highschool – Dancing light of grace

Posted on May 20, 2020May 20, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace · 2 Comments

Memoirs

1. I am facing the music. It mostly has sirocco zephyr and chirping chirality typhoons spoons.

2. The screen has a few more cracks. As usual my dead furthers his procrastination on new smartphone and mummy is a slave.

3. I had lost my wallet by 9 o clock yesterday night. Logos. I gained it by 9 o clock this morning. It had 1115₹. You might assume that I am rich. Truth is: 222 ₹ per day is the cutoff for below poverty line income in India. I have no job or source of income. This money is from tuition fee in 2018. I don’t have requisite documents to receive government help for Below Poverty Line people. I can’t afford to buy petrol for my bike or coffee pouches for long. I need tuitions to further my career.

4. I wouldn’t have dared to report loss of my wallet if I hadn’t regained it. In that case: my carelessness and failure in rediscovering it would have been an agony in print. I went at around 11 in night to search it using the smartphone torch and I couldn’t.

Now: it’s a report about my good fortune and solace of quanta.

5. Body is sweating profusely and am getting addicted to two rupees pouches of Nescafe instant coffee. The brand doesn’t need likes of me for endorsing it . It’s a conditioning. Bike and coffee go hand-in-hand. And you tend to gain weight faster than you think. As I am sweating : weight is melting flab in lab labile smile . Miles to go before frost bucket list Milo sorghum beghum hummingbird iridescent descent scent of cenotaphs.

6. Writing heavily depends on weather, place and overheard conversations. I am consistently inconsistent these days.

7. Take for example: the reading of the constitution of India. Procrastination. Pramadi is the name of Vikrama Samvatsara. I might return to read the page four only when Nautanki is over.

8. Excessive fasting is evil. Penance is evil unless you know how to immediately switch over to positive from the negative. Blind imitation is evil. And what is evil? A rhetorical device.

9. We had many tenants. My father knew how to use every nook and corner for business. For the want of concentration I kept fighting. I went to my aunt’s place to study during a marriage ceremony. If I had the talent I would have stopped all marriages like this with a snap of fingers and expelled the tenants out but then what about our studies? Oh since both my parents did grade three clerical jobs like evaluation of answer notebooks and dancing before education or administrative officers, everything except teaching kids: it would have sufficed. My father might have had difficult time drinking and whoring out. My mother always had enough money to show off gold and jewelry in shoddy marriages and all her energy was devoted to her mother’s house and relationship with her brothers and sisters. My father being ambitious reluctantly followed the suit. He kept abusing his in-laws and yet all he wanted was their respect because they were mostly class two government servants.

10. Wednesday is 100. Mercury is Thoth the Alchemist. The white wing and Heather divine feather.

11. One of the tenants was named Ishvara Singh. He worked in the police department. His younger son who has visited us couple of times in last few months was a funny and energetic chap in his childhood.

My sibling had developed a formula to cope with my whimsical father’s wrath as he arrived. Being a Virgo Sun my father had a critical eye on household while he himself did little more than beating my mother after getting drunk. I used to see if buckets were filled as he needed to use water to wash himself up after having whored himself out to feudal lords of the region. He was suspicious of my mother’s character and I don’t know when exactly it happened but many demons were using his body as he used to talk about divorcing her very often. Buy it didn’t happen.

My brother used to recite whole chapter of civics as soon as he heard father’s scooter reaching while I used to work. The youngest sibling used to go out for emptying his bowels whenever there was a critical emergency and it was never understood why dead couldn’t recognise my siblings’ repeated recital of only one chapter. He had memorized it so well that he didn’t need notebook. No matter which game we were playing or where we were he started chanting as soon as he heard the scooter sound and lighting and behold he was immediately out of the danger. A protective charm he had developed. He also might have shield for us. He also played a key role in persuading my father to give up on alcohol. But strange: he continued using marijuana, tobacco and smoking and they all attacked me together when I was found using a little of marijuana.

12. Shubham or Shivam was the name. This son of the aforementioned tenant was akin to my brother a smart chap. His mother was illiterate. Whenever she got irritated with him and his siblings and ran after him with a cone or stick or broom, to beat him up, he used to run towards the roof on the stairs. They were 16. They are still 16, after 20 years. On step number 4 or 5 – with any book he could get his hands upon to support his act; he used to yell with his lungs full–

” My parents are great,

They don’t mock anyone,

They jump on the train as soon as they see it,

And they don’t quarrel.”

Holy mother of Vows@@@@

It was to make me dumbfounded, astounding dingo goading grounded without luggage. That guy was a raw genius!@@#$-&+*-

What in the names of heavens was he chanting~ And why did it work~

13. Usha Utthu sang a song Didi…Didi. And I used it to pull the leg of his younger sister named did. Oxymoron. Onion oncology gyrations.

14. The only Delhi girl whom I half-heartedly proposed for I knew it wasn’t going to happen and she was semi sincere didn’t take any of my calls until I called her a record 34 times. To say- don’t be so serious. I was kidding . I have done that with two other boys. I might have married you if you had a house in Delhi plus John Abraham body plus a dead who was a magistrate as well as dead plus adventurous spirit to drive 6 hours overnight to just meet me plus discotheque voolibah minus Jalaluddin Rumi plus limousine plus ability to handle my poor spirit etcetera. She knew — I was using her for improving my scribbling practice.

Anyways- one of the colleagues lost his father. We went to see him off to the Chennai International Airport. Early morning– I saw Usha Utthu with her friend. And Didi didi badi khusi hoi… This guy used to call those girls 56 times. It was then when they told it to me– I realized how big vast the world and how desperate I might have seemed in my pursuit of obsessive compulsive scribbling spamming and flooding in the name of holy Dr. Win Wenger Phd.

Time taken- 1H 33 Minutes.

Posted on May 8, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace

Constitution of India Page Two!

1. I had set myself a goal of learning about constitution of India or Bharat within a month of lunar cycle. The idea was to finish reading the 268 pages of the PDF with about 80% reading comprehension within the duration. Now it seems some magical changes have taken place. My consciousness has been so fluid in the last few days that I have been overlooking all my assignments. Especially: Python programming project (P3) and courses on Indian mythology and others which were available for free on eDX. I wonder if there would be an availability next time I login to their site. I also needed to read some fiction by Carrol Lewis: through the looking glass. Since I am in heavens I need to make most of it. Dad has asked me to wait till twentieth of May to get a new smartphone. Being a patriarch he controls all wealth in the household. I had asked mother and she redirected me to father. After six months of 2-3 hours of everyday given to cleaning this house where they scatter things and spit as they consume tobacco, Supari and other poisons : they lured me into believing that my isolation or using a defunct JIO smartphone was no good. They gave me a second hand smartphone with scratches on screen. And the cat left no scope as I dropped it once to lose a bundle of keys on keypad. I became a kind of Helen Keller or Milton composing with great difficulty what I may have finished with a snap of fingers.

2. Wait: this was supposed to be a note on COI(Constitution of India.)

3. I veer away with hope. The heat is really picking on nerves.

4. After a few days I might get a new smartphone. My laptop is wasted. I spent 1800 rupees on it and within a day it died again. The startup circuit. The maintenance guy humiliated me by humiliating my laptop. The parents humiliated me further by talking behind my back about my being spendthrift. They had almost worshipped me on July 20 2014 when they arrived Vrindavan unbeknownst to me and brought me here by citing morality as an excuse. Since then the six years were supposed to be my correction period. They left no stone unturned. I paid my dues to receive very little back. Those who learnt from me started spitting on my face. I never thought this was going to be the case and my life path would have been much easier had I continued with monks and beggars in 2014. A simple decision in the name of compassion in which my own comfort was also hidden became the Sisyphean curse weight of which is still a ton of atmospheric pressure upon my shoulders.

5. Earning money is difficult. By doing charitable deeds I can get my meals or by begging. I might have called myself a businessman but none of my students stay. In English they want me to teach something which helps them in exams. I teach vocabulary and word roots: I am no James Harbeck or Michael Quinion at that but clearly: I can help them gain words and understand better at a rapid rate. Or I teach yoga to kids: not a Ramdev at it yet I know the fundamentals well enough to make them immortal.

6. I hear you say: this is about the constitution of India. How is a guy supposed to earn his living? I may keep burning garbage like I have been: for the last six months: it won’t fetch money. I am happy with a clean ground instead of a dump pumpkin patch outside my house with pig dung cow faeces. Wait: kids play when lockdown is laxed. Laxity. Maxixe. Tithe blithe Megatron rodomontade.

7. You see. A note about CoI. I can’t give myself even 5GB of data everyday. I can’t download a movie. The day I downloaded one I had a hard time accessing the browser data and YouTube videos refused to play. Constraints. Grave of fireflies.

8. I don’t know if my notes sound more like a joke on myself or a joke on India. I recall Peepli Live. I told uncle about the dead Piglet as I went to collect garbage to burn. The Piglet had its left eye smeared red with blood. It seemed synchronicity as I had written about explosion of pigs in this colony. I wonder: who or what killed it.

9. I had reported the event so that we don’t have to bear with the fetid smell. If I wasn’t the one breathing the news. No, it was :breaking the news: I would have been the one sewing it. Receiving it with wings.

10. Parliament reserves the right regarding union of states. It can divide or add at whim without even passing the bill. Digvijay Singh and company divided Madhya Pradesh into Chattisgarh and Korba was lost. Severe power cuts was the result. I had a hard time in passing my higher secondary studying under a lantern in night on roof and occassionally some insects used to bite into my stomach thanks to Neptune conjunct Moon in my horoscope.

11. Division helps ego. It helps privacy. I tried patching up with my siblings. I tried talking to them normally. They don’t even know how to read or write. And they are too old to learn it from me. While they siezed with force, by hook and by crook, every patch of space I had: I kept giving them the best of resources. Spiritual counseling to ward their demons off. The narrative is set like this: dirty scumbag doesn’t want to lean his room, or bathroom or act. Openly abuses parents and siblings and even beats grandmother: when I ask him to cool down and take some time off he starts believing that it was him who set the limit for himself. He uses casuistry and black magic along with Hindu rituals of touching feet to make others think everything is alright. And he thinks he can kill everyone for his handicap and get away with it. The other kid is the do gooder hooded with underhand tactics under a government which uses those itself : Pegasus for example.

12. Compared to my childhood I barely have any space left here. And new marriages: younger siblings bringing wives means letting go of me or peaceful coexistence. Letting go of me would be the option once they have tried attempting to make me marry or serve them like a slave.

13. I would either go to Puducherry or Rishikesh. Haridwar won’t accept me. Vrindavan is already closed. This place needs babies and toddlers who would grow into men to further the amily tree to feed the hungry souls of ancestors. I need to read my blogs more often than not: they constitute my pure body of gnosis. It’s a weakness to grow fondness for places or people. Individuality, identity, idiosyncrasies are the only thing you truly love and they are delusion. Relative apperception. I have grown out of needs of mirrors. I walk with Narada on celestial waters.

Time taken: 1 Hour 5 minutes.

Posted on May 7, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace

Super Moon and Venus

1. It looks nearer than it appears in the image.

2. Venus is also visible in the South West:

3. People singing in chorus in the nearby temples. It was the sheer radiance today. A kid is singing and family members are busy chasing away the persistent cat. It gets almost no food here and it has been beaten yet it lingers here. So does the Ghanshi the name rhymes with Banshee and she is the old lady I wrote about another day on this very blog.

4. Mosquitoes are singing too. Kids frolic and some vegetable and bangle sellers had a good time today. I enjoyed playing Cricket with neighborhood kids and for a while it seemed as if Nitrous Oxide was mixed in the air people were breathing.

5. Life seems to be returning to the normal in the vicinity. Nitty gritty. Typhoons telephone time and Tide play one on one. And I have abstained from creating tingling lingas gatecrashing hinged zed eyes mingling blingbotsslingshotspotsupshots.

6. In order to impart meaning I need to create events, manage them well, create more events with fewer errors and fever verses on clerihew hewn and sewn by news evasedro pin point Nippon ponytail onyxoohagisys.

7. I look South. The only sky available to me with heavy hot air right now comes with mosquito bites. Mosquitoes deserve their food as much as I deserve my comfort or Etheridge victuals. Battue Tuesday has come to an end as dead animals dance with heavy ringtones notes on keywords venire xenon cenote secern discern neysaz. I have to remind myself of scaling and click time to clock time else the psychology takes over pretty fast track acknowledged degrees verdigris. Grisly sly lyrics.

8. Though the lunar calendar says it’s the full Moon, it’s not circular in shape but oval and tilted slightly to the left as if imagining a story.

Time taken: 35 minutes.

Posted on May 7, 2020May 7, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace

Carapace, space, apace!

1. In the birth, Prashna or Muhurata horoscope, the Moon placed in the various houses with respect to the ascendant or the sign arising in the East- makes various steps or padas which are also known as Payas.

2. Moon in the first, sixth or the eleventh makes: golden step. It’s severe and normal. Uranus. Gold: AU: 121:4.

3. Moon in the second, fifth or the ninth houses is silver step. It’s ruled by the Saturn- excellent among steps. Silver:AG:17:8.

4. Moon in the third, seventh or the tenth house is copper step: it’s good. Copper: CU: 321: 6. Venus.

5. Moon in the fourth, eighth or the twelfth houses is iron Paya: Iron: fe:65: 11:2. Moon.

6. In my Science viva voce for the high school examination, I was asked the formulae of Gold and Silver and I replied instantaneously as my class teacher told the examiner who was sent by the high school board of education that I was the most brilliant student of my class. We were two students for the viva and the other one got the first rank in the finale. I got the fifth rank in class while I was expecting, like my friends, teachers and relatives the first rank in my state. I could never comprehend my failure but I had to digest it and move ahead. My tensile strength wasn’t much in those days. Resilience was tending to zero until I started learning the integral Calculus in the higher secondary.

7. My friend who appeared in the viva with me had his house very near to school. His mother asked me to comb my hair when I was waiting for him to join me on my way to school. I politely refused telling them that I wanted to leave an impression of a nerd who had no time to comb hair. Which was hypocrisy because I was too well prepared in advance for all examinations. In fact, my speed of working out remained superb even an year after the high school and yet the God of mysterious things punished me for not having put enough work in previous years and getting good ranks only based on calligraphy. Karma Cagey.

8. As I told before: in the farewell juniors gave me a tag of “study is diamond, nature is gold,” and I was so full of myself, I never recalled what were the tags given to other students. The gold did match with my step as Moon was in the guest house of horoscope but the diamond is meaningless. Why did public opinion matters so much to those who are actually not more than public servants at best and public enemies at worst?

9. I used to run after the prayer in the school to home. I used to measure the time taken to reach home. I was a storm some days and kids watching me used to mock. I was merely experimental and collecting data. It wasn’t out of spite or desire to look down upon those who were in the game mode enjoying their lives. By the end of the standard eighth board examinations the recognition entered my head and I became an earnest student who experimented with whatever he got from books like those of Benjamin Franklin and Shriram Sharma: i.e. statesmen and scientists.

10. It continued in college and it wasn’t sudden. I tried people around me for enough long. And they were human beings. Not angels or demons. I wanted to dance with gods and learn from demons the tricks of the trade and tradecraft and I paid heavily by hurting my knees by walking on a treadmill for three days in a row for more than an hour everyday at a high speed while tendons were crying. I was under the influence of Bhaang and I didn’t listen to the body which needed rest. I learnt things hard ways by being a seeker of excess and risk in words of Barbara Pijjan Lama, the Jyotish.

Moderation is difficult. I ran and fell or veered away. Slow and steady all won the race. My high school friends earned doctorates and post doctorates. My colleagues are rich and perhaps famous I have not been in touch. I am a humble man as you can see. Therefore: as I advised my cousins {who once named me their role model, which was a decade ago when I was a black horse,} to follow celebrities like Da Vinci, Shakyamuni, Donald Bradman and Gandhi if you want to reach the very top. Or Ramalinga, Kabir, Nanak or Meera if you want to attain perfect immortality. It’s Koorma Jayanti as per Hindu puranas. Kurma is a mythical giant turtle incarnation of the dancing light of grace who holds the entire cosmos on its back carapace.

I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Reference: Paya

Time taken: 67 minutes.

Posted on April 29, 2020 by dancinglightofgrace

Memoir-High School Friends.

1. The seventh day of the lunar calendar has begun. Gar Karana.

2. I wrote an obituary cum numerology post on great actor Irrfan Khan, who met Allah today; as I was searching for a good song to upload with the draft, the post was gone.

3. He was the most appropriate actor to play Osho in Osho biopic because his eyes matched and he also had an exalted Jupiter in horoscope along with a reading habit. Rest in peace!

4. I recall my classmates from my highschool. I have written about my teachers for a few days. Now, I need to write about my friends for a while. I would use real names as far as possible, with Samkhya or number scheme to remember all flames.