1. I had set myself a goal of learning about constitution of India or Bharat within a month of lunar cycle. The idea was to finish reading the 268 pages of the PDF with about 80% reading comprehension within the duration. Now it seems some magical changes have taken place. My consciousness has been so fluid in the last few days that I have been overlooking all my assignments. Especially: Python programming project (P3) and courses on Indian mythology and others which were available for free on eDX. I wonder if there would be an availability next time I login to their site. I also needed to read some fiction by Carrol Lewis: through the looking glass. Since I am in heavens I need to make most of it. Dad has asked me to wait till twentieth of May to get a new smartphone. Being a patriarch he controls all wealth in the household. I had asked mother and she redirected me to father. After six months of 2-3 hours of everyday given to cleaning this house where they scatter things and spit as they consume tobacco, Supari and other poisons : they lured me into believing that my isolation or using a defunct JIO smartphone was no good. They gave me a second hand smartphone with scratches on screen. And the cat left no scope as I dropped it once to lose a bundle of keys on keypad. I became a kind of Helen Keller or Milton composing with great difficulty what I may have finished with a snap of fingers.
2. Wait: this was supposed to be a note on COI(Constitution of India.)
3. I veer away with hope. The heat is really picking on nerves.
4. After a few days I might get a new smartphone. My laptop is wasted. I spent 1800 rupees on it and within a day it died again. The startup circuit. The maintenance guy humiliated me by humiliating my laptop. The parents humiliated me further by talking behind my back about my being spendthrift. They had almost worshipped me on July 20 2014 when they arrived Vrindavan unbeknownst to me and brought me here by citing morality as an excuse. Since then the six years were supposed to be my correction period. They left no stone unturned. I paid my dues to receive very little back. Those who learnt from me started spitting on my face. I never thought this was going to be the case and my life path would have been much easier had I continued with monks and beggars in 2014. A simple decision in the name of compassion in which my own comfort was also hidden became the Sisyphean curse weight of which is still a ton of atmospheric pressure upon my shoulders.
5. Earning money is difficult. By doing charitable deeds I can get my meals or by begging. I might have called myself a businessman but none of my students stay. In English they want me to teach something which helps them in exams. I teach vocabulary and word roots: I am no James Harbeck or Michael Quinion at that but clearly: I can help them gain words and understand better at a rapid rate. Or I teach yoga to kids: not a Ramdev at it yet I know the fundamentals well enough to make them immortal.
6. I hear you say: this is about the constitution of India. How is a guy supposed to earn his living? I may keep burning garbage like I have been: for the last six months: it won’t fetch money. I am happy with a clean ground instead of a dump pumpkin patch outside my house with pig dung cow faeces. Wait: kids play when lockdown is laxed. Laxity. Maxixe. Tithe blithe Megatron rodomontade.
7. You see. A note about CoI. I can’t give myself even 5GB of data everyday. I can’t download a movie. The day I downloaded one I had a hard time accessing the browser data and YouTube videos refused to play. Constraints. Grave of fireflies.
8. I don’t know if my notes sound more like a joke on myself or a joke on India. I recall Peepli Live. I told uncle about the dead Piglet as I went to collect garbage to burn. The Piglet had its left eye smeared red with blood. It seemed synchronicity as I had written about explosion of pigs in this colony. I wonder: who or what killed it.
9. I had reported the event so that we don’t have to bear with the fetid smell. If I wasn’t the one breathing the news. No, it was :breaking the news: I would have been the one sewing it. Receiving it with wings.
The way of white clouds!
10. Parliament reserves the right regarding union of states. It can divide or add at whim without even passing the bill. Digvijay Singh and company divided Madhya Pradesh into Chattisgarh and Korba was lost. Severe power cuts was the result. I had a hard time in passing my higher secondary studying under a lantern in night on roof and occassionally some insects used to bite into my stomach thanks to Neptune conjunct Moon in my horoscope.
11. Division helps ego. It helps privacy. I tried patching up with my siblings. I tried talking to them normally. They don’t even know how to read or write. And they are too old to learn it from me. While they siezed with force, by hook and by crook, every patch of space I had: I kept giving them the best of resources. Spiritual counseling to ward their demons off. The narrative is set like this: dirty scumbag doesn’t want to lean his room, or bathroom or act. Openly abuses parents and siblings and even beats grandmother: when I ask him to cool down and take some time off he starts believing that it was him who set the limit for himself. He uses casuistry and black magic along with Hindu rituals of touching feet to make others think everything is alright. And he thinks he can kill everyone for his handicap and get away with it. The other kid is the do gooder hooded with underhand tactics under a government which uses those itself : Pegasus for example.
12. Compared to my childhood I barely have any space left here. And new marriages: younger siblings bringing wives means letting go of me or peaceful coexistence. Letting go of me would be the option once they have tried attempting to make me marry or serve them like a slave.
13. I would either go to Puducherry or Rishikesh. Haridwar won’t accept me. Vrindavan is already closed. This place needs babies and toddlers who would grow into men to further the amily tree to feed the hungry souls of ancestors. I need to read my blogs more often than not: they constitute my pure body of gnosis. It’s a weakness to grow fondness for places or people. Individuality, identity, idiosyncrasies are the only thing you truly love and they are delusion. Relative apperception. I have grown out of needs of mirrors. I walk with Narada on celestial waters.
Rama is Bhagavan whereas Narada is merely a journalist. In the fiction there are big egos and smaller ones. Rama is one of the biggest. Narada was also an incarnation of Vishnu like Rama but Ramayana glorified Rama. Narada had initiated Valmiki the creator of Ramayana. Narada asked his lord Narayana to confer an appearance like that of Hari. It was to win the swayamvara contest and get married to the most dazzling princess of Mayanagri. Sadly the lady marries the lord Narayana who reveals that Narada was deluded by his Matrix and the girl as well as city were to examine his devotion. But it’s late as Narada had already cursed Narayana to suffer in separation from his wife ( the sorrow by seeing his monkey like face in the mirror became the cause of the curse which made lord Narayana suffer when Seeta his wife was kidnapped by the Raw One of Shri Lanka.)
I tell this story to my mother. I also tell her about the past incarnation story of Narada where he was not a muni but a five year old Bodhisattva who serves some teachers and gains merits to be born as the Manasa Putra of Bramha. His initiation makes all 10000 sons of Aasak ti and Daksha renunciates. This is repeated once again before Daksha curses him to remain a lifelong bachelor. This became the precursor to the story of Swayamvara recounted up thread.
I told stories. Vyasa said briefly about Rama: he enacted the role of a sensual man suffering by being separated from his wife and he calls her name Hey See te! He asks :” Oh birds, oh deers, oh Betels , have thou seen my Seeta who has eyes like a fawn?” And he swoons by recalling her lovely ways.
When I told about Vyasa version of Rama as told in Bhagvat Puran: the Mahanta of Gyaan Gudri Jagannath Ashrama, Gyaan Prakash ji became palpably agitated and started rebuking me severely.
My mother says: Rama is lord himself. Narada is mere servant. They are both incarnation of Narayana the sage. Or Vishnu the Hara, the Natarajan the dancing light of Grace.
Why Krishna is the supreme personality of Godhead? And Rama? Why not Narada? Because it’s about householders and world. If Rama was a social reformer and transcended death after 11000 years of rule as per Ramachari Manasa of Tulsidas: Ramananda and Kabir also qualify for same worship because they left the earth with their bodies intact and they kicked death in the butt. Krishna had 16108 wives and helped wipe out a sizeable portion of population within 18 days of Mahabharata war. He was super detached and aloof force of nature when his own kins killed each other off in Prabhas Kshetra. This makes him grand.
In my humble opinion. Only the authors Vyasa, Valmiki, Tulsi and Shankaracharya are grand. Dancing light of Grace: logos and visual aspects of nameless fill the stories romantic and otherwise with Colors as per the need. Narada is superior to Rama. Narada is superior to Krishna. Narada is looked down upon by the masses because of being an honest journalist and guru of all and sundry. Why worship a Rama or a Krishna when you yourself are Rama, Krishna, Narada, Shiva and much more? Isn’t it all a play of consciousness: the Vaasudeva?
2. People choose to believe what suits their causes. For example: people around me choose to believe that Ramayana and Mahabharata being telecast by Doordarshan are statements of Truth not mere myth. Similarly some people choose to believe in the constitution of a nation state or a book called Bible or Quaran. Look how Quaran is similar to Quarantine. Linguistics like James may find that link by research. Kabbalah and Science uses some tools to. Authorship and meritocracy emphasizes the importance of an agreed upon rulebook. The Hindu Rashtra advocates want all the wealth to be with very few chosen ones. Corporate houses who govern by proxy.
3. As I was taking breakfast: I saw a program in which the DD Bharati was showing spectacular India. A few churches in Shillong, Chera poonzi and elsewhere emphasize devotion to holy spirit. The kids clapping in the chorus look devoid of life. They look like robots. No critical thinking left in them. They might be happy and the place does look clean with greenery but they look like Stepford Wives. They appear to be too good to be true.
A Nightingale is singing. In my memory. A few dogs bark intermittent ly. Lyrical melodies are in the air. Politicians and civilians were debating about alcoholism. My sibling had a sudden spell of vomiting yesterday and he couldn’t even reach out for the bathroom. I offered to clean his room later but he said it would be done by the grandmother who was listening to my newspaper gossip when it happened.
A gentleman had kept a parrot captive. I was watching the mountains of immense light like it was the very first time. I am dwelling in the Constitution of India and Ramalinga verses for a while. They offer the harmony. Osho talks after seventeen years look better than present day comedians. At my own speed I can’t fill colors in my memories. I walk slower.
1. Aries arises ascends with Sun, Uranus and Mercury. It’s a Wednesday. Wednesday is 100.
2. I taught my mother about Ida, Pingala and the Sushumna again as she keeps forgetting. The Madhya Naadi runs at present. Bile. The ohlegm is last as water is dissolver. Adi is wind creative energy. Wind– Fire– Water.
3. Sushumna or madhya naadi is the path of bile or Sun — the hot path of righteousness. Vibrancy. Balance.
4. Many cows and bulls were playing in the ground in night. They were doing various contests and chased dogs as well as pigs away.
5. Birds are flying in groups to their offices. Moon is in moveable airy sign of Libra on the Cooper Mountain.
6. The number six rules the day. Venus and Niranjan. The sixth dimension. Golden yellow Sun !
Golden Yellow!
7. Mother had a dream this morning. There was a small snake in our porch. It transformed into Jaadu of Hrithik Roshan movie. It was sprinkling some water and talking to our maid. As she approached it to hear it talk she was woken up by father who needed her to massage his hand which was ailing. She told me this as she came upstairs for a walk. I don’t interpret dreams.
8. I miss the collective noun for pigeons. A bunch of them goes
South.
9. Mars the ruler of Siddhi Yoga as Moon is located in the seventh from the Sun, confers accomplishment.
By David Lynch. Mystery. It’s still the best mystery movie I have ever watched. It’s crafted using a dreamlike sequence of images. His silent movie Rabbits is included into the narrative to create a brilliant effect. I was, am and shall always remain in awe of this masterpiece until I see something better.
2. WakingLife
Richard Linklater”s masterpiece is the best animated movie of its kind. It has philosophy and reality embedded in just the proper proportions. Dream is the destiny if you chose number four.
3. TheGrave of Fireflies
This is the most powerful tragedy ever created onscreen in its effectiveness. The scene in which the young one asks if he should call a doctor for his elder brother tore my heart and eyes like never before. That such a situation could arise because of our being too power hungry and warlike and insensitive to the suffering of our neighbours, just haunts you as a haunting existential nightmare.
Dancing light of grace 