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Marooned means stranded, Raqib means all people, Aditi means dancing light of grace!

1. He hugged me for the second time in the fortnight. It means our relationship is improving. The last time he shared a Kit-Kat which brought memories of days when I used to share them with my batchmates in Chennai. It was Ashvini Dang who asked me to bring those to class. He was naturally a leader and played games with Sethu during first group induction. Richa used to call him ‘mand-buddhi’ but he was a jolly good fellow full of energy. He was lurking outside the Sri Aurobindo Samadhi because i was waiting for Ravneet. He made a comment on spot about my being obscene because he was into her by virtue of being Punjabi. Everyone was into her, Punjabi or non Punjabi.

2. His hug reminded me of Munna-Bhai. Because a call came. It seemed i got lucky. It seemed like most genuine among all people. One Arpit Gupta from Surat, Gujarat. Born in Rohtak Haryana. Makes 100 times more than me. Mota bhaai. I had attended a webinar on Data Analytics by Coding Invaders. What a name for a company. Killers. Spartans. I didn’t recall Alex. It seemed they were joking. One guy was lurking in the dark and it seemed he was mocking my video that i had shared with Sandra once. I asked a question about data-wrangling to Yulia Lund who was answering questions. She answered a bit late. After asking it thrice. Meanwhile, someone commented on my ‘professionalism,’ I took that much and launched myself into writing a Tohu verse.

3. Arpit Gupta didn’t recall any Yulia Lund but Alex. I was surprised. He reminds me of my batchmate who once in an auto taxi commented after seeing a fair girl who had only interacted with him once or twice: ” I am going to marry her,” and he married her to my surprise later on! He was from Raisen whereas Pooja was from Maharashtra.

4. He makes 100 times more than I do and says he’s looking to work with me long term. He’s a freelancer and also works for Coding Invaders. What kind of name is that. No, really?

5. I asked him if there was an agenda behind it. He said no. I really don’t know because I haven’t been this fortunate since 2012 to receive a good job offer.

6. The guy who hugged me was blinking his right eye like Ramsharan Patel who closed it while answering my questions as he sat taking his lunch. Vishaal was the name of young kid and now he said his name is Vicky. Strange indeed.

7. The guy who hugged me saves 8K per month. Among four of us he was mota bhai. I told him that. My rank was third. Despite my crystalline intelligence and verbal acumen. I have given him English coaching and yet he was fortunate enough to be at the right place at the right time to make that kind of handsome income.

8. I walked about 1 hour 45 minutes and played at least 8 jams. I got second rank many times but not first rank. PC played too good. One Alex was also there. I was surprised because Arpit talked about one Alex who was there in the seminar. When Arpit called me regarding feedback I was in the middle of scrapping grass.

9. Truth realm universe is easy to enter into. Difficult to stay in. I was shown liquor bottles some days ago. Later they said madamouiselle uses them to keep seeds. Tez etcetera used to consume liquor it seems. People who work hard in Gaushala need that to relax. A similar setting was in place in Gyaan Gudri Jagannath Ghat premise for people who worked in Gaushala. Another scene- i find a liquor bottle under almirah number one clockwise or thirteenth counter clockwise. Is it a conceit or a remnant of an event. I have no clue.

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Voltaire or Maxim Gorky?

1. Bowled 6 overs. Chatpati candy were needed to be bought because I needed to return 1 rupee change to Ashish. I had received 40 rupees from him towards the payment for the tally counter which I sold to his shop owner at the rate of 39 rupees. I had ordered for 234 rupees pack on Flipkart. I told him clearly that it’s “Made in China,” with no guarantee.

2. Chatpati candies cost 50 paise per piece. 8 candies I had. Five of them were consumed by me on the playground as I was practicing bowling and two of them were given to Rukman. One of them was given to Vandana who smiled looking at them and said:” shall I keep them, they’re twinkling like silver.”

Here you have a lady who was smiling because of a fifty paise candy. I should return the pen borrowed from her this morning.

3. I never knew Gupta ji had trouble walking until this evening. He made a generous contribution of one stand towards the “Gandhi Library.” We used to debate on some topics some times. He’s extremely right wing. A retired engineer. He remarked on the new tin shade for Goshala towards which I had given no attention so far.

4. That they never shared current periodicals of Gandhi Smarak Nidhi trust with me because I was wearing earphones or not will never be justified. Not in a million years. I explicitly asked for them. Many times. It’s akin to Miss Preeti Pandey only telling about the syllabus for exams to front benchers. She was the daughter of the ex-principal of Maharaja Chhatrasal Autonomous College. She wasn’t loud spoken like other teachers. I assumed she considered me a rowdy as i used to sit on back benches. It continued until sister Haycinth called us in office. Some of our seniors had picked on a habit of distorting name of father of church.

Like the forms of root Baalak:

Baalkah baalkau baalkah

Baalkam Baalkau Baalkaan

Baalken Baalkabhyaam Baalkebhyah

They modified the root ‘father’

Fadram fadrau fadraan

It instantaneously became a superhit.

I was the only one who cried in office. I had never uttered the words but because of the bad company. Sister Haycinth was in love with me. I loved her tests. She was absolutely sincere in tests. She used to make us sit outside of class and never allowed bags. I never cheated. I never needed to. The result is this:

India is my country all indians are my brothers and sisters. They all married their sisters and their progenies are products of incest.

5. In the scheme of the Father, the Son, and the holy ghost: the father is the ultimate God. Here you used to call father those who were ordained by Church.

6. The father Joseph Garvashish had a very long tenure here. Garvashish means “Gracious Pride.” I don’t know what Joseph means. I am open to suggestions.

7. He once made Santosh Kumar Shukla swear by keeping his hand on our heads about being vegetarian. He immediately cowered. That was enough to tell me about his being phony. They were both phonies.

8. Why? You may ask. Sisters of Nazareth versus Fathers of Satna.

He used to beat guys who were naughty. How else would he have been successful in managing guys who had harmonal imbalances?

He used to beat them with punches and kicks and we used to sing praises of our gracious father.

Even sisters used to beat us. All of them were violent. Including Rekha, Maya, Vandana and Dixit sir. Maybe Brijkishore Shukla was never violent as he was a romantic Mathmatics teacher who had passed out from college.

9. Once Joseph Garvashish beat a muslim kid who called his uncle. His uncle had a fight with father and the town inspector was called. The father became sober but never gave up violence.

10. It’s reality. I was interviewed by the principal of Shieling Public School . I took a demo class and told him that I didn’t fit in Sanskar Public School because I can’t beat kids. They’re violent people. Sanskar staff as well as principal. Management guys made kids kneel down when they were laughing on my games. It seemed as if they were laughing on me. On top of that they didn’t pay my salary because they needed a PNB account. I went back to ask for the salary which should have been paid as I had worked for more than 40 days. Spent money on bike’s fuel. The accountant said he would call me but didn’t.

11. Gandhi was inspired by Ruskin Bond. Leo Tolstoy. Joshua Ben Joseph. Harishchandra. Rama. Shravana Kumar.

12. If I am the way, the truth and the life. If I have tasted ambrosia. If I have the water of life: isn’t it popular that to turn the other cheek to your enemies was popularized as Christian impact on Gandhi whereas it might have been Mahaveera actually? Maybe. Maybe both. Jesus lived in India according to Holger Kerstein.

13. Do violent people in these schools mentioned above qualify to profess Christianity? No. Should they be given grants in the name of the only begotten son who let himself be sacrificed? No. What about one who ran with a whip towards the shopkeepers in synagogue? Yes. They’re the ones running the show. They’re the ones who hanged him. They’re the ones who let my articles be published or send them to trash. Within a night more than 60 of my articles reached to trash.

Voltaire is again turning up in his grave!

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Engagement Rings!

1. Any rings you wear are a serious business. Now i understand it with more clarity than ever before. Earlier the import used to be as much: whenever one of the protagonists cheated on their husbands or wives: they take off their engagement ring.

2. It’s an age old custom to wear metal rings, especially gold rings on the finger next to smallest finger. It indicates your engagement to the person who gave you that ring.

3. There are countless types of engagements: as many as you want to discover: like: plastic engagements, metal engagements, stone engagements and so on. Vallalar used ring as one of the refrains in his verses.

4. Today as the word ‘engagement’ appeared in the list of words i was teaching her : i asked her its meaning. She replied it to mean ‘busy.’

5. She was right. In the context there were many words which meant what was written. I told her another meaning by extension: “engaged to be married.” As used in phrase. Then i told her about the rings we wear. Later she asked if she could check my tally counter by wearing it and i agreed. She merely needed to curl it once and shorten the size. She wore it briefly. As i needed to call her mother : to show her the assignment that was supposed to be checked by her yesterday: i raised my voice. She was sitting nearby, chatting with another lady. As she was approaching- the girl quickly removed the counter from her finger and kept it above her phone. It showed her apprehension. It was kind of incomprehensible to me.

6. The ring indicates what Gurdjieff calls as ‘Kundabuffer.’ It also indicates cycles. Bicycles and others are adhibhautika counterparts of what’s adhyatmik kundalini. Many myths like JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings highlight this. I have lost and gained rings many times. I distinctly remember certain occasions where in presence of some couples it descended into my body as buffers. Sometimes it was irresistible and not so at others. This also explains clearly why my first sensual thoughts when i was merely five to seven years old were related to riding bicycle. Riding bicycle suggested manliness. It was old knowledge. Memes. Natural. Another cycle completed between my childhood memory and Gurdjieff’s work about Kundabuffer with my first hand experiences.

7. Someone read my post which was published on September 29th. It was titled Mandrake or hawker. The event was similar to one recent event where i rushed to return money and later we returned to square one beyond the banyan tree season. It only indicated one mediary in form of a friend whereas previously a bunch of books came when lockdown had let Jasveer go. It was season, the cold this time around to undo the changes done recently. Last time around it was the law in the guise of a disease. I guaged at my progress in three months. It seems i have known her for a lifetime now. And all that in three months. As if we’re on the same boat. Without me being either Gandhian, or a right wing priest or a farmer.

Such insights appear when we look at our ideas by using another viewpoint. My life seems to be like 350 lifetimes at the end of this year. I entered many voids with Dussehra 2016 being a very deep void–my visiting Azadpura to Pundit Dev Prabhakar Shastri and then to Tikamgarh shaman. 2020 was end of Pundit Dev Prabhakar Shastri’s story on this plane. Even Prahlada Jaani left his mortal coil. He was the most popular among breatharian adepts of this age. Every day has been a lifetime this year!

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Is Freedom Free?

1. I lost again. She scored 100 points more on both German and Algebra.

2. I registered some books. Maybe 35.

3. This is a beautiful day. Twilight Zone. Dakshinamurti strotam under eight petalled lotus.

4. I played some vocabulary jams. I need to play some more.

5. 2341325422 are ranks i received on jams. There were only 10 to 12 players. Yet: I had slowed down. My ability to slow down or increase my metabolic rate is nothing extraordinary. It’s akin to activity and rest. Like jogging and sleeping. From Tibetan Book to Kapil of Samkhya it’s a homecoming. Peace. Whatever you see is verily the Truth. Don’t look for miracles or hidden mysteries.

6. Day 6 in Deendayal rasoi:

I was asked to sit by a hand gesture.

Left hand gesture as the catering volunteer wearing glasses was writing with his right hand.

I sat there for a while; playing free rice. I was surprised to learn that he didn’t ask my name and wrote it by using his memory. It might be the biggest honor this month. I didn’t forget to thank him for his generosity. He was there in 2018:

“Dau ki bhauji ke XYZ. Jab karam bigad jaate hain to aisa hi hota hai…”

I am not sure who that was intended for but I took it to mean for me. It was a memory of delays. The cook had a longer pardah or ghoonghat than yesterday.

A guy with a T-shirt which had an image of Shiva and Bam written on it showed up.

They wanted me to write this note. The T-shirt was gifted by Guddu bhaiya. His name is present on the inauguration stone. Outside the premise. I never hesitated to take help from charities or communities and it was always so. It seemed as if I was an orphan. I never doubted my integrity for reality. Not even for a split second. Humanity is a fraction of reality. I had doubts grasping complex society.

The hot chapattis are actually rotis. They were never available at house. It was bhaiya bhabhi United productions. It was dark. I trusted railway stations more than the mother who kept me subdued for selfish reasons.

I ate those rotis. The lady who cooked them is my mother. She verily deserves all my respect and reverence. I can touch her feet at any moment if required.

I never had those hot rotis before. Perhaps very briefly in 2018. It was a rainy affair in those days. I was investigating miracles then. Now I was sure of Kabbalistic Deuteronomy.

It’s not a sign of weakness to trust charities. A faction works inside this premise. Another works in that house. As many universes as beings: all overlapping with each other.

7. Ambrosia is costly. It’s gained by being meritorious but then as your consciousness expands: you need to grow all around : else you are always lacking something. Social intelligence or civics is connected to Morality. As you grow in intelligence you need to integrate all that you knew with the latest knowledge. Give credit to get credit. Don’t give debit as it creates further interest. Compound interest is too much to pay. Anyone in the world deserves as much freedom as you do. If you remember this: you shall be fine.

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Morning Bowling Session!

1. Purva Phalguni quarter four is ruled by Mars. It’s a Tuesday. Venus rules Purva Phalguni which falls in Leo constellation. By this evening Moon will enter Virgo. Moon has exceeded degrees of Mars and by evening it will exceed degrees achieved by Venus, becoming Atmakaraka for a while before it enters house of Mary.

2. I saw many pigeons as I bowled in Shatabdi. I was late. I saw 14 Chepla birds going South. They indicate a cycle. I saw an army personnel on a bicycle in green pagdi going towards Chhatrasal Carrefour as I was entering academy. I bought a black mask worth twenty rupees. A wire was lying broken outside the old Gyandeep stationery.

3. Shiva came to drop Rukman. She’s now an aspirant for MBA. She wanted to become an anchor and a pilot. She had a brief stint at MMHS as a teacher. She says she finds preparation for MBA to be easier now than what it seemed before. Now they have more colleges and more options. Richa Gupta cracked it easily. I used to teach her words using Michael Quinion’s World Wide Words. Of all the students I have taught vocabulary to: Richa was smartest. She was deep and in the induction she used words to mean that people shouldn’t treat other people as objects. She didn’t know that it becomes absolutely necessary to do so in some walks of life. She had a Virgo Moon and Scorpio ascendant and she was my first friend on Facebook. In fact she invited me to join Facebook. Her husband also has a Virgo ascendant with Virgo Moon. They’re rich people.

4. Dhruv is now working out with Yash. It’s good that they’re working out even before they reached college. I worked out in college for about three years in Suresh Soni’s gym. I took cretin in those days for a while which had fish extracts. I knew what I was doing. I also had bread which had egg as a component when Prashant Gupta brought it in Mahaveer Colony house.

5. I always felt lack of food and space. Leonardo Da Vinci always felt lack of time. We are all striving after something or the other.

6. It’s eighth day of dark half of lunar month as per Hindu calender. I could see Moon in the Southern direction. The pentagon in the star hanging on Church of MMHS has five three pointed stars. The pentagon is red whereas stars are white. The core represents heart or red drop whereas white triangles represent white drops in trinities. Red drop absorbs white ones and bliss is born. Logos is a negative energy or a positive power based on whether you adhere to Archons or Gnostics respectively. I asked Shiva if she would be able to refer me to Maria Mata staff. She said I might have a chance in next session. It might be a long wait. You don’t know what’s going to happen next.

7. I bowled 60 times. 10 overs. Sweating. 17 hits. 8122020. Saturn. Venus. Mars. Balance.

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An Eventful Day!

1. This day seems to be more eventful than i expected it to be.

2. It’s 15:02 PM. I might be a strike breaker. I had a word for it. The dark skin which comes on your wound after it begins to heal. Scab is the word. It’s because i feel hungry already.

3. All protests are symbolic.

4. I took pictures from the spot where they’re sitting in protest against farmer’s bill and MSP. Kajal ki kothri mein kaiso hi sayano jaay…….

11 to eat!

5.

Void is filled by Bhagwan. Don’t be void!

6. AKA: Khaali dimaag devil’s workshop. Gulzar’s Aandhi.

7. Whenever they talk about fasting i begin feeling more hungry.

8. I suggested the plank guy to put a dot on Hai to make it plural: Hain. He did it after the second suggestion and directive from madam.

9. Imran Akhtar Beg met me outside ATM again. I called him by name. We had a discussion. I recalled having forgotten my ball in the Shatabdi ground.

10. He might take Spoken English classes from me beginning from 11.12.2020.

11. Another reminder of how we remember different aspects of our friends:

A. He recalled our college days. I used to see him with Anil as they were pursuing their MCA. He also recalled our Cricket practice in middle school.

B. I recalled his being a top scorer in handwriting competition. I tried many formats, copied many styles and sometimes Abhishek Narayana Sinha used to appear with a pencil and copied just four lines which used to fetch him first, second or third rank.

Imran was genuinely a good human being. I hope he’s still a good human being. When i used to ask him where he used to get his fair notebooks from: he used to tell: from depot my father brings them.

I could never comprehend where this depot was but his father definitely took care of his studies well. No wonder he has been gainfully employed for a long time.

12. I had a dream. A dog which became a lion vanished in East. Became a star. Dog star? I saw seven sisters. They’re still here. Though Shri says they’re seven : they’re eight as i have observed them often. Vidyarthiji says it’s Bayaa also known as Ghengha. It’s an expert in nest making but its eyes are yellow. They give it an appearance of anger.

After the vanishing of lion i came out of the Pooja Room in house. I move towards right to parent’s room and see many students. It was after chaos. I couldn’t make heads or tales of the dream.

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19112020

1. A black fish is swimming in aquarium. A lone fish.

2. A girl comes to watch us study. I call her by name and she goes upstairs.

3. A man called Hari on a red TVS bike. Outside Narasimha temple.

4. A man who was searching for something. A torch with another.

5. Krishna. Hari.

6. Monkeys. I bowl an over and a ball. Seven balls. After that I practice catching and the ball enters the pavilion. The place where they practice laughing.

7. That place is locked. The ball once went to its roof. I had a lesson that day. Another today. I saluted East as well as West.

8. A kingfisher perches on a white pipe on neighbor’s roof. As I try talking to it: another perches for a moment near me. Then it goes South West to an electric poll. Its wings were beautiful.

9. It was the most beautiful fog. Dhundh.

10. Two people saluted each other.

11. Rohan asks me to teach him: donk means horse. Scorpion means Saggitarius.

12. 11 are Rudras in Hindu pantheon.

13. Twin peaks. Twin flames. Gemini. Fire. Mouth of dragon. Priest. Speech. Air which purifies.

14. Fire is the carrier of merits. Prometheus.

15. Fire is current. The life force.

16. Fire is Sun. The Mars. Fire is Ganapati. Fire is Kethu. The liberation. The flag.

17. Fire is Shiva.

18. Fire is Rudras. The healers. Ashvini Kumaras. Dhanvantari.

19. Fire is rebellion. Fire is independence. Fire is Vallalar. Dancing light of grace. Fire is Manikavacchagar. Vaishwanara. Knowledge. Knowember. I bowled 5 overs. I enjoyed the view.

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20201114

1. I had a meal worth at least 131 rupees. Milk was not available as it got used up in making kheer-a dish made with rice. I didn’t eat the dish because of what happened in 2016 Sharad Purnima. The dreams. Then bespectacled jyotishi then Dev Prabhakar Shastri and so on… courtesy Vandana.

2. It was the costliest meal this year. I hope that nobody sleeps hungry this night…unless ofcourse they want to.

3. Food of one type or the other is common requirement for all. Even adepts like Prahlad Jani have some kind of food or the other.

4. After Dussehra this was the most important festival here. I enjoyed Dussehra more.

5. I played vocabulary jams: about five of them. I scored about 222311 ranks. I wondered why there were no players. Were they busy celebrating Diwali in USA and Europe?

6. I recalled my truest friends: Subhash Ahirwar who is in Bhopal. He made a movie and showed it to me while I was in a delirium: about to swoon and leave my body. It had happened over and over again. I repeatedly went to Gandhi Smarak Bhavan and Railway Station. I don’t know how he came to know. He was the only one who showed a movie in my last moments and told me:

“Sir, your time’s up.”

My consciousness was embedded into the movie he made. Like many other movies.

He also said: what you are seeing in the movie is one of your shadows.

He was the only one to use that terminology. He was truthful. I needed someone like him.

We were playing chaturvyuha: Vasudeva Sankarshana Pradyumna Aniruddha or Ram Laxman Bharat Shatrughan. It comes from the Pancharatra or Panchayat tradition started by Narada.

Sun. Shiva. Shakti. Ganesha. Vishnu.

These five are deities primarily worshipped in Hinduism.

At once Shri ran towards the library door and some other times I was teaching her. The coconut water. Amarjeet. Axe.

How many deaths do you need to master it?

How many deaths to dream…in words of Aakriti Kuntal

This article is dedicated to all those truthful young people who told me things clearly. Who were kind to me this year.

7. There was an old man. I met him in Vrijpura. He clearly sang about my being sacrificed. Ram Charan Vidyarthi- the librarian told it in not so many words and even showed some miracles. The secretary was polite as far as material aspect is concerned. She’s still my employer. The one half of the equation was balanced by her. Yet: it was the young ones: Ankit and Krishna Kant. Shri: who let me continue reading. It was the librarian who employed me to cleanse the library. To protect the treasure. Saahu ji was also helpful. It was a job very few would have volunteered for as it was unpaid.

8. My parents, grandparents, siblings and neighbors: they never told things clearly. They mixed material with spiritual. They regularly used black magic while keeping me white. A lamb to be sacrificed. Think about it: four to five of them constantly consuming poisons and using dark path while you’re supposed to be a teetotaller and a celibate. It was : being butchered without knowing it. It was too much of debt somehow. My intuition wanted me to stay away from this place: because I was always happier in places like Bhopal, Bangalore and even in Chennai. After getting initiated into mysteries: I was even more at odds with these people. I don’t know if I have made it to the truth realm universe. There are limitations.

9. While two of them: Vandana and Satya Prakash suggested that liberation requires merits: Santosh and Ved didn’t even talk about it clearly. Ved mostly rehashed what I told him about liberation. What Vandana and Satya didn’t know was this: bodies are constantly decaying and falling off in the time continuum. Only Shukadev of Bhagvata told it to Parikshit. The swoon and fever: I hated the first one most: it was death.

10. I told many people that liberation only needed knowledge and not merits. It’s what I had read. Merits need further consumption of fruits generated therefrom. The thing was: what comes after liberation. Jeevanmukta was turiya. What about Turiyateeta. Even a Turiyateeta needs abodes to stay and pure body of gnosis and bliss. Knowledge is also merit but the knowledge spoken of here is Pratibha: the talent in form of dancinglightofgrace which can activate any power. Ambrosia.

11. This year was eventful. It’s going to end on a positive note. I have gained materially and spiritually amidst a pandemic. It wasn’t a pandemic for me but a revelation. Atma Pariyojna. Freedom from euthanasia. It’s happening everyday. Anyone meeting me and talking to me would develop an understanding which frees them from fear of death.

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United Nations World Food Programme: Free Rice: Help Alleviate Hunger!

I just raised 44000 grains of rice on Freerice! For every answer you get right, 5 grains go to the UN World Food Programme. Play it here: https://freerice.com/apps

1. I was paid my fees today after I requested my student. It was delayed by about one and half day. To feed myself I have to work hard these days.

2. I got the new job. I taught these new students at a new location. The guy who owns the room came flashing a tea cup as soon as it was five minutes more than the allotted hour. I was giving homework to the senior student. He directed a jab at me: “leave now or do you need tea or coffee?” These are poor people. Poor in spirit as well as knowledge.

3. As I was thinking about the guy who let me play Cricket with him in the academy: another group of four people came. They were polite but they had one leather ball. I knew from the onset that the bat was soon going to succumb to the ball.

4. The utility of cinema and movies: they do away with lust for mundane. Art is indeed the culmination of philosophy. The most refined expression. It’s made costlier, like sky, water, space, air and fresh ether day by day. You are crushed by taboos like death, sex, military and police so that life becomes more difficult than it already is. There are countless memes fighting with each other and vying for your attention. The end: two of them: light and darkness: freedom and slavery defining each other. I face the acute problem of being underpaid despite giving my best in teaching. The students and their surrounding area consume life force. In return: they wait for the moments when you are the weakest to attack you. Though you are supposed to honor all the contracts: nobody asks them about why they pay so little and that too with delay.

5. I visited the library knowing well it will be an exhibition on occasion of Gandhi’s birthday. I saw some thirty people over there. Most of them are unfamiliar. They’re all well fed people. Khaadi is so costly that I haven’t been able to buy even a single kurta in the last two three years.

6. I am free. A sovereign. I serve only myself. I see only myself. I am seeing sights never before seen. I am seeing magic tricks. The last few excruciating deaths only confirm that you can’t rely on family or friends. They are myths. It’s a non stop war as far as market is concerned. Lal Bahadur Shastri was also born on this day. The handpump given by the government scheme in the movie Peepli Live redirects you towards humorous side of poor people sacrificing themselves. I asked a guy about “Aatma Pariyojna” and he affirmed about having heard it.

7. I asked myself : if I was slave to money or environment. The gnosis revealed: money was a dense form of energy or food which was need to sustain life force. Minimalism was supposed to work for all of us combined. In a scheme where some people have hoarded for aeons : while you followed the precept of letting go: you are left with a bowl. The teachings of classic texts become the cause of your constant poverty. I shape environment and the environment shapes me. The academy ground was not as clean as the road where I used to go for walk. Come to think of it: in the last twenty five days there have been no municipality people to cleanse the ground. There are many who litter, drink and through stray paper as well as water pouches. Everyone likes cleanliness but it seems to be only up to me to maintain it at my house, in the academy ground as well as other places. It’s strange that these people feel no need to clean up their mess.

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Eyes Wide Open

1. The parrots were feeding on the same ground where I had uprooted carrot grass as my first field exercise two years ago. It drizzled as I was walking and then as I was taking the class. I had a tea and water balls.

2. The black moth is flying. I sometimes think: when I am most experienced, I am poorest. The first one was by birth, second by choice and the third one was because of being prey to optimism. You can’t keep both–the lifestyle of your choice as well as the capacity to buy unless you are an accomplished alchemist.

3. Radha Ashtami. Anuradha constellation transit of Moon. Seven years ago when prasadam was given to me in the temple where I had reached after running away from house(‘house is not the home’ is the name of the chapter which was read today)–i was told that it was birthday of the divine potency which is the governer of bliss. It is considered that nobody enters the divine abode Vrindavan without her permission. I considered it a synchronization as I had no idea about it before I made my mind up for escaping duties, job and marriage. I had to exit from Vrindavan because of the same divine will which had taken me there.

4. The difference between words. I was thinking about the possibility of watching a movie but it seems I have no time. The drilling machine overhead did seem boring and musical at times but I have to manage with the night hounds which come unannounced. Is this what sanity feels like? Crickets are chirping and vehicles are passing by. I hear the flute orchestra. The author who wrote Jaina Darshana–Ratanlal Jain -didn’t impress me least bit. The forgetfulness is a flurry of ideas for sure and each identity takes some energy but the sense of it all being dependent on ‘existence’ never goes away. Between an adept who has gained mastery over death and one who is seeking: countless number of hours of work is put from the seeker’s viewpoint, who is in the temporal realm shaping a world of his own, one among infinite number of possibilities whereas the adept is beyond time, only immersed in itself timelessly and formlessly. Formulae might be useful but knowledge as a whole is synonymous with reality, with perfection and can’t be contained. I recall her eyes in the last class when I let her go and I knew it right from the first moment I saw her, but the eyes that constantly watch me never let me go.

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

In the beginning was the beginning!

There was a dead dog lying on my way. There were flies on it. I heard hymns as I walked towards the PAN card office. He gave me a receipt but the excuses he was giving for the delay had no solid grounds. I had given him the details before applying and his optimism about getting it in time has been a curve with downward slope.

Lopsided excuses by the new prospective employer who was either not able to afford me or didn’t find my demonstration satisfactory. She gave lame excuses just to be polite and it’s third rejection this season which goes to show I have put in efforts and I handle rejection very well. Now schedule is not going to be hectic but I have to explore a new dimension. The kid had headache as yet another drunken brawl caused him stress and anxiety. His plight is felt deeply but I am only a tutor. I have heard all kind of talk but the low mindedness to which people around me have gone merely to ensure that I comply with the status quo would make these pages look filthier if filled with detail. These are the same people who utter name of Gandhi and Shiva day in and day out and they have their own versions of all principles to suit their need. Jumman, the labourer was holding a quarter of beer under the teen shade made for labourers. I interviewed him before entering this premise on May Day in 2018. Nothing seems to have changed for him it seems. I have not observed his mad wife who used to break bricks using her head. The way about the way is to keep walking here. As it turns out: the tea stall guy created the ruckus merely to be able to abuse openly. Similarly, the big scandal was created to make sure that all the attention is drawn to their safety. I kept walking to only hear whining people whine more loudly. I am happy to have not got lost in my overpowering ecstasy. It’s good that I can walk for a while. Rest later…

Posted on by dancinglightofgrace

A Crow, A Crowbar and A Couple of Mules!

1. Transport vehicles have a story to tell via messages written on them: one says: “man doesn’t become unhappy because of his own pain but because of giving pleasure to others.” Another says: ” mercy is the cause of unhappiness.” It’s not amusing but certainly off the mark as far as philosophy goes. It’s a Saturday and two strange things happen: there was a man walking before me with his hand in his back pocket: as soon as he disappeared in a street while I stop to take a picture of a crow, two mules emerge out of the street suddenly behind me. Tapping of their feet continued quite for some time as kabbalists are at unrest. A man carrying sand in a red trolley abuses the TCIE express truck driver. A duo on bike whisper in the ears of mule “you’re acting like a goon.”

I take some pictures and keep walking. A kingfisher flies from left to right just before the pulley. The small truck was carrying plywood. I saw the deaf man coming with a puffed up chest towards me and the man in the black shirt was carrying a crowbar. I took the picture of a crow. It’s Saturday and Saturn rides the crow they say. I kept watching the parrot until it disappeared. I observed another group of birds chattering on a mandap. I was wondering if the truck guys were genuine. Barely three of us and he asked me to help him push the truck as his battery was down. I asked him to call more people and he did. The truck started and we shook hands before they disappeared in the drizzle. They were going to Gwalior from Satna via this route. The reason they stopped might be: a superstition, a lack of permit or the probability that they were drunk or carrying something illegal. The guy who told his name to be Ravi didn’t have straight answers to my questions, neither did the other guy who said he was named Sheru. I recall that event when I gave a hand to a trailer, before that a bike. The bike event did seem genuine but now I doubt. Master mason “the mentalist” told me about the “asking for help because

2. Tears started flowing down my cheeks because of her unconditional love. The man on the first tea stall was blabbering some strange things while women were brushing their teeth with neem sticks. At the minute I left my house some women were doing pooja. The kuntal lady stopped penning verses after being diagnosed as KJ mentalist.

3. Though it’s a strange world but everything has to add up to 8 as it’s a Saturday. A taxi passes by with a song playing. It names women as characterless and everything dependent on money. Why women need to pass all test? Because men are the designers. There’s no proof for men creating women out of ribs but it’s good to go.

4. And soon that break also becomes work. As far as I am concerned: I neither rest nor work. Some people who are addicted to work keep working even in the sleep. A van with the name ‘Udandasta’ passes by. It means a flying squad. It’s not flying but it’s called so for some reason.

5. It’s a strange world. The student wanted me to focus on the chapter. He was rude. He neither knew the meaning of Science nor knew the meaning of literature. He is a sixteen year old shaped by the modern education which has mostly dumb people in positions of authority as truly educated people like Dhaniram are not found on any chairs. I am amazed at the games a bunch of people play. Superstitious people who neither want to let you live nor let you die in peace. It’s a rigged game. Devil may care about the details : you just care about the retails. The old man needs 150 grams of mustard oil for massage. Ganesh brand. The kid can order pizzas but he imagines that his best friend is an under nineteen cricket player who never has the time to talk. He might be doing this just to escape the harsh reality. The void. He might be interested in becoming an actor more than a cricketer. I really don’t know how the synchronization of murder, mayhem and revenge is orchestrated but like romances there has been not even an iota of truth in any comeuppance or poetic justice. I don’t know why they want to plant it in your mind that being vigilante is good. The best course here is to move out first thing.