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Charvaka: Yavat Jeevet Sukham Jeevet!

1. Despite being tired I write this.

2. I write this only and only because it’s the purest and most authentic of my body of Gnosis. It’s what remains when everyone around has abandoned me. It has revived me: time and again. Ideas with a stamp of actual experience: free from indoctrination.

3. I borrowed another hundred rupees note from Vandana with a promise to return the money by the first of November when I receive payment from my patrons: four fifty rupees.

4. I also took an advance payment of two hundred rupees from the secretary: my other employer. She looks at it not like a loan because she gives it to many employees working under her. Here I have witnessed Mahajani forever and I could understand true import of Time only in the year 2020. The events worth all previous years combined together happened in this year. This isn’t to make me feel happy about how much my knowledge body or chitta or experience has increased : but to underline that despite UG and others: there’s some solid foundation on which various departments of knowledge or experience are based. This is the language of a believer who has the power to negate everything.

5. Bhagvata Purana as well as Hindu scriptures are nothing but formulae to protect mind. If I had a teacher like myself: I would have been given free access to library I visit now. Saatvat Tantra versus Shaiva Tantra are practical ways to survive in the world. People here could never accept me or my way of living: which is fine: everyday you see countless gutka shakers coloring walls: though they worship goddess of opulence who loves cleanliness.

6. Chanting one name gives one pointedness : but to be able to maintain the environment: where you practice: you need to espouse diversity. This needs stories and fables which are carved in the shape of environmental prototypes.

7. When the horse which is to be sacrificed in the Ashvamedh of Vedic bramhins listens its praises: in forms of various hymns: it thinks : they are for me. Then comes the invisible owner of the horse. It’s Arabic. Gulzar has summed it up in Lakdi ki Kathi…

8. The Hayagriva is appreciated as avatara in one canto of Bhagvata and criticized as the thief who stole Vedas from Bramha in another.

9. I was reading Jainism’s Philosophy: as far as ‘hope’ is considered: it’s the most optimistic of philosophies: it says : you are a soul which can attain perfect enlightenment. Samkhya and Yoga are similar with Jnana and Opulences being countless and ever incremental. Buddhism was one step ahead: it took a stop at enlightenment which was known as Arhat and told about dependent arising: denying soul as well as supersoul. Empty souls or elementals or tanha are Wandering Souls in purgatory or inbetween schemes in Buddhism and Christianity.

10. The book clearly tells: the Vedic bramhins didn’t have complete understanding of transmigration of soul until they borrowed it from Buddhism during Upanishads era. Hinduism being inclusive : included Buddha as an avatar of Vishnu and made it look like it was always so.

11. Ambrosia. Light. Rudra Granthi. Vishnu Granthi. Bramha Granthi. Vishwaroopam of Geeta: are all my first hand experiences supported by books. Logos or the word brought light and counting or Kabbalah taught me to survive.

12. World bank, USA, India : they are all in loan. Even the goddess of wealth might be in loan. I am free. I owe nothing to nobody. It’s a FACT to the best of my knowledge.

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Commitments

1. I scored 112451 ranks in six jams on Vocabulary.com.

2. Most of my commitments to coach students were so short-lived that i could barely introduce them to techniques which might help them master English vocabulary. Why is it so? Most of them drift away. Most of them don’t have enough resources. Most of their communities come to teach me instead of learning from me. They pretend as if they want to learn English but mostly they are about hearsay and moral chastisement. Imagine taking character certificate from sons and daughters of Satan : repeatedly until the end of times. It’s Sisyphean task.

3. I had a nice time practicing bowling in the evening session. I bowled 65 times, took couple of pictures and watched others play. I also heard some quality music. The attestation to having divorced the Mula constellation: even if it’s only partially: is to be able to create events without getting bored. Mula born get bored very easily. 2020 was the year when I mastered boredom and also grasped some nuances of transmigration of soul as per Buddhism and Hinduism. Egyptian mysteries elude.

4. if it says anywhere that some souls burn in hell fire forever: I have read Quran but I only found: Aleph, Liam, meme and shin in it. I had only this much to say and I said this to a muslim teacher and scholar as well: What about those who are already in hell? Who suffers? Is it not the Allah? Then : there must be another agency: discover that agency which is present in both heaven, hell as well as in inbetween. Moreover: Muhammad himself would have known what it’s like to recall previous painful memories when revelations happen: if he was never completely free from the pain they created for him how could he have laid down laws in stone: like Moses and others? It was like writing in prison where no free will exists whatsoever.

5. Purgatory and then back to Earth, Heaven and so on are better concepts. I don’t see various religions as more than vying for spacetime and energy in their domains. Vikram, Hizri, Christian and other eras: all memories of great wars and further wars: era of Donald Bradman, Kapil Dev, Tendulkar, Gandhi, Pele, Modi and Trump. Everyone fighting for the bigger piece of bread. Basically: animal kingdom shown as religious kingdom. Conditions given in Purana for attaining Godhead are so difficult that most human beings have no salvation. Has singularity been reached: are actually machines in charge here? What about Steven Greer’s Disclosure? Where are Sirius, Orion and other civilization beings? Will police and military be back to stadium and streets which are already overpopulated and overcrowded? I don’t have any answer.

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Kapil: Siddheshwar!

1. The Happy Prince: I discussed the gist with my student who had received a birthday gift from Byju’s. A compass box. Oscar Wilde was the author academy awards were named after in my imagination when I merely came across his quotes and bio in my college days. I told her what the story meant for me:

2. It had reference to many gems: garnet, ruby, sapphire etc. The birds represent freedom of wings with vulnerability. The statue represents past glory. I narrated another event: the officer who worked in the post office had a house in my neighborhood. I visited him once while I was living in the Mahaveer Colony. He said something to disparage Gandhi by telling me that great people like Gandhi get stamps issued in their names. People either put their sputum or a stamping hammer on tickets. In other words: they’re not respected. The man died in a few days with a brain tumor. He was commenting on my headache. I would never understand what really transpired that night in November.

3. The girl right outside the Sulabh Complex which has a photo of Suresh Raina did the same thing I had done with my glasses the moment another bespectacled girl was jogging. I had heard John Lennon’s “imagine.” Aleph. Meme. Shin.

4. Memes develop into sins. The pleasure has a price. As long as you are meritorious: your sins remain invisible: as soon as you are out of power you need to undergo knee operation or you leave your body and move into another. I wonder where people go after leaving their bodies. The wonder happens about particular people: like Gandhi or Atal Bihari Vajpayee. I understand that theoretically it’s all well contained.

5. I was thinking about Kapil who is called Siddheshwara and founder of Samkhya system of Philosophy of ancient India. The previous few blog posts do bear his name. The news flashed in the noon: Kapil Dev Nikhanj, former captain of Indian cricket team and a military colonel has been admitted to the hospital after he complained about pain in chest. He was an all-rounder and played a memorable inning of 175 against Zimbabwe in the 1983 world cup. This is the kind of thing I have been observing in the whole last year of 2020. A kind of tryst with Death in some way or the other.

6. I might get my lowers stitched by tomorrow morning. The hammers haven’t let me relax here in noon. I need to borrow money to get shaved as trimmer isn’t working.

7. I wondered if all the talk about pure body of gnosis and bliss was just that: talk. Then there remains nothing worth pursuing: if there’s no eternal liberation and beauty: it’s as good as being dead. If you merely get one life: it’s better to die as soon as possible and if you are supposed to die repeatedly: it’s better to learn to defeat death.

8. I had a nice sandwich. The saatvat Tantra owes all to Narada: it’s Vaishnava version of Shaiva agamas. Abhinavagupta of Kashmir included bliss in the peace. S for Sapera. The nath sampradaya had Nisargadatt of Mumbai who told that bliss was more of nature of peace. We tend to strive for what’s considered standard: like a bowling action, a way of living or a way of talking etcetera. All religions and striving are make-believe.

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Hindi Alphabet!

1. I scored 12135 in vocabulary jams. It was only five marks gap between me and the top spot in the second.

2. The morning bowling session was pleasant. I bowled sixty times. It means ten overs. (Yesterday’s draft)

3. I again counted the vowels, consonants and total number of alphabets in the English and Hindi alphabets and showed it to my student:

4. In 2018 I knew that Chi is the twenty second letter of Greek alphabet.

5. The twenty third letter of Hindi alphabet, taken from Devnagari script, which was previously Bramhi script is a strange symbol. The pronunciation of all touch letters: has a triplet of extra symbols which represent four voids of Hindi alphabet: The first void:

6. Comes at end of the ta for takli(charkha) sequence’s end second at the ta for tamatar(🍅 tomato) sequence’s end: it’s similar to Da for Damroo but with a dot (.) Which is placed above half of its height. It’s inverted 🧲 with its sides facing upwards .

7. The fourth void comes at end of Cha Chha… sequence: it has a shape like a 🧲 hanging on a nail:

8. The (Aha!): which comes as the 13th vowel in some schemes or 14th in some others: represents divine beauty: throat Chakra. Chitta shakti as well as Sundaram aspect of Satyam Shivam Sundaram. Om. Ah. Hum.

9. Antastha letters group as per Bhagvatam: don’t have Gya for Gyani. Jnani is usual way to write them. In both cases it comes in touch(sparsh) group. Laharpure.

10. Ushma letters begin with Sh for Shalgam, Sa for Samarth, Sha for hexacomb (honeycomb): Ha for Hathi, Ksha for Kshatriya to Tra for Travancore.

11. Here you have the Tohu verse:

Hachure. Ha! Sure. Erasure.

Era sure Suresh reshma mash-up

Sparsh laharpure

Purevuueouvremnantennastylerdurdensmesnemesisalarmistylusulcustardentureeneerodomontadeodoranticleonasmaritanagermaneoterickshawkerchiefernostockademandingdonghongkongombroonoorunictussellatedramatistupendousundrydencumberancesspooloopholeslowlupinewoodentistylishiphoperandoughtyporousororitykenophobeliskyrocketingimcracknowledgedolittleylanductapelikenumeratedufferotictactoenailsnailsumptuousoliloquy

12. Either a total of 46 or 47 letters. English has 26 and Greek has twenty two. Numbers win. Sanskrit is richer than English or Greek. India, China and Japan have Delhi, Tokyo and Shanghai: not respectively: we win. Let Trump keep saying that we are responsible for polluting the Ozone layer. It doesn’t matter. He illuminati. He free masonry.

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What comes next?

1. Ten overs. Leaves falling. Plenty of beauty.

2. Sanskrit. Hindi. English.

3. Narayan. Vaasudev. Vallalar. Arhat. Arukkar. Buddha.

4. I am getting better at finding spots. It means: practice makes you better at anything. Practice and detachment from the distractions or pitfalls.

5. Kapil of Discovery of India is different from Kapil of Bhagvata. Nakul. Venus enters Virgo shortly.

6. What’s next?

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Evening session!

1. 221622: six jams on vocabulary.com. Average rank: 2.5.

2. Jagjit Singh singing Mirza Ghalib’s ghazal. The exit from the garden of Eden happened first for the Satan, aka Lucifer, governor of mind. Demiurge. Yaldabaoth etcetera. Then it happened for children of God: the best of creation. The question is: what’s the difference? The difference is: being smarter than humans he rules the Netherlands then redemption happens to humans, then redemption happens to him, then, again the show must go on. It’s not as easy as I have made it look here but it’s true to the best of my knowledge. In a way: God wanted the Satan to rule in proxy, therefore he created toys for him and then created the whole act of exit and so on: the third Reich: Shin. If I think like that I might appear like Satan. But in that scheme: God is one and only godhead and always remains same. The Satan can never become God. It can only lure some more sparks and mould them until they generate enough energy to break through the egg. All promises of deliverance and all shows of bondage are by Satan, for Satan and so on. Godhead is there to be apprehended. Then you become Satan. Then you continue as Satan for eternity. Or: you’re always the godhead. It became it. Satan is merely a shadow. A temporary shadow for play. Pick any version or don’t.

3. Atheists accumulate material power but are always puzzled by death, diseases and afterlife. After they enter afterlife and appreciate the divine or satanic plan for universes: they see the beauty without gods of archons and realize that though there is no God they need to believe in something to keep going on: either in energy or in happiness being goals of the sum total of their activities.

4. Could ball ten overs quite easily. Toes ache. Weather pleasant. If October was a permanent month or maybe November: weather wise: I wouldn’t mind. It’s better than Spring I think. If you have enough food and internet : winters are a blessing. Now that I have outgrown euthanasia : I don’t have any doubts.

5. I am happy to have a good time. I don’t know if it will continue.

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Rocky!

1. I feel lazy. Lazy people can afford to be lazy. I spent some time editing the previous article’s typos. Weather is pleasant once again. I bowled ten overs. It’s the latest version of bowling practice:

A. If the spot is empty: begin practice.

B. Choose a spot where ball has least probability of getting lost.

C. If others come to practice batting: politely refuse: they will neither care for ball getting lost nor pay you money if your ball is lost. You also need to run all over the place to collect the ball.

D. If they want you to help them practice with their ball: it’s fine: then you only get to burn energy and gain skill as well as cooperation.

E. The last ball I lost: it was a hard earned treasure. Some kids kept asking me to give it to them. Then: I chose a place which has a swimming pool just behind the pavilion with bushes and algae.

F. Saying ‘no’ is better than borrowing money from people to buy balls.

G. Watch and learn: don’t rely on promises made by boys or damsels: though they look attractive: most often they fail to fulfill. If you want to survive: you need the ball. Nothing better than it to bring the play online in focus. Then you need to protect it like a hard earned treasure.

H. Needless to say: if I had extra balls or money I would have given it to begging kids today or to those who were begging to get money. But: if I begin doing this: the question arises: who is genuine and who is merely hoarding balls at his or her house.

I. I saw a young girl leading the way on running track for her four or five siblings. It might be one of the most beautiful things I have seen. Yet: some kids looked malnutritioned. It’s a fact.

J. I saw “Neev-Shila” by Shri Shrinivas Shukla, M.A., L.L.B. of Chhatarpur in library today. I read some verses. The central pavilion has been named after him. The track where I practice was inaugurated by Digvijay Singh. The stadium is known as Baburam Chaturvedi Stadium. One entrance also had name of Swami Pranavananda engraved on it. History is written by conquerers: Modi is on mission Bengal. Let’s see who performs better over there. It would be as interesting as Trump’s mission in USA.

K. Rocky.

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146274

1. The title means : I received first, fourth, sixth, second, seventh and fourth ranks in the vocabulary jams I played on vocabulary.com after my bowling practice. Some games had as many as ninety players and most of them had forty to seventy players on an average. My reaction time is not as good as it should be, still, being in the top five on an average means I am doing better than most. Accuracy can be improved at the cost of reaction time. To maintain both needs constant practice. I have limited time to do that. When I was in dire need of smartphone I could not practice. Now I need to toil to get internet recharge vouchers. It’s what it’s.

2. A total of 130 balls today. It’s more than twenty one overs. The bunch of kids did this:

They came together: one of them called another bald. Then the third one slapped the one who did that. It was as soon as I looked at him with wonder. Who are these people, where do they come from? (Arshad Warsi, Jolly LLB, the dialogue was repeated ad nauseum when movie was to be released on some TV channel)

They were kids in sixth or seventh class mostly. What is the difference between mockery done by elders and them?

In case of elders: a guy who has gray hairs will be called names by another without shame. It’s directed at the person who is being made fun of: so that there remains no logical error. It takes plenty of effort, jealousy, hatred and guts. But it’s a regular business for some people. Byaj Ninda or Byaj Stuti is the format name given to such devices in Hindi literature.

I have also come across some naive people who mocked me without having sound logical foundation. It was happening in the group Gaslight phase. It worked until you were watching. As soon as you looked at them: their logical fallacy was caught and they were suspended in embarrassment.

Fake problems like diseases: Corona and AIDS. Police and shamans working hand in hand with priests to subdue independent individuals is the worst form of nightmare you can see. Municipal corporation walls being dirtiest. All gutka shakers uniting to protect some weird wicker men Dharma.

I have shown you three levels of gaslighting. If children enjoy it: so do elders. It’s all about numbers. My demeanor changes when I walk with four people. When I am alone: I am most real. The other might be hell as per Sartre or Da Vinci or illusion as per vedantins or your own mind’s production as per Samkhya or Yoga tradition; you do need a way to behave with others. Call it a strategy or call it civility or religion. It’s what makes history of mankind.

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Events Horizon!

1. Ashutosh Thakur, son of upper collector, Tikamgarh is jobless. He did B. Lib. and M. Lib. from Hari Singh Gaur University Sagar. It was in 2016. Since then he applied to many colleges in Chhatarpur and Nowgong but only met rejection everywhere. He works at a cyber cafe with a meagre income of three hundred rupees per month. His body didn’t show any signs of hardwork done physically. His eyes had dark circles and complexion was fair with enough hair on head and bushy eyebrows. It took me a few minutes to understand his need after he entered into library. Most libraries told him

“two librarians aren’t needed.” I thought he came to join library as a member and told him the procedure as well as fees.

2. Devendra came to say hello, disappeared and later appeared only to make me refuse invitation to his theatrical production of Vijay Tendulkar’s play :

“Jaat Hi Poochho Saadhu Ki.”

The title is contrary to Kabir’s popular saying. It seems to be a critique of social esteem given to monks and hierarchies. Devendra also teaches dance classes but there are no classes at present. I can’t afford to be among theatre people.

3. I was looking for the news in today’s newspaper. A murder. Piyush talked about it yesterday evening but it didn’t happen. It wasn’t reported.

4. The Haigo girl told me in advance that she won’t take classes after this month. It’s a blessing. She asked me to wait until the thirty first before, but now it’s evident. I felt a bit down for a while but then consolidated my strength as I have nothing to lose.

5. I borrowed a hundred rupees from Vandana and told her that I would give them back by the first of November. The secretary also said that I would get an advance if needed.

6. There are as many tutors as students. I hardly get any jobs. The only positive this morning was the bowling session: I bowled ten overs and played four to five jams where I scored top ranks.

7. I read a few passages from Nehru’s Discovery of India. It’s clear that his account of Kapil doesn’t match with Geetapress Gorakhpur’s version.

8. The madman who stays near Brijpura met me near Anjana Doodh Dairy. I asked him why he came so far. He told me it was for buying clothes: in his symbolic language. A cow was thirsty. I exercised my left arm a bit and tried to control myself by eating less than what is usual these days.

9. Vidyasagar Nautiyal, son of Narayan and Ratna was born near Tehri. His story “Maatiwaali” was read by my student. I could only focus on snippets. The refrain was:

” Is hunger sweeter or the food?”

I explained the class struggle in the poem. I told her about the dependent arising of sweetness. It’s dependent on meeting of hunger with food. Independently they have no sweetness. Sanskrit is a creative language whereas Hindi is an analytical language. Hinduism is an inclusive religion, Buddhism is an analytical philosophy. Jainism honoured classes in society and became almost integral with Hinduism which only objected perfect nonviolence. Buddhism couldn’t. Some ideas were inspired by Nehru’s comparison between Buddhism and Jainism.