1. I eat fruits. Fallen on ground.

2. It takes me a lot of time to make-up my mind to write. I would have preferred sitting quietly, watching the setting Sun, the dance, birds frolicking, chirping and returning to nests in various groups.

3. Even in the recreated identity and objective : my efforts tend to fall off on their own. Sometimes it’s pain, at others it’s pain by proxy.

4. There’s a transmuted liquid. It tastes good. It’s elixir according to some texts. It has only given me fanciful dreams. It’s the liquid which plays these games. It gets vital or weak. The liquid has desires. It’s the desire to live and experience.

5. You’re advised to shun pleasure and prolong life. The wisest have advised to fight death. Death is ego. Ego is thought. Thought structures come to regular end. First it were events which seemed fatalistic then it becomes repeated occurrence.

6. The objectives I created as excuse for living are found to be falsehood. The reality asserts itself vehemently.

7. It often seems like: waking up from dream clouds. Again and again. Identities only work until there are users. They’re usually players. The people in the surrounding who have a weak understanding of reality.

8. Even the passing verses of greatest adepts don’t provide solace. This yearning is an all consuming fire. All relations, identities and roles get burnt in it. I tried to fit but there was never any reality to any of it.

9. I get the true meaning of adjective loftily.

10. The silence feels heavenly. I read a bit from Fountain of Ethics in Hindi. Yesterday I read a prologue by Hazari Prasad Dwivedi. On autobiography of Bana Bhatta who wrote Kadambari. He was contemporary to Harsha. Ideas of Catherine : the lady who inspired him to work on completing the book were eye opener. She thought her life was wasted as she was woman. She chide him for being lazy despite being a man. She told him about even European women being shy and unable to work as much as men because of the limitations imposed by the nature.

11. Crescent moon is just above my head. Peeping through three wires. Everything I say or do, unto you, seems to be cheap substitute of some higher existence, as if it was available, right here and now, except it isn’t.

12. Most people keep postponing life. Giving up on even the small pleasures with hope of some heavenly gains. Then it’s too late. I am not one of those.

13. I often think if poetry is more than exercise of imagination. In that sense it’s not taken apart from reality. Imagination is more powerful than reality to give you unreal expectations. Unreal anxieties and sometimes working as foundation for ideas which become reality: our day to day life.

14. Batlings are dancing in zig Zag patterns. Mosquitoes dance. Another twilight. Peace.

In the end was the end!

1. Don’t know how it ends. I am happy to have commented on her posts in a civil manner. It’s a success.

2. I received a coin which had 2017 as its release year as i bought the incense sticks. Crackers were bursting nearby.

3. I bowled 50 times. It was easy to focus on catching and bowling to target but slightly difficult to breathe. I still think it’s the smog they create here on a regular basis. I absorb plenty of that air.

4. I sat in the field for a while as Sun was setting. They were going towards a well. I felt relieved after reading her verse. If our communication was as civil some three years ago: i might have been happier. Old debts. How much of energy, time and effort was wasted in merely being lucid in communication. All people speak different languages. Different groups speak different languages. In the end you’re left with your own version/interpretation of reality. It might be stoic or solipsistic or both. The next step towards civility might be to not expect her to read my posts or to acknowledge them. Not everyone is equally attractive/appealing. People have their priorities.

5. There’s not much worth remembering from this day. A rocket was going South as twilight was getting darker. Just besides the Moon. Then a star popped, silently.

6. Did the tall ladies: two of them in a day mean something in particular? I really don’t know. There’s tonnes of irrelevant information i process on a regular basis.

7. The star on Church gate has a pentagon and five triangles. Though i already commented on that: the bulb is not in the middle of the red pentagon. It’s towards lower right end. The Moon on the top of the shaft is tilted : just like the heads of Jesus and Mary.

You, you or you and you!?

1. It was a pleasant walk back to this place. A walk in twilight after a long time. The librarian was reading newspaper. I took his leave after a few minutes. This morning I had a ride on e-rickshaw. This noon I met a person who was interested in books and arcane knowledge.

2. Lunch in Dindayal rasoi was the highlight of the day. As i reached the place : I saw ongoing construction. A boy with a bike told me that there was no more food. It was only two o’ clock but then he said: if you want to eat, come with me. I followed him and he told that it was roti and curry instead of usual rice. He offered either four rotis with curry for five rupees or eight rotis plus curry for ten rupees. I opted for the latter. After a long time I had plenty of food without guilt. Whatever comes out of this food will be bliss. I was raptrous in library for the rest of the afternoon as I kept reading bits and pieces. The songs of devotion for the divine feminine. I took permission from Damayanti madam to feed guavas to cows. I had bought them for twenty rupees and two of them were left.

3. I observed a painting by an artist named Sanju as i was coming back from Gayatri Mandir. Kala Mandir was written below it. The painting was state-of-art.

4. Shri scored better than me on both Algebra and Vocabulary quizzes on Free Rice sites. It might seem like an exaggeration but Damayanti madam came at the same time to pay me two hundred rupees and asked for the balance. It distracted me for a while: yet i can’t use the same logic to explain why she scored better than me on Algebra on third day consecutively. I told her that I was going to score better tomorrow. Would I? I would practice. We shall see.

Here’s a verse:

I saw a damsel,

A maiden,

A divine melody in a form,

Was it you, you or you?

Or all of you!

I am sure

The man was a drunkard and a gambler. I used to be his neighbour and I was wondering if I was his friend. I was the man’s only friend for he had no wife, no one to love, and no one to care for. I will tell you: sometimes we undo by doing and sometimes we do by nondoing. I am an adept. I was the man’s only friend. I don’t think about it. I know it’s my first love. I don’t think about it. What is your name and address! … Shadows of bygone days. I love to long for the Twilight. I still do. I know nothing about it. I am sure you don’t. … What is the hurry… … I am sure you are interested in this. … in my pocket. I don’t know if easy is left or right anymore. No Moore . No more. Moreover: I know not: a hundred and fifty shades. I know I am with my own self . Always feeling well as the first time. I am always a certainty. Only certainty. Which is only certainty
That I am pretty sure.

Temperature Drops


1. After the prayer meeting we went on a walk to remember. Three kids on bike. The driver gave his handle up loose before the house of the food inspector. The immediate cause was a piece of cloth lying on road. The deeper cause– they are returning players.

2. The bench to sit down for a while seemed like a luxury. Twilight was extremely soothing today. There were military or police people walking inside the stadium. It’s open for business like galla mandi. There is some strange logic in work here- exercise is bad for health. Business is good. What would I do–zilxh.

3. A dyslexic teacher on bicycle with tomatoes in a carry bag was speaking to another on bike. It was about tuitions.

4. I took some photographs in peace. I recall one Urdu poem–

Kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta,

Kabhi jameen nahi milti to kabhi aasmaan nahin milta.

5. The discussion turned to the imaginary disease and virus. USA would soon touch 100000 deaths. They have tested about 130000000 people : about one third of their entire population. India has tested only a fraction of people and sacrifice has only been that of the 3500 people. All data given by my friend. If it’s not factual I am not responsible.

6. It’s predicted[citation needed] that a virus is likely to arrive by October.

7. Since we have been slow in testing we would be happy in being slow for vaccination as well.

8. I had an ice-cream and noodles. This is the peak of luxury since 2017. I am employed by a college kid who bumped his head into the wall. He wasn’t chasing the ball as in football stadium yet he got bruises and his head might be hurting. He was running with a bat. I took his vocabulary quiz and found him eligible for my help. Coaching classes are not open for this season. But if business can be open : I am eligible for a coffee and a bike ride. At least I am not raising my voice for Euthanasia. What Euthanasia? They are already dead.

9. And I am back to romancing with mosquitoes -need of another bath. Does that count as a luxury. Yes.

10. Temperature- Sassy Yassy says no need for secrets. The reduction has been many degrees in average temperature of this town. And it has rained every month since last year. I don’t know what is changing the climate so drastically. It’s still not as pleasant as Bangalore.

Narada versus Rama!

1. Narada versus Rama:

Rama is Bhagavan whereas Narada is merely a journalist. In the fiction there are big egos and smaller ones. Rama is one of the biggest. Narada was also an incarnation of Vishnu like Rama but Ramayana glorified Rama. Narada had initiated Valmiki the creator of Ramayana. Narada asked his lord Narayana to confer an appearance like that of Hari. It was to win the swayamvara contest and get married to the most dazzling princess of Mayanagri. Sadly the lady marries the lord Narayana who reveals that Narada was deluded by his Matrix and the girl as well as city were to examine his devotion. But it’s late as Narada had already cursed Narayana to suffer in separation from his wife ( the sorrow by seeing his monkey like face in the mirror became the cause of the curse which made lord Narayana suffer when Seeta his wife was kidnapped by the Raw One of Shri Lanka.)

I tell this story to my mother. I also tell her about the past incarnation story of Narada where he was not a muni but a five year old Bodhisattva who serves some teachers and gains merits to be born as the Manasa Putra of Bramha. His initiation makes all 10000 sons of Aasak ti and Daksha renunciates. This is repeated once again before Daksha curses him to remain a lifelong bachelor. This became the precursor to the story of Swayamvara recounted up thread.

I told stories. Vyasa said briefly about Rama: he enacted the role of a sensual man suffering by being separated from his wife and he calls her name Hey See te! He asks :” Oh birds, oh deers, oh Betels , have thou seen my Seeta who has eyes like a fawn?” And he swoons by recalling her lovely ways.

When I told about Vyasa version of Rama as told in Bhagvat Puran: the Mahanta of Gyaan Gudri Jagannath Ashrama, Gyaan Prakash ji became palpably agitated and started rebuking me severely.

My mother says: Rama is lord himself. Narada is mere servant. They are both incarnation of Narayana the sage. Or Vishnu the Hara, the Natarajan the dancing light of Grace.

Why Krishna is the supreme personality of Godhead? And Rama? Why not Narada? Because it’s about householders and world. If Rama was a social reformer and transcended death after 11000 years of rule as per Ramachari Manasa of Tulsidas: Ramananda and Kabir also qualify for same worship because they left the earth with their bodies intact and they kicked death in the butt. Krishna had 16108 wives and helped wipe out a sizeable portion of population within 18 days of Mahabharata war. He was super detached and aloof force of nature when his own kins killed each other off in Prabhas Kshetra. This makes him grand.

In my humble opinion. Only the authors Vyasa, Valmiki, Tulsi and Shankaracharya are grand. Dancing light of Grace: logos and visual aspects of nameless fill the stories romantic and otherwise with Colors as per the need. Narada is superior to Rama. Narada is superior to Krishna. Narada is looked down upon by the masses because of being an honest journalist and guru of all and sundry. Why worship a Rama or a Krishna when you yourself are Rama, Krishna, Narada, Shiva and much more? Isn’t it all a play of consciousness: the Vaasudeva?

2. People choose to believe what suits their causes. For example: people around me choose to believe that Ramayana and Mahabharata being telecast by Doordarshan are statements of Truth not mere myth. Similarly some people choose to believe in the constitution of a nation state or a book called Bible or Quaran. Look how Quaran is similar to Quarantine. Linguistics like James may find that link by research. Kabbalah and Science uses some tools to. Authorship and meritocracy emphasizes the importance of an agreed upon rulebook. The Hindu Rashtra advocates want all the wealth to be with very few chosen ones. Corporate houses who govern by proxy.

3. As I was taking breakfast: I saw a program in which the DD Bharati was showing spectacular India. A few churches in Shillong, Chera poonzi and elsewhere emphasize devotion to holy spirit. The kids clapping in the chorus look devoid of life. They look like robots. No critical thinking left in them. They might be happy and the place does look clean with greenery but they look like Stepford Wives. They appear to be too good to be true.

Time taken: 52 minutes.

Super Moon and Venus

Icy Super Moon Ascendant

1. It looks nearer than it appears in the image.

2. Venus is also visible in the South West:

Venus opposite Super Moon!

3. People singing in chorus in the nearby temples. It was the sheer radiance today. A kid is singing and family members are busy chasing away the persistent cat. It gets almost no food here and it has been beaten yet it lingers here. So does the Ghanshi the name rhymes with Banshee and she is the old lady I wrote about another day on this very blog.

4. Mosquitoes are singing too. Kids frolic and some vegetable and bangle sellers had a good time today. I enjoyed playing Cricket with neighborhood kids and for a while it seemed as if Nitrous Oxide was mixed in the air people were breathing.

5. Life seems to be returning to the normal in the vicinity. Nitty gritty. Typhoons telephone time and Tide play one on one. And I have abstained from creating tingling lingas gatecrashing hinged zed eyes mingling blingbotsslingshotspotsupshots.

6. In order to impart meaning I need to create events, manage them well, create more events with fewer errors and fever verses on clerihew hewn and sewn by news evasedro pin point Nippon ponytail onyxoohagisys.

7. I look South. The only sky available to me with heavy hot air right now comes with mosquito bites. Mosquitoes deserve their food as much as I deserve my comfort or Etheridge victuals. Battue Tuesday has come to an end as dead animals dance with heavy ringtones notes on keywords venire xenon cenote secern discern neysaz. I have to remind myself of scaling and click time to clock time else the psychology takes over pretty fast track acknowledged degrees verdigris. Grisly sly lyrics.

8. Though the lunar calendar says it’s the full Moon, it’s not circular in shape but oval and tilted slightly to the left as if imagining a story.

Captain attaint intern Cook!

Time taken: 35 minutes.