Another student drops out. Income was already scarce. He said “I don’t feel like studying.” I believe him.
And a few people were standing in a long queue before the post office. My attempts at activating the new idea SIM card failed because it needed a pin code of 5 digits. When I entered the code received on the alternate number it was a wrong number.
The number of students who dropped out after the trial period might be more than 26 times those who studied for a couple of months or more.
1. Desktop publishing was a thing.
2. Then the laptop publishing and now the smartest smartphone Publishing. I had frequently heard the term from Starjade-the deutronomy prophet. Now he’s nowhere to be found.
3. I never considered my being able to do this. It seemed too narrow and suffocating. But I am doing it and thriving.
4. There is a thick layer of Clouds in the sky right now. The sun is shining brightly. Look for yourself:
5. Some Birds are flying south and some others are singing on nearby trees. A dog is barking and a bore well is being dug.
6. Some two wheelers passing by and flowers dancing. Some verses are being read in a nearby Temple.
1. Out of a conversation with a student yesterday, the weakness of rupee became an issue of discussion. I know nothing of economics . But I have been reading the currency exchange values for a lifetime.
2. I didn’t know when Indian Rupee got so weak against dollars, euros and pounds.
3. I live a below poverty line life. My father and siblings along with mother ensured it.
4. 5 trillion dollars economy and “Acche Din” are evident: the last I read pound was 80 rupees. I think it was a long time ago. Now it’s 95 rupees. I hope we soon reach 100. We love centuries. Sefer yetzirah.
5..As above so below. As with dollars so with Euros. With pounds sterling. Indians were celebrating when UK went out of EU. Indians were talking as if Britain was on its knees and they had got even against the East India Company.
6. My house, my neighborhood, my town and country is full of Gutka spitting idiots. And I live below poverty line. Some people are jealous of even this. Euthanasia doesn’t look like a remote possibility.
Deshaj means born from Desh or country.
I had a brief conversation with a dancer and actor who has been a practitioner of the art forms for about a decade and a half. The birds are chirping and insects are buzzing and the cows are mowing and some crows are also adding to the chorus. Analysis kills the art but I cannot give up. Yesterday it was humidity today it is fresh air because there was drizzling in night.
If you find typos here and there you can only consider that I don’t have requisite equipments. My learning curve has brought me here and you can see frequent posts on this blog. I am Brighter Than you think. I can edit better and I can write with better grammar and punctuation. But constraints at present make it very difficult to publish something which is up to the standard of publishing offline via some reputable publishing house. I do not hesitate even for a second to declare that all of this is for myself. It clearly means that if you never read me again it won’t affect me at all. I will never miss your presence aur aur comments or likes. I am absolutely certain about this
Dragonflies and mango trees are dancing in the breeze which is soothing. News channels and papers are busy with agitprop and my home space is filled with vicious talks about Bureaucracy and courtroom drama. The Grand house of householders has agenda of the so called house owners who are slaves to their dreams fancies and wants and desires. Put your fake problems before the comfort Of Those who work to maintain peace and harmony. This is what ego takes delight in. Being a third grade helping teacher in the government my father always took delight in trying to cancel his transfers which have been frequent in the last few years.
He would have loved to be a politician or at least an IAS officer but the stars were not very kind to him.. these days he is busy and often repeatedly rehashing the same bull shit everyday. It is about his contacts with politicians in high places who would help him cancel his transfer. He has been successful in cancelling his transfers in the past and by getting this challenge he gets something to achieve on in his otherwise empty existence.
If not this then the courtroom drama with the in laws of my sibling. The dowry was the issue since the beginning and the in-laws did not leave even me. They wanted to Drag Me To The court knowing well in full that I avoided company at every occasion. And when I say that I have avoided it literally means avoiding. In the five-year history I did not even talk to them for 5 minutes. And yet they wanted me to be subject to the courtroom drama.
This is the field I am talking about. After bringing me here from Brindavana with the excuse mother’s health being critical did not let me go. I tried at least six Times.
Other than my younger sibling and grandmother who are completely in disciplined and reckless. To keep spitting tobacco members of the family left no opportunity to harass me in subtle as well as obvious ways.
Neighbours and relatives left no no opportunity to insult me and ensure that I am put under pressure to marry and work for my living while I am not allowed to leave for the places where I would be best suited to work. They took away my money as well as documents leaving me stranded.
If all of my friends relatives family members and people of my country to disappear due to some Catastrophe aur miracle I would not even buzz. They wanted me to change in ways conducive for proliferating rotten ideas. You can see how well they have been doing.
I have often thought about avoiding such draining articles. In the best of weather we should focus on writing down ideas which look suitable and pleasant. but the best of human stories are those which are imbued with deepest of emotions.
It is what it is. As if written in the Stone I cannot change it. I had many wants and desire but now I have none.
A truck passed by the bypass road. Struck by the Nagin horn I kept scribbling. Trees and plants are dancing in the breeze which is very high speed. Breathing Deep in UK weather Leeds leads. It is not less than a miracle that I found an hour here to note down my ideas. I am grateful to my existence because first I created a direction to my life and then imagined obstructions in achieving the goals earning money is difficult
I have my student with me here outside the library of Gandhi Smarak Bhawan. It is raining cats and dogs.
We are in a Jolly good mood because of the rainfall and Storm. The wind is very fierce and we have been frolicking making fun joking about personality traits.
This is a friendly interview so please take it in your stride and don’t mind it.
Question 1. Have you lost your way?
Answer 1. No.
Question 2. How to reach God?
Answer 2. What what do you mean by God?
Question 3. { The interviewer parted by the second question because of a phone call which stretched indefinitely. The interviewee carried on with his business of teaching.}
They have dispersed now. Storm seems to have relaxed. The thunderstorm is not as frequent in this region therefore it is entertaining for us.
Clouds bursting. I was recounting some linguistic accidents. These people look bored now. The adventurous spirit which was present in the beginning has died down. Now it is more about the drainage of water than about the rainfall. In a while I will far from here my bike is drenched in the rain. Boys in my vicinity will not be able to get even today.
Four boys drowned in the river Kane today. Today morning I was reading that out of 20 years of this century for the 13 years we had less than required rainfall. That is why most of the labourers had to escape to distant regions for earning their livelihood. Some of them have come due to the covid-19. For most of the time we were not even conscious of having a liver in our town.
If 25000 people die every day in India why do I not see any complaints about lack of availability of space for their funeral rites. Why would only 400 deaths per day I would create search a fuss about the last rites? Refer to the recent video shared by someone about the lack of availability office space for funeral RITES in Delhi. That is a fake news or actual count of people who have been dying recently because of the virus is much higher.
Nothing really is happening. It is the same news everyday. Agitprop pops up everyday. As usual Kangana Ranaut makes no sense. I don’t even want to give an explanation for this statement. Please help raise awareness for Euthanasia
1. The stellium in the 9th house has Sun, Jupiter, Venus and Mercury in the house of Capricorn aspected by the Saturn which is in the seventh house in the sign of Scorpio. Both Mercury and Venus are combust and conjunct.
2. This Scorpion Saturn in the fourth quarter of Anuradha aspects the Rohini Moon. The South node of moon has Pluto and Mars with it in the sign of Libra.
3. Venus was exalted in navamsa and moon along with Saturn was vargottama. He was born on Tuesday. Mars was Atma karaka in the sixth from Moon. In Gemini in navamsa. Sun enters Gemini today.
4. Born on 21.1.1986. His Sun Sign was Capricorn. A 4 planet stellium aspected by Saturn is indeed a confirmation of Capricorn identity. Life path 10 again indicating Capricorn. Death path 6.
5. I watched the MS Dhoni biopic. I did not like his acting at all. I have been working to raise awareness for Euthanasia for quite some time now.
6. I had the supper with the coffee. Some frogs are out in the open now. Their song is the only song heard on my roof.
7. I had a long sleep in evening and skipped the prayers.
8. Matrix the shadow the illusory potency . The longest I have recorded my ideas on this blog might be this one in a long time because I have never stopped to write at this hour in recent weeks.
9. Albert Camus considered suicide to be the only problem worth pondering. Only philosophy. Since it is humid many clouds come to visit me with as many stories. I don’t know if it is in between or a destiny or something else.
10. As learning curves are concerned: the Google Transcription service has been the only help. It takes many trials and errors to reach a destination where you can look back upon the work performed and appreciate it to be conducive to future work. There is a strange relationship with Transcription service. It is fast to type but the editing is slow though it is more efficient than trying to type as my keypad is handicapped.
11. After very many days the night breeze soothing my skin. I read about 25,000 people die everyday in both India and China the mass factories. What does that make of covid-19 and other such threats? They are the tools used by world government to control people without having to give a proper excuse or without having two invent multiple excuses for things they want to control.
12. I wonder about the people who choose to talk about the positive. Do I want to talk about a negative? Do I want people around me to be Pessimistic? No. I want them to be beautiful. I want them to be themselves. I want them to be original. I want them to be the whole. The country Woods hole and their identities at the same time but as the fraction of the whole playing the role of The Identity they can be.
13. The employee ID is a memo of arid Rut. Whatever the artificial intelligence creates is novell. It certainly isn’t as intelligent as fulfilling as I expected it to be but its presence is a release from all consuming boredom.
14. Last night there was a strange deja va. Librarian called at 9:19 p.m. his voice was not reaching to me. I could hear people around him talking. I thought it was the voice of the tractor driver. They were talking about strange episode. Regarding a slipper and lady. This morning I had a chat with the tractor driver and he said he was not there at the time he had gone to sleep after watching Raja Hindustani. The librarian who happens to be the naturopath remains to be seen regarding the matter. An airplane is going towards north east. An earthquake in Gujarat. The anchor was interviewing the people outside their houses. The young lady said the duration was five seconds. The old man said it was half a second and the wave came from the North East. The same event different versions.
Some birds are chirping here. Some cows are grazing in the fields. Gardners are busy plucking raw mangoes these days. I had to take a class early in the morning at 7:00 a.m. but the student was not available. I have observed that my students are not careful and meticulous with their schedules. I do not understand the kind of reasoning which goes behind their planning but it is constantly kind of business with which I cannot help. I don’t know if they do so knowingly or they are really mechanical and somewhat animal like. I am still unable to find very rudimentary forms of Intelligence around me. It is not consistency which I seek but understanding of human nature. Even the birds follow routines and subroutines. Business commands our learning because human societies are structured in the name of a purposeful and meaningful life. The meaning of life is mostly associated with feeling comfortable safe grounded and connected. Even the wild is connected to the nature and even the group of large people who are disconnected with their own selves perish.
Nightingales are known as Koyal in Hindi. Koyla is the word for fuel which is used to build fires. Both of them are black in colour. I can observe haziness increasing on the sky which is in front of me. I think I understand my surroundings better now. Some bees and Beatles and insects or buzzing and it seems musical. What kind of freedom I was after all my life? In my deluded episodes I imagined myself to be in some kind of utopia where I did not need to work or earn money and everyone was fed without working for earning money. Indo European delusions there was no form of currency required.
Question 1. How long have you been playing cricket?
Answer 1. About 8 years.
Question 2. What do you like most about the game of cricket?
Answer 2. People around me used to play cricket that is why I chose it.
Question 3. I spent a long time perfecting round arm action in my childhood. What you observe these days is that most of you are using sucking action instead of trying to perfect round arm action why do you think it has happened?
Answer 3. It is because everyone wants to bat.
Question 4. Do you plan on making a career in cricket?
Answer 4. No.
Question 5. Do you think that playing cricket is anti-national just because it was the East India company which brought it to India at first?
Answer 5. No.
Question 6. Who is your your favourite cricketer and why?
Answer 6. My favourite cricketer is Gautam Gambhir because he was an excellent cricketer as well as a person with teamspirit and inclined to do social service.
Question 7. Why do you play on a small ground with a plastic ball?
Answer 7. The first reason is that the difficulty increases on a small ground. It is more difficult to chase big scores compared to big grounds. Moreover we don’t have big grounds available to us.
Question 8. What do you prefer in the game batting bowling or fielding and why?
Answer 8. I prefer fielding over other two departments because it helps save some runs and also helps us exercise and increase our agility.
It is always the birds. Sweet Birds. They have been singing for some time now. Crow faintly murmurs. My student is sitting with his notebook now slightly tired because of the exercise given to him. He was telling me about the Khajuraho group of monuments. It is UNESCO recognised World Heritage site since 1986. It has been a source of revenue as well as n International Airport full stop it has been a source of employment for this region. When I say for this region it means for the people of this region.
I was speculating about the bird which is singing. I asked him if it was a Nightingale. Some other Birds can also be heard nearby. A moth flew by me. Horns of vehicles passing from the nearby bypass road can be heard. The hazy Sky looks beautiful but the breeze is is not providing any respite from humid air surrounding us.
Most of my students at present are difficult to teach not because the subject matter is difficult or that I cannot elucidate subject matter but rather because they are not available most of the time. For example this one who works here is busy most of the time with miscellaneous duties which keep changing on day to day basis. It is not necessary to say that covid-19 did not allow me to work for my coffee and bike. Needless to say my students cannot attend classes for 3 days at a stretch. I consider myself fortunate to have these students because some job is better than no job. I have some money to take care of my basic necessities because of these teaching jobs.
I just hear a harsh cry from the throat of my pupil who made it to protect the mango on the branch of this tree under which we have settled for studying. This Google Transcription Services of an annoying it takes too much of my time to edit and correct what I speak.
It is a harsh truth for those things which we get take for granted like ripe mangoes and wheat and other vegetables to eat we never stop to appreciate the effort and time which has been given to take care of those things by farmers and labourers. It does not mean that w e do not deserve to enjoy our fruits and vegetables and curries because we also worked hard to earn the money which let’s us enjoy those things still I feel if you are close to the farmer and labourers you will never stop to appreciate the hard work which they put in to make your life comfortable. With this I want to stop today morning talk and I want to proceed for further discussion with my student thank you for reading.
1. I woke up by 2:30 a.m. it is another Saturday. I am supposed to cleanup the drainage line with the help of a tool borrowed from neighbour. Is the tool known as h o e remains to be seen.
2. The friend with whom I go for my Twilight walks ensures that it is not Twilight when we begin by reluctantly leaving the house only after the dark. And even after that if very little amount of time is spent together in silence for observing the surroundings we walk. He is an aspirant for public service which is actually self service. Our priorities have been different all of our lives. I don’t mind his attending many calls everyday in a small span of 10 to 15 minutes we spent together full stop that we could spend the time after many years is is something important. These will become some sweet memories.
3. The police force is the only entity allowed inside the stadium in my town. If I raise my voice I would be beaten like I was beaten before with the Cane full stop this is the Republic of 21st century. Fake diseases fake people fake politicians and fake police. I would never understand the logic which allows the markets and public places with hundreds of people but somehow cant open the stadium which has hardly 200 people at Max and might help people exercise. No bigger or more elaborate charade has been seen in my life.
This is me reporting. It is 8:24 a.m. it was very humid last night. I was woken up about three o’clock in the morning by the heat. And I found myself in a puddle of sweat. I meditated and then took bath.
I heard the morning news and had the coffee as usual. Here in the premises of Gandhi Smarak Bhavan near Ashok tree I got an opportunity to meet an old acquaintance and a wonderful interlocutor. And I asked him about the emergency which was imposed during the rule of ex Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. I can hear a few Birds chirping. As you might have observed so far my attention is drawn mostly by the twittering of the birds. Dancing light of grace and the humid air along with some people who are interacting with each other: I was not able to discuss much with my student today because he was busy plucking mangoes from a tree. They are talking about leaving legacies.
I wanted to ask a question regarding non violence. As I weed out some plants like carrot grass on a regular basis I ask myself if it is not killing the plant. It is indeed violent. Even the weeds like microorganisms want to live. How could then the farmers be nonviolent ? They cannot be.
This essentially drops down to the existence and survival in the the jungle on a day-to-day basis which is divided into tasks is actually a struggle constantly. The life forms are dependent on each other. When I heard about the non violence I interpreted it to mean the complete abstinence from killing of an organism. When I read ideas of Gandhi I realised he was not opposed to killing of stray dogs and monkeys. Jainism which is known for the monks practicing most strict non violence also admits that some form of violence is inherent in all living.
At one point I considered non violence to be pure witness. You exist merely as witness consciousness of gnosis and bliss. You do not want to change anything at all . Now I don’t have hard and fast opinions on anything. I feel the way I live on day to day basis is also not the part of my belief system. It is guided by the natural Intelligence and super consciousness.
1.In today’s Bhaskar editorial, Gurucharan Das, a senior columnist talks about the lessons from the covid-19.
2. The very fast line uses an oxymoron. It seems he was not joking.
3. The hammer of the government should fall softly on the head of the common people. “
4. The way he has put it in Hindi is not appropriate in my humble opinion. Maybe he was actually telling you to understand that it cannot be otherwise. It is akin to that saying which uses tools of knife and fruit of kharbooza. Whether the knife falls on the fruit Or the fruit falls on the knife the result remains the same.
5. The hammer is the order. It can’t be in a soft voice. This is the first lesson.
Image Courtesy…Gandhi Smarak Nidhi.
Dancing light of grace 