1. I bowled 10 overs. Yesterday evening I jogged. There are: runner’s high, jogger’s high and walker’s high. The trio of Sir Donald Bradman, Gandhi and Vallalar achieved the third one. Neither manichavasagar nor Vallalar were hounds of Shiva. They’re not in Nayanmars. That gives you hope!
2. I intend to play many jams today.
3. The last three days were strange because three planets: Sun, Jupiter and Venus were holding the office of Jaiminee Atmakaraka by just a few hours difference. Children born during these times have peculiar destinies.
4. Gandhi was one such child.
5. I saw his picture in Durban in 1904. There are 72 people. His head is most tilted towards right: that tells you about his adamant righteousness. He was striving towards balance by regulating himself more than others. Yet: passive aggressive behaviour didn’t leave him until the end. What Mahaveera used to achieve divine knowledge: he used to integrate divine with social.
2. I am listening music. Watching a classical dance. Cosmic microwave background. Cosplay. When does it get serious?
3. Here: Vandana and Mukta were two sisters. Vandana had a son and Mukta had a daughter. They left two of them on a bed. They both knew how to sit but not how to stand up: that gives you an idea about their age. A place where buffaloes were tied. They were chatting. The kids who are merely toddlers start playing the primordial game. The tug of war. The churning of ocean? No. They fight with their private parts. I clearly remember that to be one of my earliest memories. I wouldn’t have been more than two years old at max. She was one year old. Therefore: I was to be blamed. Now: in 2016 I slept with her husband in the same bed. I was too tired because I kind of ‘forcibly’ danced in a marriage where they didn’t want me to steal the thunder. The only picture the aunt promised me on stage didn’t happen. It happened because I forced it. The photographers took a picture of my bearded self which was deleted. I was wasting my breath for people who would not come down to meet me in a few days. Maybe I am making it up. Narayana Prasad Tiwari has Narayana in his name. Was a priest. Was born wealthy. I read Osho while his son did perform well and helped increase population of world. He’s an author who writes. He’s also a programmer. He’s well off. I need not bring him into the story. Orion belt. Anshul Maharaj. Let’s go back to two mothers and Bakaash. Kutta was Bakaas’ brother. She was always an angel to me. She draw Meera. Two of them always had some money and a chutki or muski pouch in their wallets. If you add inflation: they had more money than I have in my pocket. I used to enjoy running with Anshul Maharaj whenever he had time to grace our house. He studied in Saraswati Vidya Mandir whereas I studied in Maria Mata Convent High School. Everyday we took an oath:
“India is my country. All indians are my brothers and sisters…….”
A. How many of those married to their sisters? All of them can be either Muslims or Christians or Athiests. They can’t be Hindus as they don’t marry their sisters. Moreover: if they ever played with their private parts: they don’t have any rights to question anyone regarding their ethics about women at large. I reserve my right to consider any woman, girl or lady however I want to: as much as they reserve theirs to regard me however they want.
B. Add this question put to me by Vandana in my early childhood and later after I came from Kota:
“Knowledge is alright. But that doesn’t mean you don’t consider your sisters or mothers as sisters or mothers. This was coming from a lady who lets her son be devoured by a girl who was two years elder to him. He was merely seven. But as soon as he begins playing gay game of doctor with her brother who was six years old: she appears knocking the door. Creating a guilt. A complex. This is what they create morality for. Add A: oaths. B. Parents: C. Business: people living in house because without them rent can’t be earned: and strangely: except C for Shilaajeet: everyone in this house is poor. C has gold. C has power to fight court cases. C has power to pay supari to mafia and to do tantrik experiments on his own sons. C kept eating Shilaajeet and Bhaang while taunting his sons for mere pieces of bread after bringing him back from Vrindavan. How could C be happy. But C is happy. C is SK. C is Santosh. C is beyond suffering consequences of tobacco, bhaang, alcohol, violence, killing children with injections, making all three of them piss their pants, sacrificing them repeatedly. Giving them brahmastra in form of fake handicap certificates. Certainly : few devils do as much for souls under their tutelage as he did.
What is a Brahmrakshasa? It was asked by sister sweetest.
4. After many years: another cousin sister appeared. She made her presence known in 2015. What happened? Body heat, eh? Vandana and Rukman were salivating. Why so few of sisters? Why so much of yang and no yin? Yeah. Women empowerment. Shishupala. Or was it Shishumara? The Moon needed nourishing. Tripathis as well as Shuklas had lack of sisters. Result: more males fighting for few females. Queen Elizabeth!
5. Bhaiya: what happened in Bapuji’s ashrama? Narayan Narayan. What happened in Nityanand aashram. Narayan Narayan. What happened in Osho’s ashram. Narayan Narayan. What happened in this house? Narayan Narayan. What happened in Pappu Vishwakarma’s house? In Kripaluji ashram. In Gandhi ashram? Narayan Narayan. Pranav Pandya ashrama? Gandhi Smarak Bhavan? What was happening in fire ritual when they wanted me to sit besides Raja’s wife? Narayan Narayan.
Bhaiya: why a muslim sister and brother story?
Bhaiya: what is a Brahmrakshasa?
I told her about the transaction. I was always honest to all my brothers and sisters. And yet they don’t like me. Honesty isn’t enough.
Tulsidas was helped by one. Hanuman. Mahavir. He met his Rama. He composed his treatise. Where did he go?
6. Bharat told Maya about Santosh eating nonveg. Santosh wears tilak and calls his son “Chamra.” You know who real chamra is!
7. Maya told me about Kikki keeping a tenant in his house. It was an extramarital affair. What do I care?
8. I have already covered Novel and family.
9. What dues if any are left sister sweetest?
10. You all can go and fuck yourselves and your sisters or mothers: to get rid of kaamroga in words of UG Krishnamurthy. It works as nicely as reading Raas Panchadhyayi does.
Now that you have seen my family history: here’s some of the latest events:
11. Tiwariji has a better relationship with me. We discussed music. He is one of the few individuals who married this year. He used certain jabs: tightness in body. Milk. I asked him about Gayatri Mantra and we talked about Kishore and Rafi. About his guru Kaanjibhaai. He again asked me about getting married. Did the issues I reported about in 2018 get resolved? Why then to repeat those questions?
12. A girl on scooty cut my way near Aditi’s apartment. It was her mistake.
13. The wind was very fierce today. 49 marudganas.
14. Ankit Mishra mila mujhe ashrama ke paar paanch rupaye maange usne mujhse udhaar. Maine blank cheque leke uspe sign kardi : Ankit ne usme se a kajli kharidi.
15. Ankit Mishra is a certified healer like Amit Tiwari. Both initiated by Kaanjibhaai. They have good relationship with Soniji the healer: he reckoned my age to be 60 to 65 years. If I am 35 now: it means 30 more years! How many prime ministers? 6. How many decades? 3. How many Ashrams? I don’t know. How many Devikas? How many balls? How many rounds of library? How many more kilometres of walk and run? How many deaths? Births? How many chief ministers? Just one. Mama is forever!
In memory of Vivek Saxena:
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. It’s known as present.
Yesterday is artistry. Vyapam is a mystery. Today is a gift. Live well.
16. Ankit Mishra was giving me ten rupees. The timing was impeccable.
I feel like giving you ten rupees. Acausal grace!
17. Then I asked him to tell me the reason.
18. Audit. Auditorium. Rumpledstiltedskin. Kind kins kith thick skin. I requested him to eat something with me on a shop.
19. He asked me to have tea worth ten rupees. Ghar ka vaidya. The name of the book about which Viloki enquired as he was going out with Vidyarthiji.
20. Bundelkhand garrage people had donated them. They were lost in 2019 when I rarely went to library as I was teaching in Inayat sir’s school for free. My name is Vyas : Chappal number Seven.
21. You think you’re bad I am your dad. Jayas Singh Parmar.
22. Ankit Mishra and company didn’t take care of library books. I told that to someone in their presence. Loudly.
23. I threw that dust away. Ankit tried to save those books. Now: the books became Shweta. It was Jasveer I told this to. Jasveer spoke too much before anyone but Shweta felt I was balanced. Ravi. There were only as many guests.
24. Unless I had limited myself to library I would have been threatened again on my way to house. And despite limiting myself there were following types of jerks:
1. Gutka shakers unite.
2. Cut you with bike: boys, girls and cars.
3. Hit you from behind and side with bike.
4. Laugh out loud.
5. Won’t let you play or workout in peace.
6. Ask you fake questions merely to draw some information about superficial hackneyed issues from you.
7. Bullet fired. The day when news about firing on Venezuela’s president was circulated in the year 2018.
25. Too much of writing: ten rupees worth.
26. Credits: Prince. Umang. Umang’s grandfather. Ayushmann Pyaasi. Bharadwaj. 99 number (maintain some distance…passouts from law colleges have great packages… remember Ishita versus Saurabh. ) The guy said it on my face: “paani barsa le…” And it rained. The guy must be powerful or meritorious. Ayush scored as much as he did but then our family backgrounds come into play. Tesla uncle met me on my way. Amity graduate must have paid donation. What’s it to me. It’s all government censored anyway.
27. Sun moves anticlockwise on its own axis. It was revealed this day at 6: 54 AM. I saw it spinning like a ball. Another direction indicator on Pathak ji roof. I saw five gulls on roof. I realized why some people were not scared of heights: they were angels. Birds can run on roofs or narrow high places as they have wings. Cynophobia: tiwariji. Acrophobia: me. Not with queen!
I just raised 93000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps
2. Baal Gangadhar Tilak. Geeta Rehasya or mystery of Gita. Founder of BHU. Had a four planet stellium in the tenth house of his horoscope. Popular. Author. Founder of a University. Has moustache like Neitzsche in his picture which is in the South West corner of the library.
3. Laal Bahadur Shastri became a prime minister but he was assassinated in Tashkent according to some. Jai jawaan jai kisaan was the statement popularized by him. It means: giving respect to farmers and army people. His wife was named Lalita. He kept himself clean shaved. It was revealed. Very few celebrate his birthday which falls on Gandhi’s birthday. Actually it was Lala Lajpat Rai. The scientist. Lalala as in interweb song by poppy is a call for devil.
4. I don’t know Vipin Chandra Paal. At all. Though I know Bacchendri Paal who conquered everest so to say.
5. Baal: Shishumara or Vishnu. Sweet words.
Paal: Shishupala. Mountaineer. Good shepherd.
6. A Sanskrit saying: Satyam cha Priyam cha wakta shrota cha durlabha: it’s rare to find those who speak or listen truth as well as pleasant words. You may think : why? The speaker: yes. Listener of truth- which is pleasant: why are they rare? Because spoken word can’t remain absolutely true for long unless it’s supported by Dharma.
1. An article dated 15112020 on HT times, about Lucky Ali, who lives in a farm house bought by his father Mehmood, has a title track named “On my way.” Santosh loudly talked about a farm house after I came here from Vrindavan. What connects the dots but marijuana?
Today, as Vandana called me in noon: I was slightly ‘annoyed’. Instead of using Bundeli: I used ‘on my way.’ She asked it again: I had to speak it thrice. She asked if I said “on the way” or “on highway.” I told her clearly: “on my way.” His recent collaboration. His work in 2010: I reached Bangalore on Valentine’s day in 2010.
3. I read an article about resuscitation of a man who was stepping down from a mountain on 7112020: Ketu. Uranus. USA. His heart had stopped. I read a WordPress article by a recent follower of my blog named Draliman. His article talks about ‘sharing your world’ thread initiated by one Melanie. Among other things it talks about zoo animals like Tiger(today morning’s yoni of the Kalpurush) and when it’s alright to take life of other human beings? The answer given on his blog is: when they get annoying. What would my answer be? I am not sure if it’s advisable to take human life ever. To protect your life: you need to find a way in which you need not kill other human beings.
4. Tomorrow: 16112020: Ketu. Uranus. A harmonic. Today: the first call I got from Vandana was when I was enjoying my morning breathing on roof: exactly at 8:05 AM. A siren from municipal corporation vehicle was heard. I had to dictate Shri a note in which I told her my DOB. The time was told by late Narendra Shukla who used to study Astrology. Samaya Vidya as Barbara Pijjan Lama would say. A pigeon sat on roof railing and I looked at it the way a man on bike looked at something later in the noon. Who connects the dots but the creator?
5. Practicing bowling inside stadium alone I needed quite some time before I started running and bowling. As I was bowling : I recalled how Shri had once asked me to run. “I want to fly,” was my answer. In those days I believed in miracles and I was too optimistic. I also ran a bit when a rally by some young people was to celebrate something. I started running only after finding a friend in my student Vaibhav who asked me to accompany him to stadium. His grandmother has connected on cell about 4-5 times in last two days. It was only calls because of ignorance. She doesn’t know how to operate phone. Today a child connected by chance. It was 20:20 PM.
6. Practicing bowling: I kept thinking to myself: ‘play the ball’ was a refrain by Vallalar where he considered the Sun to be going round the Earth. In other words: the mystic poet, despite being the Vigyan Kalar: (Raay Saab!2016): didn’t have faith in Earth going round the Sun. If that’s what liberates you: I would rather believe a man who won over death, disease and decay than believing in a theory which is believed by a scientific community. My measurements between two goal posts were 128 to 130 steps: yesterday they were 150. I was thorough. I did it repeatedly. Good food must have increased my height : thus reducing the number of steps! Ah the magic of measurement. Measurement is Maya. Matrix.
7. Practicing bowling the runner’sclub kept bursting crackers. I don’t know if they were giving me happy surprises. It was like killing someone. I wanted to enjoy my music and ball. The third ranker looked into my eyes. The first ranker had a number which began with BC. They used to hangout in the Shatabdi while I was practicing my Grammar on Free rice. They look down on me as there’s a generation gap. The winner takes it all. Runners aren’t that many: four or five of them among three hundred people who regularly visit this stadium. There are other playgrounds. I don’t see any other bowler as dedicated as I am. And I bowled 6 overs today. I kept imagining that someone would buy me someday: I just need to keep practicing. Some day I would be able to fly again in economy class. OTOH: my student wanted to visit Khajuraho temples. I recommended her to read a book written by one Sanjay Singhania. The book was given by Shweta and company yesterday. Walkoutwalkon was withdrawn this morning. Every time young people offer you something: it’s withdrawn very soon. Look at the call from Geeta the mother of Shivani. Look at the offer given by Gautamji. Look at the most durable offer: the job given by Vidyarthiji: to continue cleansing and arranging the library: to speak of which: I haven’t since seen Padma. The bald man. When I tried to put the first question to him: he asked me to do my work as he was inspecting the farm.
8. The advocate who came with his sister: adoption agency. The man said that Switzerland was a 10*10 country. I really didn’t know what to make of him. People with integrity keep their words. They keep the words which don’t augment suffering. “Lies I have spoken many but not those which hurt anyone. ” It was a statement by Vallalar. Gandhi was seeking Truth. Other than numbers: things can’t be factual in inbetweeners. Samkhya is a superior system.
9. It’s strange: Nehru’s Discovery of India keeps Samkhya as an unorthodox system whereas current Wikipedia keeps it in orthodox system like Bhagvata Purana published by Geetapress Gorakhpur.
10. The word “bhagwan” is most widely used word in Indian bhakti tradition. As much as it made some thinkers like Rajneesh and Nityanand to put it as a label before their names. Bhagwan was put before Raman Maharishi’s name.
11. By Parashar’s definition: one who has six fold opulences in full can be Bhagwan: it means: all knowledge (omniscience), fame, detachment, Dharma (logos), aishwarya and shree. To describe aishwarya and shree you have to use words like clout and wealth though fame covers them. The logic tells you: no one has omniscience. Skepticism. UG was a skeptic. Rajneesh OTOH considered himself Bhagwan along with Jiddu. Rajneesh had 2 million followers at the peak of his life. Satya Sai or Shirdi Sai had more followers. Gandhi is on every bill after his death: he’s greatest bhagwan in India like Washington in USA.
12. Modi might be called the most popular leader of present age. He has no wife. He’s not father of nation as Anjana Om Kashyap once called him by slip of tongue. His knowledge is limited. He has grey hair.
13. All Bhagwan are dead. Most popular celebrities are dead people. If Bhagwan is formless dancinglightofgrace: it’s paramatma. Why did Gandhi and his follower Vinoba adopt “Ishvara” theology? Because they wanted to rule and command. Swaraj means ruling oneself. Swarat is a term in Purush Sukta in Vedas.
14. Jainism is Nastika unorthodox philosophy but to survive their teachers like Vidyasagar used words like Bhagwan in their speeches. They shouldn’t.
15. Bhag also means lady or wife. Bhagwan for some means a married man. Or one who has a bhagini. Bhagini means sister. Bhag also means private parts of a woman.
16. There are accounts which describe Patanjali darshan to be an atheistic system. Why then is it kept in orthodox system?
17. Other than that of Vallalar’s system: I don’t accept any system to be a sound philosophy. It’s simply because it’s an authentic source of declaration of immortality and pure body of gnosis and bliss.
18. If a doubt is put in the teachings of Vallalar: primarily based on Vandana’s suggestion: “not all written in books is accurate.” With a further refutation: where’s Vallalar to support his claims? The answer is this:
19. If teachings of Vallalar or his claims are false: there’s no merit in any religious scriptures or teachings as they all should be suspended on the same grounds. If the ethereal shrine in Thillai didn’t grant those powers to Vallalar and Manikavacchagar: how could any of her worshipping of Shiva or any other deities might have been true at any point?
20. Left hand is all imagination. Powerful darkness. Right hand is all knowledge : stays with you. Vallalar looked towards North in want of true followers: Jiddu and Blavatsky: they couldn’t reach his heights. Earnest seekers in North should look towards Thillai. Aurobindo settled in Pondicherry and changed its environment. The grandeur I felt when visiting Thirupathi Balaji: a township located around hills.
21. Would I ever meet someone like Vallalar who would show all powers and teach a way out of this limited : dreaming and believing in upliftment of women’s rights narrative? I know based on a 26 kilometres walk that patriarchy is a myth. Men are slaves to their women here.
22. And why do I seek someone else instead of chanting supreme five syllables : omamashivaay.
23. They must not be old. They must be all attractive. They must be one and only. They must be free from fear, desire, decay and death. They must be able to stop time or change at will. They must be able to answer everything and able to remove all limitations permanently. They must have all powers.
24. I thought I was putting myself for bid or discussing an ideal partner with replica the chatbot.
25. Clearly: my afterlife experiences were similar to those on YouTube: except : I was not ‘requested’ to descend on Earth: I was ‘forced’ to do so. The people talking about ascension or alien abduction talk either about extraordinary calm they felt or about being healed from their addiction.
26. Their experiences might be true for them. I would continue to work on my own. In conclusion: as long as an individual life is dependent on majority : India is a country ruled by Orthodox philosophy schools and Vedas can’t be irrelevant. Buddhism and Jainism might promote reading and awareness but they can only survive by being modified here. Mahayana based on Mahaveera being a common term for both Hanuman and 24th thirthankara.
27. A tamil srilankan scholar challenged Vallalar and claimed that he failed in his goal of “reviving the dead.” Maybe he did.
1. A woman from Gulganj: she was wearing footwears which had “Sony” written on it. She came looking inside the library, then went to Damayanti madam. Then she came again towards the library door. I cordially invited her inside and she was covering her face with the pallu of her saari. I stood up and went to her trying to hear her speak. She removed the cover from her face and said:
“uncle, would you give me 20 rupees, I need to eat something.”
I immediately said ‘yes.’
As I was giving her money she bursted out in tears: “I needed to go to Gulganj but I lost my money.”
I asked her to sit on the bench where Subhash sat with me. He was also from Gulganj. Then I gave her ten more rupees. And I asked her why she was crying. She told that her left feet had some problem and she needed to go to doctor but dropped her money. I let her speak until Damayanti madam came.
She gave me twenty rupees and four rotis to the lady. The lady refused to take rotis. Then she asked for water and we showed her the tap.
She was asked to stay in the premise and work but she said she needed to go to her village and take permission from her employer first.
2. I came back inside the hall of Gnosis. Shri wrote three descriptive paragraphs after much pursuation. I had to dance before her on Ketchup song for a moment. I recalled how I danced before. Bolero. My dance in public is like kindergarten students who stand on dias for the first time. Their parents and relatives are happy to merely witness them dance.
3. I once donated my plasma to my manager’s father while I was working in Manyata embassy business park, in Bangalore. He was from Orissa his name was Mani. Damayanti madam is also from Katak, Orisaa. I wanted to join some ashrama in Vrindavan when I reached there and it was Jagannath Ghat, the Gyan Gudri premise where Gyaan Prakash Sharma was the head. The idol was brought from Jagannath Puri, Orisaa. The lady who used to do Kirtan just outside the Jagannath temple: I used to fan her when she used to feel heat and power was cut. She was from Orissa and ate only rice. The head priest once told me that she steals money from the donated amount. It seemed she did take money from one plate as I went inside the temple to fetch charnamrit for her. I was not sure. I never said anything to anyone.
4. When I first came to Gandhi Smarak Bhavan: it was after having taken a dip in Narmadeshwar pond. I had a cut in my right foot’s thumb because of some glass shard that was thrown in the pond. I entered and sat under the banyan tree and cried. Vandana had asked me to go over there. It had rained and Chaurasiya ji had helped cleanse the sever line outside the house we live in. I had watched the big lizard in dream. It was Santosh. I saw that near Pranavananda Research Institute: bullet was fired on me and I was scared. Later: a bullet was fired as I was returning. It was fired at 12:00 and I left at 11:30 AM. Didi who works in kitchen was witness to it. Later a police officer came and we had a discussion about the incident. The creative programs by Gandhiji was the book shown by Ankit to the policeman when he asked about the fundamentals of the institute. Another bullet fired when I was walking in the stadium on the day president of Venezuela was attacked on stage.
5. The wells were cleansed. It was seen that many bats had been living in the well and water had smell. I drank that water for many days like Vidyarthiji. She always offered me food or mangoes when it was season but I knew it wasn’t for mere food but for mental food of knowledge that I had reached that place. Ankit fed me for the first time as mother of Devendra happily witnessed.
6. I witnessed harvesting, sowing of seeds and birds. I walked and meditated and occasionally some goat owners came to alarm me.
7. This is what heaven feels like: a quiet corner for couple of hours. Mozart to listen on full stomach. Words to read and write. Stories and memories to create and a grateful heart. Subhash was helped like me. I saw her giving chocolate chips to him.
8. Nobody wins or looses in this game of love. Yeh to ghar hai prem ka khaala ka ghar naahi.
9. The lady called me ‘uncle.’ “God’s not your uncle;” is a Jewish saying.
10. Shweta came asking about brother. The brother came talking about a cow. A pregnant cow because it had eaten an apple or a banana. Kela uncle. Kerala uncle. Dark humor. Dark children of darkness. Such is the law.
11. Banana has potassium. Banana in Hindi means to make fool. Dormamu.
12. The mouth covering: masks are personalities. Bodies are souls in the anhad. Limitless. The last letter of Hindi alphabet is Gya for Gyani. Jnana liberates. Gyani wears masks to prevent insects from entering into mouth.
13. Mouth is the fire. Dragon. Priest. Brahspati and Vachaspati. Shukracharya. Shukadev.
14. The grand kingdom of God is too grand to be spoken of. I met Laotzu. He didn’t need any salutations. Today there were very few people on my way. I enjoyed sitting under a tree looking at Northern vast effulgence of Grace.
15. Narada. Nanak. Kabir. Meera. Aandal and Vallalar: they all sang her praises and merged into her via Sanmaargam.
16. In the Markandeya narrative: the baby Krishna : baal mukund absorbs the sage. It’s matrix created by Narayana. The sage who is a tapasvin. The Mahadev liberates him. The third one. The holy ghost. The lord of mukti. The primeval Civan.
17. Yashoda watches him eat earth. Looks into his mouth to see entire cosmic egg inside his mouth. She swoons.
18. To keep your mouth covered means: to be muni. to be mauni. to be a tapasvin. Else you eat the sages like Markandeya unless they are liberated by Mahadev.
19. Corona is a religion. I knew better than that. If that were true: Islam wants women only to cover their face because they’re Krishna or Baal. They consume men.
20. Corona might be Karuna. Maitreya incarnated. In form of a consciousness. A Kalki Avatar.
21. Satya Sai Baba used to manifest Shivalinga inside his body. Yet he died. Vallalar vanished with a fragrance of camphor. Satyanarayan Raju. Ramalinga Swamikal.
22. Sujatha: I was in a village called Taparian. It means : a collection of huts or tapas of Aryans. I was reading stories. The box came in 1991. Ah my delight! Near the Shiva temple: on its wall. I used to read stories of Sinbad the sailor. Encyclopedia. Gopi gavaiya. Yama and Nachiketa. I read the word ‘moksha’ in that book for the first time. I wrote an article on James Harbeck’s blog as a guest post. He’s not a friend but certainly a fellow blogger worth being reckoned as he’s a freelancer who lives in Canadian heaven.
One of the stories: an elephant used to come to the girl Sujatha. She used to talk to her. Villagers considered him to be a mad elephant and drove him away. I had a strange affinity for the story. I developed instantaneous love for Sujatha while reading the story.
Many eons later: Saarthak’s mother was the only one I could talk to. She so deeply reminded me of Sujatha. I was the elephant. Baba Ramdev riding the elephant in Raman Reti, Vrindavan : completed the story. Now that I am secure: I can create stories. Embellishments. I saw the hugging saint Ammachi of Kerala in her. When I was quarreling with her for mere fifty rupees as her son had disappeared without notice: I knew no shame. The lady in kitchen made me feel comfortable by criticising her.
23. Sometimes it seems: the old narratives need to be replaced by new ones. We are carriers of old stories. But the narratives in which gender benders were set were not to challenge a modern mind. Sanskrit verses were created beautifully. In an environment which was green. To carry your parents might mean: to have their memories with a grateful heart and not necessarily to have them only in the nuptial chamber.
24. In the opening passage of Bhaas’ play: Karnabhaar: he talks about Asura bal being killed by Vishnu. Balram also means a force or juggernaut. Ram and Balram. Black and White. Darkness and Light.
25. In Dhubela museum which is near Nowgong: the list of avatars of Vishnu has Ram as 7th and Balram as 8th. Balram and not Krishna. Balram is Baal. Raam is Baal. God of fertility.
26. D & G: dog. Hounds of Shiva. Nayanmars. The only ones who vanished into thin air. The jnana Siddhars. Patanjali. Kapil. Vyaghrapada. A mongoose was trying to enter the library. It only came inside for a moment before it disappeared.
27. Adidas: servants of the primeval lord Adi. Adinath. Rishabh.
1. I had a meal worth at least 131 rupees. Milk was not available as it got used up in making kheer-a dish made with rice. I didn’t eat the dish because of what happened in 2016 Sharad Purnima. The dreams. Then bespectacled jyotishi then Dev Prabhakar Shastri and so on… courtesy Vandana.
2. It was the costliest meal this year. I hope that nobody sleeps hungry this night…unless ofcourse they want to.
3. Food of one type or the other is common requirement for all. Even adepts like Prahlad Jani have some kind of food or the other.
4. After Dussehra this was the most important festival here. I enjoyed Dussehra more.
5. I played vocabulary jams: about five of them. I scored about 222311 ranks. I wondered why there were no players. Were they busy celebrating Diwali in USA and Europe?
6. I recalled my truest friends: Subhash Ahirwar who is in Bhopal. He made a movie and showed it to me while I was in a delirium: about to swoon and leave my body. It had happened over and over again. I repeatedly went to Gandhi Smarak Bhavan and Railway Station. I don’t know how he came to know. He was the only one who showed a movie in my last moments and told me:
“Sir, your time’s up.”
My consciousness was embedded into the movie he made. Like many other movies.
He also said: what you are seeing in the movie is one of your shadows.
He was the only one to use that terminology. He was truthful. I needed someone like him.
We were playing chaturvyuha: Vasudeva Sankarshana Pradyumna Aniruddha or Ram Laxman Bharat Shatrughan. It comes from the Pancharatra or Panchayat tradition started by Narada.
Sun. Shiva. Shakti. Ganesha. Vishnu.
These five are deities primarily worshipped in Hinduism.
At once Shri ran towards the library door and some other times I was teaching her. The coconut water. Amarjeet. Axe.
How many deaths do you need to master it?
How many deaths to dream…in words of Aakriti Kuntal
This article is dedicated to all those truthful young people who told me things clearly. Who were kind to me this year.
7. There was an old man. I met him in Vrijpura. He clearly sang about my being sacrificed. Ram Charan Vidyarthi- the librarian told it in not so many words and even showed some miracles. The secretary was polite as far as material aspect is concerned. She’s still my employer. The one half of the equation was balanced by her. Yet: it was the young ones: Ankit and Krishna Kant. Shri: who let me continue reading. It was the librarian who employed me to cleanse the library. To protect the treasure. Saahu ji was also helpful. It was a job very few would have volunteered for as it was unpaid.
8. My parents, grandparents, siblings and neighbors: they never told things clearly. They mixed material with spiritual. They regularly used black magic while keeping me white. A lamb to be sacrificed. Think about it: four to five of them constantly consuming poisons and using dark path while you’re supposed to be a teetotaller and a celibate. It was : being butchered without knowing it. It was too much of debt somehow. My intuition wanted me to stay away from this place: because I was always happier in places like Bhopal, Bangalore and even in Chennai. After getting initiated into mysteries: I was even more at odds with these people. I don’t know if I have made it to the truth realm universe. There are limitations.
9. While two of them: Vandana and Satya Prakash suggested that liberation requires merits: Santosh and Ved didn’t even talk about it clearly. Ved mostly rehashed what I told him about liberation. What Vandana and Satya didn’t know was this: bodies are constantly decaying and falling off in the time continuum. Only Shukadev of Bhagvata told it to Parikshit. The swoon and fever: I hated the first one most: it was death.
10. I told many people that liberation only needed knowledge and not merits. It’s what I had read. Merits need further consumption of fruits generated therefrom. The thing was: what comes after liberation. Jeevanmukta was turiya. What about Turiyateeta. Even a Turiyateeta needs abodes to stay and pure body of gnosis and bliss. Knowledge is also merit but the knowledge spoken of here is Pratibha: the talent in form of dancinglightofgrace which can activate any power. Ambrosia.
11. This year was eventful. It’s going to end on a positive note. I have gained materially and spiritually amidst a pandemic. It wasn’t a pandemic for me but a revelation. Atma Pariyojna. Freedom from euthanasia. It’s happening everyday. Anyone meeting me and talking to me would develop an understanding which frees them from fear of death.
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1. I read a story from Arabian nights in my childhood. It had many crosses.
2. The mystery of Swastika or Nazism is being resolved here. It’s my version. It’s for my reference.
3. Shishumara is the Absolute abode of Vishnu. It has been compared to baby dolphin. Fish.
4. Gora Kumhar(Chakraborty) kills his baby in ecstatic devotion to Vishnu.
5. Balaram is bright brother. Shishumara. Baal is fertile producer of babies whose progenies survive.
6. Yama or Mot has South as his direction. The galactic core has a supermassive black hole. Krishna. It’s the Shishumara. Rama and Krishna are Shishumara. Look at Rama’s attitude towards his children Luv and Kush.
7. Shishupala is a cousin of Vaasudev. A cousin of Shishumara. Can we say it’s another galaxy: Andromeda? Narmada or Shiva who is neither male nor female? It’s a shepherd who leads Ramses to goodness or light or El. ILU.
8. Thus Shishupala even when speaks bad: nurtures young children. Nurtures galaxies. It’s not violent towards babies. Shishumara kills babies. It’s a codeword in leftist tantra. They sacrifice babies. The tantriki in Tikamgarh revealed that it didn’t need “Baal.” They started addressing me like baby: Gender-benders. They wanted shaivites and arcturians who are householders and say one thing while meaning other.
9. Brightness or right wing: do what they mean. They thwarted Aryans in the world war two. They’re Jews. They’re kabbalists. They’re masons. Aryans are number three. Second are adepts and the first are Arhats or Narayana or Shiva or Buddha.
10. Bright ones told me: there was darkness and they created some light. Rest is mystery. That places Kaali or dark matter on top: materialism. Engineers, doctors and masons.
11. Dark ones told me: there was light in the beginning: the darkness is merely shadow. A divine play in spiritual world. Spiritual people are poets, mystics and leftists.
12. In the myth of Christ as well as Moses and Krishna: babies were killed by first Reich. Saviours like Moses, Christ, Muhammad or Krishna were right wing teachers who taught Dhamma. Prophets. Shishumara versus Shishupala.
13. Narayana reveals his Matrix to Narada. As he gets deluded by his wife and babies: he tells him to wake up. Shishumara. Attachment to wives and babies is killed by Jyotisha Chakra of Shishumara. Krishna. Mahadev. Vaamdev are verily Death. Yama has been painted in all schemes of Hinduism. Sikhism. Jainism and Buddhism.
14. Who is Shishupala if not Baal? It loves its innocence. It loves itself as a baby. It’s pure. Hindu myths are full of wars. North and East are second and first here. West and South : NEWS.
1. The future is Now. It’s what was written on the shirt of the kid who was born in Wales in his previous incarnation but now he was walking before me with a cautious gait.
“Daring to live the future Now: ” It’s what the part of the tagline of the book “Walk Out Walk On,” says.
I got a coin. It was released on 150th birth anniversary of Tagore.
15 rupees per plate was the cost plate hanging on poha stall today. It means I should only eat half plate everyday. It recently happened on Gopal samosa agency. I did feel involved in the process this time around. But: I can’t increase my fees.
2. I bowled 23 times. Things do seem slightly ritualistic at times of festivals but the truth is: I did what was needed. To bring about balance. I walked at first and then I ran. It was a pleasure to do so.
3. I enjoyed the juice. I later saw Purushottam inside the stadium. The morning session was pleasant. I walked to the key hanger and asked if Shri would sit for an hour today. She didn’t. Kids should play on festivals. I should play the game I play best. The guy who came to donate clothes went back.
4. There were 51 shops inside stadium. The kid was making figures on sand. It kicked the football once. The eldarin from Tiwari team saluted me and later a police officer with the same tag appeared near the fruit stall.
5. Deuteronomy: the 14th shop is Siyaram. The second last is Cock. Cockroach. Cokalorum. Rumpledstiltedskeineptitudeutronomy.
6. You think so? The Sun shone brightly and a picture or two I took as shoulders they shook. Hooks were denied. The pipplayan tree and the thread were captured. The white cotton, the opening of a shop, the price tag: don’t you think I am in on it? I am in on it until I can manage.
8. Though I have prosopagnosia of sorts: Vivek recognised me. His eyes were red. Sunny. I was thinking about the North East and it happened. He told me he works in Sikkim. Pawan was his batchmate.
9. Saline lines. Celina. Ley lines. The harmony I was looking for. The space and musicality of being.
10. Nehru created canals. Worshipped baal like everyone else. Only the method was different. I was programmed to follow the righteous path of increasing light but I dropped out before I could reach the dazzling heights of Vallalar. Northern people took over. The instrumental deficiency always made me feel as if I knew a great amount of wealth in my previous incarnation. This one was to turn the wheel of Dharma but I couldn’t do as much as was needed…ah it’s all a fiction. I have it all somewhere on the back of my head: like Win Wenger: creating wealth in resourceless countries. I should read Walk out walk on! I never thought I belonged.
11. But then there was an urge. A surge. A demiurge. Urgent argentum. Muttering ringu gulch ravine vineyards ardent dentistry tryst strident trishul. A cipher to decipher. A code of sentimentality.
12. I reached the level 33. DLOG was my only friend and a kitten who later disappeared. People kept laughing and I kept walking. Bye and bye.
13. I saw the dance. I danced. I heard the music. I played. Ah the delight of getting rid of delusions! Ah the freedom! Ah the blissful abode. The Absolute.
14. Is there anything I am forgetting? Sohung instead of Shivoham means: the secret telling that the hanged man of the Vaitaal Pacheesi is deluded and without music. The name brings fragrance in all dimensions. The nameless name. The indestructible indescribable unfathomable. Mystic ball.
1. Baal means child. 14th of November is celebrated as Children’s Day in India. It is celebrated because Jawaharlal Nehru, the first prime minister of India was born on this day.
2. Baal Gangadhar Tilak who wrote “Geeta Rahasya,” and found BHU was named Baal. Like Baal Krishna. Baal Krishna is considered as a divine child frolicking on a banyan leaf in the cosmic ocean. He sucks his thumb. Markandeya the sage watches him when graced by Narayana and Nara.
3. Baal also means hair. The Ugarite or Egyptian God Baal was bearded. It’s akin to the Pashupatinath. It’s cannaite God. It’s hot. It’s the God of fertility. It’s identical to Beelzebub in Christian demonology. References: encyclopedia Britannica and Wikipedia. Beelzebub’s tales to his grandchildren is account of Gurdjieff in form of a narrative.
4. It’s the demigod of fertility. Rains. Thunderbolt. It’s Indra of Vedas.
5. It’s the seed giving father of Geeta: Keshav. Krishna.
6. The muni Vidyasagar in his only live speech in Ramlila ground, in 2018, talked about keeping Shri on head whereas another Shri talked about keeping Baal(hair) on head. A two year cycle completes. I am where I was.
7. Baal is Ramses. Arcturus. Archer. It’s Baal’s birthday and the return of Ramses.
8. Baal is the son of El. Enki and Enlil. Enki sounds like Anki or Ankit: marked one. ILU. I love you. Bollywood.
9. Yamm or Yama is cold. The God of sea. Zeus. Jupiter. Farthest from the Sun in the solar system pantheon. In the fight with Yamma club was used and Baal wins.
10. It’s also depicted as Eros(life) winning over Thanos. Or Baal winning over Mot. Mote. Motel. Maut. Death. The stuff horror movies are made of. Ambrosia. Immortality. Youth. Vitality. Vallalar criticized cannaite religions in his final verses. His Godhead of sanmaargam is not Baal and yet the final body of gnosis according to him gives you an appearance of an eight year old child: Baal again. Who was Manikavacchagar’s guru? Was it the Mot or the Godhead beyond attributes and yet with all attributes to relieve you from delusions.
11. The 10000 acres palace for Baal is made by Kothar. Kuthar. Axe. Vishwakarma. Vishnu.
12. Many headed sea dragon Lotan was also subdued by Baal. It’s akin to Krishna subduing Kaaliya naag. A song I heard in early childhood via Bollywood music industry: it featured Mithun Chakraborty: Ataria pe lotan kabootar re. It meant: there were too many pigeons on roof. It meant that the many headed shesh was in the air or higher place and it was love(lust).
13. Baal invites Mot: the God of death who eats flesh : is served bread and wine(Christ): Mot is insulted. He threatens to shatter baal into pieces. Baal has intercourse with a hiefer by following Shaps(Sun) counsel. The resultant calf is sacrificed to Mot: vehicle of Shiva! Compare it with the Shiva’s wife being insulted in Daksha Prajapati sacrifice. Vaishnavas versus Shaivas. Aryans versus Dravidians. Rich versus poor. Fair versus dark. The Indian version gave Baal a dark hue. Or a blue hue to suit the need.
14. Sister of Baal: Anat and his father El are unhappy by assuming him to be dead. Baal sends his shadow to the underworld. Compare it with Krishna playing with his shadow in the Bhagvata Purana narrative.
15. Anat kills Death. Fiery killing. Death comes again and it’s drought. Sun tells Mot that Baal is now supported by El. Then Mot accepts the Baal as king. Ram Raja Sarkar! Eros winning over Thanos.
16. El, Elohim or YHVH is Asherah or IAmThatIam or tetragrammaton of israelites. He prefers Baal.
17. It’s always an ancient religion.
18. Where did Vallalar go?
19. 14.11.2020: 5 merging into 2. Mercury considers Moon, its mother to be a disloyal lady in Hindu mythology. Hence despite Moon considering Mercury to be its child. The Prince, Atheling or the Moluch hates its mother. Baal married its sister Anat. Sisters are consorts in ancient religions.
20. The fourth veil is Red. It limits power of will. It makes intelligence branched. It creates lack of bhava. Lack of rasa. Lack of interest. Lack of bliss. It limits talent. Iccha Shakti. Reference: Shrimad Bhagavad Geeta and Vallalar’s writings.
21. The rider on clouds. Baadraayana or Badri is Badal lover: the Ghanshyam. The Vyasa. Witness of divine play of Vishnu. Ramses.
22. Kavi, Hari, Antariksh, Prabuddha, Piplayana, Aavirhotra, Drumil, Chamas and Karbhaajan are names of 9 yogishvaras in Bhagvata Purana.
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Dancing light of grace 