The trilling warbling chorus of slaty colored birds. Well, you do seem interested. Kingfisher sings. The mules walk one after another. Seven of them. The last two nuzzled. The man on bike recognized me. Came back to chat for a minute. The Shepherd was being funny on bike with his wayward cow.
Another teen with yellow light of his bike and a smartphone in his left hand is yawning without license.
Well, what licence do you need to yawn?
To own a smart fawn?
To Donn a bike at the dawn?
None, whatsoever.
It rained last evening. Just a bit. The man from the future was an entertaining watch but nothing extraordinary you have never seen before and fat, ugly actors kept calling themselves beautiful. I hope that’s not Brazilian standard for beauty depicted in a mainstream movie. The movie was made in 2011, a time when many time loop movies were being made. The market for the subject seems to be dry now. Drayfuss omnibus busted stead succubus succulent lentil till entomologist falls ill or gets the gist of twist Ishtar tartar arra Rastafarian aria. Riata realty. It’s the day you hear nation state devotional songs around you which were actually created to make money for mainstream cinema. The edition could be sold anywhere.
2. An auto passes by with a loudspeaker playing a romantic song. Buffaloes. I was ruminating about my September routine for some reason. At one of my places of employment they are preparing sweets and planning for a fast. Whether sweets win or fast goes slow down time rhyme ancient enciente chime. There were more people and vehicles on road this morning. All people who are slaves to death, fear, aging and desires celebrate independence which someone got for them. The song you hear around you is a deity that is angry when a nation state is not satisfied.
3. My partner in crime is always out of sync with me. I go to North and she goes South. The first thing I do when I wake up is check my email.
4. I step out of the house and cawing of crows is the first sound i hear at the cross roads. I come across junkies everyday. It is a Saturday and they say the vehicle of deity of this day is Crow. Crowd. Download. Row. Rowdy dying ying yang gingerly surly curly cues. I go to the river to wash my clothes.
5. And there were no fishes. You know if my 15 year old self was to see me washing clothes like this besides a lake it would be amazed at the creativity of life. For most part of my life I was chasing mirages: things that didn’t exist. I keep shedding delusions like a deciduous tree in autumn. The only one that sticks is true faith.
6. I am. Beyond that, there’s no object of faith. Love sure feels chocolaty and all but it comes with grey hounds and prize tags and very conditions for it are good weather and sound economy with delusional faith in inherent goodness of life whereas all you see is staring rings of ghosts, ghouls and goblins. But at least a Life Locker is silver.
7. I do keep telling myself that this version of mine is wiser than the one that was here yesterday. But the big question about the end remains. If there’s no end: I need a comfortable abode and if none such exists, as told by the experience, there is not much left for me to do, and yet I will keep doing something or the other stating the obvious. So I prefer to be among those who have remembered and not among those who have forgotten.
8. I am looking for a greater source of energy. I travelled in time and I intend to repeat it with calculable and repeatable accuracy. I was thinking about life: you need to pay for everything. Even most minimalistic life style needs plenty of effort unless you were born with a silver spoon, which I was not. To fall from the favorable opportunity and groups you don’t need to do something imprudent: just be honest and truthful or keep your silence and you will be given up by one and all. You need effort to protect your body, your room, your reputation. Further effort is needed to prove you are sane: such as regular small talk with neighborhood friends. The effort required to protect your ownership of your girlfriend, wife or land or the facility leaves very little of humanity in you. Whenever I feel busy and restless because of being busy I remind myself of people around who are pursuing women, wealth, fame or knowledge. I think this is an effort only a few people can afford and maybe that is all the people are capable of. Beginning with an effort to protect your health it’s all an effort to live for the sake of living. Living is its own reward. A biker in shorts brings grass on his bike. Drowsy and unwilling he orders a tea.
1. Multitasking doesn’t create tension for a computer or AI because it has no ego limitations. It doesn’t want anything more than others.
Sometimes I wonder if nature’s way of getting things done is to through various ego structures. For example…Evolution of lifetimes of human beings is nothing but nature’s work in progress through various agents. Since it’s playing with itself it’s multitasking through various organisms and other non living particles. In case of individuals: multitasking can be mastered with practice with dedicated attention in separate slots. As a general rule you never pay total attention to anything; that’s part of mindfulness: to bring maximal energy to present task. But the heart, kidney, liver, brain and other organs keep working in synchronization: so it’s only an ego identity which finds it difficult to multitasking.
Usually if you can juggle between many tasks within a short amount of time: you are considered smart and multitasking is part of being smart. In the computer and AI worlds they usually don’t multitask because they are never concerned with any ego limitation.
2. A nursery in a small corner is named ” The Great Nursery” It is such a large place that it can serve the children of the whole country. 3. Sometimes I make sense and some others : I don’t. Like life. For a long part of this journey, I have wondered when it was all going to end. I still do, at least once everyday, but I understand clearly: wanting it to end isn’t enough: I need to walk. A step at a time is all that’s needed unless I am walking in circles and then end will be reached. The end is always a little further than one expects. Because: imagination distorts. Sometimes solutions to problems are easier than you think. The knowledge of what is possible. Is wisdom. It has been so often said that we understand more than we think, and this is true.
There were baboons on the branches of the tree. They were eating its fruits. I stopped by to capture a picture. A date tree was all wrapped in by an ivy. It’s for the first time I observed it. The dogs were barking for some reason. The wild animals had come out from the forest. To rest besides the lake. The goats passed by as I sat down on the stone. The guy who gave me tea was formerly a taxi driver. He was eloquent. He said: ” if customers keep coming I feel significant and engaged, else I feel like closing down and going home. You know it’s recession and people are going out of house only for work or when it’s necessary. They don’t splurge money. They spend money only when they go out for fun, aimlessly. Income has been meagre.” His companion who was watching news on smartphone told: it’s been raining cats and dogs in Bhopal.
I walk a few steps to listen to the silence. A music ringing in my left ear. After grazing on green grass goats lay down on the road. Two mules were rubbing their backs against each other. I saw no Kingfishers today. Now Sun is again shining brightly but there are no rainbows. Some kids are playing Cricket in the railway station ground. I am sure I read the name for the leafless tree. I had a sound sleep and I have been exhorting my pupils to keep a journal. After breakfast, I go to the market.
3. A soft breeze touches my skin. Crows sing. Some butterflies fly out to flowers, an ant is looking for food. The whole world is running in circles after itself. Each and everyone compliments the other. It’s the perfect peace they’re after. If we only knew that they have already kept their promises.
There are certain advantages to waking up early morning hours and going for walk. I had no other option but to walk. I already feel richer. She had the idea of wearing a new dress.
2. I bought the dress for her. The budget was drugged. I often think what my existence is about and I see how meaning keeps changing on hourly basis. In my personal existence you won’t find a set of habits. I don’t have a core Philosophy: however, I think if someone was able to win over disease, decay and death: someone else might also do the same. If all it needs is work: let me take the first step. The night was late and I was still writing.
3. I realised: anumaan means ‘ that which is of atomic estimate.’ Hanuman might have evolved as a derivative, though the story about the chin being struck with a thunderbolt is a fairly popular one in which ‘hanu’ meant ‘chin’. A connection is also present in sahajiya way monks used the term ‘unmani’ which meant ‘as per the universal mind.’ Your body and mind start to evolve, I don’t believe in any of the stories told by fathers.
4. The snake in the shoe of the sub inspector bit his hand. He went to another city. The incharge received a complaint about a suicide in a room by a young lad whose father had committed suicide a couple of years ago in the same room. A cricketer committed suicide yesterday and a politician died immediately after a television debate because of the cardiac arrest. The deaths have been on rise, especially suicide. The gossiping doesn’t change my routine much for I need to keep trudging through the muddy terrains. Rains: no rainbow. A man besides me kept spitting after every second minute. Flammable motor spirit kept passing. I saw a thick dark layer of clouds around me. It takes me one hour to get up to the gorge. And watch the dance of death. The field is clogged with tornadoes.
Another thunderstorm is building up. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I was thinking of the garden’s beauty but no trace of it is left. Honda city pink stink lights mink coat fur Jennifer refer fern inference Terrence mackerel doggerel relevant vantage point interim rim scrimshaw hawker kerchief Chieftain tainted ted talks stalks shoot through the roof behooves vestibule Yuletide season sonneteer very near earmarked doughty haughty tympanum bathology pathology gyrating tingling. It is a lovely night for a summer walk. I walk outside and see Moon. Orion and other bright stars.
I keep walking and the Sun rises in the East and then it stars playing hide and seek before playback singer germane mane inane shrapnel harpsichord harpagon gonebydays gone through the air. Dark chocolate chip cookies. Clouds again. I was walking, and the Sun just rose behind the clouds.
1. Muhammad the prophet, Moses, Jesus, Krishna, Ramananda, Buddha and Nanak were messengers from God for those who believe in God and prototypes for human potential for those who believe humans can evolve. I doubt if they would have thought that no other human being had ability to let divinity be expressed via him or her. If that was the case: their teachings are of no use and hence they lose their prophetic status.
2. A 22 year old Nigerian music composer was sentenced to death for saying something against prophet of Islam. Bangalore was “on the rocks” for something similar by a politician on Facebook. Why don’t we earnestly work for “euthanasia for all” and “population control.? ” If you keep people uneducated and unemployed this is inevitable.
3. Prophet of Islam was not a Muslim as Jesus was not a Christian. If they were not fortunate rebels like Nanak and Buddha there wouldn’t have been new religions. And these new religions then leave scope like old ones for fanatic killing of other rebels just because they were blasphemous. Islam advocates formlessness of Absolute so I don’t grasp the word “eeshninda” or criticism of God. Moreover, I don’t endorse criticism of great people or petty people of past, present or future without grounds. If Rama can send his pregnant wife away just because he couldn’t take criticism: he’s no more praiseworthy than a regular chap who escapes the household responsibility after making a woman pregnant.
4. It’s sad that a court of law in an African country sentences a young man with death for being blasphemous. At best: you should have given him some counseling and at worst let him be. This is the golden age in the twenty first century!
I sit on a stone outside the Padmanabha Puram: a residential complex near railway station. Some buffaloes pass by. Smooth soothing soft breeze touches my skin. Some vehicles keep passing. The weather has been pleasant in this month.
I saw a tagline on a small trailer which was parked on my way. It said something which meant what the heading of this article means.
Exact words: Jai maan Ardhakunwari!
Ardhakunwari is derived from Ardhakumari. Kunwar or kunwari is variation of Kumar or kumari which meant virgin or pure. Ardha is a prefix here which means half. Thus the word means half virgin.
You might have heard about the virgin Mary. But what about the mother half virgin? This is the first time I have seen her name. She’s neither virgin nor not virgin. She’s neither pure nor not pure. She’s neither black nor white. What’s she?
Yes, she’s a mystery. There’s a world of gods and goddesses who are taken from the folklore and found only on the vehicles as protection charms.
Since this post is about names: let me take a diversion here. I have been meaning to write about couple of surnames for sometime. Surnames tell a great story if you have means to dig up the etymology. However I would only touch upon two new surnames I found in my colony which were waiting to be discovered.
The first one is maafidaar. It’s the surname of a ration shop owner. It seems like it has something to do with the infamous maafia which is originally from Italian maafos which relates to the arabic or Urdu maafi too and means to pardon. The word is kind of euphemism because ‘being able to pardon’ was an insinuation towards ability to punish. It was about the creditors. The word Mahajan originally meant ‘great people’ as in the epic Mahabharata Vyasa says: Mahajanoyen…..panthah : the path on which great people have left their footsteps is the path to be walked. Later the word meant only the people who were loan sharks.
The next word is: argala. This surname also seems to be odd. It’s akin to maafidaar threatening in nature. Argala means divine obstruction. It’s not something you take lightly. It’s the surname of a family of advocates of law.
Buffaloes and the truck drivers. Kingfisher kingdom domicile. Ruminant ant Anant pendant cud duck Dynasty nasty stylus lustrous tumultuous tumulus. Omasum abomasum Masum mashup upstarte arriviste stellar larkspur spurt turpitude etude deutronomy myalgia iambic ictus tusselated laterad raddled addlepated addler handler class exception ionized zed eye yedi edified iodied index dexterity ritzy zygote writ out of bound victuals underground redound !
2. We finished reading Anton Chekhov’s “The Beggar.” The story might have been written more than a century ago but it still has great appeal to humane emotions.
3. The big reveal was the positive transformation caused by the cook Olga who had a great character. Towards the climax, the positive changes were coming but the causes were revealed to be more than immediate mercy of Sergei. It’s a masterpiece.
4. Buffaloes. The milk of cows is more nutritious than that of buffaloes but the latter is costlier than the former. However, ghee of cow is much more costlier than that of buffalo’s.
5. I wonder sometimes: why do I see so few stories written about bloggers and gamers? I think it’s quite evident that akin to the inspiration for stories, the settings for them don’t take current routine lives into account as much as some visual medias do. I think there’s a reason for regressive inspiration mode in case of desktop/Android/iPhone publishers.
6. About 8 dogs entered into the Shiva temple. There were 11 crows on an electric wire, opposite to which there was a graffiti with cartoon characters. I am sure: it takes a month or two to walk on these highways to be able to convince yourself: it’s not a crime. It’s also not a crime to take pictures and talk to strangers. But some customs are strange especially when people are merely waiting for an excuse to die. A man in a black shirt was delirious and escorted on a bike by another. Perhaps he was ill. Which dendrites rites of passage sage way wayward warden telon melon loaned denim minions selling onion lingas. I watched “only the animals,” a French movie for an hour before I was so bored with it that I had to stop. Real life events seem more interesting than movies these days. I can’t recall a movie which was interesting in last few months. Which was the last movie that impressed me? I am unable to recall.
7. Dragon’s tail is in the glass. Ouroboros is in the class. Act is ectomorphic. Hicks. Hanged man Uranus. Regulus. Sun is playing hide and seek with clouds. A toddler laughs as its siblings frolic with a white furry pup. Body of a dragonfly is dragged along the cement road by wind and the patches on it look like pieces on a jigsaw puzzle. Zigzag ziggurat ratbaggery philomel rye eerie Apothecary carry on carrion caryatid odalisque seraglio lionized zed eyes winged Angel gell well.
A tree. Standing quietly in the middle of a farm. A farmer is weeding the field and the crops look bathed in the recent drizzle. A black dog stares at me. A Kingfisher has been sitting on the same electric wire where I left it half an hour ago. Weather has been absolutely pleasant and now temperature dropped as the drizzling stopped. I wanted to capture an image of the black bird but it flew away. I went to check the mud puddle.
2. The dance has astounding beauty today. I give a helping hand as a trailer laden with Fruits and vegetables is stuck on road which bent because of the cabling. I am not the only one as there was a traffic jam. Then I was worried about how to reach the destination.
The ways in which we think are as mysterious as godhead. Moonflower dance with a cyclist who was holding hands with a motorcyclist. A slight change in the tone and the meaning changes dramatically. Three crows on a single branch. The number of the trailer is 1480. Birds are chirping and vehicles pass by. A poet died yesterday and a teacher died today. A mule has an erection: how poetic tic tac toe mantic mantle up the ante update up to date upbeat neat Beatles tribute betlegeuse regal gala lingam. The ink in the pen is a black and the paper is white.
1. It was drizzling. Absolutely quiet as I was walking. And though I have been accusing myself of being lazy: an actual contraction of spacetime was taking place. I was like a character in your favourite science fiction movie. Ramalinga had no time for the material aspects or the renderings haven’t survived to see the light of the day. The gradual contraction and the expansion of the spacetime had to do with the sun rays in the southern and northern hemisphere of Earth. I would have stopped to work on the details and received the Nobel prize in Physics if it survived by the time but I am in a kind of a hurry to merge into the dancing light of the Grace so I will pass on it. Because there are things I must do before I am done with this world.
2. A birdie came in search of food and a Kingfisher was trilling. I am counting my blessings and peace has been profound in last few moments. That is, until I remembered my favourite Science Fiction movies.
3. Although it is one life dancing inside and outside me and acceptance of it removes the material or spiritual sides; the one clarity that peace is the destination is not available in one which is so designed as to be always utilitarian. You show that peace or silence and people ask: of what use is peace or bliss? Will it give me the sustenance? Will it give me the exemption from diseases? The point they miss is: even if you have Security, Immunity from diseases, longevity: they’re of no use unless you are at peace with yourself. And it’s also true: no man is called peaceful unless he takes his peace to grave for change is inevitable. So, while the tests are the same, the knowledge of peace is the one that is chosen.
4. I showed them the portraits of great personalities on the walls of the library room. They had asked me to take a class on general knowledge though it was the Mathematics period. They were not able to retain the facts. They play pubg and fire of light but don’t know the name of the president. I don’t hold it against them as lack of national spirit but rather as an exercise for memory. I had a nice time talking to them and I hope they had a nice time talking to me as well. I read an Ekanki: one episode drama written by Jagadish Chandra Mathur : it was in my syllabus and now as I recalled the funny punches from it : my student was bursting out with laughter too. I was amazed by the way it was written and no new creations of type had come into my notice in the language. I was thinking about the security of the signals based on fibre optic cable network in the rainy season as I had a hard time accessing the server. I saw the guys who were laying cable and looking for basic facilities like a gas cylinder and wheat flour as they were going to stay here for a while. I asked them if they had enough things for their use and they told me they had.
4. The ginger in tea was making my liver sulk but it was the necessity of the climate. Being mindful is easy sometimes. Easier than others. I am for this and against that. The discrimination based on the race is still prevalent. Puritans. Equanimity.
1. An inspector calls: the name of the movie on which I wasted 67 minutes to see the wooden final summarizing delivery by the inspector with biblical sermon. It was about womenempowerment and about times when 50 pounds was a huge sum in England. I had to redownload the film after it was mysteriously deleted yesterday. Waste of bandwidth as well.
2. The weakest point in this film is its sloppy writing: all five members of one family who happen to be partying one evening for the engagement ceremony are somehow the people who have entangled themselves in doing harm to a girl(all within the last one year! What are the odds!) who committed suicide in dire circumstances. Some of them were actually kinder to her but not saints: the boys to be exact. And rest of them were actually being themselves. I think nobody did intentional harm to her but the sequential falling out of luck was too much for her. The coincidence is too dramatic to believable to engage you and to realize that inspector came there just to make them feel guilty rather than doing a job as he would make you believe by his demeanor in the beginning: are proof enough that the script is not just weak: it’s too weak. Low budget movie shot in a room fails to convince. If the inspector was really that enlightened sage : why would he bother making them aware of what they had done knowing well in full that they would soon forget the impression.
3. She wrote verses in between with the same spirit thinking that he would be back: wanted to tell you that she was strong on her own. But when he did return after the hiatus she deleted those written in between to make things look synchronous or to adjust her moods to new. It’s impossible to know the reality of closed chapters of life. Basic truth never changes: you are looking to make your life happier and peaceful in some form or the other.
4. IMDB ratings are unreliable. I am content but my persona is starved of a good SciFi or mystery movie. Something akin to memento, inland Empire or inception. It has been a long time since I watched a good movie.
1. It was a story inside a story: I didn’t expect the grandma to offer me water and tea. It was rare but it did happen. Her son was out doing work for he had been out of work for long. Peevish crying everyday. Bugging one and all and finding faults have been his lifelong obsessions which got extra demonic these days. He neither let you sleep well nor let you eat in peace. His greedy restlessness was hunting you because you seemed like an investment gone wrong. The scorpion mother tried to put her lust into fake caring voice which she still confused with motherly care but surfaced only when her husband was not around. You either understand scorpions or you don’t. These ladies were playing good cop. Temporarily, to draw out something from you. On command of their owner– In order to know what they considered were secrets I was carrying in my heart, whereas, I had no secrets and I saw them coming from miles.
What do they say? Once Bitten twice shy! Why, oh my my, I was bitten a zillion times so to say, by millions like them and yet couldn’t be shy but I had mastered to slay their dragons and scorpions just in time to ward them off. The best revenge is to live well.
2. Wordlstar Cafe: was constantly closed. What made it a decade and half ago seemed like a progressive step in this town. Pizzas: costly food which is not healthy for your budget or intestines. I had no pizza in the last eight years and I secretly craved it sometimes. Cozy Star Cafe: why did they name these cafes like that? Now, there were two ultra modern hotels for marriages but the pandemic was playing pandemonium umlaut plaudit dithering ringtone dipthong Hong Kong dingdong singsongs Singapore claptrap humdrum humbug gummy worms Armageddon donning Inglewood wodden dense mesnes nested loops bloops Nescafe nascent scent incandescent bulbs. Come to think of it, the whole town felt as if it was in a decrepit state.
3. I had overestimated their worth in every which way: especially their spiritual worth. A water ball seller was killed for asking ₹5 as the payment. It was about 25 kilometres near this town. I was having warerballs near the waterfalls when he was attacked by a drunk guy named Ramkishan and there was a snowstorm nearby. On the way back, I heard some shocking news.
Dancing light of grace 