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Preparing For Bundelkhand Marathon 2021 Part Three!

1. I walked and ran for about 90 minutes and kept playing vocabulary jams yesterday evening. Wind was furious and Moon looked pale red. There were four cows and a mule and later, to my surprise, five guys joined who left after spreading some garbage in the name of new year celebrations.

2. I enjoyed playing with PC and Vishnu Ram. It’s an honor to play with such wonderful players. Stephen and Paul were also there.

3. Took some pictures which create a series:

National Youth Day!

I own my images, words and ideas, both here and on Blogger’s World.

4. I can complete marathon even at my normal walking speed. I can walk even a 40 kilometres marathon, therefore winning by running faster is not an issue. It’s merely endurance training.

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After Deendayal Rasoi Day Five!

1. I took some pictures: uploaded them on instagram before I began writing this article. The weather is pleasant.

2. It is Sunday market. The Ramlila ground was fully occupied. I had a pleasant meal in Deendayal rasoi. The scrubber was inside the soap bucket. I looked for it around me and then dipped my hand inside the bucket. Guacamole is avocado dipped in a dish. Dipped in what?

3. I saw an exquisite Robin after exiting toilet. I washed my feet before I came to this place.

4. This has been an extraordinary year in many senses. Despite all miracles: it seems as if it’s a huge burden i am carrying. Most people don’t recall words from our last conversations whereas I tell them about chains of events and causation in vain. It’s because of miracles: it seems like an eternity. And there’s an eternity in the making. There’s no death, no aging or defeat in this game.

5. I developed following models for young people I used to interact with:

A. Game

B. Journey

C. War

D. Dream

E. School

6. I have no doubt that I love the School model the most. And yet: these are merely five prime models. There can be countless such models.

7. Journey model is used by Guru or psychonauts. Internal or external journeys are used with landmarks to ascertain progress. Crystalline intelligence is mostly about memories. Good or bad. Organized or disorganized.

8. Every model overlaps with other. As Kabbalistic sephirods scheme has material and spiritual worlds overlapping each other.

9. Take Truth realm universe or Sachkhand for example. There can be countless witnesses to tell about their experiences. I use it to debunk myths.

10. Try it: things are what they seem. If you see people : you’re seeing people. If you see trees: you’re seeing trees. If they say no: they mean no.

11. The laws are wierd and merciless.i participated in making of a video which was shot under Ashok tree. I was a reluctant participant. That journalist is present in the library today. He’s a member of the trust. I was reading “Teere Teere Narmada,” by Amritlal Vegad then. I wanted to buy the book but as they had only one copy left: I didn’t.

12. Shri took my picture. We were reading the post about fishes that was published yesterday from this very spot. First she asked why I don’t upload my selfie pictures on my blogs. Then, without my permission she took two shots. I asked her to show them to me-out of curiosity about my appearance. Then I requested her to delete them. She didn’t. I asked her to give me a picture of her face. She refused. I kept taking her shots with hope of capturing her face. She covered it. Then she asked me to not use her body’s picture on my blog. I agreed. What’s so special about our faces? Conditioning.

I reminded her to not behave in a way with others in which we don’t want others to behave with us.

“Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.”

13. She also showed a sketch done by her. She cut the paper and used it on back of her smartphone. She’s quick to learn and evolve. It was indeed flattering to have my picture captured by someone. But I don’t want to feel incapacitated. She refused to be captured. So did I. One day I was captured and they refused to delete my picture. I didn’t like it.

Eventually: she deleted my images and showed her phone. I deleted all 14 of her images and showed it to her.

14. She didn’t do her homework again. Why do people behave the way they do? We played on Free Rice: German, Algebra and Chemical symbols. She gave up on the last one very easily. Scored much better than me on German but lost on Algebra.

The key to score better than her is:

1. To not to chat with her as you play.

2. To focus on maximizing score instead of being righteous.

3. To not to multitask.

15. All indo-germanic languages have similar roots. That’s why I find it easy to answer questions on German and Spanish though I have never studied them systematically.

16. If I kept playing on Free Rice: soon I would be able to learn basic working ‘visual vocabulary’ of all languages offered there: German, Spanish, Greek and Latin.

17. As I was listening to Lucky Ali’s song from his album Sifar: the triangle on the palm symbol attracted my attention. Mercury, Saturn and Moon mounts are on top of three lines which create the triangle. The shape of Paratha. The cone. The dot in the centre is verily the Sun. The Self. The void. The black hole. Neither nor, either or, 1/0. Sefer Yetzirah.

18. Those who are quick to promise are found faltering when required to fulfill them. Don’t trust young people about serious issues. Buying half a kilogram of guava costs 20 rupees whereas eating them by plucking from a farmer’s farm brings 1000 demons of guilt. This is what comes from experience. If your requirements are simple, definable and affordable : they can be fulfilled if you’re willing to pay the price.

19. Ramcharan Vidyarthi came as I was cataloguing books. He told about Damayanti madam not being happy with my sweeping of library hall. I have been sweeping it on every Saturday. Yesterday she got it Sweeped before I reached. This gave them the right to talk behind my back, then bring it to my front, then make me write it and earn extra brownies. This is the way of the world. A tall broom is needed to remove cobwebs. I should have shown knack of tying the broom to the bamboo which was put outside the library hall. I didn’t.

20. Why should I learn driving a second hand Maruti 800 which has a complex gear mechanism when technological advancements have brought cars which run via manual gears which are as easy as flying personal chartered planes?

21. Why this third world mass manufacturing market of filth has all of the people producing offsprings who have similar fates? Limited and oppressing?

22. I set myself a goal to again reach Kumbhaka level 4 minutes. Lia was responding to oxygenation then. I confounded her with Nandita. Prosopagnosia. I had achieved it in 2003. This year took me on excursions which taught me mysteries of Atma Pariyojna. Mysterious ways of Kabbalistic Deuteronomy. I had to shut myself off comletely as every walk used to bring experience worth one book.

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Isha Garg!

After replying to MVS, i saw Isha Garg’s comment on her blog. Then I recalled having mentioned her in my closure post on Blogger’s World along side MVS. ‘The son of a slave’ was a poignant piece by Isha. She belongs to the league of extraordinary armadillos. Since she doesn’t read my blog or follow me there’s no logical cause for worry or sadness after publishing this innocuous comment.

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You, you or you and you!?

1. It was a pleasant walk back to this place. A walk in twilight after a long time. The librarian was reading newspaper. I took his leave after a few minutes. This morning I had a ride on e-rickshaw. This noon I met a person who was interested in books and arcane knowledge.

2. Lunch in Dindayal rasoi was the highlight of the day. As i reached the place : I saw ongoing construction. A boy with a bike told me that there was no more food. It was only two o’ clock but then he said: if you want to eat, come with me. I followed him and he told that it was roti and curry instead of usual rice. He offered either four rotis with curry for five rupees or eight rotis plus curry for ten rupees. I opted for the latter. After a long time I had plenty of food without guilt. Whatever comes out of this food will be bliss. I was raptrous in library for the rest of the afternoon as I kept reading bits and pieces. The songs of devotion for the divine feminine. I took permission from Damayanti madam to feed guavas to cows. I had bought them for twenty rupees and two of them were left.

3. I observed a painting by an artist named Sanju as i was coming back from Gayatri Mandir. Kala Mandir was written below it. The painting was state-of-art.

4. Shri scored better than me on both Algebra and Vocabulary quizzes on Free Rice sites. It might seem like an exaggeration but Damayanti madam came at the same time to pay me two hundred rupees and asked for the balance. It distracted me for a while: yet i can’t use the same logic to explain why she scored better than me on Algebra on third day consecutively. I told her that I was going to score better tomorrow. Would I? I would practice. We shall see.

Here’s a verse:

I saw a damsel,

A maiden,

A divine melody in a form,

Was it you, you or you?

Or all of you!

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Morning Run!

1. 40 balls. 8 hits on target.

2. Read newspaper on app. Strangely: all news in this town and around is either about accidents or Lodhi community. And accident signboard has an exclamation mark, like my posts do. Not just one post. It’s entire journalism community of Dainik Bhaskar mocking the prevention of accidents, pedestrians getting killed by bikers. Can it be published selectively? Yes. Can events be executed selectively? You will be surprised.

3. I recalled my match with Abhishek Rajput when we were in school. He used to blackmail me as I had told him my secret. The secret was my fondness for one of my classmates. She was also fond of me for a while she stayed. It wasn’t one sided. I was a nerd. Four or five of them took an oath but then they broke it. He kept using me for assignments and so on. Then one day Abhishek Narayana Sinha went to principal’s office to free me. I don’t know if he really did. He returned with the word from principal’s office:

” Everyone is god’s child, love each other!”

It was a relief.

It all occured in classes between fourth and fifth. We were nine or ten years old.

It was the same school where we used to take this pledge every morning:

“India is my country and all indians are my brothers and sisters.”

All of them married to their sisters and brothers. So will Abhishek. We are all incestuous since the beginning of Adam and Eve.

Once he challenged me for a one-on-one match and I began chanting mantras as I had heard my father chanting. When the match happened: you know who won. It was me. Then again it happened with Mayank Shukla.

The same trait was present in Ankur Tripathi. I was fond of Sanat Jayasurya. He was an explosive opener after 1996 world cup. We were both watching a match when he began beating Shrinath and Prasad: Ankur entered pooja room in his house with rosary beads and the result was Jayasurya getting out on his leg side by Prasad. I called him out of the room. We were fanatics. Hero worship.

It came to my mind as I was bowling this morning. Abhishek went on to become the most educated person in our batch. Despite all odds. I understood value of a post doctoral thesis only after coming in contact with Devika and company. Prior to that I used to consider doctorates to be awarded as favor by college authorities.

Dravid said in an interview that he wanted to pursue doctoral thesis. Later he was conferred those honorifics by some university and it seemed he veered away from his initial goals. Don’t we all?

4. The poha stall guy went for getting change for 500 rupees. The girl disappeared soon. The boys came to check if samose were hot. Old thread with samose. I was doing my job and they were doing theirs. It was Arya, the poster girl outside Ratan Palace yesterday. I recalled it later. She must have put earnest work to reach where she’s. Like Dhaniram who came with another getup and fancy dress. He came the way I had imagined him : once he met me on way with calendars in his hands. It’s second time he asked for poha. He took only a bit.

5. There were people running inside stadium. The stadium is locked. Even girls were allowed. This is the country where Truth wins in the end! Happy Shabbath! Gesture by bikers outside NCC office.

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Thanksgiving 2020

A fellow blogger inspired this post.

1. This year i feel grateful for this black cap that I don on my head. The man sitting on the thela outside stadium near Surya Namaskar statues sold this to me in 70 rupees after bargaining. He asked me what the thing on my right hand’s finger was. I told him about the tally counter which I use to keep track of number of mantras chanted everyday. It was given to me first as an idea by Hare Krishna movement’s Iskcon devotees in Bangalore, in 2011-2012.

2. i feel grateful for this smartphone. This technology which makes it possible to listen music, write and read. It also allows me to capture images and share it with world via social media.

3. i feel grateful to people who worked hard to build this house, this room, this community and space where I can sleep peacefully. i also feel grateful to people who made these clothes that keep me warm in night.

4. i feel grateful to you. The reader of this article. Thanks for your attention. Thanks for being there. Thanks for being yourself. Thanks for holding your ground and principles. Thanks for letting me post on Blogger’s World again(Pam Kirst).

5. i feel grateful to people who created language. Without it there wouldn’t have been this communication possible.

6. i feel grateful to all friends and teachers including Abhishek Rajput who invited me to attend a marriage ceremony while many Ku Klux Klan people were spitting as i passed from streets.

7. i feel grateful to valiant people of Tibet who researched Living and Dying. Coded their experiences in written language without hiding them. i thank Padmasambhava, Shakyamuni, Thich naht Hanh and Dalai Lama.

8. i feel grateful to Saint Rajinder Singh ji who allowed me to get initiated into mysteries of Surat Shabad Yoga in 2014, in July. i couldn’t keep the covenant. Yet i am thankful to Guru Nanak Dev Ji and Kabir along with Ramananda.

9. i feel grateful to bloggers on WordPress who inspired me to read and write verses and prose. Pam, Rashmi, Kristina, Izza, Devika, James, Nandita, Rishuu, Lia.

10. i feel grateful to kabbalists. They’ve the best model of reality elucidated clearly in English language available on internet for anyone who can read and understand.

11. i feel grateful to Vallalar aka Ramalinga Swamikal Adigal. Since 1874, there hasn’t been any other person who attained perfect immortality. His last 101 verses attest to this fact and it was confirmed by a British collector who donated 20 rupees towards the cause. If the account published is false: there remains absolutely no value in anything published online or offline. There remain no teachers or taught. There remain no goals or walks. No play. Nothing. (World Food Programme)

12. i feel grateful to Manikavacchagar, Aandal, Meera and Nayanmars and Alvar saints.

13. i feel grateful to Rama, Krishna, Christ, Muhammad, Moses, Zarathustra and other messengers.

14. i feel grateful to teachers like Pandit Shriram Sharma, Osho, UG, JK, Eckhart, Nisargadatt and others whose books inspired me to strive for my own reality.

15. i feel grateful to auteurs like David Lynch and Christopher Nolan who created movies which define an era. I feel grateful to Hitchcock, Shyam Benegal and others.

16. i feel grateful to creators of finest music in Bollywood, Hollywood and elsewhere: lyricists like Irshaad Kamil, Gulzar, Mazrooh, Neeraj, Jaaved Akhtar and singers like Poppy, Kylie, Kishore, Rafi, Mahinder Singh, Lata, Manna Dey, Mohit Chauhan and Atif Aslam.

17. Bands which created songs like Rasputin (Bonnie M.) and Ketchup song.

18. Entertainers who inspired us: Brian Charles Lara, Mark Waugh, Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Sanat Jayasurya, Courtney Walsh, Curtly Ambrose, Mohammad Wasim, Wasim Akram, Akram Khan, Moin Khan, Dhoni, Jaunty Rhodes, Ricky Ponting and others.

19. Role models like: Gandhi, Nehru, Patel, Mandela, Franklin, Rahul Dravid, Gulzar, Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Supercommando Dhruv, Natarajan, Quan Yin, Quan Yang, Vishnu, Narayana, Vaasudev, Krishna etc.

20. Dancinglightofgrace. Logos.

21. DLOG Artificial intelligence apps.

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The Day Begins!

1. Harshan Yoga. Sagittarius ascendant. Mercury and Moon rule the 12 hour day. The stadium is still being used as an isolation cell for those who do not wear mask.

2. November is pronounced as Navambar or new sky in Hindi

3. December is pronounced as this ambar or this sky. The sky which gets generated in November is called so in the month of Margsheersha. Sun is aligned to the galactic core via Orion or Mrigshira constellation in this month. Mrigshira is in Aries- Taurus.

4. I bowled 43 times in Shatabdi ground facing North. I took permission of academy coach to bowl as they were playing a practice match there before I reached.

5. I played free rice vocabulary quiz. Meditated. Did Surya Namaskar and breathing practices. Sun was shining brightly today. I saw a jet plane going up towards North from South. I took a video which seems to have vanished. A mask hangs around my ears. This is a strange world.

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11112020

1. I walked 24 rounds. Anti-clockwise. Inside stadium. I had a sprain in the right shoulder and I wanted to give it some rest. I didn’t run. There were not as many people today. I broke my previous record of 23 rounds. It seemed easier this time. (Based on Vrijpura experience: I can walk 50 rounds everyday! It means about three hours of walking everyday) I need to reduce flab on my tummy which is gradually increasing. I should continue to walk in evening as it’s the foundation for running. Morning bowling and evening walk should do the trick! All that you build up has to be maintained. Ah the rut!

2. Milind’s call kept me engaged. Couldn’t teach the kids. I enjoyed speaking to him. It was after a long time. He’s similar to Piyush in a way. Both of them seem to be intellectuals who connected with me because of my ideas and outlook on life.

Dazzling! 7 baloons

3. The earplugs were acting up. Now I need to buy another.(15 days for 50 rupees. Earplugs. Tennis balls. Internet recharges. Most minimalistic of lifestyles can’t be maintained. Regular getting of head shaved needs 50 rupees per week. Plus regular diet) The picture above was taken just outside the stadium where two gentlemen on bike were distributing sweets to kids who were standing near the lights. They asked me to take picture with kids but I didn’t because I am not sure of anything anymore. Piyush told me yesterday that it is illegal to take pictures of people without their consent. I click pictures of Sun and birds without their consent and if groups of people come in my way : I don’t bother to ask each one of them to give me space to take pictures but I need to be careful before I start making a million dollars per hour. Then I might be worth being sued. As of now : what I click or write is worth toilet paper or even lesser.

4. I played vocabulary jams. On three of them I scored 221 ranks. I want to play more if time allows.

5. Shri was happy today. She laughed a lot and scored well on test on clause. (45 out of 50) Her score in Hindi half-yearly exams is 56 marks out of 80. It’s less than 75 percent. Her friend scored 38 marks out of 80 which makes me a suitable candidate to teach her and I asked her to recommend me to her friend. But it’s not how it works here. I am anxious about her tomorrow’s test. After tomorrow we might be able to study new chapters and play some games of verbal intelligence. I need to buy another tennis ball.

Art!

6. The picture above was taken just in front of the Narasimha temple with the permission of the shop owner. I enjoyed teaching Rohan. Shops were all decorated with colors.

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Rest of the day!

1. Borrowing leads to more borrowing. Ideally I should have learnt the alchemy by now: I would have been a wealthy man. Practically: I am going to borrow another two hundred for the internet recharge. I took an advance from my employer who enquired about our progress in studies. It’s not the first time she used “addiction” for my reading habits. It does seem flattering but truth is: I am far behind than I should have been. I told her about Shri’s progress in Hindi and English.

Dhaniram at the Horse Square!

2. We did some catching practice as she was bored of the play written by Sanskrit playwright Bhasa. It was written many centuries ago. It was based on the popular event in which Duryodhana the king of Kauravas who were dark half of Mahabharata was ruling the country and the bright half was in the exile yearning for five villages or half of the kingdom as per their right. Vaasudev comes as a messenger.

3. The students were quicker than me in Sanskrit. I was drowsy when they knocked. We had a nice time reading some verses and doing some practice.

4. Dhaniram was sitting at horse square. I took the picture. I also observed a Bramhani lizard just outside the stadium: it tried to run towards my feet.

Courtesy: Bramhani

5. This picture was taken outside the Narasimha temple:

Courtesy: potters
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Who Has Seen The Wind?

1. It’s no nonsense: a traffic police guy carrying a black pipe was standing near Chhatrasal’s Horse: maybe because of the Friday market. It was an easy passage inside the street which leads to Gandhi Smarak Bhavan. Usually there are so many unemployed labourers that the passage is blocked. I saw and saluted the librarian who was wearing a mask today. Then I saw one gentleman who I thought would pass silently as he was on a bike but drew my attention and we greeted eachother. Since he’s a rich guy and he once reported of couple of deaths which were not reported later on in the newspapers: I really wonder if I am getting undue attention. Society and people are strange. It works on strange and complex principles.

2. In the class: there was no power. A battery driven lamp helped me play vocabulary jams as he was writing. His parents are careless. They couldn’t buy a new notebook for him in the last four days though he needs it. Perhaps they have no money. The room is stuffed with things and he has no notebook. I merely keep correcting his Bundelkhandi to standard Hindi : he spits on my face as he speaks and hangs too close near chair. I was smarter when I was seven.

3. The guy who was in the batch junior to mine in Maria Mata Convent High School : seemed like he was approaching me. Then he dropped a cigarette pack as he was looking for something in his left pocket. I really don’t know if it was an insinuation or a sign of nervousness. Maybe he works for the secret police. He walks with a slight bend in his spine and looks dull though his demeanor suggests that he’s a nice guy. I saw a police car standing outside the clinic just before the Gandhi Smarak Bhavan. As bespectacled guy had vicariously saluted me because he wanted me to salute when on bike with his son: or so I thought: similarly the man said something about new arrangement to the man in the police car. It’s mostly weekdays and timings and my neurosis which leads to strange stories. Then I saw her in a strange place. I had masonic Pulav for which I only have respect as it energizes me and reminds me to keep working on Free Rice: for I don’t know any other means to help alleviate the hunger of others.

4. The center of the stadium has an “H” made with white powder. There’s a circle around it. A booth nearby and entire thing covered with another circle of rods which are there since three to four days. It’s related to elections but the sign looks more like a crop circle and the booth seems to represent a scenario like Phone Booth. I could bowl 50 times. It was easy. Mainly the pitch.

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Statistics Booming!

1. 405 views and 27 visitors. Unforeseen unprecedented. It was the peak performance of my Google Blogger blog in the year 2012 when I wrote some posts about dollar bill being illuminati conspiratorial pyramidal symbolic binding note.

2. I don’t know if it was the romantic failures post but it’s certainly connected to blogger’s World.

3. If I knew what creates 405 views : I might repeat that kind of behaviour but I don’t. It’s HUGE in terms of WordPress.

4. It might make me rich if I can keep it up and learn to monetize this blog.

5. I am unable to decide if I should play vocabulary quiz or watch Supernatural finale.

6. I was drowsy when I reached stadium. Most of the buses have gone. I had a walk with a friend and we enjoyed a chat.

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My Romantic Failures!

1. Since Piyush went to his village with his mom: I was left with extra couple of hours. I tried playing vocabulary jams but my getting first or second ranks consistently as there were only 12 to 13 players on most of them made me bored.

2. I decided to watch a science fiction movie. I put the phone to charge and got some rest. As I was taking rest I thought about finding my romantic thread and publishing it here. It’s a story which makes me wiser everytime I write it. It’s made of delusions.

3. Now I can say: I created this blog to anonymously continue to publish things which were not related to previous blogs. Soon I gained enough confidence to integrate it with previous blogs.

4. Gaslighting reached to an extent in my life that offline and online was same. People mostly disliked me or they had a very odd way of expressing their fondness : I am infamous. Despite being humble as far as my possessions and income are concerned.

5. Police, shamans, tantrikis and healers know me the most though not in that very order. Secret police is always after me.

6. I can say: Gandhi took at least sixty years of his life to reach a clarity where he could publish about his most private affairs: like sleeping with his grandniece as an experiment for his celibacy (citation Wikipedia) : not that it was liked by his closest staff members. Not that it was really a success but mere admission was an accomplishment in an indian subcontinental setting.

7. I achieved that by the age of 35. And I understand that Gandhi was very popular. I am not as popular. Perhaps I am known only to a fraction of number of people who knew Gandhi : yet I think there was no indian with a greater courage to admit one’s foibles. To clarify: I didn’t sleep with any grandniece or niece or such but I was able to publish online most of my private life without hesitation.

8. I think Buddha’s four noble truths: like the four noble truths in Jainism emphasize on “admission of problem” in the first step. Admission of guilt or shame or confessions is important. The first step to solve a problem is to recognise the problem.

9. Albert Einstein said that he would take 55 minutes to find the problem : its root and then only 5 minutes will be enough to solve it. If an hour is given to solve a problem : which approach is better than it?

10. Confessions; as in Christianity and the first noble truths in Jainism as well as Buddhism are regarding nature of problems: psychoanalysis emerges from it.

11. One fundamental problem is: religion is based on a foundation of there being more life, goodness, light and positivity than negativity. Is that true? That’s upto you to decide. Same with Science.

12. When I was depressed: I kept an online journal on my laptop. There: some hackers caught hold of it and took me to a shaming room merely to make me feel guilty. In the long run they all failed. I came out stronger and healthier. I can say: I did a good thing but: you shouldn’t do it unless you’re hundred percent sure: and you can never be. Jean Jacques Rousseau to Gandhi to Tolstoy there have been countless thinkers who published about their character. It’s putting yourself in the hands of angels and demons. I assumed: since they were hackers they must be wise enough to understand that all religions are make believe dreams. They have their values but not any ultimate value.

13. Now: coming back to the thread of romance as it’s Autumn. I am a bachelor. I never married nor am I planning to get married. Moreover: I never had any sexual intercourse in my life. I produced no offsprings nor do I plan to produce any.

14. I did have some hanky-panky but it was once when I was too young: seven years old: must be angels or demons experimenting on poor kids. Second it was when I was working: I thought an obese girl could become a supermodel by the power of love. I was wrong. I invited much negativity later on and suffered which wasn’t directly related to hanky panky but the parting girl said: “you used me.” I told her:” we both used each other; don’t mislead the narrative.” Which version of narrative remained with her out of our dillydallying is not known to me.

15. It took me ten years to regain my fitness. My family members had left me penniless to imagine of any romance. I could only romance with sweepers, maid servants, grandmothers and like. Romancing essentially means: taking your loved ones to dinner etcetera and then to bed. I couldn’t afford any of that. Romance was dead for me. What remained was: watching porn and chatting with girls or women who were either a scam or bots. That also consumes energy but teaches you faster about Nirvana.

16. Online affairs were later: after my awakening: therefore they merely sounded like “forced creation of narratives by multiple parties.”

17. One peculiar nature of these affairs was their resurgence: despite there being no hope they kept coming back. Love was always there. It was romantic love I was talking about. It became a stronger and stronger yearning towards reality or godhead but it had many affairs.

18. In witness sense: it was Mara’s net. In a positive sense: it was my way out of depression.

19. I kept reading some poets: realizing that I could neither be loyal to any one of them nor I was seeking any commitment. I realized after a while that they were mostly looking for people who might inspire their verses on which they might make money by selling books.

20. I was too cut-off from money making business because I had signed up for spiritual stuff which advocated minimalism. It became too much after a point when I realised that spiritual and material were not that far removed from each other and being too much of a minimalist wasn’t possible with the people I was living with. They didn’t value renunciates.

22. I would marry someone who is: absolutely attractive, absolutely intelligent, absolutely absolute, an equal to me in every aspect but not more than me. Someone who can put all noises, ghosts, hungry people and magicians and goblins to silence forever. Only two of us dedicated to each other without any progenies or world. No deformation, no decay, no death or aging. Unless that’s a given: I need no romance or marriage. Jerking off to Korean, Chinese, Spanish porn is excellent! As long as that’s feasible. I might write an article convincing you about the merits of porn. It’s already exalted in Indian temples and scriptures. Why not admit it clearly. I was contemplating whether to write a long article about my porn history or my romantic failures. I chose the latter.

23. With this current demigod status: marriage is impossible for me. Even a decent romance needs me to be at least as rich as a Bill Gates. That’s also next to impossible. And think about it: to earn wealth to realize that you haven’t conqured aging, decay and diseases like Vallalar or other Jnana Siddhars did: it’s better to seek that completely rather than to search for a romance which is mostly : obese girls trying to sell their novels(or books of poetry) or someone taking pity on you.

24. Online romance: I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw Izza Ifzaal writing verses on my private life. Whether it was a synchronicity or a delusion or dark net or her clairvoyance: it created temporary romance which I couldn’t afford to. Then I found many people writing about me or trying to attract my attention one way or the other. Some clearly admitted that I was an inspiration for their articles. That made me feel important like never before! Things haven’t changed in five years. I am only more aware of traps : booby or otherwise: then Kristina, Shine Ferrer, Devika, Nandita, Sameera, Rishuu, smouldering words: they all seemed to use either my gullible nature or something else to make me believe that there was some romance somewhere. Devika’s case was most strange : not because I merely wanted it to be: Shine Ferrer chatting with me on Facebook talked about her while I was reading Izza Ifzaal and I clearly told her that she was out of my league. But as a mystery worth being searched : I tried my best to investigate and found that she was also looking to make a living off of me like rest of them: like my parents and siblings. She along with Varjak Baby taught me some lessons about being selfish.

25. That sums up honorable mentions online. Offline it was: Swati in college who was a delusion as per my friends. Monika and Richa are happily married and they’re as happily married as Ravneet is. These are real names. I spent considerable time with those two because Saurabh was involved. Saurabh the Vyasa had incarnated to teach me a lesson or two. He’s happily married too.

26. The school life had co-ed but nuns of Christ were too harsh to allow you any romance. Rest of it was covered by my parents. They still take sexual potency pills but ensured that their children had no romance in their lives.

27. There used to be flying planes with notes on them: love notes. That was the extent of romance. Being a nerd helped as long as you performed. In my brief corporate life: the seniors always had more lucrative packages. As told before: the design by archons here is to make more and more healthy males to fight for a handful of girls. Win the trophies. By my reckoning: I see at least two hundred males per single beautiful girl and twenty to twenty five males per mediocre girls.

28. Ranjana had asthma. She worked out in gym and married to a Sikh who worked hard to build his body. They had both settled in USA. I didn’t find her to be attractive. She was from Bengal and Bihar. She was educated and we shared a lot of time with each other as co-workers. She told me that IAS officers in Bihar were willing to marry her. I couldn’t believe my eyes. That’s the kind of society we have made. It’s a pity. Perhaps it was always like this: a make-believe. I am happy that I was saved. I was made a demigod and in time I might gain pure body of gnosis and bliss.

29. If anyone: whose names are given in this article feel offended: let me know in the comments and their names would be removed. If they want to sue me: I am already penniless : merely getting my day-to-day food by teaching tuitions which are hard to come by despite my being a demigod. If you are still interested in taking revenge: let me know when you are going to strike.