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To Call A Spade, A Spade!

1. I had a bath and a meal. I bought a red colored tennis ball worth fifty rupees ( ‘Bailey’ company )from Chetan Sports and Science gallery.

2. My student who couldn’t join me for the evening practice today had recommended to buy one costing twenty rupees but it was not available on that shop. I practiced with the synthetic ball for 40 iterations, then I decided to buy the tennis ball because otherwise the owner of the ball would have come collecting taxes. I counted sixty balls in total. Morning routine should have catching practice and evening routine should have bowling practice. As a general rule: if you don’t own a bat you shouldn’t aspire to bat. Most of the kids who join the academy pay thousand rupees entry fee, then they need to pay five hundred rupees per month, expenses for kit, bats and bowls are additional.

3. Needless to say: only elites play Cricket. Children of Mafia, Illuminati and land owners. If I am allowed anywhere near them it’s a privilege with much vigilance. The secret police is always inside stadium and around schools. The previous such unlock happened when it was assembly election. As soon as the election was over they again brought curfew like situation. This relaxation: freedom to roam around and play while I can only manage to drink half a kilogram of milk everyday for only next ten days with what I have: is because of the elections. People should feel that Madhya Pradesh government which came in power by buying candidates, and the greatest tyranny since Indira Gandhi as well as city goons are keeping well by only spitting once or twice gutka shakers unite.

4. Plastic got banned. Gutka got banned. Porn got banned. Ladies are safe until media pursues a suicide case. Pranav Pandya: the head of Gaytri Pariwar was facing charges of sexual assault and the case was on fast track. Now nobody knows what happened to the case. Now all of a sudden it’s a deluge of sexual assaults in news : as if all the rapists have been unleashed together.

5. To have yourself inspected : to be observed like I have been observed might have sounded like a real thing. All charges fall if I have a little of music. And it tells me how discordant and full of puss are those mouths : air coming out from which is no better than fart. Useless pathetic faces which have no other job but to encroach other’s property, violate their rights and to exercise unrighteous Dominion over others. People who use all devices merely to try mind control by depriving you of sleep, food and basic security. Such manipulation is from people who are already in hell of their collective making but think that they are in heavens. I kept wondering : the very people whom I try to educate and enlighten: the people very near to me who pretended to like me and even adore me were behaving like enemies : then it was all of them. I was absolutely infamous and for no reason but because I was being myself. I couldn’t have been anything else. This was my destination: to call a spade, a spade.

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Intifada

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Loss all around! Be happy!

1. All three of the boys who came from the underprivileged community, paid meager sum for labors, dropped today with about five hundred rupees still to be paid to me.

2. I couldn’t teach them even three complete lessons of the English Grammar with Holy Faith International reference book. They can neither write Hindi nor English. Besides: they created multifarious conflicts. Firstly: the student who joined first couldn’t learn words. Couldn’t continue to write in his notebook, the words which I taught him. Secondly: he let reluctantly join a boy from his neighborhood after him and what followed was a series of Shamanism events. Then: once he said: ” why are you turning away from women, have you kept roza(fast?)”

3. In red shirts, two of them didn’t recognize me near New colony. Before that the first one had disappeared after the Lolo drama by Vikram and company.

4. Were they merely playing the role in coherence movie simulation. As I asked him about the event later: he didn’t recall wearing such a shirt. The first one was most proud. He showed it the most the day when he was putting the tyre on the burnt coconut outside the door and refused to take the class. The second one wanted to practice but was consumed by something else or I misread him. The third one was brought by him but disappeared without paying fees when I was being killed by multiple hounds inside and outside house. Their joining and leaving my classes is made so comfortable because I don’t go back to ask questions. Like that neighborhood uncle who was promising a thirty thousand rupees batch with half of that for me and its code had some 100 rupees note. Rubbish as usual. Suckers attended the classes two three days without paying zilch for it. Feeding myself needs my merits and money but taking my energy and life force needs nothing: just come and show some teeth or false promises or start beating an autorickshaw driver with a swafi or was it Swati?

5. I bowled 40 times. Equivalent to 1000 steps of run. I walked a few rounds. This is all I am left with for Chandla uncle came sniffing my back here. He was wearing a cap.

6. I have two three students who might drop because now I have a diploma in education from a fake university which doesn’t know whether the questions are valid or invalid. What more do I need to say about the state of affairs?

7. My performance in vocabulary jam has been consistently top notch. This is the only contest where I feel comfortable.

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Look at my wealth and be jealous of it!

1. The milk packet slipped out of my hands. Twenty rupees wasted.

2. I went to ask about another mantra writing booklet: the neighbor was taking his lunch. His mom was reluctant but I needed only a minute. I could have asked on WhatsApp but I think I needed to talk face to face.

3. I bought a white ball: I have four precious gems from the Vallalar. Now I need to buy a tennis ball which would let me practice running. Balling practice is one of the best ways to do short running spells without losing your breath. It doesn’t work in a Cricket match but if you can ball with a run-up against a wall: you can practice for many hours and sweat the flab out.

4. Today the academy team brought turf on the stadium ground. They wanted to practice on a bigger ground. Sun was shining brightly as I kept walking towards my work.

5. The timings for the college guy are always inconstant. The prime reason is: he wakes up late. I need to exercise more discipline. Economic consultation leads no where. People who don’t earn at least above poverty line income shouldn’t aspire to have a bank account or permanent account. Ironically: government is built up on showing charitable deeds done to people like these. People like me who were exploited by their own relatives in a most subtle way for many decades are not subject to any government benefits. Despite being well qualified to teach the subjects in which we have expertise we need to prove some other kind of expertise for feeding ourselves. To walk on a road, to have breakfast, to play in a ground, to work in a office, to watch movies, to enjoy yourself: you need six to seven different types of referral codes. It’s not enough to be a human being. It’s not enough to be yourself. I was the first one to get Aadhar linked to sim cards and all it did was to give them the right to spy. It doesn’t matter how much money is spent on espionage and weapons: the fees paid by students is always four hundred rupees. And it’s because they are also barely supporting themselves. Most of the tuitions I taught barely fetch enough to feed myself. This all when I was given a free pass by people around me to live as I pleased. Ghouls in the guise of human beings who lie through teeth. Who repeatedly sacrificed me. I was not allowed to leave. All students that came in the last few years wanted to dominate me. As if they knew better. Most of them could scarcely read or write but instead of relying on the basics they were hell bent on doing something else. The only school I took classes on could not pay me because it had strange condition of paying only via cheque. Here: day after day: the same things cost more. The samose on Gopal samosa agency besides court cost seven rupees per pair.

6. Generosity is considered to be foolishness. Rotten codes are repeated ad nauseum. Such is the law and Dharma. The time when I had work and income which was in the middle class : I longed for the carefree life like this because to be constantly worried about possessions is to not sleep soundly. Now: I think somehow magically I would learn materialization. I would not need to work hard to gain money. Even a smallest coin keeps your consciousness engaged. Those who possess vast amounts of wealth can’t really live carefree.

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A Decent Meal Needs A Huge Vocabulary!

1. I had a decent meal. I needed to wash clothes and utensils but I feel like not doing it because, first: I don’t have detergent. Second: to cleanse utensils means subjecting myself to voices which I might not like after having achieved this rare mind isolation. All miracles happen when you’re hungry, thirsty, scared and susceptible.

2. The peace. I called her to open the door. I had a nice time in evening at stadium. I played vocabulary jam on vocabulary.com and free rice quiz. I walked and ran a bit. Though sometimes it seems cumbersome to carry all this gear to the playground: I do remind myself that I have walked gearless, sat naked, walked naked and fearless and laughed at myself, zucchini, at the world at large. I have not known any mind isolation spoken of in Buddhist scriptures except through using earphones to suppress surrounding sounds. If listening to the inner sounds does result in achievements: I still fall short of achieving a sound proof hall of gnosis where I may sit indefinitely without life force getting sucked out of this body. A place where I am not purturbed by any sounds for as long as I want to. A place where I need not pay anything to stay comfortably for eons and eons. Since I am demanding it from the logos: it’s not from Jeevanmukta status. It’s from the adept status who has seen time loops and transcendence. Who has witnessed dance of death. I am demanding it because it has neither been fulfilled nor is it going to get fulfilled, rendering null all the tall claims made by all who came in that tradition. Since I have seen time and great time: the argument that it will take time is invalid.

3. Surangama sutra is invalid.

4. Yadgatva na nivartante tad dhaam parmam mam is invalid because the great time overpowers the Vaasudev in every scheme.

5. Liberation and bondage are both imaginary yet I wait for a transcendence where I am completely free from their ideas.

6. Lucid dreaming with such a huge amount of structures and work is neither lucid nor dreaming.

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Ogham!

1. I played a five overs match on “Real Cricket.” There was a call from Sagar Aggrawal specifying why PAN card couldn’t be made despite three months of wait. I had one made in 2008 in Bhopal via agents. It was easier than as I had a sponsor and some prospects. This time around I applied for making reparations once I had some money to spare. Now I realize : it will be a long time before I have enough money to open a bank account to be able to do online transactions. Perhaps they are new to the business. I made eight visits to a private office where I had specified my requirements in the very first meeting:

2. I lost my PAN card six years ago when I had given it to my younger sibling because I was wearing a lungi. He said he had dropped it. Now I need new card. If someone uses it: penalty should be imposed on those. If ethical responsibility is to be called: it’s the sibling’s responsibility.

3. If I had a few thousands rupees : I would have got the application processed within a day or a week. Since I have had no income in the last eight years and barely supported my sustenance: there arises no question of filing for income tax returns.

4. Office office and Musaddi Laal. It was a private office and I thought they were swift in the service. They only kept changing the terms of assurance. Clearly because: I had no resources. This is what happens to common man. I am not saying that it would have been different if I would have gone to another agent. I will wait for more income and then try opening a bank account. Then PAN card and other cards. This is the best I have played Cricket.

5. They couldn’t produce what they said they would. They had lack of experience in this domain.

6. I had to write more in the notebook of my student. She can barely write or read English because she belongs to an underprivileged community. She has had no formal education in English subject in the last seven plus years of education. I wrote her introduction questions in cursive handwriting: the result: she asked me to write again in block letters. Foster kids pre school or play school. I asked those kids: if none of the kids had mothers and fathers? They had no clue about my talk.

7. On the days i feed myself well the demons start burning. As a rule: if you feel good, someone has to feel bad.

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United Nations World Food Programme Free Rice Help Alleviate The Hunger in the World!

I just raised 48000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. I sweeped the room which was pending since long. I cleaned the handkerchief. I am practicing forced exhalation. At once I used to do it ten thousand times everyday. I need to get back into shape. The match I played today: I couldn’t score enough runs for my team.

2. Today, one of my students went to stadium with me. He can do six pull ups whereas I can only do about three. He still owes me twenty rupees which would be paid tomorrow when our books get clear and we begin a fresh month of learning English Grammar and Vocabulary for which I would be paid by the third of November. I need to be frugal to survive. There are many things which need to be bought but I barely have the budget to feed myself bread and milk everyday. I wonder how many people have even less than me.

3. I could rest well in the last few days. Binaural beats played a role in it. I fed myself well to get balance back. Gandhi’s last meal was richer than my average meals. This is a reflection on how minimalism is not for people living below poverty line. It’s for people who are well known or have millions in bank account as well as passports for every country in the world. I barely move around the city practicing minimalism in the last eight years. I was held captive since last thirty five years. And what freedom do I find after waking up?

4. Many magic shows and circus shows. Now I know how complex karmic webs are woven by authors. I am not bored because it’s an infinite adventure. A never-ending journey. An everlasting class. The bad news is: all help, magic and miracles are available when you’re delirious, feverish, have barely anything to eat or feed yourself. When you walk too long or run too long. When you beg or bend too low before others repeatedly for the same things they also need.

5. It was a pleasant Sunday. I have a smartphone which was gained when I had lost desire for it. With a delay of ten months. Revealing all karmic webs : individual, family, friends, neighborhood, architecture, municipal, logoi etc. I saw laotzu. One of my students needed it as well. Now all three of them have. The new batch has students who are too young to use a smartphone. I need to postpone all my requirements until I get my money back. Then I may buy some clothes, tennis balls, data recharge and other essential things.

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A void!

1. I watched a few videos.

2. I had a bath and food was delicious.

3. An old student is back. He paid the dues. He’s the finest among those being tutored at present. He wanted us to also cover GK whereas I insisted on sticking to Grammar and Vocabulary. My experience this year has been to continue focussing on a domain which lasts after the apocalypses. You need food before going to sleep as well as after waking up, in one form or another.

4. Despite an year of hard work the scenario as well as lack of portfolio hasn’t let me get enough number of students to teach to support my living on my own. Debt is a dirty business. Cyclic interest on fundamentally free resources means no one is ever truly free from it. Only people who appear free are either newborns or those who have mastered the art of pretension. Those who have long been at the poisonous game of winning either by hook or by crook. The wee bit of solace that I found after forgetting my past is constantly threatened by my lack of sound financial disposition. Six years ago my PAN card was dropped. I tried this time around and the agent lied through his teeth. The result: I am going to get back the two fifty rupees which might feed me couple of days. Similar incident happened in the year 2018 because the library in the town hall was a monopoly of assistant of librarian and it had too strict laws. It was difficult to get the caution money back and it was difficult to get sustenance for a few days.

5. I met greatest number of people who had some connections to my remote past, in the last few months. It’s after the year 2014 AD. I gained great amount of experience. The concrete proof about variation in heights of people is something I have carried between lifetimes with experiments. Now I look at human resources as “Aatma Pariyojna.” It means everyone working in this office is well versed with fundamentals of The Tibetan Book of the Dead by Padmasambhava and Garuna Purana. Those are the minimum requirements. Shukadev Paramhamsa clearly reveals to King Pareekshita: “you are yourself death of all deaths. What we call death is mere falling away of shape. In the continuum of life, body discards the forms like clothes. The limit of revelation in Hinduism( Geeta and Bhagvata): the simile is suggestive of a Lord or group of Lords. Instead of telling that you carry your entire environment with you : the words merely attach you to ectomorphic image and it gets you into egoic grip of death and convulsions which are akin to high fever, shock of 880 volts or being chased by countless hounds and goons. Buddhism is important in revealing this. And yet: if you don’t know basics you would try to control the dream with same tools : creating realms which are frought with danger. Though Vaasudev Krishna says in Uddhava Geeta: Vidya and Avidya are both founded upon my illusory potency Matrix : and as per another dictum: those who indulge into dark practices fall into pits but into greater pits fall those who practice bright Vidya. The momentum might be positive or negative: it creates veils. You might be in gold or iron chains : it’s still a dream. Dream model: when you’re no longer dreaming. Journey, School, War, Game. Game includes resurrection and healing. School teaches you everything. To learn you need to work . Work might look like comfort or struggle depending upon the requirements.

6. I might have been a slave for uncountable number of years if sanmaargam or true path towards total liberation is a lie. All prophets, devotees and liberated beings never existed in that case.

7. My database has been updated. My bucket list: seeing exact clones. Interacting with me without environmental interruptions. Seeing gods and goddesses with four or more hands and legs. Earning enough merits for a totally sound proof room where I may dwell indefinitely. Time travel at will at all times and being able to record data. Complete freedom from hunger, thirst, fear or shame.

8. What was it: a void.

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Cricket: Trouble in the Paradise!

I just raised 41000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. I had some rest.

2. I got a new job offer. I reached slightly earlier. Took the class. While going to library after the class I was stopped by a biker for directions to a nearby temple. I thought I had given it as he saluted a pundit hence I started walking. The guy came again: I told him that entrance was just besides the transformer. Strange: I heard my demons saying: “show your license;” whereas no license was needed to walk on a ground I was familiar with. The posters were put on the twenty second and they were taken away after nine days.

3. A magic trick: I do remember when the pocket of this pant was torn: it was, after I had hit a football. I saw a policeman with a gesture of two besides the neem tree. I had stopped to drink some water. I was hungry and thirsty and I had no money. I recalled hilarious comical movie Peepli Live as it’s birthday of Lal Bahadur Shastri and Mahatama Gandhi tomorrow. As soon as I saw him: the tally counter which I had put in the left pocket: which was intact: seemed to be torn too: how else in the broad daylight: it was possible to get the counter cross from solid to liquid side? That’s the place I had seen a treasure too. A chest. I kept walking and took a turn to see that same fear was waiting for me in case of another optical illusion. It’s the very nature of optical illusions that occurred when I first reached to the academy ground. Upon closely observing there was no trace of magicians. Now you see me: three.

4. Hemlata: when it happened at first: I witnessed a young girl playing with a lizard fearlessly. Then the clan: man came to buy mango once. I recalled mega society’s journal Noesis: the emphasis was on amount of effort put into solving the tests designed by Ronald K. Hoefflin. Rick Rosner and Terrence Tao. Axe: a deodorant. Jason Axe: Friday the 13th series which was the dimension of chaos. She had requested me to teach her daughter. Then she asked me to wait until secretary was back. She was back and she greeted me from afar as I was moving towards the key hanger. She asked if I had been paid: my response was delayed: I recalled: I was paid once I mentioned my requirements to my students and focussed on teaching English Grammar and Vocabulary instead of teaching them all at once.

5. Red ladyfinger. Green ladyfinger. Aubergine. Green roots. I did see the youngest in the lot inside the Cricket Academy suggesting the association of the root with the animal dog which indicated loyalty. It was strange as far as logic was concerned: Jay was not too vocal yet he said something of significance. So did the disciplined MVM kid. They knew all the constellation signs. Hence Rohini : an archetype representative of Mrigshira or Taurus in general was recalled to resemble the face of four of them I knew one time or the other. Then I saw another resemblance: Maya or matrix was her name. A bike had ‘honey’ written behind it and I immediately recalled traps leading me towards inevitable surrender to this dimension where I lost my money and merits to an extent about eight years ago. I had played Cricket: it was obvious to revive my learning via this game played with balls. Yet: I was reluctant to run. Yesterday: the true meaning of ‘run’ was revealed. It meant: to run. To move with speed.

6. I had also been to Shealing Public School. Couple of kids came to work in the academy today. It looked fabulous to watch them all practice. It was an orchestra par excellent. I kept counting the number of balls thrown : it was about 210 balls in total. Shealing means: a shelter or refuge. A closely spaced group of huts for fishermen.

7. The students were optimal. My attention changes the quality of class. The problem is: sometimes I have too rich information to provide whereas they need me to slow down to basics. You might think teaching English or Vocabulary is easy. It’s not. It takes rigorous practice. It takes: counting, business, management, contacts and psychology along with discipline to be able to teach a class. And it takes a long time before you are paid with a decent salary. Dependencies tend to make you feel exploited. I think: uncertainty of life and nightmares like I had yesterday indicate: I was wrong about money most of my life. Having it makes you feel temporarily secure whereas in its absence you need to give up even the smallest of recreations, learning and development. No matter how good you think you are at them. I tried hard to inculcate minimalism among my neighbors and family of origin but I was not only met with immense resistance but also with magic. I had seen very few people practice minimalism as I did with as civility and I met immense resistance. It was becoming a Tokyo rapidly. Vegetable sellers. The nightmare had me watch my own body as darkness was eating my heart up: I wanted to see it suffering and to remove the root cause. Two of them: the haunting hounds who were using crooked means since long time were revealed to be behind most of the events. It said: “you needn’t become PM. Why are you doing this?” I was called home when wax in my ears was melting. And then the fall happened. If I had continued on my own : I would have been free and wealthy. It was the main reason.

8. I recalled: before those two who claimed to be friendly. Who came after five years in another setting : there were two who met me as I went to take admission into that academy with domes. The premise was spacious and it housed many pigeons as well as honeycombs. Little did I know that there was a conglomeration of adepts who were playing with me. Steven Greer’s documentary was out in the open. I hadn’t studied APJ Abdul Kalam’s book ‘Wings of Fire.’ in fact I disparaged him when I first heard about him. And this year turned about the vision. Twenty by twenty. It was the longest year. Most magical. Most fantastic. With Vallalar being the only accountable source of information on immortality. On reversal of aging. On vast effulgence of Grace. On Greek connection to Natarajan. On a game played with ball of nature of Sun which goes around the world. Planet Cricket. Multiverse. Height. Gravity. Time. Distance. Speed. Charge. Practice was hard to come by. I can’t say it’s what was promised. I am still looking for a space where no noises perturb for indefinite amount of time. That’s the only reward I was longing for since last fifteen years. My paradise was always troubled.