a date on which there was an entry in the book which had a collection of his memorable letters.
4. The first entry has his name. He was a regular visitor and the librarian made his first entry after nine years. Shri Krishna Vaasudev Rao Daate also had a diary which he left here. It has its pages eaten up by fungus. The fifth of December has an entry with nine members. Certain Anand Tiwari, Shri Gopal Pateria and Dinesh Mishra stand out because : recent events highlighted those surnames. I saw a young boy on a bike. He has played Cricket with me but I hadn’t seen him for many days. His surname is same. After the fifth of December there are no entries until 14th of December. The gap had a birth identity created for me only a few kilometers away from that premise.
5. Nine entries on the fifth of December. Ninth month as the beginning of the entry register. On 17th of September: creation of a future prime minister. Eighth entry is by the doctorate in Chemistry who was not only born in the complex as per his own testimony but also visits the premise and reads newspapers with the librarian who joined him nine years afterwards. This might all seem like a make believe for it proves nothing as such but I was supposed to discover these records and keep them safe.
6. One practical inference is: with the advent of mobile phones and internet, the membership of library reduced further. Now only indwellers visit the library. He was, perhaps the only person who was not a theater artist and worked inside library premise since 2018. His involvement in the year 2019 was minimal. This entire campus has mysterious phenomenon but the library hall was royal court and it has plenty of space. It has ethereal record of hundreds of years of discussions. It did serve as a hall of gnosis for him for more than two and half years, though he had to struggle hard to continue working on cleanliness and maintenance of records. He looks forward to completing the second iteration of recording the titles and cleansing the drawers. Yesterday he came across the carcass of a dead lizard and today he saw a lizard who had regrown its tail.
I just raised 52000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps
1. I had a decent meal. I needed to wash clothes and utensils but I feel like not doing it because, first: I don’t have detergent. Second: to cleanse utensils means subjecting myself to voices which I might not like after having achieved this rare mind isolation. All miracles happen when you’re hungry, thirsty, scared and susceptible.
2. The peace. I called her to open the door. I had a nice time in evening at stadium. I played vocabulary jam on vocabulary.com and free rice quiz. I walked and ran a bit. Though sometimes it seems cumbersome to carry all this gear to the playground: I do remind myself that I have walked gearless, sat naked, walked naked and fearless and laughed at myself, zucchini, at the world at large. I have not known any mind isolation spoken of in Buddhist scriptures except through using earphones to suppress surrounding sounds. If listening to the inner sounds does result in achievements: I still fall short of achieving a sound proof hall of gnosis where I may sit indefinitely without life force getting sucked out of this body. A place where I am not purturbed by any sounds for as long as I want to. A place where I need not pay anything to stay comfortably for eons and eons. Since I am demanding it from the logos: it’s not from Jeevanmukta status. It’s from the adept status who has seen time loops and transcendence. Who has witnessed dance of death. I am demanding it because it has neither been fulfilled nor is it going to get fulfilled, rendering null all the tall claims made by all who came in that tradition. Since I have seen time and great time: the argument that it will take time is invalid.
3. Surangama sutra is invalid.
4. Yadgatva na nivartante tad dhaam parmam mam is invalid because the great time overpowers the Vaasudev in every scheme.
5. Liberation and bondage are both imaginary yet I wait for a transcendence where I am completely free from their ideas.
6. Lucid dreaming with such a huge amount of structures and work is neither lucid nor dreaming.
Dancing light of grace 