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In the end was the end!

1. Don’t know how it ends. I am happy to have commented on her posts in a civil manner. It’s a success.

2. I received a coin which had 2017 as its release year as i bought the incense sticks. Crackers were bursting nearby.

3. I bowled 50 times. It was easy to focus on catching and bowling to target but slightly difficult to breathe. I still think it’s the smog they create here on a regular basis. I absorb plenty of that air.

4. I sat in the field for a while as Sun was setting. They were going towards a well. I felt relieved after reading her verse. If our communication was as civil some three years ago: i might have been happier. Old debts. How much of energy, time and effort was wasted in merely being lucid in communication. All people speak different languages. Different groups speak different languages. In the end you’re left with your own version/interpretation of reality. It might be stoic or solipsistic or both. The next step towards civility might be to not expect her to read my posts or to acknowledge them. Not everyone is equally attractive/appealing. People have their priorities.

5. There’s not much worth remembering from this day. A rocket was going South as twilight was getting darker. Just besides the Moon. Then a star popped, silently.

6. Did the tall ladies: two of them in a day mean something in particular? I really don’t know. There’s tonnes of irrelevant information i process on a regular basis.

7. The star on Church gate has a pentagon and five triangles. Though i already commented on that: the bulb is not in the middle of the red pentagon. It’s towards lower right end. The Moon on the top of the shaft is tilted : just like the heads of Jesus and Mary.

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Fragrance!

1. She retained Kuntal as Kaundal.

2. Her memory of my memory isn’t any better than it used to be.

3. She inquired about the fragrance. As i was returning from the Deendayal Rasoi: the fragrance near the entrance was palpable. They’re all in on it.

4. I registered 44 titles today. The last rack on the ninth almirah should be completed by tomorrow evening: ideally.

5. I intend to do some bowling practice this evening. Watched a bit of theatre rehearsal.

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Jabalpur_17122020_Cracking The Code!

1. I merely thought: “she’s born in Jabalpur Madhya Pradesh, not in Bengal or Orisaa.”

2. I once told her that you now belong to this place as you live here.

3. This morning the news becomes all about Jabalpur on Dainik Bhaskar. I also meet a reporter whom I had not seen in two and half years in the Gandhi Smarak Bhavan complex.

4. Not just one: i see too many name plates within a single day: BJP chief to Congress chief to Women Congress chief.

5. AT meeting me wasn’t a coincidence. Neither Vijay Patel.

6. Way too many people in a single day and trimming of branches continues. The North is more visible from the Biotic Farm. I would have stopped to capture an image if I was inspired.

7. Would the reporter disappear like Imran Akhtar Beg or really take my English classes is the question which holds utmost importance this evening.

8. There are many ways to interpret the Jabalpur news flooding on Bhaskar on 17122020.

9. The moment i Publish this post she likes my Instagram picture. The lunch yesterday was organized. Like : changing of catering staff at Deendayal rasoi where a comic performance was held at the point of my entry. Devendra disappeared and another guy appeared in the theatrical rehearsal. The lady who dropped her hair last evening might not be the one who was there this evening. I saw those two hair strands and gave them to her with a joke that those were hers.

10. When i saw Dhaniya on a thela outside Aditi’s street: it occurred to me : it might be about Sammy Jenkins.

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Syzygy!

1. Bowled 10 overs. 20 hits.

2. Had some difficulty breathing. The ladies at home burn too much tinder to fill the house with smog. It’s been decades old practice. Might suit you in open spaces.

3. Read and edited some posts.

4. The cement pitch has been cracked open like that patch of sidewalk outside electricity board office.

5. It’s after two days gap i arrive here. Some vitamin number 4. A cat crossed my road after a long time. It went towards West with a thirty degree angle just near the old ITI building.

6. The news is brimming with accidents and traffic jams. Khara maas begins. Khara or Khala means beastly or contaminated. Mala or dirty. It’s the alignment of galactic core with Sun and Earth. Till Makara Sankranti: you have Christmas to celebrate and sleep a lot if they don’t burn wood to create smog.

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For a few rupees more!

1. I asked her if she needed my services in the month of December-January. She asked her daughter who told her that she would continue to take classes.

2. Then she told me she needed my services until her exams are over: that’s until March.

3. This conversation took place yesterday afternoon inside library of Gandhi Smarak Bhavan at about two o’ clock. There were only three of us.

4. It was second such conversation after our conversation under banyan tree. Since then: i have taught her some 400 words, played at least 20 games on Free Rice site with her to help her augment her vocabulary. Also helped her learn creation of Vocabulary jams on vocabulary.com

I helped her learn doing diary entries but she refused to do them : like she refused to write verses or reports. An assignment to compare Meera/Arukka Mahadevi/Andal was given. It was from her book and she didn’t do it repeatedly for at least five days until i helped her with it in class. It was easy to do. She is smarter than other students i have taught so far but not anywhere near what my ‘ideal’ student would be like.

Her mother overlooks my reports about her not working enough on assignments. But when i am questioned for teaching her words in the most scientific way: she begins arguing and questions my integrity.

5. The last time around i was helping her with the vocabulary jams on vocabulary.com : a notification from her school comes on Whatsapp.

“You need to attend a test.”

6. Her school, her parents and others don’t have a sense of schedule or time when it comes to learning. I have to ask her three questions everyday:

A. Do you want to take class today?

B. Did you do your homework?

C. What do you mean by 5 minutes? Would you come for class at the appointed time which keeps changing at your convenience? It’s usually 20 to 30 minutes delay everyday.

7. They take the teacher for granted because there’s the teacher: punctual and always available. Selling himself short. Content.

8. All that for a mere 1000 rupees!

Image credit: Self, inside Gandhi Smarak Bhavan.

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Is Freedom Free?

1. I lost again. She scored 100 points more on both German and Algebra.

2. I registered some books. Maybe 35.

3. This is a beautiful day. Twilight Zone. Dakshinamurti strotam under eight petalled lotus.

4. I played some vocabulary jams. I need to play some more.

5. 2341325422 are ranks i received on jams. There were only 10 to 12 players. Yet: I had slowed down. My ability to slow down or increase my metabolic rate is nothing extraordinary. It’s akin to activity and rest. Like jogging and sleeping. From Tibetan Book to Kapil of Samkhya it’s a homecoming. Peace. Whatever you see is verily the Truth. Don’t look for miracles or hidden mysteries.

6. Day 6 in Deendayal rasoi:

I was asked to sit by a hand gesture.

Left hand gesture as the catering volunteer wearing glasses was writing with his right hand.

I sat there for a while; playing free rice. I was surprised to learn that he didn’t ask my name and wrote it by using his memory. It might be the biggest honor this month. I didn’t forget to thank him for his generosity. He was there in 2018:

“Dau ki bhauji ke XYZ. Jab karam bigad jaate hain to aisa hi hota hai…”

I am not sure who that was intended for but I took it to mean for me. It was a memory of delays. The cook had a longer pardah or ghoonghat than yesterday.

A guy with a T-shirt which had an image of Shiva and Bam written on it showed up.

They wanted me to write this note. The T-shirt was gifted by Guddu bhaiya. His name is present on the inauguration stone. Outside the premise. I never hesitated to take help from charities or communities and it was always so. It seemed as if I was an orphan. I never doubted my integrity for reality. Not even for a split second. Humanity is a fraction of reality. I had doubts grasping complex society.

The hot chapattis are actually rotis. They were never available at house. It was bhaiya bhabhi United productions. It was dark. I trusted railway stations more than the mother who kept me subdued for selfish reasons.

I ate those rotis. The lady who cooked them is my mother. She verily deserves all my respect and reverence. I can touch her feet at any moment if required.

I never had those hot rotis before. Perhaps very briefly in 2018. It was a rainy affair in those days. I was investigating miracles then. Now I was sure of Kabbalistic Deuteronomy.

It’s not a sign of weakness to trust charities. A faction works inside this premise. Another works in that house. As many universes as beings: all overlapping with each other.

7. Ambrosia is costly. It’s gained by being meritorious but then as your consciousness expands: you need to grow all around : else you are always lacking something. Social intelligence or civics is connected to Morality. As you grow in intelligence you need to integrate all that you knew with the latest knowledge. Give credit to get credit. Don’t give debit as it creates further interest. Compound interest is too much to pay. Anyone in the world deserves as much freedom as you do. If you remember this: you shall be fine.

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Sheinkin versus Dickinson!

1. What kind of surname is sheinkin?

2. Is it a distant cousin of Dickinson?

3. Or Dick? As in Phillip K. Dick.

4. Pyaasi is an Indian surname.

Pyaasi means thirsty.

Now: ‘White’ as a surname is not anymore attractive than ‘Thirsty’ but you know. Everyone loves their identity and conditioning. That’s why it exists.

I found surname Sheinkin in one of the vocab jams on vocabulary.com. The author of “Lincoln’s Gravediggers” has this surname.

A Tohu verse:

Yarmulke armistice

Ice very nice

Eyes spies

Latke jhatke jara hatke

Arra lox ox with a fox

Tchotchke hotpotpourri riffraff far off

Livery very veridiasical

Note: these words were culled from various Vocabulary jams on vocab.com

Latke means ‘hanging’ in Hindi. Latke latke : repeated twice means subject performed some action while they were hanging(out.)

Latke in Yiddish is a potato dish.

Words beginning with t?

Tchotchke

Tzimtzum is my favourite.

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After Deendayal Rasoi Day Five!

1. I took some pictures: uploaded them on instagram before I began writing this article. The weather is pleasant.

2. It is Sunday market. The Ramlila ground was fully occupied. I had a pleasant meal in Deendayal rasoi. The scrubber was inside the soap bucket. I looked for it around me and then dipped my hand inside the bucket. Guacamole is avocado dipped in a dish. Dipped in what?

3. I saw an exquisite Robin after exiting toilet. I washed my feet before I came to this place.

4. This has been an extraordinary year in many senses. Despite all miracles: it seems as if it’s a huge burden i am carrying. Most people don’t recall words from our last conversations whereas I tell them about chains of events and causation in vain. It’s because of miracles: it seems like an eternity. And there’s an eternity in the making. There’s no death, no aging or defeat in this game.

5. I developed following models for young people I used to interact with:

A. Game

B. Journey

C. War

D. Dream

E. School

6. I have no doubt that I love the School model the most. And yet: these are merely five prime models. There can be countless such models.

7. Journey model is used by Guru or psychonauts. Internal or external journeys are used with landmarks to ascertain progress. Crystalline intelligence is mostly about memories. Good or bad. Organized or disorganized.

8. Every model overlaps with other. As Kabbalistic sephirods scheme has material and spiritual worlds overlapping each other.

9. Take Truth realm universe or Sachkhand for example. There can be countless witnesses to tell about their experiences. I use it to debunk myths.

10. Try it: things are what they seem. If you see people : you’re seeing people. If you see trees: you’re seeing trees. If they say no: they mean no.

11. The laws are wierd and merciless.i participated in making of a video which was shot under Ashok tree. I was a reluctant participant. That journalist is present in the library today. He’s a member of the trust. I was reading “Teere Teere Narmada,” by Amritlal Vegad then. I wanted to buy the book but as they had only one copy left: I didn’t.

12. Shri took my picture. We were reading the post about fishes that was published yesterday from this very spot. First she asked why I don’t upload my selfie pictures on my blogs. Then, without my permission she took two shots. I asked her to show them to me-out of curiosity about my appearance. Then I requested her to delete them. She didn’t. I asked her to give me a picture of her face. She refused. I kept taking her shots with hope of capturing her face. She covered it. Then she asked me to not use her body’s picture on my blog. I agreed. What’s so special about our faces? Conditioning.

I reminded her to not behave in a way with others in which we don’t want others to behave with us.

“Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.”

13. She also showed a sketch done by her. She cut the paper and used it on back of her smartphone. She’s quick to learn and evolve. It was indeed flattering to have my picture captured by someone. But I don’t want to feel incapacitated. She refused to be captured. So did I. One day I was captured and they refused to delete my picture. I didn’t like it.

Eventually: she deleted my images and showed her phone. I deleted all 14 of her images and showed it to her.

14. She didn’t do her homework again. Why do people behave the way they do? We played on Free Rice: German, Algebra and Chemical symbols. She gave up on the last one very easily. Scored much better than me on German but lost on Algebra.

The key to score better than her is:

1. To not to chat with her as you play.

2. To focus on maximizing score instead of being righteous.

3. To not to multitask.

15. All indo-germanic languages have similar roots. That’s why I find it easy to answer questions on German and Spanish though I have never studied them systematically.

16. If I kept playing on Free Rice: soon I would be able to learn basic working ‘visual vocabulary’ of all languages offered there: German, Spanish, Greek and Latin.

17. As I was listening to Lucky Ali’s song from his album Sifar: the triangle on the palm symbol attracted my attention. Mercury, Saturn and Moon mounts are on top of three lines which create the triangle. The shape of Paratha. The cone. The dot in the centre is verily the Sun. The Self. The void. The black hole. Neither nor, either or, 1/0. Sefer Yetzirah.

18. Those who are quick to promise are found faltering when required to fulfill them. Don’t trust young people about serious issues. Buying half a kilogram of guava costs 20 rupees whereas eating them by plucking from a farmer’s farm brings 1000 demons of guilt. This is what comes from experience. If your requirements are simple, definable and affordable : they can be fulfilled if you’re willing to pay the price.

19. Ramcharan Vidyarthi came as I was cataloguing books. He told about Damayanti madam not being happy with my sweeping of library hall. I have been sweeping it on every Saturday. Yesterday she got it Sweeped before I reached. This gave them the right to talk behind my back, then bring it to my front, then make me write it and earn extra brownies. This is the way of the world. A tall broom is needed to remove cobwebs. I should have shown knack of tying the broom to the bamboo which was put outside the library hall. I didn’t.

20. Why should I learn driving a second hand Maruti 800 which has a complex gear mechanism when technological advancements have brought cars which run via manual gears which are as easy as flying personal chartered planes?

21. Why this third world mass manufacturing market of filth has all of the people producing offsprings who have similar fates? Limited and oppressing?

22. I set myself a goal to again reach Kumbhaka level 4 minutes. Lia was responding to oxygenation then. I confounded her with Nandita. Prosopagnosia. I had achieved it in 2003. This year took me on excursions which taught me mysteries of Atma Pariyojna. Mysterious ways of Kabbalistic Deuteronomy. I had to shut myself off comletely as every walk used to bring experience worth one book.

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Pocket Money!

1. I clearly remember that she told me about ordering chaat and it getting delivered here. She didn’t complain about pocket money before.

2. Today she denied it completely.

3. Am i interacting with different versions of Shri or it’s merely her weak memory?

4. It’s a binary issue. Either 1 or 0. Either she ordered something and i named it pizza or something which made her think about pocket money.

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It ended in 2010.

1. The best of celebrations was a decade ago. They so arranged it that i was left with her and her.

2. It was serene. An Italian restaurant. Monika. The boys didn’t come on a pretext.

3. She was there for two birthdays in a row. Once i was washing clothes using washing machine when she called exactly at 12:00. It had never happened before and i wasn’t expecting it. The next one was in that restaurant. Pasta. Second best after the pasta made by Ramona Skovroneck.

4. I asked Vibhuti to lend me her mascara(eyeliner, kohl.) Then they took the best picture. Three of us. Not just one. She remarked on my transformation because of her(Monika not Vibhuti) influence. Only half of story…her half.

5. By the end of November 2011 it had all changed. Dark magic. These witches were calling me. My merits were too short-lived. A decade of struggle and pain with kabbalists after a 2.5 years of heaven…semi heaven. Lower middle class to middle middle class to below poverty line. What a waste of a life indeed!

6. By 2017 i had grown accustomed to stale porridge. The dark duo had eaten up all my space . These were people who promised of happiness and respect when they called upon me. Sadly they were charlatans waiting to avenge upon someone who escaped their daily grind of greed and cruelty to a place of pilgrimage.

7. Sad. Very sad indeed.