Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

Lingo

1. Am I a character in a book or a movie ? I often ask this to myself when dreams turn into nightmares and I get some freedom to rest.

2. I walked with a few boys in the stadium. One of them was putting on an act. It was related to a previous act. I found an element to admire about the teaching through play. Accountability: the guy works for Karuna foundation in the morning and coaches in mimicry and acting in the evening.

3. Most people I met here switch between multiple jobs. Just one job or duty is not enough. What would life be like in Tokyo or New York if it’s so difficult to survive in a city which metamorphosed into a division before my eyes?

4. I have seen a girl who was not afraid of lizard. I had a classmate who said he used to kill lizards with bare hands. I never liked the idea but did feel that he was courageous. A classmate stopped by the poha stall this morning. I saw the architecture. I realized that my death in my class in which he held my neck for far too long as I was gasping for air had some relation to his brother’s suicide. But it was merely a news. I never saw his brother. He turned out to be a bully later on. I might have been a violent guy before that happened. I used to take a great interest in organizing wrestling matches. In fact the whole environment was an arena. Like it’s today and I kept crying peace. It’s never going to change. Thus I kept working on certain skills : this is the only investment I would have made for the past is only a memory. Some fond others not so fond. Since then many apocalypses have happened. I bookmarked, earmarked, benchmarked certain sites, spots and themes to understand transformations. The Groundhog Day, Timecrimes and Triangle. Inception. Inland Empire. The Couch Forum. Mad Philosophers. I was convinced about linearity and then I saw nonlinearity as well as theatrics. Flux. Nirvana. The Bhagwad Geeta that I read in the childhood didn’t tell that Vaasudev Krishna stopped the time to sing 700 songs. I heard an advertisement on a Cricket ground . It was about the washing powder 555. As I went to drink water the jingle was being played. Last time around the memory of a journal was deleted: I wondered if it was the head of the trust or the boys who were preparing for exams. Then it kept happening. Today a scooty with press written on it came to pick a new kid who had stammering. He was new to academy. As I was approaching to him : he distinctly nodded thrice looking at me: it meant he was thinking that I was a member of academy like the coach. Well, it meant certain other things. I was feeding monkeys. Another guy used to do that. The head of the monastery saw it and a cow was entering the garden. The priest was present. I knew it: somehow I was being held accountable: what followed was family members approaching. Background check. They knew all the time that I was there. The whole story was woven to serve many purposes. Myths were busted. Or I had no grace. Never enough. Finds were: Prasanga Paarijaat. And Guru Nanak Dev’s biography by Jairam Mishra.

5. The people shouting seemed to suggest I had dropped something. I recalled that my pant had a pocket torn as I was walking in the stadium and kicked a ball. Earlier in the morning: no matter how hard I tried: the volume was repeatedly muted by certain agency as I sat on a bench doing WordPress.

6. The steel ring that dropped near the wickets meant something. It was too vague. The coach of academy was nonchalant about it. He had shown that his use of a Bundelkhandi tone might indicate two things: one: he was familiar with the lingo. Second: he was a localite. I don’t know the truth but the anxiety created for a moment by the guy on scooty was kind of useless in terms of expenditure of energy as it adds nothing to my learning.

7. With the music : all the demons were gone. But I don’t have unlimited supply. This stadium has openings and closings. It was not like this before. Now it is draconid institution like most others streamlined under central government. I hope to see a book where every event from every angle in every instant of my lives is written. I will be fond of that book. I was never born. Why do I have memories of being too young and unable. Why not of the time before that? Where did that family get me. Which lab I was made in? They are the questions which are only for the individuals. For gray regions. I know more than all the spiritual books I ever read combined together. It’s despite the lack of photographic memory. And yet…did I bring the wallet or did I not?

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

United Nations World Food Programme:Free Rice:Help Alleviate The Hunger in the World!

I just raised 34000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. The kid said no to class. Job offer no longer stands.

2. I read a bit in the library and catalogued books.

3. I had clear visuals today. In stadium, in academy where I reached by crossing the gate. I have told many people about the tally counters which can be worn on fingers. They should be available for sell in this city. In my vicinity.

4. A zeera seller asked me directions and I saw him thrice. A lady wearing glasses with a mole mark below her nose stopped by to take a call and she took two calls. She had couple of advertisers with her on a bike whose number added to 13.

5. I have to buy a bathing soap and eat a bada paav with chilli worth rupees 10. Do I own this smartphone? Or is it a legacy device? If I do: there shouldn’t be manipulation of things I can easily handle: like listening to music, counting, reading and writing. If I don’t : of what use is this device anyway? I will never be more than a puppet: barely writing anything. Barely reading anything. Forgetting addresses I already knew. Bowing to every passerby without working on my own. Immortality should be perfect liberation. Powers that stay at all times. Not the mind control.

6. I practiced body postures, alternate nostril breathing and forced exhalation. I took bath twice and went to take milk in the kitchen but seeing that two people were already present in the kitchen: I moved out listening to music. Why would my phone’s music be controlled by someone else?

7. God gift. Science?

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

The Day!

1. Logic comes to my rescue at times. Though it also hides the higher intelligence.

2. Counting, reading, writing, running, balancing, mindfulness, humility, modesty. They’re all treasures : until they’re not. If you master a skill you should also count the dependencies. Electricity, water, space, hygiene and availability of good food are basic constraints for those living in cities and towns.

3. Earnest salutations and business can’t go hand-in-hand in case of individuals. In case of macrocosm : anything and everything can happen. What did he mean when he said: I will play the game with balls for eons and eons: it meant something to him. No publication is allowed without a certain authorization. Whatever reached you was the best of the information available for you at that time.

4. Skill creates news. Rest is same. In love. In point zero. In sunn you sharpen the sword of knowledge for the journey ahead.

5. I received a training in impromptu speech today. The fundamental rests in noname files: I have been through it very many times. I would have mastered it if I was given a script to read. Then : there wouldn’t have been loss of accountability. Hence listeners and viewers. Shrauts and smarts. Kevin Spacey in the usual suspects. The jokes and teasing shouldn’t hurt. It’s not out of Truth but : infinite inexhaustible energy does appear to be limited in certain locks, books, constructions or ego structures.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

United Nations World Food Programme and routine!

I just raised 31000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. I played vocabulary quiz on aforementioned site.

2. I washed my clothes.

3. I had a nice meal. I only have a five rupees coin left in the purse. Incense sticks, soaps and other everyday needs require money. The student who was supposed to pay my fees yesterday might pay today. His mother was not present in the library. Instead I got another job offer to teach a young girl who needs elementary education.

4. When I reached library I was sleepy because I had done three rounds of jogging and about eight rounds of walking in the stadium. It was fun to watch them play football, cricket and other games. I might continue to jog everyday as it gives a better stamina than mere walking.

5. I reached academy late. They were packing up. V was deciding whether he wants to groom himself as a bowler or as a batsman. He again talked about the old phone. The F. K. kid is a chatterbox. He talks nonstop and doesn’t let anyone else talk. His tone indicates he is from UP.

6. The guy who helps the coach with nets and always reaches first to the field walks 12 kilometers everyday. The boy with him is also a dedicated guy.

7. I had a nice time watching movies after a long time. I don’t get time to watch movies because of my busy schedule. I saw an old friend yesterday. I saw couple of quantum entanglement events today. I need to work harder on my writing and game. I need a steady source of income. I opened an account on PayPal and Paytm but I have no bank account to link them with.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

Tohunitedonationsnowfall

I just raised 29000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. Bicycleonineutronusunbathelingastronomicalymphnodeaconnostocommiseratelierrodomontadealerogenousulcusuccubusteadashendangeredosasquatchenrezigguratbaggeryearlyricalculustrousomaticarusticoumissionimpossibleeryondermatistarrastafarianoiraspeignoirrialtabanidittoasteriskylemmingsnortympanumunchkinnardsnowfallambdamicableitmotiffinnishowbizootropiambicosineitherrabbistroutersevereservestickleroasterrorangutanagermanemonetwoeilladeaconomatopographytogenytimittomorrowlowolvorineonooboonincompooperandiasoderlingulchopinewoodenmarksmanshiphopiumlautarkiboshoeuvrenalacritzygotenetsukeeleewaywardocile

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

United Nations World Food Programme: Free Rice: Help Alleviate The Hunger!

I just raised 26000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. I made a few calls.

2. I heard some music by maestros.

3. I took milk, rice and pulses in lunch. I had poha for breakfast.

4. I walked to the Hanuman temple up the hill. It’s known as Hanuman Tauriya. It’s an ancient site in this city. It’s beautiful to look at the city from top of that hill. It was neptunian, foggy and dreamlike. I saw the priest, a security guard and a reader of Ramcharitmanasa in the temple premise.

5. There were four or five boys outside the temple. I again noted the bike number 4440 near Chhatrasal Carrefour. It’s the same bike number I saw couple of times before under the neem tree and on road to Brijpura.

6. The stadium had least number of people today. On my way I observed a damsel who was holding hand of a child. Behind her two boys: just before that spot a man had spit for some reason. A banana thela had three guys near it. As I changed I almost slipped for being engrossed into thoughts. I got a call from Devkunwar’s sister-in-law who said she had seen me near JK Cyber cafe. She wanted me to talk to her daughters who study in class ninth for English tuitions.

7. Academy had nobody. It was locked for it has been raining since last two days.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

Is it or is it not?

I was on a highway. I kept walking until I reached a tea stall. Then, there appeared certain herukas. I kept walking further until I reached the Twilight Zone. The bird I saw there was the bird I had seen in a Twilight Zone episode. Everything started to change at home. It was revealed that I was in bondage since a long time. I worked for my liberation and I needed to work for it on a regular basis. It meant : being able to walk in a stadium, watching the dancing light of Grace, seeing the game of the balls, playing it and being an immortal. The undying Grace I gained didn’t fetch me a sound proof room. In the darkest hours of my last night I heard that chirping of Crickets. I had heard it before. I had heard the sound of flute and I longed to hear it again. She was gone. I had seen her wearing dark glasses. I knew it that she was one of them: part of their Network. We wrote songs together: despite knowing that it was all a setup. I believed for a while until I could no longer believe. All dreams that I had seen since 2012 when the vision of light created a ceremony were shown to me repeatedly and they were not exactly the way I had seen them. One of the guides who appeared when my head was exploding remained with me as a friend for a long time. A reminder of my early days of school. I always had this difficulty to differentiate between realms until I went on long journeys and witnessed the miracles of dancing light of Grace. I saw those lights flashing on in the wilderness: just as the northern lights flash in the hall of gnosis. Just like Michael Talbert told in his book. I witnessed fractals and kabbalistic mysteries unveiled one after another in quick succession. It’s true: despite having gained the undying Grace: I needed to go on journeys to better grasping what I had studied. The network worked in strangely mysterious ways. All religions had merged into this dancing light of Grace. All merits that I had performed could not at times fetch me a glass of water.

I was always living among the adepts. I recognized it only in 2003. The fear of death was gone in 2009. But certain fears remained. I kept suffering because of them. I understood Yoga and sacrifice. Trees, birds, crows, Kingfishers, owls, dogs, people and guides : they all appeared together. Could I enjoy all the undying bliss available to me? It all seemed to have a prize tag. I was in a bigger market than ever before. Even in the most free of my discussions mother said : we were advertising some God or the other: some Creed or the other. Now Hollywood, then Bollywood. Now Vishnu, then Shiva. Now Buddhism, then Islam. Now Christianity, then true path as told by Vallalar. Pariah meant outcast. The Tamil puranam was a history of people who didn’t fit into communities. What would I have been known for then? I kept changing names and kept learning words until I saw how divine power merely changed guises but kept exercising itself in one way or the other. I wanted to live among adepts and adepts were waiting for me to mature. I certainly didn’t have this crushing workaday frame in my mind when I imagined pure realms of Buddhaverses. Perhaps they were impure dreams shown to me by a system which was not mature enough to interpret the way. I saw an old man who didn’t need me to salute him. He was carrying a staff and resembled Laotzu. The name I heard from Rishi and Osho. He was the most comfortable guy in that village. He belonged to none of the factions. I recalled the aery mansions and I saw the interrelated dimensions in which all the Karma was burnt in the awareness of knowledge. Do I have free will or do I not? If I am absolutely free, why would I create fetters for myself? Why would I create dirt, ignorance and matter and wrap myself with it? Why would I be bound to a name or date of birth or a certain way of living or clothing? Maybe I know all the answers. Maybe there are no questions. Maybe balance establishes itself. Maybe it doesn’t. Whether I know or not : I know it does. Maybe it doesn’t either. It is. It’s not.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

United Nations World Food Program: Free Rice!

I just raised 24000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. I went to stadium without an umbrella. It started to rain after I watched three boys play basketball.

2. At the pavilion: I observed some guys getting trained at various athletic exercises. I also observed a calm guy practicing meditation. I kept listening to divine melodies. My friends were playing cricket in the academy. They have cancelled the trip to Lavakushanagar. Vaibhav seems to have developed good bonding with the coach and the new entry from the Chetgiri Colony is an enthusiastic learner. The MVM boys who practiced catching the ball with me were disciplined in their approach.

3. I saw a student who took couple of English lessons from me when I used to go for long walks to Brijpura. I asked him why they stopped attending my classes and he replied: “girls in our batch had some problem.” The contract with the owner of the coaching didn’t mention any such problems. I tried my best to deliver and teach but he kind of disappeared from the scene : keeping the kids on the forefront. As on all previous occasions : whatever came through my mother, brothers or father or grandmother: always had duplicity or underhand tactics. Never stating clearly what was going on there. I was not there to take lessons but to teach and to earn a living. They made a joke of the contract and a joke of themselves as I had already written well in advance on this very blog. Good riddance.

4. I had a nice time in library reading some Vaishnava bhakti literature as I catalogued the books. Ankit: the oldest acquaintance in the Gandhi Bhavan greeted me from the “peeping tom” hole. I hastened to catalogue books and took no more than thirty minutes to get out. Two minutes extra.

5. It was rare to meet Dhaniraam outside the Poha shop near stadium. Prashant Khare and Vaibhav were present. They told that he never eats what is given to him and puts it on trees for birds. I didn’t know that about him. I gave him the samosa I was going to have and he also asked for a bit of Poha from the shop owner.

6. It was slightly difficult to walk as it was drizzling and slippers were slipping. I was also concerned about the safety of the smartphone.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

The Costliest Toy I Ever Had is a smartphone worth 13000. How many years would it take to repay the loans?

1. I clearly remember that night: on roof, I was wondering about the nature of reality in between: she was in a petticoat. The lady sent chills down my spine. Later I went to do the last rites with their family members. Today, as I was disposing off the garbage, I burnt an Aadhar number document along with an electricity bill. My brother was present when I was on roof. I had asked him to complete in between when he professed to be a Hindu. I also recalled couple of dreams and an identity card.

2. My father or the man who was exercising stern authority in this house : he was carrying a Jio 4G phone when my previous phone was dysfunctional. The dream had a strange connotation: an eye shown by the cook in this house. She was a dark magician. The phone had a strange but small effect. Three scorpions and then there was a strange sequence of events.

3. Third time around the hope came with the sibling luring me into believing that the parents who were harshest critics in the affairs of eating and sleeping and living were somehow willing to buy cellphones. I declared it to all neighborhood boys who were playing cricket. I seldom realize that they were playing with me all along. The dreams were in sequence given to purturb me. I was never let sleep properly by my brother and grandmother. The phone was merely a trigger to ensure that they not only refuse it to me repeatedly on pretext of salary reasons but also keep making me feel look down because another second hand device was given to me. I invested time and money into a bugged second hand phone which had a cracked screen.

4. After an year: when my brother has revealed that he’s indeed the slave of my parents and grandmother is a devil as well: my mother anandvalli of Vallalar’s most popular decad from Thiruvarutpa appears with a new phone worth 13000 rupees. Who paid for that? She said it was her husband. I knew it was fake. It means slavery. The court case of theirs had a strange argument: the lady said that these people keep their vegetables, store room, and kitchen always locked. When it was revealed to me that it was not merely my neighbours who were practicing kabbalah: it was the whole neighborhood for the whole time. It was a little too much to digest. They still keep the kitchen and Pooja rooms locked during night. The brother was scared of the dark and he’s still scared of the dark. If David Lynch’s Inland Empire and Christopher Nolan’s Inception hadn’t taught me that lucid dreaming had so many locks I would have continued to believe that I was fully enlightened sage like Buddha.

5. Who was it I was living with for so many eons? The movie Dark City gives a hint. Memories. But I really don’t understand when I got trapped into the memories of Sharda Prasad and my aunt on that takht. Sister and me, then other memories. How did I get forced to choose these identities as family.

6. They say that afterlife shows you all events. That you are given a good understanding of all events of previous life: I feel it is false. A lie. Rather group of many lies together. I died many deaths to be here. The experience has been astounding but I didn’t really feel any free will or choice. Only the same memes playing at the different levels .

7. Archons. Devotees. Atheists. Yogis. Materialists were at war with each other. Simulation hypothesis and politics of controlling mind. Take covid 19 for example: I think it is a religion which is advertised by people. Like Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Sikhism, Zoroastrian and Sufism. Why separate them from advertisement for material goods? I understand clearly why Christ might have shown rage against Jewish shops in those temples. I kind of re-lived that with an understanding that the ancient wild force can’t be subdued without awareness and surrender. Whatever was shown to me in terms of Science was too meager. Fulfilment of desire by the same agency which created it after a long time is not the fulfillment. Unless desire is fulfilled immediately: you are a powerless puppet in the hands of powerful people. What is the use of desire if it’s fulfilled after an Eon or two? It’s to build pyramids and tombs and towers by being cruel to animals and slaves. Emir Khusro says: kheer, charkha, dog and tabla. The verse he created in response to water being given by a lady on a well. Akin to Christ’s sermon. And a star is broken again. Tara. Lock is open now.