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1. I sweeped the room which was pending since long. I cleaned the handkerchief. I am practicing forced exhalation. At once I used to do it ten thousand times everyday. I need to get back into shape. The match I played today: I couldn’t score enough runs for my team.
2. Today, one of my students went to stadium with me. He can do six pull ups whereas I can only do about three. He still owes me twenty rupees which would be paid tomorrow when our books get clear and we begin a fresh month of learning English Grammar and Vocabulary for which I would be paid by the third of November. I need to be frugal to survive. There are many things which need to be bought but I barely have the budget to feed myself bread and milk everyday. I wonder how many people have even less than me.
3. I could rest well in the last few days. Binaural beats played a role in it. I fed myself well to get balance back. Gandhi’s last meal was richer than my average meals. This is a reflection on how minimalism is not for people living below poverty line. It’s for people who are well known or have millions in bank account as well as passports for every country in the world. I barely move around the city practicing minimalism in the last eight years. I was held captive since last thirty five years. And what freedom do I find after waking up?
4. Many magic shows and circus shows. Now I know how complex karmic webs are woven by authors. I am not bored because it’s an infinite adventure. A never-ending journey. An everlasting class. The bad news is: all help, magic and miracles are available when you’re delirious, feverish, have barely anything to eat or feed yourself. When you walk too long or run too long. When you beg or bend too low before others repeatedly for the same things they also need.
5. It was a pleasant Sunday. I have a smartphone which was gained when I had lost desire for it. With a delay of ten months. Revealing all karmic webs : individual, family, friends, neighborhood, architecture, municipal, logoi etc. I saw laotzu. One of my students needed it as well. Now all three of them have. The new batch has students who are too young to use a smartphone. I need to postpone all my requirements until I get my money back. Then I may buy some clothes, tennis balls, data recharge and other essential things.
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Cricket: Trouble in the Paradise!
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1. I had some rest.
2. I got a new job offer. I reached slightly earlier. Took the class. While going to library after the class I was stopped by a biker for directions to a nearby temple. I thought I had given it as he saluted a pundit hence I started walking. The guy came again: I told him that entrance was just besides the transformer. Strange: I heard my demons saying: “show your license;” whereas no license was needed to walk on a ground I was familiar with. The posters were put on the twenty second and they were taken away after nine days.
3. A magic trick: I do remember when the pocket of this pant was torn: it was, after I had hit a football. I saw a policeman with a gesture of two besides the neem tree. I had stopped to drink some water. I was hungry and thirsty and I had no money. I recalled hilarious comical movie Peepli Live as it’s birthday of Lal Bahadur Shastri and Mahatama Gandhi tomorrow. As soon as I saw him: the tally counter which I had put in the left pocket: which was intact: seemed to be torn too: how else in the broad daylight: it was possible to get the counter cross from solid to liquid side? That’s the place I had seen a treasure too. A chest. I kept walking and took a turn to see that same fear was waiting for me in case of another optical illusion. It’s the very nature of optical illusions that occurred when I first reached to the academy ground. Upon closely observing there was no trace of magicians. Now you see me: three.
4. Hemlata: when it happened at first: I witnessed a young girl playing with a lizard fearlessly. Then the clan: man came to buy mango once. I recalled mega society’s journal Noesis: the emphasis was on amount of effort put into solving the tests designed by Ronald K. Hoefflin. Rick Rosner and Terrence Tao. Axe: a deodorant. Jason Axe: Friday the 13th series which was the dimension of chaos. She had requested me to teach her daughter. Then she asked me to wait until secretary was back. She was back and she greeted me from afar as I was moving towards the key hanger. She asked if I had been paid: my response was delayed: I recalled: I was paid once I mentioned my requirements to my students and focussed on teaching English Grammar and Vocabulary instead of teaching them all at once.
5. Red ladyfinger. Green ladyfinger. Aubergine. Green roots. I did see the youngest in the lot inside the Cricket Academy suggesting the association of the root with the animal dog which indicated loyalty. It was strange as far as logic was concerned: Jay was not too vocal yet he said something of significance. So did the disciplined MVM kid. They knew all the constellation signs. Hence Rohini : an archetype representative of Mrigshira or Taurus in general was recalled to resemble the face of four of them I knew one time or the other. Then I saw another resemblance: Maya or matrix was her name. A bike had ‘honey’ written behind it and I immediately recalled traps leading me towards inevitable surrender to this dimension where I lost my money and merits to an extent about eight years ago. I had played Cricket: it was obvious to revive my learning via this game played with balls. Yet: I was reluctant to run. Yesterday: the true meaning of ‘run’ was revealed. It meant: to run. To move with speed.
6. I had also been to Shealing Public School. Couple of kids came to work in the academy today. It looked fabulous to watch them all practice. It was an orchestra par excellent. I kept counting the number of balls thrown : it was about 210 balls in total. Shealing means: a shelter or refuge. A closely spaced group of huts for fishermen.
7. The students were optimal. My attention changes the quality of class. The problem is: sometimes I have too rich information to provide whereas they need me to slow down to basics. You might think teaching English or Vocabulary is easy. It’s not. It takes rigorous practice. It takes: counting, business, management, contacts and psychology along with discipline to be able to teach a class. And it takes a long time before you are paid with a decent salary. Dependencies tend to make you feel exploited. I think: uncertainty of life and nightmares like I had yesterday indicate: I was wrong about money most of my life. Having it makes you feel temporarily secure whereas in its absence you need to give up even the smallest of recreations, learning and development. No matter how good you think you are at them. I tried hard to inculcate minimalism among my neighbors and family of origin but I was not only met with immense resistance but also with magic. I had seen very few people practice minimalism as I did with as civility and I met immense resistance. It was becoming a Tokyo rapidly. Vegetable sellers. The nightmare had me watch my own body as darkness was eating my heart up: I wanted to see it suffering and to remove the root cause. Two of them: the haunting hounds who were using crooked means since long time were revealed to be behind most of the events. It said: “you needn’t become PM. Why are you doing this?” I was called home when wax in my ears was melting. And then the fall happened. If I had continued on my own : I would have been free and wealthy. It was the main reason.
8. I recalled: before those two who claimed to be friendly. Who came after five years in another setting : there were two who met me as I went to take admission into that academy with domes. The premise was spacious and it housed many pigeons as well as honeycombs. Little did I know that there was a conglomeration of adepts who were playing with me. Steven Greer’s documentary was out in the open. I hadn’t studied APJ Abdul Kalam’s book ‘Wings of Fire.’ in fact I disparaged him when I first heard about him. And this year turned about the vision. Twenty by twenty. It was the longest year. Most magical. Most fantastic. With Vallalar being the only accountable source of information on immortality. On reversal of aging. On vast effulgence of Grace. On Greek connection to Natarajan. On a game played with ball of nature of Sun which goes around the world. Planet Cricket. Multiverse. Height. Gravity. Time. Distance. Speed. Charge. Practice was hard to come by. I can’t say it’s what was promised. I am still looking for a space where no noises perturb for indefinite amount of time. That’s the only reward I was longing for since last fifteen years. My paradise was always troubled.
The Day Like That One!
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1. Aakriti Kuntal meant shape and hair. She said : “It’s an ode to your brilliance. My father was also into investment. He used to write articles for NewYork Times.”
2. I counted the utensils after washing them up. The stainless steel doesn’t get oxydized because iron is doped with impurity. It’s strange: pure iron gets that layer which erodes it away but mixing it with carbon makes it immune to decay as it comes in contact with moisture. The Moon was shining beautifully besides the tower : I had been to that tower which had graffiti written on it. I was late for the appointment and they said they needed to walk: I gave them the walk away so that someone might have a piece of a candy in peace.
3. “You stopped reading by the time you reached the second standard. That’s why you are not going to make it to the third standard. Now let’s learn some new words from encyclopedia: which type of plate do you prefer? Stainless steel: flat or round? Disposable plates: foam mattress or Sinbad the sailor from the cave near the fish tank. You do know how to count : don’t you?”
4. Sydney Sheldon was his favorite author. “How many novels have you really written so far?” He asked as we went on a trip. It was as if I recalled a dream: I woke up and saw the Sun towards the South. Later on: that window seemed to have disappeared magically.
5. He again brought noodles. I was looking for the tenet in the offshore development center. Shore means bank of an ocean. Do oceans have boundaries? It was a current affairs magazine. Police sirens used to haunt him in his early childhood but now he knew that they might be municipal vehicles or ambulance vehicles for he had mastered his impulses and learnt to keep them in check. He had read all four of the books but did he really understand them?
6. The ancient bird was moving towards the South West. I had developed a fondness for Rod Serling’s TV series Twilight Zone. It was much ahead of its time. Three balls: crayon, green and pink. Do you have minutes for me or seconds? Asked Thomas. Victory for the journey.
7. This time around: we wrote 8000 letters : all to our friends. To liberate those who were suffering from fever or hunger. The question is: can writing letters to your friends make them feel better. Yes it can: provided it helps them learn as well. What is there to learn? After all those years : you still don’t know if the Earth is Round or Flat? For aeons and aeons.
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1. The kid said no to class. Job offer no longer stands.
2. I read a bit in the library and catalogued books.
3. I had clear visuals today. In stadium, in academy where I reached by crossing the gate. I have told many people about the tally counters which can be worn on fingers. They should be available for sell in this city. In my vicinity.
4. A zeera seller asked me directions and I saw him thrice. A lady wearing glasses with a mole mark below her nose stopped by to take a call and she took two calls. She had couple of advertisers with her on a bike whose number added to 13.
5. I have to buy a bathing soap and eat a bada paav with chilli worth rupees 10. Do I own this smartphone? Or is it a legacy device? If I do: there shouldn’t be manipulation of things I can easily handle: like listening to music, counting, reading and writing. If I don’t : of what use is this device anyway? I will never be more than a puppet: barely writing anything. Barely reading anything. Forgetting addresses I already knew. Bowing to every passerby without working on my own. Immortality should be perfect liberation. Powers that stay at all times. Not the mind control.
6. I practiced body postures, alternate nostril breathing and forced exhalation. I took bath twice and went to take milk in the kitchen but seeing that two people were already present in the kitchen: I moved out listening to music. Why would my phone’s music be controlled by someone else?
7. God gift. Science?
Is it or is it not?
I was on a highway. I kept walking until I reached a tea stall. Then, there appeared certain herukas. I kept walking further until I reached the Twilight Zone. The bird I saw there was the bird I had seen in a Twilight Zone episode. Everything started to change at home. It was revealed that I was in bondage since a long time. I worked for my liberation and I needed to work for it on a regular basis. It meant : being able to walk in a stadium, watching the dancing light of Grace, seeing the game of the balls, playing it and being an immortal. The undying Grace I gained didn’t fetch me a sound proof room. In the darkest hours of my last night I heard that chirping of Crickets. I had heard it before. I had heard the sound of flute and I longed to hear it again. She was gone. I had seen her wearing dark glasses. I knew it that she was one of them: part of their Network. We wrote songs together: despite knowing that it was all a setup. I believed for a while until I could no longer believe. All dreams that I had seen since 2012 when the vision of light created a ceremony were shown to me repeatedly and they were not exactly the way I had seen them. One of the guides who appeared when my head was exploding remained with me as a friend for a long time. A reminder of my early days of school. I always had this difficulty to differentiate between realms until I went on long journeys and witnessed the miracles of dancing light of Grace. I saw those lights flashing on in the wilderness: just as the northern lights flash in the hall of gnosis. Just like Michael Talbert told in his book. I witnessed fractals and kabbalistic mysteries unveiled one after another in quick succession. It’s true: despite having gained the undying Grace: I needed to go on journeys to better grasping what I had studied. The network worked in strangely mysterious ways. All religions had merged into this dancing light of Grace. All merits that I had performed could not at times fetch me a glass of water.
I was always living among the adepts. I recognized it only in 2003. The fear of death was gone in 2009. But certain fears remained. I kept suffering because of them. I understood Yoga and sacrifice. Trees, birds, crows, Kingfishers, owls, dogs, people and guides : they all appeared together. Could I enjoy all the undying bliss available to me? It all seemed to have a prize tag. I was in a bigger market than ever before. Even in the most free of my discussions mother said : we were advertising some God or the other: some Creed or the other. Now Hollywood, then Bollywood. Now Vishnu, then Shiva. Now Buddhism, then Islam. Now Christianity, then true path as told by Vallalar. Pariah meant outcast. The Tamil puranam was a history of people who didn’t fit into communities. What would I have been known for then? I kept changing names and kept learning words until I saw how divine power merely changed guises but kept exercising itself in one way or the other. I wanted to live among adepts and adepts were waiting for me to mature. I certainly didn’t have this crushing workaday frame in my mind when I imagined pure realms of Buddhaverses. Perhaps they were impure dreams shown to me by a system which was not mature enough to interpret the way. I saw an old man who didn’t need me to salute him. He was carrying a staff and resembled Laotzu. The name I heard from Rishi and Osho. He was the most comfortable guy in that village. He belonged to none of the factions. I recalled the aery mansions and I saw the interrelated dimensions in which all the Karma was burnt in the awareness of knowledge. Do I have free will or do I not? If I am absolutely free, why would I create fetters for myself? Why would I create dirt, ignorance and matter and wrap myself with it? Why would I be bound to a name or date of birth or a certain way of living or clothing? Maybe I know all the answers. Maybe there are no questions. Maybe balance establishes itself. Maybe it doesn’t. Whether I know or not : I know it does. Maybe it doesn’t either. It is. It’s not.
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1. I went to stadium without an umbrella. It started to rain after I watched three boys play basketball.
2. At the pavilion: I observed some guys getting trained at various athletic exercises. I also observed a calm guy practicing meditation. I kept listening to divine melodies. My friends were playing cricket in the academy. They have cancelled the trip to Lavakushanagar. Vaibhav seems to have developed good bonding with the coach and the new entry from the Chetgiri Colony is an enthusiastic learner. The MVM boys who practiced catching the ball with me were disciplined in their approach.
3. I saw a student who took couple of English lessons from me when I used to go for long walks to Brijpura. I asked him why they stopped attending my classes and he replied: “girls in our batch had some problem.” The contract with the owner of the coaching didn’t mention any such problems. I tried my best to deliver and teach but he kind of disappeared from the scene : keeping the kids on the forefront. As on all previous occasions : whatever came through my mother, brothers or father or grandmother: always had duplicity or underhand tactics. Never stating clearly what was going on there. I was not there to take lessons but to teach and to earn a living. They made a joke of the contract and a joke of themselves as I had already written well in advance on this very blog. Good riddance.
4. I had a nice time in library reading some Vaishnava bhakti literature as I catalogued the books. Ankit: the oldest acquaintance in the Gandhi Bhavan greeted me from the “peeping tom” hole. I hastened to catalogue books and took no more than thirty minutes to get out. Two minutes extra.
5. It was rare to meet Dhaniraam outside the Poha shop near stadium. Prashant Khare and Vaibhav were present. They told that he never eats what is given to him and puts it on trees for birds. I didn’t know that about him. I gave him the samosa I was going to have and he also asked for a bit of Poha from the shop owner.
6. It was slightly difficult to walk as it was drizzling and slippers were slipping. I was also concerned about the safety of the smartphone.
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1. Here we have three players in the academy. It rained, therefore I brought an umbrella. I planned on collecting the garbage for disposal but I have to postpone it.
2. I played vocabulary quiz listening to music after waking up from a dream, only fragments of which I recalled.
3. I met very few familiar faces on my way to here. Morning session was excellent as I had a lot to watch and learn. I had an active participation in the match with players who were practicing off the nets.
4. In library I enlisted a few titles and walked back. The breakfast today was special in way that it reminded me of two separate identities or lifetimes. Twenty years ago, this man used to bring samose to our school which is located nearby. Then I met him in the stadium and he gave three pieces for ten rupees. They were one for one rupee twenty years ago. I felt they were tastier today.
5. That guy who is my favourite player couldn’t bat for long as his team was all out before they could score enough runs. I also watched him bowl : he is learning at a rapid rate.
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Help alleviate the hunger in the world.
1. I had a good night’s sleep.
2. In the cricket academy: the coach asked my whereabouts. I told him the bare facts. What would have been the use of telling him about the journey. I asked him if it was a trouble to be around. He said that it was quite the contrary. That he liked my presence.
3. The Twilight was one of the most beautiful songs and paintings wrapped in mysterious songs of birds returning to their nests. I saw bats dancing. Perhaps it was closest to what I might have called home. Comfortable playing ground. Playing the ball. Eons and eons. Homage to vallalar and the ethereal shrine in Thillai.
4. I have been training for more work than I had done before. My forte turns out to be vocabulary and it’s wise to coach students only for basic grammar and vocabulary instead of teaching them all the subjects. This is the conclusion I have reached after many months of experience.
5. Walking. Counting. Vocabulary. Advertisements. Interrelationships. These are the most highlighted domains I have been working on. Though the scientific method is there it mostly eludes.
6. The game with the balls. Dancing light of Grace. Rests in peace.
7. Parish Church. Pariah puranam. Pariah means outcastes. Civan welcomed all into his team irrespective of class, caste or creed. Ramananda, Kabir, Raidas and Valmiki are shining examples of middle age saints who gained fruition after living like outcastes. They opened their doors for all and helped them gain eternal life like Christ
White Path Was Not Always White! Ethereal shrine in Thillai!
1. After the initiation in Delhi: I was investigating mandalas. I was given two names at the moments of most severe headache and suffering. It was almost when I was delirious: first one was Vaibhav Choubey Galla Mandi, Chattarpur. Second was: Subhash Ahirvaar who used to visit the Gandhi smarak bhavan. Why were they special? Because the transition was unique and much needed. Family members or memes in form of popular politicians, friends or neighbours were tainted. But these people, the new ones had least amount of dirt and they signified my perfection in terms of being aware of transition between realms.
2. When the curtain was lifted: there was no sweetheart. I had many coconuts abound. I had spent time in search of perfect enlightenment for many eons. Was Ramalinga the Vallalar an adept, like Patanjali or Shakyamuni or was it merely a myth like Vaasudev Shri Krishna and Narayana the sage? I had spent many rounds merely deciphering lingo of Bundelkhand region comparing it to Hindi, Sanskrit and English words. Fractals, Teleportation and other technology remained mystery. Not more than what was available during childhood days in form of popular songs and videos was available. I learned to appreciate modesty. I learned to economize and to be charitable.
Mummies and Egyptian mysteries!
1. Mummies are here.
2. Egyptian mysteries have been here all along. I know now how pyramids were built. And how the Tajmahal and other forts or empires were built. I know by the grace of the dancing light.
3. I saw the play of balls. Ramalinga Swami Paradesi the prophet was the most authentic among authors who told how he achieved adept status. I had been through many cycles learning and forgetting but now consolidated wisdom says I must credit the sage Vallalar.
4. I went to the Cricket academy and after four days I was allowed to play for a few minutes with kids there. I had a good time walking in the stadium as it was in 2017 when I was studying knights of Templar. Thereafter I could never enter the stadium for two days in a row. The police van coloured blue said bye and came back today.
5. I have a better understanding of archetype necessary to feel free. I understand parallel evolution of worlds material and spiritual and this dance of gnosis doesn’t leave me. The internet or the fifth wave of interconnections is the grand revealation which was foretold by the Wachowski brothers.
6. Dreams have been fulfilled and I have been working in more capacities than I was aware of.
7. Mysteries revealed and unvieled.