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Word!

1. I had half a litre of milk, one ten rupees bread packet, a bowl full of rice and daal in lunch. I had two rotis and a glass of milk in the morning after breathing exercises and a plate of poha before I entered inside the stadium. I could throw only three overs. A boy who had a bag on his back asked if I could give him the ball. I would have been left with nothing to play. Bob Dylan’s Tambourine Man plays on Spotify playlist. Another madman was projecting Murari Baapu while Narayan Sukta was playing: I was stopped by an old woman who wanted to confirm if she had approached the Chhatrasal’s Horse. She used these words in Bundelkhandi:

” Has Chhatrasal’s Horse arrived?”

“Keep walking straight,” I answered.

“But is it nearby?”

“Yes,” I said.

2. I read couple of stories by Rumi in library. They were translated by one Shandilya. I made a note.

Moses rebuked one devotee.

The unseen or alakh or adrishta told him on radio: “they’re the strange ones. I didn’t create this world to get service from them but to make them feel my power and debt. Let them speak as they please.”

Moses came out of the bushes and told the stranger whose clothes he had already burnt with his fire:” you can say as you please. “

3. The meeting with Shams e Tabriz: different accounts highlight Rumi’s master having command over either fire or water. The moment Rumi said to Tabrizi: ” This is the type of thing you know nothing about,” the books either caught fire or were dropped in the lake. They were recreated in one account and not recreated in another. The account I read today says that Rumi’s master was killed by his relatives because they suspected that he had done some magic which had made Rumi give up his old routine.

4. The Mongoose was spotted the moment I locked the library, hanged the key and began to walk. I kept observing it until it didn’t go away.

5. An army ‘water’ tank was parked outside the Post Office. It had “Factory Jabalpur” written on it. I had to make my students speak “Kaarkhana” and “Factory” multiple times. Despite being in the seventh standard she doesn’t know the meaning of either factory or Kaarkhana. I have to earn my bread but I am often concerned about how weak most of my students are when it comes to read and write. It seems as if they’re atleast two three standards behind. Her vocabulary is not enough to understand even fifth class Hindi books. I do what I can.

6. I had to sit on bench made by Jai Industries which is parked outside to the stadium: I took a nap listening to music. Most of the festivals are show off by communities who have hoarded money for long. People like us are accussed of stealing this or that: books, articles, trophy wives and so on: real hoardes remain behind the scene and the game continues. It’s a routine day for us. Even Sundays are workdays for us. For us there are no bank accounts, no subsidy, no free lunch, food or water, no welfare or community. Who are we and where did we come from and why?

7. I need some sleep before the next class. I am happy to have found a door opening in the Blogger’s World. Sometimes I wonder if Kristina Van Hoose was actually Pam Kirst herself: then you know: what happened? And if it was that Kristina of Automattic: it was a bigger conspiracy. Most forced and mean was entry of Visakha, Piyusha and Visakha’s stalker(where’s Nadine?): What did I really have to do with all that? Anyway: those who know : know that it was the most selfless hardwork I had ever done. Automattic didn’t say that the forum couldn’t be made into a chatting forum. Now : if it’s more active than it has been in the last four years: it gives me happiness. Pam. Oneta. Collate. Kristina. Nadine. Shine. Free spirit. Rashmi. Piyusha. Meg. Jose. And others who came together to create a space(like iambic pentameter poet who inspired thirteen words story,) for wandering souls. Growing up shouldn’t be boring or should it be optional. Passion meets creativity and becomes compassion. Emailing shouldn’t be an option either since we have telepathy. I began writing this note when it was thirteen five PM. I rest my case here. Happiness for all!

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A Nice Evening!

1. A sandwich on shop.

2. Decorations only remind me of: how poor I am. They do look lavish. I asked myself why: the answer was: I was born among very poor people and it hasn’t changed since eons. Why this clan had no merits is akin to asking: why I didn’t have merits. Original sin: fall from Grace. Sikhism, despite being a religion born in India is similar to Islam, Christianity, Judaism : it follows the book. Islam is similar to Shaiva Siddhanta. Nayanmars were a group of messengers with Vallalar being final. Prophet Muhammad was final as per Islam. Hinduism and Buddhism say that countless messengers keep coming and they can have any name and station.

3. A conversation on aging, immortality and reality with Piyush after I had finished ninety balls. That’s fifteen overs. I couldn’t rest in the noon as I needed to scribble ideas for blog. Things are now almost as good as they were in the year two thousand and eight when I was waiting for job. Minus bronchitis. Minus illusions about family, friends, birth, death, aging, medicines etc. The word San which is used in Hindi for the year following Christ : means “penance” or “passion.” When will penance cease? When will Yaldabaoth disappear. I did see Chelpa birds. Somebody bursted a cracker which scared birds : after that a few boys came who were eating gutka: they rudely kept bowling for a while : they had nothing to share but energy did rich crown.

4. Vocabulary quiz: 52233. Not even once as a lead. No wonder. Decipher means code which cracks puzzle. Cipher is zilch. Void. To avoid the void you need to create meaning. Meaningful solving of puzzles takes you out of the fourth dimension. Same as scaling. Then you become a bigger black hole. Then you need more meaning. This is the folding and unfolding in which chit increases and hence the bliss increases proportionately.

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Six Jams!

1. 351531: six jams on vocab.com.

2. The first couple of jams were hacked. As soon as total number of participants reaches near hundred servers tend to crash. Might be lack of data and premature conclusion.

3. Reasoning type question: only one.

4. Fill in the blanks are most difficult because they need reading of entire questions, then choosing options and clicking, all within the ten seconds time.

5. Easiest are synonymous and definition type questions especially in the quizzes where word roots based questions are asked as they depend only on long term memory and solving them doesn’t even need reading entire questions.

6. I played enough of WFP Free Rice to compensate for yesterday.

Samaya: The Great Time

7. I washed enough number of utensils to compensate for yesterday.

8. I bowled only ninety two balls because it took time to enter inside stadium. Some biker shouted: “stadium has been closed.” I jumped over the door with a group of kids who said it was akin to an army drill for them. I have jumped over three doors so far: three more remaining.

9. Three hundred rupees by Shailendra: they were received after talking to about eight people : after making at least seven phone calls: after going to a stranger’s house thrice. After convincing them that I was in the dire need.

10 An objection remains: Shailendra didn’t talk. After receiving the money: Aakash said: since he quit your coaching five days before the monthly session was completed: he deserves to pay only for twenty five days. The way events happened from my viewpoint make it clear: they were not upto English Vocabulary and Grammar alone. They were supposed to learn all subjects. The manner in which Shailendra disappeared was not honorable or compensation for my services. In case of most of them I was being sacrificed and if I didn’t appear on a day or two: they didn’t actually fulfill their part by keeping notebook on vocabulary. They didn’t learn words. If you want to learn English or other subjects for a month: you need to attend classes for a month. Better pay in advance so that your teacher has enough life force to teach you : instead of mocking him or her not being upto your ethical or any other standards. If Shailendra still feels I did him wrong: I am willing to teach him for five days without charging anything. I will give him water of life to drink and I will give him words to memorize and their association. Only Shailendra not other smartypants.

11. Now that I have money to support myself for next nine days at max: I need to get another hundred rupees from Suyash : which he might be able to pay by the eighteenth as promised. Rest of the payments will be made by the first of November by the students of new batch. It will be clear by twentieth if the new batch is going to start or not. In any case: I still am living below poverty line for some strange reason. The barber has got a ration card. I have no subsidy. No quota. No protection. I have poisonous people around me who want to suck life force out of me because they can’t control me for long.

12. I went to academy. Somehow Jai called me after a while to help him practice. He doesn’t know that I narrated an event about him. If you remove the possibility of some kind of conspiracy: only two possible reasons exist: first: I was familiar and free: he felt comfortable with me. That removes my understanding of his being in a league which is beyond my access: off course I cannot afford a kit for next two years at the rate I am earning money. The second: his gift or being Indigo: that remains the only possible explanation : his tanned face and the manner he played were enough to tell me that he had been working hard like his coach and if they had perfection like mine: they would have first removed the Sun and then started to practice. Which ensures either an award in method acting for the whole group or my delusions being removed. In any case: I couldn’t have done anything else. The treatment in the dressing room. The Swati versus Saafi: then some young boys asking why I chose stadium over academy. The only pattern has been : my resolutions being broken by some parties or other. For balance or imbalance: however you might like to interpret it: To Vallalar.

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October the thirteenth!

1. I bowled 130 times in total during the day. Different balls were bowled at different speeds and the slog overs were bowled very slowly for it was getting darker and I needed the ball to be with me to continue the practice. It seemed I had lost it about two times. If the student who comes at three thirty in the afternoon was willing to come half an hour earlier: I would have reached on ground in time for completing my everyday goal before it was dark. I needed sleep to let muscles heal and I got it. It’s more than twenty overs of bowling : I should be content with it but the food and environment are beyond my control: to be able to continue any sports activities: you need constant energy. Flux is the law : if I can continue to practice for a few days : I consider myself fortunate.

2. Moderation is not just good for me: it’s a constraint. On Spotify as I keep listening to music: the advertisers use rhetorics and exhort in very convincing voices about upgrading the music. If it was really possible: I would have opted for the best quality without delay. But the ground reality is: I received this smartphone after about ten months’ delay: after confirmation that I was indeed living with goblins and it was systematic “Wicker Men” movie since a long long time. To recharge the internet services I have to toil hard at work. And to remain worried about my next meals. Thus: music industry which does help me focus on things which matter: comes via channels which are run by advertisement agencies. Premium is the word they keep chanting while I barely have money to keep my life support on. What did humanity come to and when?

3. I played five jams on vocabulary.com. There were forty participants per game on an average. I scored points enough to be within top three in the best of five. Easy enough to do. Visual questions need a bandwidth which can’t be reached with current internet speed. Internet is free for educational purposes in many countries and this country only has dark web and dark net to sacrifice foster kids. Lowest quality of technology is given to genuine researchers and best of it to military and political propaganda. Why preach nonviolence and harmony if it’s always an all out war? If you don’t keep walking: you can’t even stand up. The reality of fasting: which is preached in Hinduism and by Gandhi and others: if you truly practice it in an environment like I live in and continue to do it regularly: countless hounds come nibbling at your soul. They eat your life force by every movement of theirs. For decades upon decades breathing and music were my only rescue: I was always a pariah no matter where I lived. The moment I trusted I was preparing a ground for being cheated. This is the only reality I know at individual level.

4. I am engaged in more number of activities than I thought. If I keep track of all of them they seem superhumane compared to my previous lifestyle and it has no support if I ever need rest because I was feeding goblins all my life. If I had refused to come back to this place: perhaps I might have met goblins in different garbs but the totality is too much for anyone to take: especially when the night is very dark. Hence: the music, literature, recreation, sports and diversions. If you are told: what is called death is going to happen countless number of times and the cycles of fear, desire, aversion and attachment come no matter what you do: you might not believe it because you have been shown great dreams. Better to wake up than to continue dreaming fantastic dreams. It’s all a matrix. Friends, family, society, community, religion, business and other things. Only when I have gone totally beyond the energy constraints and limitations: I was would let you know about the journey. Right now: I really don’t know where I am and how I reached here. It is a dream which sometimes becomes a nightmare. And when it does: time stops. You can’t sleep. You can’t rest. It’s what Buddhism calls the ‘pitch darkness’ : neither gods nor mantras help in that space. Jolts of electrical current and accumulated pain haunts you. Though imaginary: the hell is as real as heaven is. Gray aliens attack you collectively in the final hours of spasm when you have convulsions: there’s no rescue then. If I am here to report about that space there certainly exist worse states of existence and if they are unavoidable for every being: there is absolutely no point in exalting heavens or enlightenment. Because: total enlightenment means knowing each and everything. On the other hand: if the darkness is merely a shadow: an ignorance : it should appear like a passing show. Not like a Jacob’s ladder or convulsions in an eternal nightmare.

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October the thirteenth!

1. I bowled 130 times in total during the day. Different balls were bowled at different speeds and the slog overs were bowled very slowly for it was getting darker and I needed the ball to be with me to continue the practice. It seemed I had lost it about two times. If the student who comes at three thirty in the afternoon was willing to come half an hour earlier: I would have reached on ground in time for completing my everyday goal before it was dark. I needed sleep to let muscles heal and I got it. It’s more than twenty overs of bowling : I should be content with it but the food and environment are beyond my control: to be able to continue any sports activities: you need constant energy. Flux is the law : if I can continue to practice for a few days : I consider myself fortunate.

2. Moderation is not just good for me: it’s a constraint. On Spotify as I keep listening to music: the advertisers use rhetorics and exhort in very convincing voices about upgrading the music. If it was really possible: I would have opted for the best quality without delay. But the ground reality is: I received this smartphone after about ten months’ delay: after confirmation that I was indeed living with goblins and it was systematic “Wicker Men” movie since a long long time. To recharge the internet services I have to toil hard at work. And to remain worried about my next meals. Thus: music industry which does help me focus on things which matter: comes via channels which are run by advertisement agencies. Premium is the word they keep chanting while I barely have money to keep my life support on. What did humanity come to and when?

3. I played five jams on vocabulary.com. There were forty participants per game on an average. I scored points enough to be within top three in the best of five. Easy enough to do. Visual questions need a bandwidth which can’t be reached with current internet speed. Internet is free for educational purposes in many countries and this country only has dark web and dark net to sacrifice foster kids. Lowest quality of technology is given to genuine researchers and best of it to military and political propaganda. Why preach nonviolence and harmony if it’s always an all out war? If you don’t keep walking: you can’t even stand up. The reality of fasting: which is preached in Hinduism and by Gandhi and others: if you truly practice it in an environment like I live in and continue to do it regularly: countless hounds come nibbling at your soul. They eat your life force by every movement of theirs. For decades upon decades breathing and music were my only rescue: I was always a pariah no matter where I lived. The moment I trusted I was preparing a ground for being cheated. This is the only reality I know at individual level.

4. I am engaged in more number of activities than I thought. If I keep track of all of them they seem superhumane compared to my previous lifestyle and it has no support if I ever need rest because I was feeding goblins all my life. If I had refused to come back to this place: perhaps I might have met goblins in different garbs but the totality is too much for anyone to take: especially when the night is very dark. Hence: the music, literature, recreation, sports and diversions. If you are told: what is called death is going to happen countless number of times and the cycles of fear, desire, aversion and attachment come no matter what you do: you might not believe it because you have been shown great dreams. Better to wake up than to continue dreaming fantastic dreams. It’s all a matrix. Friends, family, society, community, religion, business and other things. Only when I have gone totally beyond the energy constraints and limitations: I was in, i would let you know about the journey. Right now: I really don’t know where I am and how I reached here. It is a dream which sometimes becomes a nightmare. And when it does: time stops. You can’t sleep. You can’t rest. It’s what Buddhism calls the ‘pitch darkness’ : neither gods nor mantras help in that space. Jolts of electrical current and accumulated pain haunts you. Though imaginary: the hell is as real as heaven is. Gray aliens attack you collectively in the final hours of spasm when you have convulsions: there’s no rescue then. If I am here to report about that space there certainly exist worse states of existence and if they are unavoidable for every being: there is absolutely no point in exalting heavens or enlightenment. Because: total enlightenment means knowing each and everything. On the other hand: if the darkness is merely a shadow: an ignorance : it should appear like a passing show. Not like a Jacob’s ladder or convulsions in an eternal nightmare.

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Adventures Early Morning!

1. It’s as hot as a Summer day. I had a plate of poha after couple of samosas. The guy who had narrated the background story about Dhaniram was serving Poha today. He used to have a juice shop in Summers of two thousand and eighteen.

2. The juice shop was besides the Aggrawal Travel Agency. His sniding remark was about “father shooting with license and the son without licence: ” that, along with his younger sibling digesting my ten rupees while I ordered a second glass of mango juice as a damsel appeared: remains as a bitter memory. The parting remark by another customer was related to Kaalratri where I first made it to Pradeep Khare and later narrated it to my sibling and others. What kind of execution goes into making this possible?

3. A lot indeed. Unless you read the last post about Dhaniram : you won’t see the link. The credit is obviously to the juice seller. Yet: his bitter remarks stand out with ‘panu atthe chaalees’ tutor who had it a custom to beat his students by pressing a sand particle in their ears. Used a gents bicycle. Used to wear the ear ring. Worst tutor. Only second in rank to Manoj Chaturvedi. These people are possessed by goblins.

4. My history with the juice seller turned poha seller isn’t more than that. That I chose to go to poha shop instead of the vada shop as I had decided(because it was crowded): that I saw and recognised him instead of the usual scissor wielder: that he started talking along the thread : is man made machination. This is infamy or popularity. Sow what you reap.

5. I had to jump over the stadium door on the Eastern side. It was a cake walk as far as action is concerned but waiting for boys to clear out before they made at least one or two remarks meant letting my imagination remind me of agoraphobia and acrophobia both in a short span of time. I think it’s enough of adventure for a morning : given that it’s not a cold weather yet. The first day on roof doing breathing and secretary of the institution where I am writing this note doesn’t miss to ask about the construction work.

6. Come to think of it Enola Holmes might be the biggest movie I have seen this year. I could watch only for ninety six minutes. It’s clearly about the women empowerment. Going into background of heroes and completely disregarding them happens when genres have become hackneyed. Women empowerment in a matriarchal country. Who are we kidding with? Gender bender is the greatest of deceptions.

7. I bowled 30 times yet it was plenty of perspiration. Still dehydrated.

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Netflix

1. Ghanshyam Das Birla was concerned about the money being wasted on capturing his images. Photographic plates were costly in those days. He was accompanying Gandhi on his trip to London. It doesn’t happen in Europe. Only in India: patrons of saints considered themselves fortunate. Da Vinci died on lap of king of France but he never had any peace of mind. Effectively : Gandhi also had no stretched peace of mind. Who am I to judge his mind? The point is: all technology is the scientific sheath: Matrix and magic shows. If souls are countless Sparks of fire from my being and if there’s infinite inexhaustible energy: why worry about minimalism? Certainly premise is solid but temporarily you always find: picture is imperfect: it can be improved. More the merrier. Even the one who sleeps on footpath has better availability of technology, books and like than many kings of past centuries or so has been fed into our minds. Iron Man Tetsuo: we are breathing in technology. Electricity. Smoke.

2. The book of cartoons on Gandhi: extract from which was published in the previous post is an amusing study of how international media looked at Gandhi. A picture is worth thousand words: therefore that book by Navjeevan Trust Publishing is worth thousands of books. I finished reading it in a single short sitting : yet, multiple sittings might reveal deeper information. Only animals which have been used in depictions: humans, lions, goats, monkeys. Britishers were only influenced by the mass appeal Gandhi had. It was number game then. It’s number game now. Churning of oceans, churning of minds, generation of ambrosia and poisons. Gods direct the show, build the platforms and execute it: they keep the nectar and the venom is given to demons who know nothing better. This is an eternal game played by angels and demons in the royal court of God-head. The serpent is torn and it has to eat its tail. It can’t continue to eat it forever: so it leaves it and some of its offsprings escape who also do the same business.

3. While the Chandragupta Maury’s guru Chanakya had a name Vishnugupta and he kept a tuft: his name Kautilya means “one who is crooked.” His treatise is akin to China’s military general’s treatise : “The Art of War.” I was teaching Madhya Pradesh Board’s Hindi Special to a seventh standard student: the chapter fifth tells you about the ancient Ujjayini: it was ruled by Chandragupta Vikram. How come: Vikramaditya has been named as Chandragupta ? It’s a mystery. I often think that rulers like Chandragupta gaining immortality disguised themselves in their clans and reappeared in form of modern rulers. It’s a tricky business. The question arises: what about the galactic core. What about infinite space. Why all this war for this tiny planet when there are countless universes? Or was it all a lie: like the movie Dark City tells so beautifully.

4. Missus Rathore paid hundred rupees. I bought milk worth twenty rupees and a bread packet worth ten rupees. I also had a plate of poha worth ten rupees and drank water on three handpumps. My time in the library was worth it as I was not busy. The next class is by three thirty in the noon. I bowled twenty bowls. Sun is still harsh. I might have worked to create rains but then hounds come after me. I have limited my hours outside. The supernatural series had a wonderful depiction of heaven and hell and since I watched its many seasons : I do miss it at times. I can’t afford Netflix.

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Jainism Salutations!

1. Jin in Jainism is different from Islamic Djinn: just to clarify the vocabulary. First one means: highest enlightenment. Second is a term for fiery beings who can fulfill a few wishes and the English word ‘genius’ comes from genii or Djinn. The way bramhins keep tuft resembles the way genii is portrayed in Disney world movies made on Arabian nights. J. R. R. Tolkien’s portrayal is slightly different.

2. The tradition of fivefold salutations in Jainism :

2.1: Salutations to Arhats or Arihants.

2.2: Salutations to Siddhas.

2.3: Salutations to Aryas.

2.4: Salutations to monks (sadhus).

2.5: Salutations to Upadhyays (fit to teach).

In the first category belong: teerthankaras like Mahaveera and Rishabhdeva: Rishabhdeva is discussed in Bhagvata Purana too. Mahaveera is considered a historical personality. Jainism clearly denies personal gods. To put Buddha, Padmasambhava or Vallalar or even Patanjali into the category of Arhat might be the violation of the foundation of Jainism.

In the second category come all those who are adept in achieving their ends. Usually Hindu texts talk about eight fold opulences and nine-fold vehicles. But Marvel and DC comics do a better job at describing supernatural powers . A perfect adept has mastery over all such opulences. Reviving the deads: as done by Vaasudev Krishna, Sundrar and other Nayanmars along with Tailanga swami or Gorakshnath and creation of new heavens like Vishwamitra or Vashishtha can be considered as depiction of perfect adept status.

In the third category : all those who created Vedas and Vedanta. Those are the same people who have been called Mahajana in Mahabharata written by Vyasa. It’s strange: Saadhu or monk who doesn’t need salutations : who is on peak of peace: one who doesn’t affect others like Laotzu: isn’t even as good as Arya. Perhaps Laotzu belonged to Arhats. Clearly: those who earn interest on loans given as debt to help people in need are not beyond the Karma.

Even if you are given a sum on zero percent interest rate: you constantly carry a load of worries on your shoulders: worry about paying it back to the one who gave it to you. Loans are bad. Time is the biggest interest. Learn from Benjamin Franklin. A slight delay in the payment and value is lost. Hence: those who call themselves “Mahajan” are not really the ones Vyasa might be calling worth emulation. If he indeed did so: even Bhagvata tells that his son was a Paramhamsa and he was a Hamsa: it puts him in the category of adepts only and not Arhats. Shukadev might be Arhat like Vallalar.

Any institution which gives you loans is run by devil. It has been proven beyond doubt. All those details which are not revealed completely : come biting you. Same with contracts: jobs, marriages and so on. Look at me: I gained adept status but merely to earn a livelihood I had to beg for money. The money which should have been paid for my labours: wasn’t given by these people who are timekeepers and earn interest on gullible people. Not just earning it: they have elaborate networks which trap you so deeply that you can never sleep well. One loan after another. One luxury item after another. Janaka was free from debts: so was Ashtavakra.

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Noises

1. Shailendra said that he would pay me three hundred rupees by the fifteenth of October.

2. Haigo girl said: the new batch might begin by twentieth. It’s seven fifty rupees per month for two hours of work everyday with four children. It’s after I have sought employment earnestly for over a year. How come: all through my life: being earnest didn’t fetch me a decent livelihood. And now it’s afterlife: heaven one day and hell another day. Yet: I don’t deserve to have even the information technology which is available to people who can’t read either Hindi or English. Gandhi was given a donation by certain family: it was in Bengal. He said ” it’s meagre.” I understand him now. He said ” my stomach is India’s stomach.” He had a flat stomach. His India became India of Modi and Ambani. You know what kind of stomach they have. Same with Rajneesh: he had a big stomach. If Gandhi meets me: he would know that there are people who lived much more frugally than he ever did. And that too when I take a decent bath whenever I need to. Khaadi is too costly. Let Gandhi Smarak Bhavan not pretend about Sarvodaya. What kind of Sarvodaya have they really been up to? Buying a 300 rupees set of lower and t-shirt I can’t dare to sieve them or replace them for six months with the kind of income I have. And it’s after I have been teaching English and Hindi for aeons(eons?) Very few people have a better vocabulary than mine. And that results in getting less than what people on poverty line get: about seven thousand rupees per month. If I had a decent income: I would have spent it on buying balls, porn and getting as much of internet, books as I wanted or visiting places where I don’t need to see Bundelkhandi for a certain amount of time or not even Indians or people from Earth. I don’t understand this ergonomics so I keep these notes to come back to: once I am wiser they would be handy.

3. I measured the distance on feet: the distance between the schools number two and number one. Between the dustbins placed by the municipal corporation. When I walk on the side of stadium: on platform or on footpath: it came out to be a whopping sixty steps! Whopping because previously it was one fifty steps. When I measured it on side of schools: it came in the usual range. What does this experiment mean?

4. Interpretation: it might mean many things. But it’s a proof for this reality being a dream and an in-between. Sadly: I can’t do as I please. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Everything is getting costlier. I have proven to multiple witnesses: Rahul, Umang, Paras, Saarthak and Aakash: about height being variable. It’s not just my height. It’s everyone’s height. Thus: the distance covered by my feet varies and measurements can’t be constant between two dustbins. This is maintained in a way by spacetime agents. If I do something extraordinary: something which was neither done by me before nor done by anyone among my acquaintances: in the scientific layer(sheath): it accompanies an extraordinary amount of work by people around me. As if: if I am witnessing something which is akin to magic or miracles: a similar amount of work should happen in my physical surroundings as well. Ennui has gone. If I were to tell an exact date: it was after I came across kabbalists and decided to work on my own liberation in a scientific manner. It was after I had prayed for euthanasia. I stopped talking about euthanasia when I realized that I had been dying countless number of times. When people tremble uttering the name of death: I had counted its teeth. In cities: it was: heads of families, heads of cults, goons, maafias, sellers of women and police. In emergency: it was military and grocers who sold things at very high prices. In towns: it was cults and shamans. Doctors versus healers. Black magicians. Mantrics. Etcetera. Boredom was a prime problem in my life for almost a decade. I found a way out via Vallalar. It was after I was enough mature to get initiated by a master. I couldn’t comply with his rigid code advocating celibacy especially when he was way more fat than a master should be. Tailang Swami of Kashi was an exception but Hathayogin do consider it a flaw if you have an excessive amount of water in your body. I began counting. Counting the events generated helped me sail my boat out of misery. Though I kept returning to same dark nightmares where nearest and dearest were hell bent on sucking life force out of me. It took all my training to stay healthy and free from these demons. And a model like Vallalar: unparalleled in the history of last two hundred years. Gandhi and Vinoba can’t even touch his shadow. Nobody including Ramakrishna or Jiddu can claim for the perfection he presented in his verses. If Vallalar is the greatest myth: if there’s no victory over death, decay and aging. Then: all institutions fall. Education falls. Dharma is dead. Nobody can ask me to do anything for there’s no reference book.

5. In conclusion: I achieved a great understanding of spacetime. I became popular without trying hard to be. I wanted to be rich but it somehow eludes. It’s akin to selling your soul which you had mortgaged to some other claimant a long ago. Most rapid flowering happened after I drank ambrosia in November and December of 2014. Thus: ambrosia and awakening via logos did have something miraculous but it couldn’t fetch me a real crystal palace. A place where I could stay without noise for as long as I needed to. A place where only Divine melodies ring. No human voices whatsoever, no demonic or Divine voices. No disturbances of any kind visual or otherwise exist: this eluded me. Thirteen years and counting for silence. For indefinite undisturbed peace where I have perfect control of my environment. That tells you: if I served any gods or chanted any names: it resulted in zilch. Zilch full of noises. Noises repeated ad infinitum ad nauseum.