1. I bowled 70 times. About 12 overs. As soon as I entered the stadium: I observed policemen inspecting the helipad circle. I could only bowl an over when one gunman began ordering the evacuation of the place. I went to Shatabdi ground where I could ball for a while and also watched others play.
2. There were 14 people standing outside the stadium in a circle with a flag. There were 7 yesterday. One of them with a burly figure showed up yesterday when the hacking event happened. It might just be a speculation but his demeanor along with that of three boys who made a remark : was an admission of their act.
3. I need to play some jams to get in shape.
4. A man with bushy eyebrows on a scooty which had police written on it showed a left hand very late on a turn. He looked like a retired man. Then another sweeper asked me the address to Seetadevi ITI: I told him two ways, after which a man, a lady and a child: all with tilak signs on their forehead called him back to add something to their previous conversation.
1. The helipad dimensions: radius 17 feet. H: 8 by 10. There was a guy in yellow shirt who took a picture. Another bespectacled biology college student named Mohit enquired about the arrival of the dignitaries. Suyash.
2. I bowled 181 times and it did seem like a cakewalk. Aryan asked me if I had change for five hundred. I told him I might have fifty or hundred rupees in my purse. I know that it was a tease. Another boy named Anuj who studies Maths in standard eleventh in delight school asked about me batting. I only bowled but it’s a repeat pattern. Chelpa birds. Guarding the ball like a treasure because you can’t buy another. I showed a bull out. The lawyer who took my seating space at the sprouted grains/fruit salad shop couple of years ago: was eating a chat masala on stairs on the southern side. A bald man accompanied him. The kids also sat there for a while. The grandpa was running with protected baby. The kid whose brother had joined academy and who had his finger injured : told me about not playing anymore because of Corona. The puss that went out of my thumb is a match.
3. I should be thankful for not getting my music hacked in the evening. I told the tale of Narasimha incarnation to the kid. I had played with them but expecting any consistency was too much. Narasimha: Manticore: Egypt: Sphinx: Nile:Mishra: Neil: Nitin: Mukesh: Jhonny Gaddar. It’s a pattern for sure. I tried to observe if the helipad and the toilet were aligned with the pavilion door where they practice Yoga. It wasn’t.
4. The girl running brought treasures. Actually I only recalled that I had forgotten to carry my purse after taking the bath. It was the third in the series of girls running.
5. The scenes I saw as the shinning up towers went to the infinity : are wonderful scenes oh companion: if you’re over there, somewhere!
6. Anant is an animal alright. An ant on pennant. Tenant ten ants. Slanted ted talks. As Tesla said: I have only gained and gained : and he wouldn’t have died a painful death. You’re not usually there to witness the falling of discarded garments.
7. You might go back to witness the complete picture. Archons. Seth. Satan. Saturn. Shiva or Vishnu.
Ghanshi!
Ghanshi is a homeless lady. After having roamed around in the colony : she settled just outside the house where I live. Would people who keep track of my porn history and the number of times I jerk off: the secret police and likes take care of her? Would they help her reach an old age shelter? Would they let her stay at an ashrama where she need not do fire rituals outside a house: a ritual which is her eating rotis made on polybags when she can’t get them readymade from a house nearby? What about psychiatrists and those working in Pradhanmantri Aawas Yojna? Is it too much or less important than keeping track of my porn history and jerking off? I really don’t know. This is a strange society indeed! She has been outside just one house for more than seven-eight months. Dhaniram is better in that regard. Not as tragic!
8. This was an eventful day. I rest the case here until I get another. If those kids were there by chance: it was too much of a coincidence: which I don’t believe in anymore as I have seen too much of designs in recent years. But the method which inspires them or gives them the incentive is what intrigues and remains a mystery as of now.
1. 23333422 were ranks on various vocabulary jams. I enjoyed playing. There were forty to fifty players on an average.
2. Bowled 80 times this evening. It adds up to 151 times total during the day, which is 25 overs and a ball in a single day! It’s a record. I could accomplish this easily because: I had a proper diet and rest plan. The run ups were short. The pitch was much better than the one near the badminton court.
3. I am happy with whatever I could accomplish today. Yet: as I had to borrow 200 rupees from Vandana: the loan can’t be paid until I receive the fees from students. If I had known this dire poverty in advance: I might have changed my course somewhere: perhaps easily accepting my collapse and getting admitted into a hospital in Bangalore than getting dependent on these people who did nothing good but to systematically destroy my career in the last eight years. If any money or security was put by them in my early years: it has been annuled by them in the last eight years when I was systematically suppressed and false promises were made to me. I wasn’t let leave(once I came here!) for a place where I had gone to after taking renunciation. My documents were seized and they ensured that I always earn a meagre income to stay indebted. But who could have known all of this in advance? And here I am: drinking ambrosia: someone who never gets ill, someone who is an immortal, my most advanced version. Yet: I don’t have enough money to meet my day-to-day needs. What has this world come to! Whatever happened to the dreams. Opened my eyes to see wretchedness all around me. Hollow people hollow promises. Whatever happened to the dreams. What has this world come to.
4. Walk to stadium was pleasant. Stadium had enough space. I feel relaxed as knee ache is gone.
1. I just read what I had written six hours ago and though I usually don’t judge myself the last post seems to have been written by a drunk and yet it was ambrosia. The nectar of immortality plus some words.
2. I practiced alternate nostril breathing and bowling in stadium. Fortunately I got some space where some municipal corporation employees were sweeping. Prior to that I had a special juice worth ten rupees. This bitter juice is said to be “death” of 350 uncontrollable diseases. I am death of deaths if Shukadev was right. Go figure!
3. I bowled 71 times. This was after a long time. I only slept for three hours and had a wonderful session in morning : all because I took a break and slept for three hours yesterday noon.
4. News is getting unnecessarily dramatic. As is more. The elections in so many places are timed by electional astrology and yet: those who have the final say: the eye of the eye of the pyramid and its crown : remain unknown to the masses.
5. I should play some vocabulary jams. And donate some rice. No Claire G or PC at this hour : though Stephen might turn up. ( Stephen didn’t. Hang L did. Got second rank in two of them.)
6. Supernatural season 15 finale taught me more about Chuck. Though they create ‘on the go;’ Chuck is definitely demiurge. Not the Godhead. Jack the son of Lucifer is going to get killed. Sam seems to have aged more than Dean. Crowley wasn’t there. The library of death scene was epic. I got acquainted with something called “empty.” Though Supernatural is not perfect : there’s no substitute to it! This finale didn’t have as many special effects but it showed death and black hole to be more powerful than darkness and light. Light who is a demiurge? Mister Singer and Dabb have all the answers.
1. The guy was wearing glasses. His assistant served me. Then he handed me over the plastic spoon. The assistant was slow. I was in awe of the quality of rice: they looked like Basmati grade. The Chhole curry and plastic spoon. It was only ten rupees per plate! I couldn’t believe my good fortune. It was only on rare festive occasions that such rice was made here in this house and it was always a tense affair here. There, you had it all under a tree, looking at the open sky. When I asked him if I would find him there everyday: he replied in affirmative. He has begun to serve kulcha from today onwards. I really trust him when he says:” I am an artist; glad even if I get my investment back.”
2. Phantom’s song: pehle kyun na mile hum…tanha hi kyun chale hum…was ringing in my ears when I had this plate of pulav. I requested for another plate. This was the best meal of the year after the bread soaked in the sweet milk bought from Neelesh Milk Dairy.
3. It took some time before full import of his words was revealed. I realized that he goes to serve in ceremonies or delivers upon orders. It was mostly for festivals and his everyday practice was to keep him in shape.
4. Shri had to take another test. She had classes for about four hours out of five. I observed her real voice for the first time when she was rooting for marks in the test. I knew that it was hidden somewhere. If she had done her homework it wouldn’t have become a test but the process instilled the meaning of words as well as the technique to learn and retain the meaning.
5. KK finally surrendered. This usually happens with young people and in such cases experience proves to be right. I had issued three books for two girls who didn’t turn up either to read book or to submit the security deposit or fees. Unless I had been prompt: the librarian plus other chains of command would have caught me by my collar and hectored me. Now books are with KK who might read them or return them. It’s not violation of any law of the library.
6. Madam secretary put some oil into the lock and it worked. Her practical intelligence is immense in that sense. She can drive tractor, stitch, attend prayer meetings, speak English, Oriya, Bengali and she has clairvoyant powers as well.
7. Sprinklers in the field need study. I read a story by Munshi Premchand. It was titled “Prarabdh.” It was from the collection of 23 stories named “Mansarovar.” The story felt much better than the one I read yesterday. Yesterday’s story was by Tagore. I feel Tagore was a better poet than a storyteller or maybe I have read very little of him. I had his Geetanjali in my college days which I used to show to every visitor. This story by Premchand has its protagonist going through various delirious states and delusions before finally committing suicide. The story was chosen by me at random, like yesterday’s, and yet they both highlighted importance of destiny and inbetween life and death when intelligence becomes subtle and delusions strike.
7. I bowled thirty times. The stadium hardly had ten or twelve people when I reached and I could practice peacefully.
1. Brijesh met after the last time announcement: “it has become very black…now let it become brighter.” The comment was loud, like a jibe, to a Sardar who was standing near a JIO stall just besides Veena Omkar’s newly furnished house. This time around we shaked hands. He asked for the contact number but I wanted to ensure if he recalled the event in which he became a bridge on which I drove my bicycle. He nodded and said there were many fond memories. Then upon being asked he told about his gas agencies, biggest gym in city and some other enterprise. It means he’s an entrepreneur. I once borrowed a book on magic from him. We were in class third or fourth then. I also went as far as bus stand : walking alone to buy a book on magic in my early childhood. I was as adventurous and fearless then as I am now.
2. The chapter on Albert Einstein was named “A truly beautiful mind…” It had some points where Einstein was funny or humane but it was mostly a gifted individual: a Scorpion researcher and a Piscean cusp. His exalted Venus and Debilitated Mercury are highlighted even in his birthday: 5 as root number and 6 as life path number. Five is ruled by Mercury whereas 6 is ruled by Venus. Methodical uneven.
3. Got my head shaved. It was a relief. I saw a book by Dalai Lama on introduction to Buddhism and Tantric meditation. I also read some portions from Shri Aurobindo’s biography. The barber was emphasizing the importance of earning at least three hundred rupees per day and I told him I was not getting that much. He also didn’t have any income yesterday.
4. Spotify advertisement: mutual funds and premium versions of the app. One of the ads has so many uses of “we” by a single subject that you feel bored. Then as advertisement is over: infomercial telling you about there being no advertisement for next thirty minutes takes another ten seconds : the ad before the ad opened also took the same amount. Ultimately: ads ad nauseum. But there’s no exception.
1. After taking the permission to enter into the kitchen to drink couple of glasses of water, I drank it and cleansed the glass: then, before coming to library I reported it to the secratary who was showing some seeds to the head of the trust. I had to report it because it was necessary. If working in corporate culture taught me anything it was : showing off and reporting every little odd thing you do. It keeps you relevant else you are forgotten sooner than you think. Her Capricorn smile made me feel that it was not required to report but I felt I did the right thing. It was a lot of garbage as theater guys don’t do any cleansing. You find scraps of paper, newspapers, cold drinks, coffee pouches and whatnot inside the library. It’s a good riddance that they are gone for now but they’ve left a lot of stuff behind. They might be back with another show.
2. Shri would attend the class only by 12 which meant I could sweep and register a few books and do this quick post as well.
3. The police and other staff members related to election commission have surrounded the stadium and school number one. Every square foot has police and it’s crowded. It’s the month of Scorpion: the Sun along with Venus is debilitated in the Samaya but Moon is exalted with the North node in the sign of Bull. The South node is exalted in the sign of Scorpion dictating terms with retrograde rays from Jupiter’s own sign which is also the Jaimini Atmakaraka in the sign of Scorpion in navamansa.
Library: facing West! Left is Right. Right is Wrong.
4. I had a cold bread pakoda outside the first classroom. The fruit salad was meagre and tasteless: a waste of twenty rupees. I recall days when I used to have fruit salad in Cognizant auditorium or in Minal residency. My good fortune was too short lived so I need to keep going back to memories.
5. Poha thela was crowded with policemen and it would have taken me ten minutes before I got a plate inside my body.
6. Alternate nostril breathing and twelve balls: only this much time was available though I had a good breakfast in morning.
7. Where have the vocabulary jammers gone is a mystery to me. I plan on watching a science fiction movie but then change it because not many decent movies are available.
8. I need to buy a lock for library. Another twenty or forty rupees of expenditure. I bought two disposable pens worth five. It’s important to find time to play vocabulary quiz on Free Rice site.
1. Since Piyush went to his village with his mom: I was left with extra couple of hours. I tried playing vocabulary jams but my getting first or second ranks consistently as there were only 12 to 13 players on most of them made me bored.
2. I decided to watch a science fiction movie. I put the phone to charge and got some rest. As I was taking rest I thought about finding my romantic thread and publishing it here. It’s a story which makes me wiser everytime I write it. It’s made of delusions.
3. Now I can say: I created this blog to anonymously continue to publish things which were not related to previous blogs. Soon I gained enough confidence to integrate it with previous blogs.
4. Gaslighting reached to an extent in my life that offline and online was same. People mostly disliked me or they had a very odd way of expressing their fondness : I am infamous. Despite being humble as far as my possessions and income are concerned.
5. Police, shamans, tantrikis and healers know me the most though not in that very order. Secret police is always after me.
6. I can say: Gandhi took at least sixty years of his life to reach a clarity where he could publish about his most private affairs: like sleeping with his grandniece as an experiment for his celibacy (citation Wikipedia) : not that it was liked by his closest staff members. Not that it was really a success but mere admission was an accomplishment in an indian subcontinental setting.
7. I achieved that by the age of 35. And I understand that Gandhi was very popular. I am not as popular. Perhaps I am known only to a fraction of number of people who knew Gandhi : yet I think there was no indian with a greater courage to admit one’s foibles. To clarify: I didn’t sleep with any grandniece or niece or such but I was able to publish online most of my private life without hesitation.
8. I think Buddha’s four noble truths: like the four noble truths in Jainism emphasize on “admission of problem” in the first step. Admission of guilt or shame or confessions is important. The first step to solve a problem is to recognise the problem.
9. Albert Einstein said that he would take 55 minutes to find the problem : its root and then only 5 minutes will be enough to solve it. If an hour is given to solve a problem : which approach is better than it?
10. Confessions; as in Christianity and the first noble truths in Jainism as well as Buddhism are regarding nature of problems: psychoanalysis emerges from it.
11. One fundamental problem is: religion is based on a foundation of there being more life, goodness, light and positivity than negativity. Is that true? That’s upto you to decide. Same with Science.
12. When I was depressed: I kept an online journal on my laptop. There: some hackers caught hold of it and took me to a shaming room merely to make me feel guilty. In the long run they all failed. I came out stronger and healthier. I can say: I did a good thing but: you shouldn’t do it unless you’re hundred percent sure: and you can never be. Jean Jacques Rousseau to Gandhi to Tolstoy there have been countless thinkers who published about their character. It’s putting yourself in the hands of angels and demons. I assumed: since they were hackers they must be wise enough to understand that all religions are make believe dreams. They have their values but not any ultimate value.
13. Now: coming back to the thread of romance as it’s Autumn. I am a bachelor. I never married nor am I planning to get married. Moreover: I never had any sexual intercourse in my life. I produced no offsprings nor do I plan to produce any.
14. I did have some hanky-panky but it was once when I was too young: seven years old: must be angels or demons experimenting on poor kids. Second it was when I was working: I thought an obese girl could become a supermodel by the power of love. I was wrong. I invited much negativity later on and suffered which wasn’t directly related to hanky panky but the parting girl said: “you used me.” I told her:” we both used each other; don’t mislead the narrative.” Which version of narrative remained with her out of our dillydallying is not known to me.
15. It took me ten years to regain my fitness. My family members had left me penniless to imagine of any romance. I could only romance with sweepers, maid servants, grandmothers and like. Romancing essentially means: taking your loved ones to dinner etcetera and then to bed. I couldn’t afford any of that. Romance was dead for me. What remained was: watching porn and chatting with girls or women who were either a scam or bots. That also consumes energy but teaches you faster about Nirvana.
16. Online affairs were later: after my awakening: therefore they merely sounded like “forced creation of narratives by multiple parties.”
17. One peculiar nature of these affairs was their resurgence: despite there being no hope they kept coming back. Love was always there. It was romantic love I was talking about. It became a stronger and stronger yearning towards reality or godhead but it had many affairs.
18. In witness sense: it was Mara’s net. In a positive sense: it was my way out of depression.
19. I kept reading some poets: realizing that I could neither be loyal to any one of them nor I was seeking any commitment. I realized after a while that they were mostly looking for people who might inspire their verses on which they might make money by selling books.
20. I was too cut-off from money making business because I had signed up for spiritual stuff which advocated minimalism. It became too much after a point when I realised that spiritual and material were not that far removed from each other and being too much of a minimalist wasn’t possible with the people I was living with. They didn’t value renunciates.
22. I would marry someone who is: absolutely attractive, absolutely intelligent, absolutely absolute, an equal to me in every aspect but not more than me. Someone who can put all noises, ghosts, hungry people and magicians and goblins to silence forever. Only two of us dedicated to each other without any progenies or world. No deformation, no decay, no death or aging. Unless that’s a given: I need no romance or marriage. Jerking off to Korean, Chinese, Spanish porn is excellent! As long as that’s feasible. I might write an article convincing you about the merits of porn. It’s already exalted in Indian temples and scriptures. Why not admit it clearly. I was contemplating whether to write a long article about my porn history or my romantic failures. I chose the latter.
23. With this current demigod status: marriage is impossible for me. Even a decent romance needs me to be at least as rich as a Bill Gates. That’s also next to impossible. And think about it: to earn wealth to realize that you haven’t conqured aging, decay and diseases like Vallalar or other Jnana Siddhars did: it’s better to seek that completely rather than to search for a romance which is mostly : obese girls trying to sell their novels(or books of poetry) or someone taking pity on you.
24. Online romance: I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw Izza Ifzaal writing verses on my private life. Whether it was a synchronicity or a delusion or dark net or her clairvoyance: it created temporary romance which I couldn’t afford to. Then I found many people writing about me or trying to attract my attention one way or the other. Some clearly admitted that I was an inspiration for their articles. That made me feel important like never before! Things haven’t changed in five years. I am only more aware of traps : booby or otherwise: then Kristina, Shine Ferrer, Devika, Nandita, Sameera, Rishuu, smouldering words: they all seemed to use either my gullible nature or something else to make me believe that there was some romance somewhere. Devika’s case was most strange : not because I merely wanted it to be: Shine Ferrer chatting with me on Facebook talked about her while I was reading Izza Ifzaal and I clearly told her that she was out of my league. But as a mystery worth being searched : I tried my best to investigate and found that she was also looking to make a living off of me like rest of them: like my parents and siblings. She along with Varjak Baby taught me some lessons about being selfish.
25. That sums up honorable mentions online. Offline it was: Swati in college who was a delusion as per my friends. Monika and Richa are happily married and they’re as happily married as Ravneet is. These are real names. I spent considerable time with those two because Saurabh was involved. Saurabh the Vyasa had incarnated to teach me a lesson or two. He’s happily married too.
26. The school life had co-ed but nuns of Christ were too harsh to allow you any romance. Rest of it was covered by my parents. They still take sexual potency pills but ensured that their children had no romance in their lives.
27. There used to be flying planes with notes on them: love notes. That was the extent of romance. Being a nerd helped as long as you performed. In my brief corporate life: the seniors always had more lucrative packages. As told before: the design by archons here is to make more and more healthy males to fight for a handful of girls. Win the trophies. By my reckoning: I see at least two hundred males per single beautiful girl and twenty to twenty five males per mediocre girls.
28. Ranjana had asthma. She worked out in gym and married to a Sikh who worked hard to build his body. They had both settled in USA. I didn’t find her to be attractive. She was from Bengal and Bihar. She was educated and we shared a lot of time with each other as co-workers. She told me that IAS officers in Bihar were willing to marry her. I couldn’t believe my eyes. That’s the kind of society we have made. It’s a pity. Perhaps it was always like this: a make-believe. I am happy that I was saved. I was made a demigod and in time I might gain pure body of gnosis and bliss.
29. If anyone: whose names are given in this article feel offended: let me know in the comments and their names would be removed. If they want to sue me: I am already penniless : merely getting my day-to-day food by teaching tuitions which are hard to come by despite my being a demigod. If you are still interested in taking revenge: let me know when you are going to strike.
1. It’s 17:35 when I sat writing this note after having bowled forty times. It makes ninety balls today. Moderation has kept my knees from not hurting as much as they were.
2. I had a nice nap this noon despite the Bundelkhandi hammers.
3. PWD people are doing something in the middle of the ground. There are at least ninety four wheelers and many two wheelers inside the ground but not as many people: this space is being used like parking lot as it’s a Friday market. As I entered the ground I felt like i was entering a bus stand.
4. It’s the full Moon of Bhagvata fame. Nectar fame. Autumn being most truthful of seasons and most beautiful: tells about the ambrosia which confers freedom from aging, decay and death. Vallalar was born on the full Moon day in 1823. Kripaluji was born on full Moon day in the twentieth century : but they were both born on this day and on the fifth of October. Vallalar declared victory over death, decay, aging and slavery. After composing his final 101 verses as an offering to Natarajan: vast effulgence of Grace: which was synonymous with his own being, he disappeared leaving a fragrance of camphor in Siddhivalagam. It’s accepted as a historical fact. Kripaluji didn’t reach those heights but he had an impeccable learning and a memory which made him able to spontaneously quote from scriptures as he delivered sermons. I saw his body becoming white pure light when I was in Vrindavan. He died in mysterious circumstances at an age of 95. I went to attend the buffet after his death ceremony. Prem Mandir.
5.
Sharad Purnima, 2020
6. Ashvini Kumaras bearers of nectar, incarnations of godhead are presiding deities who heal. Twins also represent Gemini and Narayana who along with Nara has been worshipped as primordial sage or ultimate destiny of mankind. Ketu rules the asterism. Jupiter, Venus and Saturn ruled the day. Vajra sceptre Yoga. Jupiter retrograde Atmakaraka.
7. The B.Ed. exams are also being conducted here. Couple of people asked me for directions.
8. I should play a jam or two for mosquitoes are harassing me!
1. I bowled ten times. I had bought a new Mark signature tennis ball this evening.
2. As Piyush called I was waiting for him. He told about the experience of taking bhaang. I had not recommended it to him but the influence was to make him experiment. Ultimately : suffering for two or three days. I tried to give him some clarity with reminiscence.
3. I told him about Devasura war. About Pashupati and Narayana as being Shaiva and Vaishnava counterparts of Bramhastra. Since he tried to read Garuna Purana in vain : I told him how all tales are both true and false and neither true nor false or true and false.
4. I told him about countless dimensions which are as follows in brief:
4.1: if you face a direction: you are moving towards it. You are letting it be your counterpart. Spiritual, mental and physical energy gets aligned.
4.2 : For example: facing South means : being righteous. It means being open, clear and honest. It’s where Dakshina Murthy or Yama reside as per scriptures.
4.3 Take horoscopes of Rahul Dravid or Albert Einstein or Donald Bradman: they have the highest concentration of planetary energies in the highest public visibility house which is also the house of righteousness.
4.4 : if you face South: the West is Right: West in Hindi or Sanskrit means: that which comes later: the latest fashion or trend is most acceptable. The current generation is most advanced.
4.5: if you face South: the East is left: it’s hidden and Wrong to follow traditions.
4.6: if you face North or East: as recommended by all Hindu religious scriptures: Himalayas guide. The right is either East or South. In case of Hindu tradition: most protectors of Dharma came from Nepal(Buddha), Or South India: Shankaracharya, Vallabhacharya, Nimbarkacharya, Madhvacharya, Patanjali, Vallalar, Nayanmars, Aandal etc. Jiddu, UG, Satyasai etcetera.
4.7: if you face North: it’s left of East. Vaamdev: to the East or traditional is right. My father is not only left handed but always dictated me to follow the ancestors: pitris ruled by Aryma are hungry ghosts as per Buddhist understanding. All his life he talked about bhoot bungalow and Bhairav and Pashupatinath. Imagination being more powerful than knowledge clouds it and renders energy or Shakti bound by imaginary bonds or pasham.
4.8: if you face West: the left hand tantra is right: Satanism. If you face West: Southern will look like leftist tantra. If you follow West: that which came recently is better than that which was. No nostalgia needed. You’re your best version. Can you travel in time? Stop it. Stop aging.
4.9: Facing up you go higher: a general understanding is: gods live higher. Flying planes and saucers truly transcend time. If the Shrilankan war of Ramayana was for Pushpak instead of Seeta: with offcourse a few pretty airhostesses : it would suit poor aboriginal people who knew nothing better.
4. 10. There are countless variations of dimensions. It’s all a make believe. They begin where you are and they end in you. Peace.
1. I had momos worth ten rupees. They were not as good as momos in the Dussehra fair because they were not as fried or crisp because they were prepared on a quick order. I would have preferred Mahajana’s water balls as I needed to re-enter the stadium.
2. I don’t want my prediction to be true: it’s merely based on patterns so far: after elections are over: Corona is used as an excuse for another lockdown. Feel good is related to exercise. The art of winning elections is making people feel entertained at the times of elections. I voted but once and it was for Hema Malini: it was in Vrindavan under pressure of Mahanta of Jagannath Ghat who was a goon converted into Mahanta. He used to insult and beat people in his ashrama on a regular basis and took their labours for free himself enjoying luxury. Unless I voted : he would have ensured that my stay over there was difficult and I was not able to stay in Vrindavan under romantic adventurous devotional melodramatic guise. That’s what he did after a few months when I had decided to go to another Ashrama after getting initiated from another master.
3. The pleasure has a limit and its opposite. It’s always at someone’s cost that someone else feels pleasure. Call it sacrifice, call it cooperation or anything else. It’s the Truth. Peace or bliss beyond duality doesn’t let the body fall unless you’re in a heaven wherefrom you don’t fall ever again. So far I haven’t been to any such.
4. The causal layer needs digging. Some call it darkness, some others call it enlightenment. It’s a point or a layer or a wall or a television or a background where knowledge and ignorance lose meaning. It’s the free fall. It’s where you lose gravity. It’s the field where wrongdoing and rightdoing lose meaning.
5. The reason why Hindu texts like Bhagvata disparage the understanding of space and enlightenment is: archons being all powerful get worshipped via channels which are religions and genuine: like humanity. The fear, sex, desire, ambition, music and countless modes keep you under one belief or other.
6. I verily say it: if the way of fog accompanied with my study conferred understanding of Buddhism and astral travel along with Hindu counterpart of the same upon me: there’s no reason why I should consider it to be a path where you are stuck with titans, goblins, ghouls and demons. Unless: I never lived among gods. Then: I never have anything to compare with this life other than the variations in past. And yet: I have a firm understanding of death, life and inbetween.
7. The cause why police ground and college grounds are associated is obvious: athletes come from only those two arenas in a civil area. Someone like me who did play a lot in childhood but had most of the family members in the business of prostitution are not likely to stay in shape for long. Police line door is kept open for long. Police and military are given charge of the city and martial law : draconid meteor shower.
8. I had a difficult time coming to terms with this: while I had no difficulty with Corona: as I had lived better than most of my life during this period: I wondered why they would keep stadium closed. The answer is in ninth.
9. Family. The depression strikes hard when all Sanghi attack you together. The poem in 2017 had title Sangha for Buddhistic communes but it was interpreted to be BJP Sangha. The original three point program was to give refuge to practitioners. This new Sangha like Raju Shrivastav comedy only took you to a corner and beat you up good. Spied on your smartphone after taking your thumb and eye prints in the name of national security. I stopped writing and reading and could never forget how PMO girl was involved in it.
10. The causal body is merely uncovering of your hidden connections based on memory. Why all avatars of Vishnu sleep on a mystical serpent named Ananta? It’s also called Shesha or remnant. It’s memory which always remains. It’s not in your body or mind. It’s outside and inside and everywhere. It’s where you sleep: in memories. When Ramana says: sleep is Pragya : the third state: it’s actually a sage sleeping on remnant memories.
11. Turiya or Turiyateeta are one when you become fearless enough to burn one and every book of knowledge if need arises. Why archons prohibit the way of mist: why it has remained a mystery and true dimension of healing? Because it’s where treasure of knowledge is hidden. It’s where dark controllers live. Who torture you with 440 volts if you don’t comply. Hence Buddhas return to balance after penance.
12. If you know that 4 hours, 4 days or 40 days are same: why would you imitate passion or fasting of Christ, Buddha, Gandhi or anyone else? It’s the understanding of time which liberates by grace.
13. I never met anyone who was searching for liberation like me. I only read about them in books. I found it…then I found freedom from death by all accounts. I think there’s not just one death or one void or one time as far as the knowledge body goes. That’s why Gorakhnath and others talked about many voids.
14. It’s not about creating positive memories as law of attraction would let you believe: instincts go deeper than that. The whole body of gnosis must have all memories and all their possible variations if one were to understand truly the subject of mastery over death and life.
15. For example: madman, dancer or Natarajan is formless vast effulgence of Grace also known as Vishnu or Narayana or Vaasudev by Vaishnavas. The consistent coding or programs to embed them in your psyche is to protect you from threats of inbetween where you are left in space which fills you with negativity or ultimate pain of swoon.
16. The selftalk is usually considered to be lack of socialization. Psychopath and sociopath. But it’s only refuge for those who know the reality of costly heavens. You create stories and live in them: that’s the only way to survive when you are against all odds. That gives you immense respect and compassion towards all beings.
17. To be honest: to gain perfect and most compassionate understanding of all states: that of a king, a ruler, a priest, a worker, a poor man, a beggar, an ill man, a dog or a slave, a wise sage, a girl, a boy, a neuter and a ghost, an alien etcetera : you need to experience all of them one by one. You also need to be stones, trees, walls and machines: then and only then you can say: I have a perfect understanding of all karmic webs. Then they don’t bind you. But it means something impossible. You can’t repeat your emotional mood of morning in evening. As soon as you are fed you forget the hunger: though repeated hunger or fasting only makes you aware of pangs of all life forms: making you moderate. All such coding in the causal layer is result of countless number of learning patterns.
18. A fool is one who repeats same mistake twice. I think whoever said that was a fool himself. Bring me any great person whose biography is available and I would show you him or her repeatedly doing same things until life threatening forces are used against them in various aspects. Thus : fundamentals are expressed well in philosophy but you need too many repetitions to master them : in different scenarios different lessons emerge. In a way it’s never the same mistake since you never bath in the same river or spacetime continuum again: you keep listening and learning from different mistakes.
19. 1.Three modes of nature: truth or harmony. Passion or energy. Inertia or darkness.
2. The father, the son and the holy ghost.
3. The satchitananda: truth. knowledge. bliss.
4. Bramha. The creator. Vishnu the preserver. The Mahesh: dissolver or terminator.
5. Aleph. Meme. Shin.
6. Triplets: why do you have this system? It’s because of mapping onto three dimensional structure: length, breadth and height or depth.
7. Truth body. Emanation body. Bliss body.
8. There are unifying and analyzing agents and languages creating creative or destructive versions of religions. Destructive versions ultimately merge into dissolving: chaos becoming intelligence.
9. Islam. Buddhism. Judaism. Christianity. Hinduism. Jainism are all book based religions along with Sikhism. The book might be in form of cloud Atlas or a tattoo or a microchip or binary one zero one zero…
Dancing light of grace 